lol no this world will always be shitty

anonymous asked:

I love the passion you put when you talk about Benedict C. So I would like to know 5 things you love about him (physically or his personality) take your time. Thanks!

Hello! This kind of ask is always so hard to answer! But also fun, so sit back and relax…it’s going to be a long one!

Personality: I have had a few celeb crushes throughout my years and none have ever stuck, quite like Bc and it’s because of his personality, his charisma. I have never seen a celebrity as real as Bc is. This dude can’t hide his dorkness to save his life and I love that. He’s not pretending to be goofy or nerdy, this man IS a legit dorkus malorkus. And he’s never ashamed of that. Sure he can pull it together to be suave and sophisticated when needed, and who doesn’t love that kind of ‘batch that swoons are made of, BUT he can’t hide his playfulness and his childlike wonderment for the world around him.

He’s photo bombed, he’s been moved to tears, his PDA with Sophie because he’s so proud to have his girl beside him is just so sweet!!, and if he’s outraged, you bet he’s going to have his say. This man manages to move about the world like nobody is watching him, even when all eyes are on him!! and that to me is amazing. He is always himself.

Regardless of what is happening in the world, Benedict always comes across as being grateful for being alive. I’m sure it has to do with his near death experiences that make him really live the life he’s always wanted. You can’t just throw the word privileged out there and say well he grew up privileged and so he had the upper hand in the world. I don’t agree with that. I know people who have had all the privilege and done nothing with it. I know of people who have had nothing and have accomplished so much. It all comes to how you see the world, and Bc knows there is bad in this world, he knows we as global citizens are in trouble, but he doesn’t let that stop him from living and working, and from lending a hand via monetary, personal items, vocal or his time, to support whatever charity causes he can so they can get things accomplished. That is the power of Benedict Cumberbatch. He just cares and he is always trying to be the best human being he can. I don’t practice that a lot in my own life, but watching Bc and supporting him, it gives me so much encouragement to keep living and to keep striving to be the best person I can be and to always stay true to myself.

His Work Ethic: I think if anything is synonymous with the name Benedict Cumberbatch, it’s gotta be his work ethic. The man never seems to take a break! He goes from one job to the next and he still manages to fit in time with this family. But most importantly he builds up rapport with everybody he works with. The Collective have never heard a bad word from anybody that has worked with Bc. His costars seem to grow to love him and I mean how can ya not…just read above and try not be Cumberbatched! To me, Bc doesn’t just see this as a job, as a career that he’s in to make money. He loves  to act, he loves to research and learn all about what and whom he is playing. He doesn’t just put on the Belstaff coat and bam! Hes Sherlock, he doesn’t just put on the Cloak and bam! He’s Doctor Strange, he didn’t just do Smaug’s voice in a recording booth and call it a day. He actually got on the ground and became Smaug, he used his entire body to create that voice.

When Benedict uses his entire body to make the characters come to life it is just amazing. Listening to Cabin Pressure, he is Martin Crieff!! You can’t see him but just hearing him as Martin and imagining that he is the hapless but well meaning young pilot who’s always getting the short end of the stick and being bested by Douglass. It’s more than just the pitch of the voice or the accent, it’s more than just the costume he puts on. You HEAR it, you SEE it through his eyes, his hands, his facial expressions. Using all of the body’s movements and senses, that is the Cumberbatch way! Because he takes becoming these characters very seriously, he works damn hard at creating this world of fiction to come alive. Even more so when he is playing somebody who existed in real life, like Alan Turing and Billy Bulger.

Anybody can act. You just walk in, learn the script and repeat the words, right? Well not if yer Benedict Cumberbatch. That man will walk in, learn the script, ask questions, repeat the words and floor everybody in the room, because he gets right into the heart of what the character is feeling and thinking. He made me fall in love and sympathize with his Richard iii, he made me cry when lil Charles was getting berated by his mother, he made scream in pain at stephen’s first look at his damaged hands and he made me wish I could hug and comfort his Alan, at the thought of him losing his Christopher. So yes anybody can act, and anybody can work at acting, but you have to be Benedict Cumberbatch to be able to pull it off, flawlessly!

His love for Sophie: We all know that Bc is such a romantic. He learned it from watching his own father adore his mother. Bc made it known early on that what he wanted more than a successful career was to have his own family. To be married and be a father. To add children to enhance his already growing and rich life. He finally found that with Sophie Hunter and nothing in this world makes me happier, than to see Benedict with Sophie. You cannot deny that the boy has it BAD for that girl and that is why he put a ring on it and started banging out (pun intended LOL) Cumberbabies with her!!

You cannot tell me that when Bc floated down that red carpet with Sophie during the Oscars 2015, it was only because he was excited he was nominated for Best Actor. NOPE. That man floated because he was carrying sunshine wherever he went and that was because not only was he was being recognized for his work, but mama was carrying precious cargo in her belly. Of course Benedict’s work makes him happy, but the life he created with Sophie, the children they have, is what keeps that sweet man going because it’s all he’s ever wanted and I’m so glad and grateful to Sophie for keeping our boy full of sunshine that it radiates from his entire body and it affects us all in the most beautiful ways. He and Sophie make relationship goals more than just a hashtag. They make it a must for all that believe that true love is real and available to all those who seek it :)

His Face: The eyes. Those lips. That hair. And the cheekbones you could cut yourself on! sighhhh I don’t have fancy words to describe Bc’s face. All I know is that when I look at his face, the words ugly, weird, alien, otter or sloth never come to mind. I see beauty in it’s most perfect form. 

The Bc during Sherlock s1 was so young and fresh and pretty but as the years went by, the young and fresh went to dramatic and breathtaking to older and wiser and to tired with stories to tell. Benedict is an age chameleon. In his middle 30s he could look in his early 20s. Now in his early 40s he can easily look as if he was in his late 20s! He can make Sherlock look like he’s been through hell and back, (not to mention the sexiest fucked up of a mess that shezza can be) and he can make Sherlock look at peace and happy like that little pirate he once was before his innocence was drowned. 

Bc can go from model ready for the cover of vanity fair, to hipster hanging out with friends, or to dad on casual day at the office. He is the man with a thousand looks and faces and all of them are beautiful and real. Bring on the age because I can’t wait to see how much more this man will drive us wild when he’s in his 60s!

His Humanity: All the things that I mentioned above, would not be possible if it wasn’t for Benedict’s humanity. He thinks and applies being altruistic in all that he does. He cares about his fans, he cares about the world, he cares about speaking out for those who don’t have a voice. His humanity is what generates through him to project and promote, togetherness, love and understanding. His humanity is what makes him the most attractive human being on this earth.

To be a member of the CumberCollective is something special. I don’t always follow the right path and I shoot my mouth off way too much,( I can’t help it, it’s who I am lol)  but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about my fellow human beings. It’s hard for somebody like me to care for people when people have been shitty to me my entire life, but Benedict makes me want remain on this planet and to be a member of this group of fans that are better than me, that can show me the way to try to be a better human being. I fail so much at that, but having friends in this fandom that practice that and get it right on a daily basis (like @elennemigo  and @sobeautifullyobsessed ) seeing Benedict interact with his fans at events or even on the street, these things matter to me and it helps me to see that the end of the day, even somebody like me, just might be…human :)

Thanks for stopping by!

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Barisi Series Update

Guyssss a) I’m alive and b) it’s my birthday :D

c) i’m old D:

This has been another terrible year, but I try to focus on the positive, so I’m hanging in there. With your help <333

So, my present to myself (along with like 5 lipsticks), and also my present to you, is this post: I’m letting you all know that I have spent the past 12 days (starting June 1st) working on the final installment if my Barisi Series :D

Yes, that means the Barisi wedding is officially ON.

(and yes, this will be the final installment for the foreseeable future. I’ve chosen this as the closing point of my series because a wedding is a beginning, and I hate endings. We can all imagine their adventures after my story ends :D)

Before I give you any more details, I would like to thank a few people. First, the anons who keep sending me asks about this, even now, more than a year since I posted the last installment. You’ve all kept the idea of a wedding alive in my mind. Secondly, I want to thank @booyahkendell because she got excited at the very mention of a wedding (in my tags!), which got me excited as well <333 Thirdly, I want to thank all the people who are still finding my series on AO3 and leaving comments, even though the story is so old like me lol. Special mention to @me-ladie for re-reading the series and leaving a comment in each installment. I’ve said it before, when I get a comment I tend to re-read that particular fic (all of it, or bits of it, if it’s longer), just to get in the right mindset, to better respond to the reader. So getting all those comments, and re-reading practically the entire series, well, it certainly helped :D

And now for the update:

I have about 20K of extremely detailed notes. Some are old, randomly jotted down throughout the past year (or longer), and some (about 12K) are brand new. I have arranged my notes into 9 separate parts (not chapters, more like scenes. I’m thinking 3 chapters overall), with little sub-sections for smaller scenes or moments (including 3 extended smut scenes. I’ve missed writing smut. For standalone stories it’s a little trickier, and  I can’t always get there from a writer’s perspective, but for my series I’m like *cracks fingers* okay so what kink haven’t I written yet? lmao)

At this point the fic can practically write itself. As long as inspiration comes, of course. And it’s been coming. I’m writing on the go, on the bus, as I walk, as I wait. Bits of dialogue, usually, but also random ideas I can incorporate in my pre-existing scenes. That’s a good feeling :D

Now, because I know myself, I know that if I keep writing down random ideas, I will find myself with like 40K of messy, rough and disorganized notes, and I’ll freeze up because I won’t know where to start (see also: Halloween Fic, The).

Which is why I stopped faffing about and just started writing the damn fic, like a normal person (gasp!). I’m already 2K in :D

(re: the Halloween fic, I have long passed the point of having waaaaay too many notes, lol. Just thinking about it gives me a headache. I even organized my notes, but there’s so much to write. So many tidbits. I’ll finish my wedding fic first, which is relatively easier to write, since I have it all mapped out, and then I’ll ruthlessly edit the Halloween story. I’ll chop it up, tighten it up, and go from there lol. New target date: Actual Halloween, 2017 :D Who told me it’d be easy to write an elaborate canon AU?)

So. Thank you all for being here for me. You might not know it, but you are helping me keep it together, every single day. May our little Barisi family stay alive, and active, and creative, and supportive, and kind, and happy.

I love you all <33333

also omg when i blow the candles i’mma wish for a season of SVU that isn’t shitty :D

literally everyone in the world could tell me that my hair is too short, or its lopsided, or i have a chubby face with this haircut, but i wouldnt care about any of it, because this haircut gives me the lowest amount of body dysphoria that i have ever had in my fucking life. ive always felt so good with a shitty bob cut and im gonna stick to shitty bob cuts for the rest of my fucking life, and also cut my own hair, because cutting my own hair makes me feel in control of my life

I know I keep saying “I’ll get back on this blog!!” but I swear to God I will!!! XD

here’s… something quick I banged out today because I was feeling Maurice real strongly?? I love my trash boy. figured I’d share because the world could always use more Maurice and at least it’s Black Butler something lol.

real talk I think the reason I like Maurice so much is because I relate to him a lot? he seems like a very insecure young man under all that make-up and shitty behavior.


He’s a joke. He’s ugly. He’s a terrible person.

His mirror lies in broken shards on the floor. Since yesterday. There are corresponding cuts along the knuckles of his right hand that make it clear it wasn’t an accident.

He can’t stand looking at himself. Not anymore. Not ever again.

Maurice has to go back to class eventually. Someday. Not today. He doesn’t want to go back. Everybody’s laughing at him. How is he supposed to show his face on campus? Make-up won’t help. It used to, but it won’t from now on. That was the last thing he had to cover himself up, to avoid looking at himself like he’s bad. Pretty people can’t be bad. As long as he was beautiful, as long as he worked and made himself pretty, then he couldn’t be a bad person.

Except he is. He’s been bad for a while now. It’s just that now the outside matches the inside.

He doesn’t want to get out of bed. Why bother? All that’s waiting for him is the exhaustion of coursework and the jeering of his peers. Because they’re going to do that. Now that they know his beauty was a lie, they’re not just going to let that go. Even if they said nothing, he’d still feel it. Their eyes. Their silent laughing. The thick syrup of being judged that will press at him from all directions and refuse to let him breathe. If he leaves this room, he’s going to drown and he doesn’t want to drown and he doesn’t even want to be here anymore and he can’t go out there and he can’t–

Can’t do anything anymore. All he’s good for is huddling under the covers and sobbing and pulling on his own hair.

Without his confidence – fake, fake, fake, fake – he’s nothing. Without that, he can’t talk sweet or persuade other boys to give him their homework or make everyone else look worse than he does. It’s not the truth. His false security gave him the ability to do all that. To be comfortable being a bad person and doing bad things. It came from making himself look pretty, from looking in the mirror and seeing a beautiful young man rather than a hideous wretch.

He doesn’t want to be bad. But he doesn’t have the first clue about how to live any differently than he’s been.

At some point – he doesn’t know if it’s days or weeks – somebody comes in and forces him to get up. Forces him to eat something and drink water. He doesn’t know who it is. Doesn’t remember. Doesn’t care. At least someone thought it was worth the effort to make sure he stayed alive.

At some point, he crawls out from beneath his blanket and sits at the vanity. Fingers play with his hair. It’s limp. He feels tired just thinking of all the effort it’s going to be to make himself look pretty.

At some point, he washes his hair. It’s hard to do it without being seen. He remembers sneaking out in the middle of the night and doing it. Nobody else was around.

At some point, he curls his hair and flicks cosmetic brushes over his face again. It feels unfamiliar. Like he doesn’t remember how. Like he shouldn’t even be doing it.

At some point, he picks up one of the mirror parts and looks at himself and he looks beautiful. The way he looked before.

It doesn’t feel right. There’s no spark of confidence or blaze of pride.

Even when he’s pretty, he’s still ugly.

He hates it. He hates himself. It stings to look in the mirror and see such a beautiful face and know it’s a lie.

He doesn’t know what to do differently.

anonymous asked:

What's your dream?

I wanna marry a beautiful girl/guy with the sweetest personality and travel the world together! I’d take so many pictures of them that they’d get tired of it and they’d draw me whenever they got the opportunity and I’d say I hated it because I thought it was creepy, but I secretly love it.
I’ve always wanted to marry an artist? Idk why. I think it’s just because every artist I’ve ever met has this beautiful outlook on things and could make a shitty world look beautiful with a little bit of paint. And of course I wanna be a photographer.
I basically have my whole life planned 😂😂 don’t judge me lol

today one of my students said “Ms ifuckinloveplants, it feels like you’re always like happyyy and positive, you never feel sad. as if everything in your life is sweet and like all this pollyanna stuff. you like plants and so on, as if you’re always on the bright side. it’s as if you’ve never fallen in love, as if you never felt pain….” and all throughout I’m shaking my head and smiling in disbelief. like really?? I thought I must be quite good at acting if it really looks like this on the outside. you have no clue, child:))

devilsfool  asked:

send √ for a long-winded confession text

Text Meme

[text] I know it’s early morning but I can’t stop thinking.

[text] I lied. I lied to you. Last week when you asked if I was uncomfortable with you staying with David and I said no. I am.  You are not the same with him as you are with me. You are reckless and always seeking to prove him wrong somehow. I don’t dislike him, in fact, I check in with him regularly about you, it’s just that I worry about you. I worry about you more than you can imagine. I want to keep you to myself and hide you away from the world. Whenever you are away from me you always get into some sort of trouble. It sounds selfish, I know. That’s why I didn’t say anything before. But it’s true! Please just don’t do anything stupid while we are apart. 

@embracethewincest IDK who i’m actually pulling to win in this series lol!!!! It’s like good guys vs good guys (minus gurriel…what a shitty racist thing he did). 

I thought I’d be all for LA Dodgers because they’re my second favorite NL team (first is obviously my NY Mets). 

But, man I love ALTUVE. What a great backstory for him and what a season. Such a great heart. 

However, I also always loved Kershaw…and Curtis Granderson, the nicest guy in the game, should get a ring before he retires…. 

I’ve been a Michael Jackson fan since I was 11. That was during the worst time of Michael’s life and I’ll admit, I was a bratty kid who made fun of him like everyone else. But, I found my moms old tapes, her copy of Moonwalker, and watched his videos on tv and absolutely fell madly in love with him. I read that book cover to cover several times, I read it so much that the spine of it broke and half the pages came out. Once, my mother got it from my room and put it somewhere different and I couldn’t find it. I literally sobbed so loud my parents thought I was dying (lol) but I was too shy to admit why I was upset. I still have that copy of the book, and a new one that’s much easier to read because it’s not broken.

My fandom strengthened and weakened over the years, but he was always my fav no matter what. I remember the locker number to my freshman locker simply because it was locker 58 lol.

I remember the day he died so clearly, I was out with a shitty boyfriend at 16, when I still pretended to like boys, and one of his friends came up and causally said “Michael Jackson died.” My world went silent, I didn’t hear what anyone else said for like 20 minutes. My heart felt cold and heavy, and everything seemed like it was in slow motion. Michael was gone, and I couldn’t grasp it. I started crying once we were headed home, boyfriend seriously couldn’t understand why and actually became jealous because I was upset over another man (he was a real douche). I laid in bed that night and just looked at the ceiling, not wanting to believe it. And I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch the funeral. Never have. I don’t know if I ever can. It’s just too much.

Fast forward to 3 years ago. My love for Michael had faltered over the years, I mean I still loved him and was a fan, but I was not like I am today. Until one night I watched the Jackson’s movie and I could feel it starting up again. I then had a dream he was in my room, and he hugged me. He was so warm and comforting and that’s what I needed at the time more than anything. At that time I was depressed, full of anxiety, and in a job I hated. When I stared listening to his music daily again I started to feel better. I had the courage to seek help for my depression, quit that horrid job, and enroll back into college. Since then I’ve done well in college and have traveled to two different countries. Without Michael’s encouraging music I don’t think I would have been able to do all of that. Keep the Faith is still my go to song when I need some encouragement.

I hope you’re happy in heaven Michael, the horrible things the tabloids sadly continue to say can’t hurt you there. Your children are beautiful, smart, and they have your caring heart. We all miss you and you’ll always be in our hearts.

2

I think it’s important that the best role model anyone can be is just to be themselves - that’s the coolest thing you can be - and not give a shit what anyone else would say about you because it really doesn’t matter. Everyone’s always going to talk shit, no matter who you are, so as long as you stay true to yourself then that’s the coolest thing in the world.  That’s the only thing i would preach.  Don’t be anything like me ! Just be yourself. (insp.)