lol middle ages

  • Tumblr: lol @ Middle age white women screaming at cashiers. Don't they know thats cruel and it can't change anything anyway!? I would never treat someone like that.
  • Also Tumblr: *screams at content creators via twitter when their ship doesn't become cannon*

Okay so maybe the reason I can’t actually get a real life girlfriend is because all I do is obsess over middle aged actresses/fictional characters ???

How TDA characters text
  • Emma: She punctuates unnecessary emojis 🏜💽💡🔫💎 at the end of her sentences 🔪🔪🛒 but she uses 💕❣️💜💝 a ginormous amount of hearts when she's texting Jules 💚💚💙💖
  • Julian: Doesn't see the point of emojis, uses proper grammar and punctuation whilst texting everyone.
  • Cristina: She goes old fashioned with :) and <3 when she texts. With Mark, Kieran and Emma she'll get a bit wilder with ;D and :').
  • Mark: Constntly texts typos adn it pisssrs off EVRYONE.
  • Kieran: doesn't use capital letters or punctuation he just types long massive sentences with no breaks whatsoever
  • Diego: Uses odd capital Letters at Random points In sentences. turns Out perfect diego Isn't so perfect After all.
  • Jaime: Uses punctuation,,,, several times!!! For emphasis???
  • Diana: Same as Jules, except she uses the occasional <3 when texting Gwyn. ;).
  • Gwyn: Doesn't. Just receives texts and doesn't respond. Only texts Diana back.
  • Ty: He rarely texts, but when he does, he types with precision and his use of vocabulary and grammar is excellent, better than Julian and Diana by far. When he texts Kit he usually slips a couple of ❤️'s in.
  • Livvy: TEXTS ALL CAPS. EXCITED EASILY. USES LOL! LIKE A MIDDLE AGED MUM.
  • Kit: Uses ngl, lmao, tbh, lol, imo and literally every other acronym. Nvr txts a whle wrd.
  • Dru: Jules wouldn't let her get a phone >:(
  • BONUS:
  • Zara: Uses full stops excessively. Just to be petty.
So...

my mom hung Kim Seokjin’s selca on her office wall. Apparently she wanted to see her bias while she’s at work. She likes to claim that he’s her long lost, beautiful son. 

Sex Workers: Don't let a Poor Man tear you Down

I just had a “client” call to inquire about my rates, and then tell me I didn’t have “the type of body” for my rates while trying to tell me he still wanted to fuck me to fulfill his fantasies in the future. At first I started letting my neurotic insecurities take over, started noticing the extra pound I gained, examining breakouts from weeks ago, things that he doesn’t even know or see.

Then I got some sense back into me, and reverse searched his number.

Research Stalking: ON

LOL, it’s a bald, middle aged, Hispanic guy living in the hood projects of Los Angeles with 2-3 kids from different baby mama’s. The rusting bucket car in his profile is worth less than my hourly rate.

I sent back “My especially positive reviews online are good indicators that I clearly have an upscale clientele base that deem my figure "worthy”. Unfortunately for you, I only cater to a very selective caliber of men who are successful in life. I’m sorry to hear that you certainly don’t qualify to be part of the lifestyle I cater to. It’s one thing to be poor, it’s another to be bitter about it. I wish you luck in your search for a girl that you MIGHT be able to afford, and who you won’t feel so threatened by simply because women are out of your reach. There’s no need to discuss a future meeting because I’m only interested in successful men with class. Please be aware any messages or calls you send back will be lost in the abyss of blocked numbers. Have a good day.“.

There’s been wealthy men who’ve insulted me but few. In my experience, nobody is as vindictive and degrading as an unsuccessful man after hearing rates or allowances he can’t afford. Whatever he says to tear you down (criticizing weight, curve sizes, facial features, age, etc) is done so HE feels better because he can’t attain what other men he’s jealous of, can. It’s backtracking cause he doesn’t want to admit he wants something he can’t have.

(This is of course, for the ladies that don’t "bait and switch” or catfish POTS or clients.) It’s not unreasonable for a man to say your rates are way too high if you’re falsely advertising something or someone you’re not.

Moral of the story to all SW: If he’s called/texted/reached out to you in an attempt to set up a meeting or arrangement, you’re obviously attractive enough. You are something that he wanted but can’t admit simply because he can’t afford you. It doesn’t matter what your rate is, whether it’s lower or higher than the average; he reached out in hopes of meeting you.

Don’t let a poor man tell you you’re worth less because of his own empty pockets.

Why did your lot hate women so much?

Like I’m currently taking a course on Southeast Asian Culture and History, with some focus on the Philippines, my motherland. And before the coming of the Spaniards in 1521, the situation in the Philippines was as close to utopia imaginable.

Whilst women in European Middle Ages were being barred from inheriting, from receiving respect, from literacy, in the Philippines people (1) traced their lineage from both mother and father; (2) received equal inheritance regardless of gender and birth order; (3) were not aware of the concepts of virginity and chastity, hence women being as active in courtship and sexual relationships as the men; (4) had long hair and pierced ears regardless of gender; (5) had only a single pronoun; (6) had only a single word for husband and wife; (7) covered only their genitals because they thought that the body is a work of art and meant to be seen, but genitals are to be protected because they’re a source of power; (8) had a very different way of viewing power: it’s about balance, not dominance and violence; (9) viewed menstruation as an excess of power of the women; (10) had the men come live in the house of their new wives; (11) had the men or his family pay the bride price before marriage, which the woman will keep for the rest of her life; (12) allowed both men and women to practice divorce; (13) had women in charge of the money, etc.

And then the Spaniards came, with their new religion, and beheld the natives. The Spaniards were appalled by all these cultural differences. They burned the natives’ records, histories, written literature, to “save” these “uncivilized” “savages.”

But today, even now that preoccupations on virginity are present, rape is still an unspeakably heinous crime, right up there with murder. And when a man commits violence against a woman, he is regarded as less than a human, almost an animal but infinitely beneath even an animal.

When I first studied my readings I cried in anger.

Listen. At least two of my great-grandparents were Spanish themselves, so I have this conflicted feeling of owing my very existence to circumstances in history, but there’s also this anger and resentment. (Similarly mixed-race post-colonial people, I’d appreciate it if you share how you deal with this.)

And it’s a big part of why I love Dornish nationalism and resistance so much (and the North’s, to an extent). Dorne is almost exactly like pre-colonial Philippines except that they were victorious against the conquerors, and I revel in that in fantasy literature.

And so the next time I see “But that’s how it was in the Middle Ages,” in connection to criticisms of sexism and misogyny in fantasy literature (there can be dragons but there can be no different cultures re: women across continents apparently), I’ll be like, “lol, YOUR middle ages, my pal. YOUR history.”

Realistic Handsome Jack!
I interpreted his mask as pretty life-like, because it moves so well with his face in the game (and a lot of people didn’t even realize he wore a mask for a while)…. But I still wanted it to look like his mask. I didn’t think the AI version would do him justice, so here’s the real one!

road trip au

okay but this Queer Squad road trip au from my edit needed some important headcanons so:

  • The idea of a road trip across the country at first stems at the beginning of their senior year of college. They’re all 22 and working retail jobs just to get by, so when Magnus suggests the idea, they all work together and to save up the money from their paychecks during the year so they can go after their graduation. They all keep the money in safes and glass jars with duct tape labels and pull from their savings at the bank to make it happen.
  • Alec and Aline were primarily in charge of figuring out the routes they take - where they start at, which stops they’ll make first, where they go, and booking rooms at hotels in the cities they’ll stay longest at.
  • The trip happens like three weeks after their college graduation. Magnus rents a car, Helen buys a ton of healthy fruits and snacks (and then the not-so-healthy kind) and beauty products they’ll need like shampoos, and Aline goes it old school by bringing along a map instead of a GPS - because, duh, if they get lost (which she insisted they wouldn’t, because she was “really great” with directions and therefore that’s why she was responsible) that would just be all apart of the adventure and would be a great story to tell when they all arrived back home.
  • Alec doesn’t think it’s a good idea. It isn’t, because they get lost for at least an hour trying to get Chicago because Aline told them to take the wrong exit. Oops.
  • Magnus and Helen are definitely the ones in charge of the music, because they decidedly have the best taste out of the four of them. Aline likes softer music like Alec, but she’s not opposed to what they decide to put on their playlist. Helen likes to sing along to her favourite songs, which everyone likes because she’s got a really nice voice, and Magnus dances and his snapchat story is like 500 seconds long of just silly car-ride videos that he narrates when he isn’t driving and a bashful Alec trying to push away the camera and failing to hide the smile and the way his leg bounces to the music.
  • “Don’t try to hide it Alexander. Have fun, let the music set your soul free!”
  • “Stop being so dramatic Magnus.”
  • Alec ends up falling asleep in the car like, a lot. He’ll recline the seat and squish Aline in the backseat, kick his feet up on the dashboard and cuddle with a blanket - and they all find it kind of weird, because Magnus and Helen always play the music pretty loud, and everyone is engaged in crazy conversation all the time. But somehow he manages to pass out through it all.
  • Helen takes a TON of photos. She’s kind of like one of those moms who want to take pictures of everything and everyone at every available moment and capture everything with her camera hanging around her neck, and that’s probably because she technically is a mom to her siblings.
  • Magnus loves it, because he’s not camera shy at all and he loves being able to look back on the memories, but Aline and Alec sometimes groan and roll their eyes (“Another picture, Helen? Really? Come on!”) because they don’t like being in pictures all that much. So when Helen gets the chance she’ll snap a candid of them and they’re always super humble about it when they find out but secretly really like it. They end up having fun with the squad photos in the end, though.
  • Although he doesn’t like being in pictures all too much, Alec will take a lot and send them to Jace and Isabelle just to rub it in their faces that he’s having a good time traveling without them. He’ll send them texts like “Wish you were here!” and then a follow up of “Just kidding! LOL” (he’s like a middle-aged white suburban mom on Facebook when it comes to texting abbreviations honestly) and everyone will catch him smiling at his phone when Jace sends audio messages calling him an asshole with Isabelle grumbling in the background.
  • Despite teasing his siblings Alec calls them often when they arrive at a new location, just to check in and see if they’re doing okay, but he doesn’t call nearly as much as Helen calls her younger siblings. She’s so used to being in charge of taking care of them after her father dies because she’s the oldest, and making sure that they’re alright that it’s hard for her to let that responsibility go, even if Mark is 21 years old and completely capable. She’ll send them videos and pictures on a regular basis and call them every time they arrive at a new place or every time that they leave.
  • They all take turns driving, but Helen ends up driving the longest out of all of them because she enjoyed it the most.
  • When they’re in Vegas they all get really, really drunk and try their luck at a bunch of casinos. Magnus blows a lot of money gambling but somehow manages to get it all back - he says later that it was all a part of his “plan” because he knew he would win it back and then some, in the end anyway. The other’s aren’t totally sure if they believe him but hey, it’s better than being broke halfway through their trip, so they don’t complain about his endless bragging afterwards. Aline turns out to be surprisingly very good at hustling, too.
  • Alec and Helen end up miserably hungover the next morning and they don’t remember drawing all over each others faces with marker but apparently they did, and Magnus and Aline decide not to tell that they at least get a couple of pictures…after they come down to the buffet for breakfast.
  • They all end up having such a good time with each other over the few months of the road trip that none of them want to go home and face the reality of adulthood. They make plans to globe-trot Europe afterwards (Aline suggests going to Beijing, of course) because they all can’t get enough of traveling, so they spend the next year or so preparing and saving money to make it possible.