lol poops

me: [enjoys my garbage]

some pretentious fuck: excuse me, but that thing you are enjoying has no real intellectual substance and I don’t like it and you are stupid for liking it

me: [enjoys my garbage MORE AGGRESSIVELY]

Poo Emoji Brownies

Yields 6-8

The things you’ll need

  • 1 cup + 2 tablespoons sugar
  • ½ cup all purpose flour
  • 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa
  • ¼ teaspoon baking powder
  • ¼ teaspoon salt
  • ½ cup vegetable oil
  • 1/3 cup milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 egg

Let’s get started!

  1. Preheat oven to 325ºF.
  2. In a large bowl, whisk together sugar, flour, cocoa powder, and salt.
  3. Add oil, milk, vanilla, and egg and mix until well combined.
  4. Pour into a well-sprayed Swirl Mold and wrap with foil.
  5. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for another 30 minutes.
  6. Cool completely and remove from the molds.

Time to decorate!

  1. Use white and black royal icing to pipe faces on each of the poo brownies.
  2. Ta-Doo-Doo! Poo never smelled so good!

Unicorn Poop Cookies

Yields 6-8 cookies

The things you’ll need

  • 2 ¾ cups all purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ½ cup sugar
  • ¼ cup honey
  • 2/3 cup butter
  • 1 egg
  • ¼ teaspoon vanilla, orange, & lemon extract
  • Electric pink, yellow, blue, purple, green, & orange food dye

Let’s get started!

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt.
  3. In a large bowl, beat together sugar, honey, and butter until light and fluffy.
  4. Add an egg and mix until well combied.
  5. Pour the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and mix until well incorporated.
  6. Divide the dough into 6 equal parts and then dye and flavor each part.
  7. Tightly wrap each colored dough in plastic wrap and then refrigerate for 30 minutes.
  8. Roll each color into a small rope and line the ropes up in rainbow order.
  9. Gently roll out the rainbow to flatten it and then cut out poo shapes.
  10. Bake for 8 minutes.

Time to decorate!

  1. Allow cookies to cool and then lightly brush them with edible disco dust.
  2. TaDa! These dainty droppings will make your party magical!