I'm really excited to see if you think of the 'bedroom scene' (this sounds so weird) as a good or as a bad thing since people seem to have very different opinions about this moment
(‘bedroom scene’ sounds excellent and I’ll defend that name until death lmao)
OK YOU ASKED FOR IT,,, IT’S LONG BUT I HAVE NO REGRETS :P The way I see it, the scene wasn’t as extreme as most people make it out to be. It wasn’t overwhelmingly positive but it wasn’t drastically negative either. It was… a scene. A shared moment between them that gave us insight about how Lance thinks of Keith and what Keith still needs to work on as a leader.
It beings when Lance comes into the room. He knocks and waits for Keith to acknowledge him but there is not a single doubt in his mind that Keith will allow him into his room. He marches in without hesitation and Keith moves aside, no questions asked. Lance had known that Keith would listen to him.
That’s a huuuuge improvement from s1. S1 Lance would never have considered going to Keith about his problems and s1 Keith would have probably just stared at Lance in confusion, blocking the doorway. Not here though. Keith is happy that Lance visited him. As soon as Lance admits that he wants to talk about something that troubles him, Keith starts smiling.
It’s honestly adorable how happy he is. “Wow, it really must be bothering you if you’re coming to talk to me.” He’s just- he’s so happy, he even made a joke, he was delighted that Lance thought of depending on him when he needed help. We already know how much value Keith places on “bonding” but this was a crucial moment for him; Lance has shown that he supports Keith in the first few episodes of s3 but supporting someone and trusting them with your own troubles are two different things. Lance trusts Keith, he really really does and Keith is finally starting to realize it.
Then Lance says it’s because he is the “team leader” now. Keith’s expression falls.
But here’s the thing. Shiro was already back at that point. And I mean back as in ‘already in his new outfit and out of his room’-back. It makes sense that Lance wouldn’t want to burden him with heavy decisions but this is not a heavy decision (even if Lance might think otherwise hah). If he still thought of Keith the way he had thought of him in s1 he would have gone to Shiro with this.
So why did he choose Keith? Multiple reasons, probably - because he didn’t want to bother Shiro, because Keith has actually seen his skills on the battlefield and is the only ‘battle-leader’ qualified to make a decision, because he knows Keith would listen, because he knows that Keith would never lie to him, because he trusts Keith. Lance is insecure and he doesn’t like to show it, even when he told Coran about his homesickness it was Coran that approached him. Not here though. Lance approaches Keith out of his own free will. Between Keith and Shiro it’s probably easier for Lance to show this side of himself to Keith, someone he sees as distinctly human/reachable (they are “neck to neck”) as opposed to someone levels above him (his “hero”).
Then the whole spiel starts. Keith… at first Keith genuinely doesn’t understand what’s going on. Lance is like “I’ve been doing some math” and Keith is like “lol ok yeah your math is correct”. Then it slowly dawns on him as Lance keeps explaining his reasoning. He follows along until “maybe the best I can do for the team is to step aside”.
By then the importance of the moment has fully sunken in. He understands that Lance is serious about this but he doesn’t understand how he reached that conclusion. He’s like “what are you talking about?!” and when Lance tells him that Keith would want his best soldiers on the front line - excluding himself with that statement - Keith can’t even begin to explain how wrong that is. The thing about these two is that they raaarely have heart-to-hearts and in those they have had it was usually Lance comforting Keith or Keith just… going along with whatever Lance initiates.
But that doesn’t work this time. Lance expects him to take the lead and so Keith does what he always does when he is confronted with emotions like insecurity: tell Lance (or himself) to suck it up and deal with it. He didn’t mean any ill by it, it’s just how Keith usually deals with feelings. He shoves troubles and doubts aside and focuses on what he can do. He lives in the moment, Lance lives in the future. “Stop worrying about who flies what and just focus on your mission. Things will work themselves out” was genuine advice from Keith^^’
[it might also be a failed attempt at offering comfort - Keith doesn’t really believe in things working themselves out, so when he says that he’s basically telling Lance that the team is going to work it out. Which is exactly what happens later, Keith was ready to give up his lion and stay at the castle ship. There is no way Lance could have known that on his own though… and I’m not sure if Keith was even consciously aware of what he was implying with these words :’D]
[flat out rejection to discuss things his friends worry about is not new behavior for him either - he did the same thing back in s2e1 when he Shiro asked him to lead Voltron in case he’s not there anymore. He dismissed Shiro’s concerns with “stop talking about that, nothing is gonna happen to you”. Keith is just plain bad with words, it’s definitely something he needs to work on,,,]
Anyway, Lance’s reaction to Keith’s words is an immediate draw back. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks.” Which is completely understandable, anyone in his situation would have felt as if their worries just got dismissed. And Keith realizes he has fucked up, he calls out to him with a sad expression:
Before making that one “leave the math to Pidge joke”:
It was an attempt to cheer Lance up and Lance recognized the joke for what it was, so he smiled. He smiled because it was a joke and to let Keith know that his efforts are appreciated, but the joke didn’t make the lack of help from before any better or worse. Lance has gotten nothing out of it besides being able to guess that Keith probably cares about him - but he already knew that, otherwise he wouldn’t have approached him in the first place. Keith got out of this that Lance needs support, even if he has not the slightest clue on how to provide it (and he isn’t the type that would go to other people with this issue; not if Lance has approached him privately).
This scene wasn’t a “big klance moment”, it was just one step of many in their relationship. They are developing slowly, from ‘rivals’ to tentative friends. I don’t think that Keith helped Lance much, there is definitely a loooot of langst still coming up thanks to his failure of supporting him here, but I don’t think that he destroyed the fragile foundations of their friendship with this either. Lance might hesitate or choose not to approach him again if he has more self-confidence issues but I doubt that he blames Keith for that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The same way he had his reasons to not approach Hunk, Pidge, Allura or Shiro this time he might have his reasons not to go to Keith next time. That doesn’t mean he values their developing relationship any less :D
This is probably one of my favorite prompt ideas I’ve ever gotten honestly. @mikimiska113 , I love this so much!
Takes place on Dragonstone. More alcohol involved lol
Jon hadn’t known what to expect when Tyrion had invited him to his solar late at night for a ‘serious discussion’ but it hadn’t been a drinking game with him and Grey Worm.
He poured himself another glass, knowing even as he topped it off that he should stop now before he did something he would regret later. But he also knew that he wouldn’t; it was nice, in a way, to just be able to talk freely about nothing of consequence with a couple of friends (at least, he hoped Grey Worm was a friend; it was hard to tell sometimes with the Unsullied commander) without worrying about what would happen on the morrow.
“The last time you lay with someone,” Tyrion said, looking at both of them with eyes that were barely bloodshot, even though he’d drank more wine than both of the others combined. “Lord Snow, you’re first.”
He toyed with the rim of his glass, not looking at either of them. “Several years,” he muttered as he took another long sip.
Tyrion almost spat out his wine. “Several years? I would have supposed the first thing you did once you left the Night’s Watch would be to find a woman to lie with.” Jon noticed he didn’t say anything about how Jon had broken his vows; doubtless he’d already guessed. The Lannister had always seemed to know things without anyone telling him.
“Didn’t find the right woman. I’m still looking.”
“If you wanted to, there are brothels near the harbor-”
He shrugged. “Whores have never been my type.” Not after his own mother had likely been one; he wouldn’t condemn an innocent child to his fate.
“Well, you have more restraint than I do.” Tyrion turned to Grey Worm, who took another sip from his glass. “And what about you, Grey Worm? I’m sure there are other ways you can find pleasure, even without your…parts.”
The soldier nodded, stone faced. “Several days ago.”
This time Tyrion really did spit out his wine. “Did you really? I was expecting it would take at least another month. Was it Missandei?”
Grey Worm nodded again, still expressionless.
“Well, that’s excellent. Congratulations. As for myself…I have to confess, I haven’t lay with anyone since right before I left Meereen. Being the Hand to the Queen is quite time consuming and I haven’t had the time or interest to explore the harbor.” He spoke casually and drank more wine; Jon wondered just how much he was used to drinking, because he was already starting to feel sick.
“She’s quite a woman,” Jon replied. He couldn’t imagine having that job the Dragon Queen was fiercely passionate about the causes she cared about, but also fiery and impulsive. She may not have been her father, but many of her Targaryen traits were readily apparent.
“That she is. Her heart is in the right place…she just isn’t always certain how to go about accomplishing her goals. Very like someone else I know.”
Jon reddened. “She’s quite determined.”
“She wouldn’t have gotten very far if she’d been anything less. Certainly not to the place she is now. Grey Worm, what do you think we should do about Cersei Lannister?”
“I am not strong at diplomacy, only at battle. We could overrun the city easily, within a day…but the Queen will not, because she does not wish to hurt innocents. But we are running out of choices; the longer we allow the Mad Queen to rally her forces the more likely that she will attack in a way that we will have trouble repelling.”
“You’re a ray of sunshine, aren’t you?” Grey Worm didn’t answer. “What would you do, Jon Snow, if you were in our position?”
Jon shrugged. “I have no place-”
“Hypothetically. The Queen seems to value your counsel; you stopped her from burning the Red Keep to the ground.”
“It doesn’t matter what I say, what any of us do, if we don’t confront the threat to the North.”
“I don’t know much about the White Walkers, but I’m beginning to think that you bring them up whenever you don’t want to talk about something.”
Tyrion smirked, refilling his glass and Jon’s without being asked. “You’re not as clever as you believe you are, Lord Snow. Not so good at hiding your emotions. Or maybe I’m just used to seeing people in love-God knows my siblings were always giving each other eyes, even when we were growing up. I know what a man looks like when he’s undressing a woman with his eyes.”
Jon felt the back of his neck redden. “I did nothing of the sort.”
“He did, didn’t he Grey Worm?”
Jon silently pleaded with Grey Worm, hoping he could find an ally, but the soldier only looked slightly more interested. “He watches the Queen whenever he believes she’s not looking.”
“That’s not true-” Jon protested.
“Grey Worm is a skilled soldier of the most highly disciplined army in the known world. Forgive me if I believe him more than I believe you. New round: we’ll ask you a question and you give us an answer. If we think you’re lying, you have to take another drink.”
He already knew he’d feel ill in the morning. “I shouldn’t-”
“A drink or two won’t hurt you. Trust me. I would know.”
Jon sighed, already knowing the night wouldn’t end any other way. “Fine. But just a couple of questions.”
“Do you love our queen?”
Tyrion rolled his eyes. “You’ll have to try harder than that. Take a drink.” Grey Worm looked amused as he nodded, and his eyes almost looked like they were laughing as Jon took another drink. “Do you want to kiss her?”
“Take a drink. You’re a terrible liar-which is the only reason why I even believe in these White Walkers you’re so dead set on.”
He could feel the alcohol taking effect and briefly Jon wondered whether this had been Tyrion’s intention all along, to ascertain to how deep his feelings for Dany went. “She’s…not what I expected.”
“If it’s any comfort, she loves you too. She’s never looked at anyone the way she looks at you. It would be sweet perhaps, if it weren’t so inconvenient.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. In a few days I’ll be gone and she’ll never have to deal with me again.”
“Do you really think she wants that?” Tyrion refilled his glass, opening another bottle of wine. “I’ve been thinking about this and…I may have found a solution.”
This should be good. “And what kind of solution were you thinking of?”
It was Jon’s turn to choke on his drink. “What?”
“It makes perfect sense; you’ll both have to marry at some point, and if I know my history correctly the Starks don’t have the same propensity for marrying siblings that the Targaryens do. You’ll both keep your crowns and combine your forces.”
For just a second he allowed himself to entertain the idea. “I don’t-”
Tyrion shrugged. “It’s just a suggestion. But it may give you what you’re looking for-and a little more besides.”
“That’s not a decision I can make now, without consulting my advisors.”
“Will you have the time to talk to them?”
He took another drink. Using my own words against me? Clever. He forced himself to stand, even as the ceiling swung in ever widening circles around him. “This has been a lovely evening, gentlemen, but I’m afraid I have to go.”
“Are you sure? I still have another bottle-”
To Jon’s surprise, Grey Worm stood up as well-and if he was drunk, he didn’t show it. “I should go as well. Thank you, Lord Tyrion.”
Jon managed to leave the room without staggering too much-but once the door had safely closed behind them his legs almost gave out from under him and he found himself gripping Grey Worm’s shoulder until he caught his balance.
The Unsullied looked more surprised than upset. “Are you sure you’re all right, Lord Snow?”
“For the moment.” He knew he wouldn’t be in the morning, but that was still a long time away. “Good night.”
“Good night.” Grey Worm nodded to him once and walked away, his posture meticulously straight.
Jon got lost on the way to his chambers and found himself in a part of the castle he didn’t recognize at all. He didn’t realize how late it was; the corridors were deserted and all of the servants had gone home for the night, so there was no one that he could have asked for help even if he’d wanted to.
Thankfully, that also meant there was no one around to see him trying not to stagger around drunkenly and failing miserably.
Finally he reached the door to his room and opened it carefully. He was practically ready to fall into bed; his shoes were halfway off and he was undoing the first few buttons on his shirt when he closed the door behind him and realized that his bedroom had changed-and he wasn’t alone.
The room was dominated by a heavy wooden bed, covered in black and red sheets. A desk rested against one wall, and a table under the window held a miniature version of the armies map in the war room. At least, that was what he could make out in the darkness-until there was a rustling from the bed and someone lit a candle, throwing the face of the Dragon Queen into shadow. She was so confused that Jon almost found it funny. “Lord Snow?”
“Your Grace? What are you doing in my chambers?”
She didn’t look upset-just very, very confused. “These aren’t your chambers, Lord Snow. They’re on the other side of the castle.” Ever so slowly, she got to her feet. Her hair was loose and flowing around her shoulders and she wore a nightgown that seemed lighter than air; she reminded him of one of the wood spirits Old Nan had always told stories about, made of air and sunlight and impossible for mortal men to touch. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Must have just gotten turned around, that’s all.” He turned towards the door-and practically tripped over her boots, which seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.
She rushed to his side and grabbed his arm, as if to keep him from falling (she was stronger than she looked). “Are you drunk?”
She rolled her eyes. “I can smell the wine on your breath.”
“It was only a glass or two.”
She shook her head. “Believe me, if you’d only had a glass or two you’d already be in your own bed, asleep-”
“Lord Tyrion said I should marry you.” He didn’t know why the words came out. They just did, and there was nothing he could do to stop them.
For a moment, Dany looked at him like he was out of his mind entirely. “He said what?”
“It’s a strategic match; the North still has their king, and you have all of the Seven Kingdoms.”
“All right…well, what do you think about it?”
“I don’t know.” He knew that what he was thinking at the moment was that he wanted to tear off her nightdress, but he didn’t think she’d appreciate that. “I should speak to Davos about it first.”
“That’s a good idea-and perhaps you should wait until you’re sober.” She turned to go to bed and he knew, rationally, that he should leave-he’d already made a big enough fool of himself for one night.
But the words came out anyway. “You’re very beautiful.”
She stopped in her tracks and turned back to him. Her expression was inscrutable-and he was fairly sure it wasn’t just because of the wine. “I…thank you.” She sounded uncertain, almost worried, as if it had been the last thing she was expecting him to say.
The alcohol dulled his senses and made him bold. He took a step forward before he could think better of it, before he could talk himself down from it, easily closing the distance between them. She looked at him carefully, questioningly-and he kissed her before he could think better of it, before the alcohol would wear off enough for him to realize what a very bad thing this was and how much he would regret it later.
Kissing her was everything he’d thought it would be and more, the few times he’d allowed himself to imagine it. Her mouth was soft and warm and tasted of salt air and open sea, and a distant smoky and charred scent that he could only imagine was dragonfire. Their lips moved together and he’d found they had moved closer together as well until there was no space between them at all and he brought his hand up to cup her cheek, stroking her fair skin.
When she stepped away, his head was whirling-but reality came back to him in a sudden, savage rush.
Neither of them knew what to say, and the distance that had once seemed nonexistent now seemed impassable. Her eyes were guarded, her expression unreadable.
“I’m sorry, your Grace. Good night.” He left the room with as much composure as he could muster and ran like hell as soon as the door closed behind him, as if he could somehow outrun the weight of his mistake-only to double back, open the door, and say (as if to seal his fate) “I love you.”
“That must have been some heavy wine last night, Lord Snow.”
There was a joking tone in the Queen’s voice and he couldn’t understand why. Yes, he’d been drinking the night before…but he hadn’t thought it was that obvious. He’d had a wicked hangover and had vomited twice in the early morning, but now he was feeling if not completely normal then at least halfway there. “Really? What gave it away?”
Her eyes dimmed. He’d never really seen the light leave someone’s eyes, had never really known what that expression meant…but he did now. “You don’t remember,” she said coldly, almost imperiously, “coming into my chambers at quite an ungodly hour insisting they were your own? And then kissing me?”
He went cold all over. That couldn’t be right. First of all, he would never do something like that and never put himself in such a position. And he would remember…that if he’d actually done it.
But the more he thought about it, the more he scoured his memory, the more he thought he remembered it-a room lit only by a single candle, her cheek in his hand, her lips on his, and the look in her eyes when he’d left the room, as if he’d finally managed to do something that surprised her. Seven hells. “Your Grace, I’m very sorry about any impropriety-”
“Don’t apologize.” She looked almost amused, even though he wasn’t amused in the slightest. Gods, this could ruin him. “You were quite drunk. No one else needs to know, as far as I can tell. An honest mistake. Although, it was quite enjoyable.” She walked back to break her fast with Missandei, and Jon saw the Queen’s closest advisor sneak a glance at him as if to make sure he was behaving himself. If only you knew.
Seven hells, Jon. He attacked his plate of roast sausage in silence.
He only looked up once to see Tyrion looking at him from the other side of the table. And he could have sworn he was smiling, as if he somehow knew all about what had transpired the night before.
Taeil realizes he’s in love with you when he chokes on an ice cube and you save his life. Lol I’m kidding. Maybe. Not really. Anyways. I feel like it’d be something along that line though, Taeil realizes he cares about you far more than normal when he’s realized you read each other so well. Being more of a quiet guy, I almost call Taeil the KSoo of NCT, he’s quiet and reserved, but open and fun with his best buddies. You have to be his clique to really understand him. When you became best friends, he realized he loved you, not romantically, but he appreciated you so much for taking the time to be his friend. And after a while, he’s come to realize he cares so much about you, that he loved you before, but he’s in love with you now. I honestly think he’d keep it to himself, unless he had some knowledge that you liked him back, with you being best friends, he didn’t want to lose that, so he’d bury his feelings unless he knew for sure they were returned.
Ah our big dumb JoJo impersonator, how I love thee. He’s lowkey a big flirt, and besides that, he’s our resident hype man, so you know your friendship would be the most supportive, positive, and a lil bit of sexual tension naturally. But Johnny realizes he’s too far gone in the feels, after one too many compliments from you, and you know how blushy and giggly he gets from compliments, that even though you’re kind of embarrassing the hell out of him, he never wants you to stop talking about him. A moment he realizes that you speaking so highly of him, has a complete different affect on him, than when others compliment him, makes him reflect on why. Obviously you’re a close friend, your words outweigh strangers’ opinions, but still, there’s something more…When it actually hits him that holy fuck I love you, Johnny is so damn giddy and smiley on the spot that he can’t even hide it from you. “What’s got you so smiley all of a sudden?” “Just realized I love you, that’s all.”
Taeyong would be so completely fucked. He’s always been super lovey to his best friend, obviously, he loves them in a non-romantic way first. Plus he’s such a mom. So affection between you and him isn’t uncommon at all. It sort of smacks him in the face in a second, Taeyong’s having fun teaching you how to cook. Seeing you concentrate so hard, hanging off his every word, he can’t help but think “they’re so cute, help me”. As soon as Taeyong realizes what he’s just thought, a warm feeling towards you he’s never felt before, he freezes up. He’s so caught off guard, unable to understand why he’s suddenly feeling this way towards his best friend, Taeyong shuts down. A moment ago, he was laughing loudly and making fun of how much salt you were adding, and now he’s lost in his mind, and so quiet it’s like you’re alone, and you have no idea what’s happened that made him this way so fast. It’s going to be an awkward silence moment, and a long thinking session later on Taeyong’s part for him to figure out what he’s going to do about this.
Whether his confidence is all a mask, or not, you know damn well Yuta would be a little shit with his best friend. And there’s literally no boundaries so trying to put a line where friend activities and relationship activities meet or cross or stop is pretty much impossible. He hangs all over you, jokes about you being his s/o to keep weird people away from you, he’s basically your boyfriend without you seeing his dick already, and you’re just friends. So him actually realizing his feelings for you is way more difficult since what friends do and don’t do blurs so much in your relationship. The only way I can describe Yuta’s reaction with understanding his feelings and realizing he likes you more than he should is just summed up by: “…well fuck.”
Doyoung is pretty…blunt, so to say, lol. Just like Yuta, I don’t think he’d have any problem face forward telling you that he loves you more than a friend. Plus he’d realize his feelings have shifted right away, there wasn’t really a moment or anything that happened that make Doyoung think about you, just one day he looks at you and is like, “I feel different when I see you than I did before….hmmm.” I swear he’d just throw it at you like it really was nothing. “I love you. “I know that you dolt, I love you too.” “No, I love you.” “Oh.” “Yeah. Now pass the popcorn.”
Aw can you imagine that pretty Ten smile when he gets all giddy and happy that he’s realized he’s head over heels for you? Ten’s so cute. Ten would honestly hide it, but he’s such a dummy that he doesn’t realize his efforts to bury his emotions is very noticeable. I mean, the poor boy can’t handle looking at a butt, how is he supposed to handle realizing he’s in love with, and is presumably attracted to, his best friend? He gets that serious face and avoids eye contact after it’s hit him and you’re like, “okay what the fuck happened why won’t you look at me? did yuta put something on my face again? istg if he drew another dic-” and Ten’s too much of a bub and can’t handle having to hold back his affections with you to try and hide his feelings that he just completely spills and then almost has a heart attack when he’s done and he’s like, “well no taking it back now f u c k” and you just end up looking at him like, “that’s it? you’ve been ignoring me…because you love me? that’s so stupid let’s go get ice cream you big dummy.”
Okay Jaehyun is going to be the most level headed and calm one of the boys, trust me on this. His weird ass skills on Law of the Jungle and shit, he’s a man and knows what’s up and it’s not the end of the world so let’s all just c h i l l o u t. He realizes it fairly easily, it’s not hard to miss when you figure out ‘when the fuck did I start wanting to kiss you??? when did that happen?????? oh well. just gonna roll with it then’. His weird butt probably realizes it at 2am for no reason and then the dud texts you. “hey just letting you know i love you. like love love. we still on for brunch tomorrow or nah?’ and go to bed.
Ugh my baby. Y’all laugh at me for babying Mark but if you knew me, you’d know WW is my actual baby. No idea why I do it. He’s my child. Anyways. WinWin would be so fcking shy and quiet about it. He’d probably already had a crush on you when you met, and just put it on the back burner because who needs a relationship and you’re fun anyways so hey let’s be friends! So he’s already on a slippery slope. WinWin isn’t…reserved. He’s part of the savage squad but he’s still way more quiet than the others, but that’s mostly language barrier and thankfully that’s breaking now a days and we can see WinWin being happier and more comfortable. Anyways, WW would probably realize he loves you at some late night get together or something, and the whole gang is there and yeah you’re his best friend but he’d think you’d choose to have fun with the group, but when you end up just chilling in the back with him, content with sitting back and just enjoying the insanity, he gives you this look like, ‘you’d really rather sit here than have fun with them? just because i’m here? fuck i love you….wait a minute.’ And you know he’d ask Taeyong wtf is happening and what to do. So he’d probably end up keeping it to himself for so long until Taeyong and the gang have hyped him up enough that he confesses.
Oh the poor shy baby. Can you imagine the blushing wow. It finally occurs to our fully capable Mark, when he’s faced with thinking about a life without you. He’s probably just showed you the new choreo for a comeback, and gets all blushy and shy when you’re all hyped and clapping and praising him, and a thought occurs to him, “what if you’re not always here? what if they leave? or I leave?”. It’s a moment where he’s realized he never wants to be away from you, and that ends up making him think of why he feels that way. “Well of course I love them, they’re my best friend but…is that love bleeding in to something else?” He’d be so quiet and reserved about it. Mark would prob end up confessing to one of his brothers, and they’d just tell him to spill his guts. So after like a week of trying to figure his feelings out, he’ll come clean to you, and just hopes you don’t reject him, and prays this doesn’t ruin your friendship forever.
Being one of the babies, he’s definitely going to be the more flustered one of the group when he’s realized he’s legit head over heels for his best friend. It takes Channie quite a while longer to actually realize what’s going on, it’s not a split moment where he’s like, ‘crap…i love love them.’, more he’s started to actually notice he’s being more cutesy towards you for no reason, and he wants to cuddle you more, and an extremely fluffy dream to make him realize. Haechan’s one that’ll definitely sit on it for a while, and question himself over it. “Yeah I think they’re cute but like…they’re my friend. Of course they’re cute! It’s not weird that I think they’re cute! But why did I have all those date dreams…people don’t have fluffy dream dates with their bffs….do they?” I so feel like he’ll have to ask for a second opinion, and of course, you’re his bestie soooo. “Listen, so I keep having these dreams and idk what they mean.” “You doorknob, you freakin love me. That’s lame lol.”
I've just started getting into block b and I was wondering if you could help me get to know them/their personalities☺️ so far I know Zico, taeil, p.o and ukwon, i still need to YouTube them tho I feel like I'm gonna be in deep rip lol
Hi, hello and enjoy, cause it’s about to get crazy in here
Ah, it’s been a while since I’ve gone through the Block B fever them so excuse if I mess up on some points, I’m rolling on 2013 knowledge ^^’
ZICO - Woo Jiho
Since he’s one of the ones you know, I don’t think I will write much and most of it you will probably know.
A talented lyricist and rapper who is inspired by other successful artists such as G-Dragon
He is the blunt and straight to the point
leader who works really hard to achieve success
Loves each one of his members, but is the closest with Kyung
He actually went to school with Kyung and they were best friends back then
He is fun and does not care about his image that much. He wants to be known as a funny guy who just happens to be dead serious about music
He can point out a mistake and pick a fight if something goes wrong
He does not put on a fake act to seem friendly around people he dislikes, but he wouldn’t be an ass about it either, pretty mature if you ask me
Generation of Miracles (- Kuroko + Kagami) reacting to meeting Hanamiya and being reluctant at introducing their s/o 'cause he's a jerk, but Hanamiya starts to act all nice toward them 'cause they think they're cute. And in the end the s/o comments "I don't see why you speak so badly of that guy, he seems nice!". (Poor guys, lol!)
Long time no see! How has everyone been :)?
Kise - Kise’s eyes roll impossibly back as he watches you laugh at something Hanamiya says. He was hoping the meeting would just be a quick hello and goodbye, but no, apparently Hanamiya was hilarious. Really, really damn hilarious. Kise glares at his newly declared rival while he induces you in another laughing fit.
After a short 5 minutes, Kise’s at his limit. He interrupts Hanamiya’s next sentence with an obnoxious fake laugh. “Okay, well, we’d love to stay but we’ve got a date to go on, right ____-cchi?”
Kise’s annoyance grows even deeper upon seeing you and Hanamiya share an amused look at his weird behaviour. You quickly wave bye to Hanamiya as your boyfriend pulls you away. He gives you a wink in return and your face flushes. You turn to Kise and talk him directly for the first time in a while.
“I know you talk pretty badly about him, but I actually think tha-,”
“Don’t even start”.
Akashi - If Akashi had it his way, he’d protect his sweet girlfriend from ever having to meet Hanamiya. This was virtually impossible in his current situation, where Rakuzan and Kirisaki Daichi were about to have their first match against each other. Akashi stepped away from you for just a moment, leaving a perfect opening for Kirisaki’s captain to slither in.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting Rakuzan’s lovely manager,” he introduced himself in a overly sweet tone. His acting worked, and you found yourself fairly flustered at his words. Hanamiya kept up his facade very well, convincing you that he was perfectly nice, despite what you’ve heard about him.
The conversation was cut short when Akashi appeared behind you, grabbing your hand gently and leading you away, but not without a polite smile towards Hanamiya. You give Hanamiya an apologetic look, who responds with a playful smile and a wink.
“Good luck to you and your team!” you call out.
“Thanks cutie, we’ll talk more after the game!” he responds.
Akashi stops in his tracks. He takes a deep breath for composure and clenches his fist tightly.
“I promise you, luck can’t save him now…”
Murasakibara - Hanamiya didn’t have the physical advantage over Murasakibara, but having no shame in blatantly hitting on his girlfriend right in front of him, he had other advantages. His ability to put on a fake charm, for one. The two of you were hitting it off fairly well, until Murasakibara cuts in and scares Hanamiya off.
“Atsushi, that wasn’t very nice,” you begin.
“I’m not the one who isn’t nice,” he says defensively. “And you shouldn’t like mean people, because if they hurt you, I’d have to crush them”.
Aomine - Aomine was too lazy to intervene on you and Hanamiya’s conversation, which was getting flirtier by the moment. Hanamiya was getting dangerously close to you, and usually, this would be Aomine’s cue to jump in, as his blood began to boil with anger, but instead he turned away from the sight of Hanamiya moving in, and came up with a new plan.
He decided he would annoy you instead. As expected, you eventually came running up behind him.
“Why’d you just leave like that?” you ask.
He shrugged. “I don’t know, ask your new boyfriend maybe?”
You roll your eyes, reaching to hold his hand, which he swiftly dodges. “I don’t think your new boyfriend would like that very much,” he says. You continue to follow him like a puppy, begging for attention, and Aomine sees his plan worked nicely.
Kagami - You wave bye to Hanamiya as he jogs back over to his side of the court. You walk back over to your boyfriend, who made sure to keep an eye on the two of you, mostly him, as you talked.
The way Kagami talked about him, you thought he would be completely awful, but you couldn’t help but find him nice. You approach Kagami, ready to tell him about your new friend.
“And he said he really loves playing basketball with you. Isn’t he nice? I like him!” you gush.
Kagami is completely baffled by this. “Y-you what? What do you mean like him?! That’s a joke right? No way you’re serious, haven’t I told you what he’s done?!”
Unintentionally, you set Kagami off on a never ending rant about Hanamiya, where he made sure to recount the every detail of his evil schemes.
Midorima - Midorima shifts awkwardly as he stands there, listening to you and Hanamiya’s conversation. Unlucky for him, you two just happened to run into Hanamiya on the street. He feels out of place, like he’s the third wheel between the three of you. Hanamiya feeds off your laughter, which you’re clearly happy to give. At every slight break in the conversation, Midorima tries speaking up, but gets strategically cut off by Hanamiya every time.
Soon enough, Midorima reaches his limit, and takes it upon himself to put an end to the conversation. “____, we have some place to be. We’re going now,” he says firmly. He begins walking away on his own, trusting that you’ll follow. And you do, but not before Hanamiya slips his number in your handbag for your to find later.
Just as you were about to comment on how nice Hanamiya was, Midorima speaks up.
“His sign is ranked first today. That’s the only reason he was able to convince you that he was a nice person” Midorima scoffs.
“Aww, Shin-chan, you’re not jealous are you?” you tease.
He doesn’t dignify your question with a verbal response, which gives you the answer anyway.
For the honesty hour thing: So, how did you fall in love with Sakuya, and want attracts you to his character? Im interested in this!
Lol girl did I ever tell you that I love you?
It took me awhile to answer this because I needed to collect my thoughts about it. AHAHA TAKE A SEAT EVERYONE. Okay gosh where to begin….. THIS IS LIKE THE INTERVIEW I WAS WAITING FOR. HA.
Well, as some people know I wasn’t extremely fond of Sakuya when I first started Servamp about….7-8 months ago? I didn’t hate him or anything, just didn’t really care for him at first. (but that kinda goes for quite a bit of characters really, but everyone grows on me at some point. ^^)
I think what really got to me was after learning about his past and how it affected his motives, relationships and current situation in the series.
So many aspects about his characters just make so much sense but I feel like are just kinda looked over……. probably cause his backstory was kinda glazed over real quick, in my opinion at least. (Like why dammit? I have so many questions still, this series can’t do this to me.) It just really kills me inside, especially the more I thought about it and the more I think about his character.
I’m gonna kinda express some of my new random thoughts on his past , cause this intrigues me oddly: (Kinda theory time right now whoooo) AND ALL IS WHAT GIVE ME SO MANY FEELINGS MY GOSH.
Just thinking about the extent of the abuse he must’ve suffered is something that really boggles my mind…… We know it went on for years, those 6 years before his “death” and then probably a few more before that obviously, when his sister was still alive. Who’s knows how long she had to endure it though? She was much older, Sakuya was about 9 at the time, and she appeared to be High School (or maybe Middle School can’t really tell with the uniform.)
She was also the one covered in bandages after all, and we couldn’t see any visible scars or injuries on Sakuya. So she obviously took all the beatings so he wouldn’t have too most likely but after when she died I’m sure things got worse for poor little Sakuya.
But this is my other biggest thing about the abuse he went through…
How come he never tried running away?
We all know his parents threatened to do the same thing to him as they did to his older sister, but could he really not just try and leave before anything happened? Maybe not until he got a bit older.. but still….
Was his parents that controlling? I doubt his parents even cared enough to hunt him down if he did run away…. So why didn’t he try? Did they really keep him that locked in? Its so hard for me to imagine him being and feeling that hopeless, did he have zero fight inside him?
It’s hard to imagine him not fighting back in the slightest. But he could have been a very different person back when he was human too, of course. Maybe more meek and submissive… again who knows. (To be honest, I am extremely curious about to what most of the vampires characters were like before they were vampires and who and what they did before as well.
But anyway, do you think Sakuya put up with it…
Because it was ALSO a loyalty thing??!? I’m making no jokes here. Hear me out, even if he hated his parents(I’m sure he did obviously, even though he never explicitly said he did, because we had Tsubaki tell his story, and not Sakuya.)
Do you think he never tried running away or whatever, because he just felt like he just couldn’t? Like he was betraying something? Maybe not his parents, just because “They are my parents…. whether I like it or not. I have to listen to them…”
But maybe because of his sisters death? Like he felt like he had to endure it like she did for him?? I mean…. he was told:
“You don’t want your sister’s death to be a waste, right?”
YOU GUYS GET WHAT I AM SAYING HERE RIGHT? History can repeat itself….
(This boy is gonna kill me with his conflicted ass)
We know they killed his sister so they could get insurance money(ughh so sickening) but did they really try to kill Sakuya for more money? They would only be two people at that point…… so that’s why a part of me is like, “there’s gotta be a greater reason.” The best conclusion I came up with was “They killed him because maybe he tried to TELL someone.”
Think about it. Sakuya hates lies, he had to lie his whole life basically. He takes it very serious and to heart. WE KNOW THIS.
We know he only kept it a secret because he was threatened and didn’t want his sister’s death to be in vain…. But maybe he eventually cracked under all the pressure… And maybe tried speaking about it or was planning too and then… That was also the day he died…… Damn…. I just stabbed myself in the heart.
So yes, his past is a big factor on why I found him so interesting initially when I was new to this fandom/series, I was really hoping we would see his past elaborated a bit or learn more and see what he does and how on earth Mahiru was gonna “save him.”
I could go on and on about these two as well. Not in a shippy way…. but friendship or romantic, considering his past it makes sense to why he’s attached to Mahiru. Again in another post where I “defended his character” I guess you could say, I talked about how Sakuya’s “screwed up friendship methods” and how he really dug himself into a hole. -__- But I was saying its almost hard to blame him for going about the way he did. BECAUSE IT JUST MAKES SENSE SADLY.
Sakuya is a real lonely and distant kinda guy. After he sister died I’m sure he didn’t have much light in his life then. No one to talk too, no one who understood. No one who loved him. I’m sure growing up during those 6 years he was probably afraid to get close to anyone. What was school like for him then…. did he really have no friends at all for 6 years? It’s crazy to think about right? His childhood was anything but normal….
But then he received a “second chance” after Tsubaki found him and I’m sure Mahiru’s kind-hearted nature really drew him in, it’s not wrong for him to really want a friend, yeah he did go the complete wrong way about it, but unfortunately lies and deceit is all he knew how to do. He found some light in his life, and he was willing to do anything to hold on to that for as long as he could. Also HE KILLS ME because he regretted lying to Mahiru so much and did all the awful things he did/said, BECAUSE HE WAS HOPING MAHIRU WOULD HATE HIM and have his Servamp KILL HIM because he felt that was the only way to apologize for everything. and BOIII did that really kill me. AND THEN MAHIRU FORGAVE HIM STILL and now look at where he is with his conflicted loyalty….
YOU SEE WHERE I AM COMING FROM AVI!?!? AHHHH.
-inhales- ALSO ONE THING I NEED TO GET OFF MY CHEST BECAUSE THIS REALLY BOTHERS ME. Before ANYONE says “Mahiru is too forgiving about the whole fake memories thing and shouldn’t have forgiven Sakuya or be his friend.” Cause I HAVE heard someone say this and it makes me angry.
BECAUSE then you are ALSO SAYING:
Mahiru shouldn’t have forgiven and accepted Kuro for his past and all his sins and regrets, that he never shared with him. Also for attacking Mahiru that one time, lets not forget.
Mahiru shouldn’t be friends or ever trust Lawless because he’s killed so many eves and killed all of Tsubaki’s subclass and who knows what else he’s done?
Mahiru shouldn’t be finding a way to stop Tsubaki without killing him, because he’s not worth it.
Mahiru shouldn’t be trying to save Tsurugi either because he’s also done bad things.
AND SO ON.
SO SCREW EVERYONE WHO SAYS THAT. Cause you’re basically saying NO CHARACTER deserves happiness. -exhales- Sorry I just feel very strongly about that and I forgot to mention this in my defense post awhile ago. I feel better now~
So about Sakuya’s damn conflicted loyalty between Tsubaki and Mahiru. How are things gonna go from here?.WHICH ROUTE MY GUY? I WANT TO KNOW.
Tbh he’s kinda similar to Tsurugi in a sense (a certain someone kinda opened my eyes about that) that the whole “afraid to start something new because this is all that I’ve ever known and honestly I don’t know how to feel anymore?” kinda sense.
Although Tsurugi is debatablely the saddest character in servamp right now (backstory and current situation and all ARE WAYYY more painful.)
What? Just cause Sakuya is my fave didn’t mean I’m completely biased about him. He sad. But not the SADDEST. I just thought I would mention this cause the parallels kinda fascinate me.
I WANT SAKUYA TO TAKE SOME ACTION. HE’S FREE NOW RIGHT??? What’s he gonna do now??? What’s he planning to do!?!? STILL WAITING HERE.
. Ughh its probably gonna be awhile until we get anything about Sakuya again. Which is fine. Cause its not his arc right now.
WE GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS IN THE MANGA. MUCH MORE PRESSING THINGS INDEED.
But still I’m extremely curious… To what he might do in the future…. I mean Sakuya and even Lilac are still running around freely unlike the other melancholy members at the moment? So will he somehow be involved with that later??? Will he find Tsubaki??? WHERE ARE YOU MY BOY?
I HOPE THAT MEANS STRIKE PLANS TO INCLUDE HIM AGAIN SOON. I’ll take it as foreshadowing *sobs* Strike obviously hasn’t forgotten about him….so JUST waiting and watching now.
Waiting and watching….
Sorry, that got so angsty above I wanted this post to be positive too.. So here are good/fun things I like about him:
Even though he character design absolutely baffles me(yes I mean the hair) I gotta say I really love it~ His hair is really something original that’s for sure. HA. His design also helped immediately catch my attention to him also I may have a bit of a “stripes bias” ahaha I own A LOT of stripe shirts myself lol always have and always will.
He owns a lot of pink accessories and wears pink a lot too! LET. BOYS. WEAR. PINK. YES. YOU. GO. MY. BOY. He rocks it fight me.
He’s cool and I’m kinda curious on what his subclass ability is. If there is even one for him. Weapons seem to be his specialty. (F.E knives, chainsaw(which I am still trying to figure out how magically pulled out in AN ELEVATOR!?! And can make a sword outta blood apparently.
But I don’t really trust the animes canon….) Also his little black strap things have a function??? THEY ARE ALIVE. WHAT
Look how happy Mahiru makes him. His smile is precious. He loves his friend so much I cry. I want them to be together and be friends again.
All the Tsubaki and Sakuya shenanigans make me laugh. One minute he’s crying to Mahiru “please don’t kill him” and the next you’re trying to put the guy into a fox trap. What even boi.
HE PRETTY STRONG and has great potential to be truly terrifying and useful. UNLEASH THAT POTENTIAL YOU GREEN EMO CHILD.
Another random thought I had was what would have things been like if Mahiru did choose to tell Sakuya about Kuro in the beginning like he originally planned? Might’ve still gone down the same way. But who knows?
(I could keep going tbh)
But for now I’m just gonna sweat about the BIGGER MATTERS THAT ARE CURRENTLY HAPPENING IN THE MANGA RIGHT NOW. HA….
Saw your personal post of your bookshelf and was wondering if you have any more books recs? (That is not Neil Gaiman's nor Terry Pratchett's 'cause I already added all of their books on my tbr list lol). I genuinely love your taste.
ahahaha I’m very flattered to hear that you trust my taste, thank you friend!! Definitely, definitely start with Discworld and Good Omens but here are some of my other all time favourites and some books that just stick out of the general mass to me, in no particular order:
the Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas - just an excellent freacking novel that somehow carried through as my main comfort book since childhood, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve reread it at this point but the last time was last December and boy does it just never lose its charm. Don’t get intimidated by the length, it reads very well (even my 9 year old self didnt find it boring hahaha) and the multiple interwoven storylines although complex are easy to follow.
Of Human Bondage by Somerset Maugham - tbh I didn’t expect to love this book as much as I did but it won me over, it’s a quasi-autobiographical coming of age story about a shy boy with a club foot going through many of life’s ups and downs and trying to find the meaning in it. Maugham’s writing style is just lovely and it’s one of those books where you’ll find incoherent thoughts, fears and other emotions that youd usually brush off and not even bother to acknowledge staring back at you perfectly put into words and you just feel understood.
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov - Easily an all time favourite. Religious satire, if you enjoy Good Omens, check this one out next. Premise: the devil comes to soviet-era Moscow, does some people-watching and throws a party. Bulgakov wrote it to be a caricature of soviet society but I think it nevertheless passes the test of time and will be enjoyable to anyone. As far as translations go, I checked out the Burgin & O'Connor one a few years ago and recommend that one, I found it does the book justice.
I, Lucifer by Glen Duncan - Another religious fiction. To be entirely honest I’m not yet done with this one but halfway through I do already love it enough to recommend it. Lucifer is offered a chance at redemption, the condition being that he has to take over the body of a writer who had just committed suicide and live a virtuous human life as him, with a trial period of a month to decide if he wants to commit to it. So he decides “fuck it I’m just gonna have some fun and also write a book about what’s it’s like to be me”. It’s profanely hilarious, witty and very thought provoking.
The Humans by Matt Haig - Similar premise to the last one actually, but in this case an alien takes over a scientist’s body and the book is his observations on humans. Not to sound dramatic but tbh this book cheered me up during a very unpleasant time in my life, it’s maybe nothing too elaborate and special but made me look at some simple every day things in a different light, and reading it just felt like a very good, long and comforting hug.
Momo by Michael Ende - Just a really sweet, whimsical and lighthearted tale about Time, Death and the dangers of capitalism. It’s a short childrens’ book that really sticks with you for a long time after you put it down and I strongly recommend it to anyone.
Century by Sarah Singleton - I generally have a huge weakness for cyclic storylines, and this one is just so aesthetic. I find it very similar in mood to a lot of Gaiman, like the Graveyard Book, Coraline, the Ocean at the End of the Lane. It’s melancholic, creepy, beautiful, has a nice steampunk-ish mood to it and the kind of plot that is better discovered as you go rather than described beforehand.
The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly - This one is a bit on the “Edgier” side of fairy tale retellings that I’m usually strongly against, but BoLT struck a chord with me fsr. It’s very reminiscent in terms of atmosphere (and kind of plot too) of Over the Garden Wall. If you like the “more serious takes on fairy tales” genre, check it out!
The Secret History by Donna Tartt - This book is just. So damn immersive and picturesque.
When a scene is described you feel as if you’re there.
It’s basically a book about a murder that isn’t focused on the investigation but rather on all the events and characters involved in it, it’s more an aesthetic experience than a far reaching story. I fell in love with Donna Tartt’s slow pacing and long descriptions and awfully pretentious but tragically likeable characters.
the Chronicles of Amber by Roger Zelazny - An imo outrageously underrated sci-fi/fantasy series by a friend of George Martin’s, about a dysfunctional royal family fighting for the throne of their world. It’s a bit convoluted and would be long to describe but the world building in this series is absolutely incredible and very unique and different from most high-fantasy, I strongly strongly recommend it to all fans of more popular series like LoTR or ASoIF or Name of the Wind.
Night Watch series by Sergei Lukyanenko - Modern fantasy book series that I’ll forever have a soft spot for. The set up is that among regular humans there are some called Others that can manipulate energy and cast spells, and basically have varying levels of supernatural powers. These are divided into the Dark Ones and the Light Ones and both sides try to keep up a balance of good and evil in the world by surveying one another. That one too is a bit complicated to explain but it’s really interesting and the stories touch up on lots of different topics and have lots of fascinating reflections about morality done in an entertaining way through endearing and marvelously flawed characters. Here though, I don’t know how well the translation was done, sorry about that.
A general author recommendation is Christopher Moore’s stuff!! I’ve been making my way through his books to ease my Discworld withdrawal pains, and while I do still prefer Pratchett by ten miles, Moore’s books are genuinely laugh-out-loud hilarious and endearing.
Have you gotten sugamon for the domesticity ask yet?
namgi for the domestic thing
I HAVE NOT, THANK YOU TO BOTH OF YOU!
who cooks normally?:
yoongi! namjoon’s only allowed in the kitchen for reaching things when yoongi is cooking now (bless his heart, he tried though - it just ended in injury so yoongi had to put his foot down no matter how much namjoon pouted)
how often do they fight?:
a fair amount tbh. but they resolve it so quickly, it’s almost as if it never happened. they’re just too indulgent and used to each other and compromising at this stage.
for serious fights, they might need a bit to cool off by themselves before they’re ready to settle it though. both namjoon and yoongi are strong, opinionated people so it can get intense.
what do they do when they’re away from each other?:
CLOTHES SHARING. namjoon wears the gifts that yoongi gave him and sends him pics of all his outfits for that day with messages like “i love you!” or “this matched perfectly with my new pants, thanks!”
he also buys yoongi souvenirs wherever he goes and while yoongi may grumble that it’s lame, he keeps/wears every single thing namjoon buys him anyway
yoongi just bundles up in namjoon’s coziest clothes at all times. their friends know yoongi is missing namjoon when he shows up in sweaters that are hanging off his frame more than usual. sometimes he even cuddles with one of namjoon’s ryan plushies (but he’ll never admit it - the only reason namjoon knows is bc hoseok caught him once and sent namjoon a picture)
nicknames for each other?:
just variations of their names! namjoonie, joonie, joon-ah is what yoongi uses while namjoon uses yoongi, yoongi-yah, yoong, etc
namjoon also uses “babe” when he’s feeling frisky lmao (he really loves when yoongi’s all flustered angry, it’s cute)
who is more likely to pay for dinner?:
it’s whoever has their wallet at the time so probably yoongi a little bit more since namjoon forgets his wallet occasionally
otherwise, they alternate
who steals the covers at night?:
the covers are occasionally stolen by namjoon. he moves around a lot and sometimes he just ends up cuddled up with yoongi even though he sweats under the covers
other times, he moves so much the covers twist around him and come off of yoongi. yoongi just pulls it back to him and rolls over while namjoon barely stirs lol
what would they get each other for gifts?:
clothes. accessories. yoongi would give namjoon little things he observed that the other wants/needs while not making a big deal out of it and namjoon is always grateful. he plants a big kiss on yoongi’s cheek every time just to see him go pink at the ears and shove at him
otherwise, they share basically everything so sometimes the lines between gifts and just something for them to share blurs.
who remembers things?:
both of them. namjoon is very sentimental and he always remembers significant dates and memories. however, he can be a bit too into his head and forget the date until last minute. yoongi doesn’t mind. he knows namjoon remembers the important things and that’s all that matters. they both spend it quietly and intimately between themselves.
but occasionally, namjoon will surprise him with a sweet romantic gesture that he outwardly scoffs at but inwardly, it has his fragile little heart melting into a pile of goo
who cusses more?:
both are around the same but namjoon a bit more. mostly bc he’s childhood friends with hoseok lol. and he’s never been afraid to use curses.
meanwhile yoongi was part of the student council and in a strict all-boys school that made him more careful with when to curse. he mostly saves it for his songs.
what would they do if the other one was hurt?:
the thing is. they’re both kinda prone to physical injury or health issues. (namjoon more with physical injury while yoongi more with health issues) so by now they’ve learned to keep a cool head. they know how to deal with it calmly and patch each other up/take care of each other unless it’s more serious. then they’ll drive each other to the ER or wherever and take care of everything for them.
they’ll support each other and help each other with whatever and they trust and love each other enough to let them. and if they hold the other just a bit tighter that night, press just a bit closer, well…who’s gonna know right?
as for emotional hurt, they know each other well enough to know what to do. whether it’s give advice, just listen, reassure, praise, or just hold each other, they’ll do whatever the other needs to feel better.
even if it means that sometimes, they keep their distance. yoongi will retreat into his studio and write out his hurts and pains. namjoon will quietly head out and take a nice long walk. in the end, they’ll come to the other when they’re ready and they know it.
who kissed who first?:
it was a mutual kiss. they both leaned in and knew what they were going for what it meant. it was a long time coming and it happened almost as naturally as breathing.
who made the first move?:
yoongi, actually. although that was purposeful from namjoon. he would’ve done it but he knew it would be better to wait for yoongi. he knows that yoongi doesn’t really do things in halves and so if he made a move, that means he thought it through and he was ready :) namjoon is patient and he’s willing to be all the more patient with yoongi because he knows it’ll be worth it
who started the relationship?:
both of them. they knew each other enough to not bullshit anything. they talked about it and came to an agreement together. they both love each other and they wanna be together. so what’s stopping them?
i always imagine sugamon to be the type that were in a relationship before they even started dating, you feel me? the type that an outsider would observe and then be like “wait, you’re telling me they’re not even dating???…not even a little bit?”
you know, that cliche “we’re dating and everyone but us knows it” thing ^^
Naturally calm and collected, he isn’t easily frightened
In fact, the only time he’d truly be scared is if he feels like the lives of his friends and the lives of any other innocent person are at stake
Even so, he makes a good leader because he can still think and act rationally even during the worst situations
During events like a chase, he’d definitely stay around the end of the group so he could try and fight off whatever was chasing them
He’d also be the one who’d make “nice saves”, knocking things over to block the pursuer’s way, shutting the door behind them at just the right time, barricading that door soon afterwards
Very aware of his surroundings, so he actually wouldn’t be easy to surprise or jump-attack
Not particularly comforting with words, but his presence tends to be reassuring to others
Would fight off any attacker no matter how dangerous they were or how un-armed Shownu would be
Even if they were attacking someone else, ESPECIALLY if they were attacking someone else
Selfless, but to a fault. His selflessness may potentially lead to his downfall
He’d be a considerate and noble leader if needed, but he’d just care so much about his group he’d forget to take care of himself
He’ll put on a tough exterior and remain serious for the most part, but if threatened or scared he’d be extremely nervous
Even to the point of tears
If someone were to go missing or if they were to die, he would definitely cry
Probably wouldn’t even need a weapon, his strength would serve him well
Might be a little squeamish (not as much as Minhyuk or Jooheon), but his scream would be pretty high pitched
Willingly volunteer to be a lookout in case their group would need to take a detour, rest etc.
Proceeds with caution for the most part but will react extremely quickly if provoked
Would sacrifice himself or take any brutal attack no matter how fatal as long as it would keep another person safe
The type of person who’d call/text his mother “goodbye mom, I love you”
He’d be the type of character to walk into places without much caution and say “Hello?” if he sensed something
Would also turn around at the worse times
Has the loudest reactions, even if the movie’s antagonist wasn’t there he’d scream so badly it would be enough to lead them to him
Automatically assume he and the group were dealing with a supernatural, paranormal force (even if it isn’t)
Extremely vunerable if he was alone or in a small group, but he’d be able to survive well in large numbers
Would try and incorporate video game knowledge into any situation
“I played a bunch of those horror RPG simulators, I’m preeeeetty sure we shouldn’t do that. But there’s this thing I did when I played Left 4 Dead and…”
Comes extremely close to dying at least 7 times in the entire movie
Would use a flashlight basically all the time but flash it around so obnoxiously
Tries to lighten the mood especially if someone gets scared, he’ll try extra hard to comfort them too
If he would die, his death would most likely be the most graphic, prolonged, and ultimately heart wrenching for both the viewers and the characters in the movie itself
No absense of his motherly nature, he’d make sure to keep track of everyone
Keeps track of everything that happens, makes little mental notes to himself if he notices anything
Would probably piece together things he’s noticed to figure out some sort of vital plot point or some sort of knowledge key to their survival
Might be the character who’d die before he could tell them though
He’s actually really handy and makes use of literally everything
Anything is a weapon to him. He could grab the nearest object and it would be like a death sentence to whoever he was going to fight with
Would totally yell and threaten the movie’s antagonist
Makes sure everyone’s in good shape, will tend to anyones wounds if they’re injured
Scavenge for food and supplies wherever he can
Takes a long time for him to trust others, but the doubt may actually come in handy (that stranger that tagged along with their group for a “better chance of survival”? turns out they were in kahoots with the murderer and kihyun knew well enough not to trust him)
Insists that getting rest is vital to his survival
Yes, he’d take naps at any given opportunity
But it doesn’t mean he’s unaware of his surroundings and what occurs in them
He’s very swift and witty, even if he may seem to have a sluggish and lazy nature
A follower who doesn’t contribute too much, because people usually don’t take him seriously
But if he made a suggestion or figured out something that turned out to be useful or correct, the group wouldn’t hear the end of it
Gets exhausted pretty easily (if they were being chased Shownu would probably take his spot in the back of the group, and he’d constantly have to push Hyungwon forward to help him out)
Would probably make jokes about how he’d let himself get killed so he could have an eternal sleep
Probably makes jokes in general, about how they should “vote on who gets sacrificed”, “who goes to check first”
Has delayed reactions and might not even react much at things that would be “jumpscares”, but he’d bolt outta there real quick
Typically in doubt for the vast majority of the movie, even if he doesn’t admit it. He probably won’t think there would be any grave consequences, certainly no death, until it actually happens
The most cautious and jittery person in the group
He’s easily caught off guard regardless
Will scream even at the slightest touches
Suggest to call the police at any given opportunity
Would probably be the one calling for help regardless, whether the plea is directed towards authorities, other characters, or really anyone who could hear him
Gets really emotional and will probably be that type of person who will confess literally all his wrongdoings, “Listen Kihyun, I’m the one who trashed your apron. Hyungwon, I was the one who ate the take-out food you saved in the fridge. PLEASE PLEASE DON’T KILL ME I’M SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME”
The first to crack under pressure, but his hasty reactions/actions might just save a life
Either never wants to leave the setting (eg. if the movie took place in a house), or he’d want to get out of there immediately but definitely doesn’t want to be left alone
Raps when he’s scared, even if it’s super quiet he’ll probably be muttering a verse or two under his breath
Will either be the person to think “there’s obviously a logical, scientific explanation to everything!” or “we’re dealing with the paranormal here, and frankly I think we’re just about fucked”. There’s no in-between
Would totally try and record videos on his phone thinking it would make good Youtube content (if they survived lol)
Slightly outcasted, might be the “loner” who doesn’t fit in at first yet the others would still care for him lots
Would probably survive, potentially be the last survivor
His quick thinking would probably save them most of the time
Pieces together what they need to know, like how to defeat the antagonist
Tries to be sneaky but will probably fail
Like, he’ll try a sneak attack on the movie antagonist in the dark but he’ll walk into something or stub his toe and blow his cover because he’ll yell “Ah, fuck!”
Or he’d be trying to escape really really quietly, but he steps on a creaky floorboard and it’s game over
If the movie was something paranormal or so, like perhaps Ouija board related, he was probably the one who suggested playing it in the first place
i know there’s a ton of these out there and this is SO LONG im sorry i dont know how to shut up lol, i want to update my fics but im in the home stretch of getting through this week of classes before i go on break ;;;; so uh, have this post of some kind of general hc’s and some thoughts on how saeran feels about each of the members of the rfa + some vanderwood
spoilers of course, also mentions of smoking and vague notions at abuse and stuff, also this is just super long and ridiculous and im sorry aha
Anon Asked: UT UF Bros react to their SO being a vampire
Okay there’s so many different styles of vampires. Classic ‘Dracula’ type, the hyper sexualized 'True Blood’ type, the red drinkers (actual color red not just blood) from Adventure Time, the 'snowflake’ type from Twilight, and many others. So to keep everything to a standard I’ll stick with having this s/o as being a kind of vampire from the True Blood universe.
Meaning they burn in sunlight, are harmed by silver, can die from a stake to the chest, and drink human blood. They also have super speed, super strength, need blood, and have retractable fangs. Pretty standard I guess.
-He thinks you’re joking at first, but then he sees you’re 100% serious. Now he’s concerned for your mental health. But then he nervously jokes that he’s gonna need some proof. So you try to give him some quick proof. You let your fangs out and he jumps almost off the couch. please don’t do that again.
-His eye lights go out and he gets kinda quiet for a few minutes after that as he tries to mentally process the bomb you just dropped on him. He has so many questions! How did you become a vampire? How long have you been a vampire? How old are you?? Do vampires really drink blood? What abut garlic and crosses!? Do vampires really need permission to enter someone’s home??
-You answer everything you asks you. You tell him who your maker was/is, how long you’ve been a 'creature of the night~’, how old you were, and how you did have to drink blood. He seemed unsettled by that. But took solace in knowing you didn’t kill for the blood.
-Also you talked about how garlic didn’t hurt you but it did make your eyes water (from how strong it is to your heightened sense of smell), and that crosses (crucifix or just regular kinds) don’t hurt you at all. But the stake thing…that was real. Sans looked a little ill knowing that a stake to the heart would make you explode into a pile of blood and gore.
-And thankfully he’s too curious to be mad at the moment, but late when his science side is sated he’ll get a little pissy that you waited so long to tell him something so important. But his anger won’t be too hot. He can kinda see why you were scared to let anyone (even him) find out. Vampire lore isn’t exactly glittering with positive representation.
-Honestly he’s actually fine with it. You’re still you. You just have a weird diet and some extra abilities. Just don’t starting raising your LV and he’ll be fine.
-He’s excited! But then he admits that he doesn’t really…know what vampires are? Papyrus hasn’t watched too many vampire tv shows or movies. He’s more interested in comedy and drama than any type of horror. Meaning he’s not very familiar with the lore. So you have to explain to him what vampires are, and what they can do. What you can do. You explain your enhanced speed, your super strength, your thirst for blood, everything. You don’t lie to him. That wouldn’t do either of you any good, and plus it would make him sad to know you kept things from him. But…
-He’s excited again! But now because he understands. He really doesn’t see a problem with you not technically being human. If he, as a monster, were fine with dating a human then he’d also be fine dating a vampire. He’s not even mad you waited so long to tell him! He knows you were just nervous. And that’s alright. He’s just glad you finally felt comfortable enough to tell him. If anything this will make your relationship stronger!
-That being said…he is a tad concerned about your diet. The idea that in theory you have to hurt someone just to feed makes him uncomfortable. So when he finds out you’ve never hurt anyone he’s beyond relieved. You tell him that you pay some people and in return they give you a few pints of their blood every week. It’s all a very business like and totally legal. (if this is true is up to you. you could just be saying it to ease his mind. ignorance is bliss after all~)
-Once all that is out of the way HE IS SUPER EXCITED TO TRAIN WITH YOU! He wants to see just what you can do! Just how strong and fast are you?? You’ve got to come with him next time he trains with Undyne! She’ll be thrilled to know that someone else will be able to handle her rigorous training regimen! You better tell him to keep the vampire bit to himself for now. Don’t want too many folks in your business after all.
-Truthfully, he’s not even mad. He knows some personal secrets take time to share and expecting your new datemate to spill everything about themselves during the first week together isn’t just unrealistic, it’s kind of entitled in a dickish way. Like who the fuck are you to demand to know every secret of another living being? Nobody gets to force this kinda shit. So yeah, Red isn’t mad. If anything he thinks it’s cool as fuck. And he’s also secretly happy you trust him enough to let him in on the secret. <3
-But like holy shit you’re so fast it LOOKS like you can teleport. And you can straight up throw a CAR almost the length of a football field! (don’t ask how you were able to demonstrate these things for him.) He’s pretty sure even Undyne isn’t strong enough to pull that shit off. Also knowing you’re badass enough to not need him hawking over you all day is a weight off his shoulders. He’ll never tell but he was so worried that some bullheaded monster would see you as an easy LV boost and try to kill you.
-Also, the blood drinking thing is metal as fuck, like you’ve become at least 79% cooler to this edge boy. He even wants to see you drink some time. This boy has a biting kink lol and maybe a blood kink from hell and he’d looooove to watch you bite someone and drink them like they were nothing more than a glass of wine. He’s getting turned on just thinking about it. And he likes your fangs. You two match now. And all he can think of asking you is “if you’re a vampire does that mean you can hold your breath forever?” but he thinks it might be too soon to dive into askin that. Maybe he’ll bring it up on his birthday.
-But he is worried about the whole 'vampire weaknesses’ shit. He’s not too bummed about not getting to go out during the day with you. He’s kind of a night owl anyway, so at least if he can’t sleep he’ll have you to talk or chill with. Hell, he might even switch around his sleeping schedule to make more time at night with you. But he’s not thrilled with how apparently silver burns you?? He’d be more concerned that you’d get burnt at his and Boss’s house but thankfully Boss has always been a fan of gold and not silver. So yay for the little shit. He didn’t like how you said vampires apparently pop like a damn gore filled balloon if stabbed in the chest???? He’d totally think that was cool if it wasn’t you he was worried was gonna pop. He at least can be relieved that you’re fast enough to dodge just about anything. Again, yay for the little shit.
-He swells with pride. Of course HIS mate is even better and cooler than he’d originally thought! So cool he’s both proud and vaguely threatened. He’s still the scariest though, make no mistake. Just because you drink blood and can move faster than a cobra doesn’t mean you’re suddenly the cooler than THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS! So don’t get any funny ideas.
-And as for your speed, agility, strength; he’s both relieved and upset. On the one hand he’s comforted by the fact that you’re tough enough to look after yourself. He was worried he’d have to watch you at all hours of the day to prevent some fool from attacking you for easy LV. But on the other hand…he’s bummed that he can’t be your protector. He liked the idea of being the one to keep you safe and secure and out of harms way. He liked feeling needed. Just let him continue to pretend you need his protection, to keep him happy~
-But it seems that while his fear that you’d be easy to kill have fled, a whole new set of worries have cropped up in its place. Before he was scared that you’d be 'dusted’ with ease since you were a human. But now he’s worried you’ll get stuck outside during sunrise! Or somehow you’ll have silver forced on you just to cause you pain. Or worse yet you’ll get attacked unaware and a stake will get driven through your heart! The Edge King is very worried but hides it well. And he’s pleased he doesn’t have to replace any key metals in the house. His love for gold and indifference to silver really was lucky.
-As for your diet, it actually makes a lot of sense now that he looks back. You’d never seemed too thrilled to go out to eat for your dates together. You’d preferred to go take midnight trips to the abandoned beach, or concoct trap ideas together. Things that never involved consuming food. But now that he knows you’re a vampire he supposes sitting and eating food wouldn’t equal fun to you. And he has no problem with you drinking blood. He won’t ask to watch you feed, and he refuses to let you bring any 'food’ home with you. He knows how hard it is to get blood out of material and doesn’t want stains anywhere. Also secretly he knows seeing you bury your face into someone else’s neck in even a vaguely sensual way will make him so fucking jealous but shhhh it’s a secret lmao
-But if you pull any of that 'hungry creature of the night’ stuff on him he will lock up. Like he will totally freeze and turn as red as a tomato he was not prepared to find you stalking towards him like YOU were the predator so fucking HOT WTF STOP. Why does he find this all so alluring he’s getting too flustered! Also, pro tip: if you want to really make this edgy skellie weak in the knees then gently scrape your fangs against his bones. Any bones. Arm bones, neck bones, ribs! But heads up, he will go hard as fuck and raw you into the bed like a man possessed if you do it to his pelvic bone. ;o)
Hey Miya! Could you tell us what the stars say about seokjin? He's been playing "the fool" and the crazy hyung™ sort of roles for a while and it feels like he's really sad internally and it just doesn't fit with his earlier images so I'm vv confused. Pls tell us what is happening senpai~~~
Heeey~~ YOU CALLED ME SENPAI THAT’S SO CUTE. Anyway.
I finally watched the Starmyu episode… and I’m just??? very emotional right now??? I love them so much, guys. I love them THE MOST. I have not been this attached to a series for so long, that this anime definitely earns a special place in my heart.
boy, can we please suspend the guy who bumped on the thing that fell and blame him for everything??? Ageha did not do anything wrong!!! He’s a good boy!!!
Request : Heyy please can I get a scenario with Rosé from Blackpink. Female reader. Mostly angst + really heated argument + fluffy ending. Thank you! The longer the better for my Blackpink soul
Member : Rosé from Blackpink
A/N : Hello :) I hope you’ll like this even if it turned out not too well. I tried to keep it long as you wanted but I had a rough time writing this lol.. also this wasn’t very.. a kind of heated argument? I’m sorry if you dislike it :( You can always ask for scenarios with any member from any group listed in my biography. ( I DO NOT DO SMUT. )
“I’m home, love,” you called out as you came home from work. You heard no one answer, no loving greeting from Rosé as always. She always immediately ran towards you when she was home. It was sweet, she was acting like a puppy. She was off from practice today so she must’ve been home, but as you asked no one answered. “Honey?” you asked again, putting your bag away, looking around after closing the door. You looked through every room until you found her in your bedroom sitting on the bed, staring out of the window. “What’s off? Are you okay?” you quickly got to your girlfriend and sat down next to her, hugging her tightly. “Hmh. How was work,” she asked without any emotion. She seemed rather mad than sad, you just didn’t know why yet. “It was okay like everyday. Now tell me what’s wrong,” you looked at her beautiful face. “Nothing,” she answered, still not looking at you. “I’m not stupid, Chaeyoungie.. I know you’re hiding something. Please tell me what’s off..” you said. “You lied to me,” she replied. “I lied to.. what? I never lied to you!” you defended yourself. “Where were you saturday night?” finally she looked at you. She stared deeply into your eyes, looking hurt and mad. “I was at work, I promise,” you said. “Oh yeah. Work. So, were you alone?” she continued asking, still staring into your eyes. “Of course not, other people from the office were around. Chaeyoungie! Why are you like this.. I did nothing wrong!” you pouted. Pouting always helped but not today, she didn’t accept your cute acting. “Oh you did not? How can you still lie to me in this situation?” she asked, getting a bit louder. Now you knew, you were dead. She was going to freak out sooner or later. No matter how hard you thought, you didn’t know what you did wrong. “So you weren’t with Jisoo that night, do you want to tell me that?” her hands formed to fists and she bit her lip. “I wasn’t with her that night,” you answered. You were getting serious, you didn’t know what your girlfriend was talking about and why she was so mad. “Oh hmh. Tell me the truth or it’s over!” she shouted at you. “What? But Chaeyong, I’m telling you the truth! I don’t know what’s going on, please, don’t end us..” you looked into her eyes while yours were filling up with tears. “You and Jisoo kissed!” she screamed at me. “We never kissed!” you screamed back while some tears were falling down your cheeks. “Jisoo told me you were with her this saturday night. She even sent me a picture,” she sounded hurt, so hurt she didn’t even shout, she just sighed while showing me the chat. “She is the one who is lying! Why don’t you trust me? We’re a couple for two years by now and you don’t trust me? You rather trust Jisoo with a rumor that we kissed?!” you took her phone and scrolled through the chat and looked at the picture. “Damn this looks real but we did not kiss and I swear to god I was working off my ass saturday night!” you shouted at her phone and handed it back. The picture looked real, yet it probably was good photoshop. You don’t remember getting this drunk to kiss her nor being even close to her lips. “You kissed for so long! There is not only this picture, here! Take a look and remember this!” she showed me more pictures. “I never kissed her! Do you think I’d cheat on you? Yes? I, with a little dumb rumor made up by your friend and you, who actually kissed Lisa once!” you stood up, getting mad now, remembering that issue. It was such a mess, you two were on a party thrown by Jennie and of course the squad came. The squad included Jisoo, Lisa, Jennie, Rosé and you. Nayeon, Momo, all their friends came as well. You were gone for a bit and Rosé drank a little bit too much. You just were a bit tipsy but she must’ve drank alot and as you returned you caught her kissing your two’s best friend, Lisa. She was pretty drunk as well so she didn’t realize. The anger in you was real, everyone was even cheering for them, it was like they replaced you with Lisa. So instead of saying anything you just left home and avoided everyone for a while, you also ignored Chaeyoung for a bit.
Now you were here, never kissed anyone except your Rosé in your relationship. You understood, she was more worried than she should be as normal since she wasn’t there very often because of her career, yet she always found time for you. “That was an accident! Y/N! That’s the past, that happened a year ago just forget it!” she started crying too. “Ohh! Forgetting it? Would you forget it if I kissed any of our friends?” I asked. She didn’t say anything anymore. “Whatever. Stop lying to me, I don’t want to see you anymore, get out of my eyesight,” she threw a pillow at you. “Why are we even arguing? I hate when we argue, it’s so stupid. But good to know that you trust Jisoo more than me. And Fine, I’m leaving,” you caught the pillow and threw it back, leaving the room. You sat down in the kitchen and stared out of the little window. It was late already and you had a rough day. And now.. you argued with the love of your life. You didn’t argue very often but when you did you always felt down. She wasn’t there very often already, it was a shame that you two had arguments. After a long time has passed you slowly heard someone enter the kitchen. Of course it was Chaeyoung and she was sobbing loudly. “Y/N..” she whispered. You wiped some of your tears away and turned around. Rosé showed you more pictures where you kissed Jisoo’s cheek. “It’s just her cheek. Why do you overreact like this?” you asked. “I’m just.. so super jealous. I love you so much Y/N. I have issues sharing you. I barely see you.. it feels bad when you’re with others who are close to you. I worry alot more, too, because Jisoo likes you..” she stroked her right arm and looked at you. You sighed a bit. “I’m jealous, too, at times. Chaeyoung, I love you. I don’t want to argue with you, I just want to love you, be happy with you. Work is rough for us two already.. we should spend our freetime together happily,” you stood up and cuddled her. She cuddled back and still sobbed. “My love. I’m sorry for shouting at you.. I always feel so guilty while arguing with you.. Please forgive me, I just was so angry/ mad/ frustrated/ jealous, whatever..” she looked away. You made her look into your eyes and kissed her. “Everything’s forgiven.. Just don’t forget that I won’t ever cheat on you. I love you, and only you.. remember that,” you said while looking into her beautiful eyes. She nodded. “I’ll always love and cherish you..” she smiled and pecked your lips. You smiled as well. “Me too..”
Do you think that people who are insecure will naturally become monogamous and people who aren't will become polyamorous?
I’m not sure how to interpret this, tbh. I think “insecurity” is a vague enough concept that I don’t know what would count as a person who lacks insecurity.
Is it insecure to be worried about your partner leaving you if they literally just told you they would? Or is this just “having preferences over whether your partner dates you”? Do they need to be irrational (and how is “irrational” to be defined)? And are we only counting people with irrational fears about relationships or about anything? Is a person who feels scared when they stand on a glass roof insecure?
So I’ll instead try to define a specific value - how regularly and intensely one experiences fears about one’s relationship(s) - and call people who have more of this (holding the behaviour of their partner(s) constant) “more insecure”. This gives us “insecurity” as a personality trait. How much fear one feels can obviously go up and down depending on what one’s partner does, but people who will respond with more fear than others in identical situations can be thought of as more insecure for this purpose.
So, does being more insecure cause you to be more monogamous. It probably does for a lot of people! And, for others, the reverse might be true!
“Wait, what?” you may ask. “How can that be?” Well, I’ll give the example of my own case:
I have been a pretty insecure person (in the general, not relationship-specific sense) for a very long time, which is not too surprising given my backstory. However, until I first started dating (two years ago), I didn’t know what it would be like to be in a relationship.
I had a major advantage out the gate in understanding how to build good relationships, due to reading a lot and knowing people with good relationships that I could model. Nonetheless, I had no idea what being in a relationship felt like. Turns out it felt extremely tenuous.
I had a whole suite of insecurities; most of which were related to the newness of relationships. I felt as unlovable as back when no one would date me and was terrified that, if I let any opportunity pass me by, I’d never find a girlfriend again. I continued to have the suspicion that everyone secretly hated me that I’d held since primary school, which made it hard to trust that any given person would stick around, and made me want to distribute my risk. I was afraid that the rules around what others considered “cheating” were obscure and unknowable. And also, like, my own jealousy was a thing.
Given the particular cluster of insecurities, polyamory was the obvious choice. Three soul-crushing anxieties pushing me one way beat the one pushing me the other. For over a year, being polyamorous was clearly the best way I could satisfice my preferences. But, over time, most of my insecurities faded, leaving behind almost nothing besides the jealousy. So now I’m way less insecure and have a way stronger natural leaning toward monogamy. Funny how that works.
(Note that I continue to date polyamorously, because the switching costs to becoming monogamous would not be worth it. This is just to say that the type of person I am is better suited to monogamy than polyamory now. My actually love life is poly.)
Why did my anti-mono insecurities go away while my anti-poly insecurity didn’t? Honestly, I really don’t know. To some extent, the jealousy did go away, as it’s now something like 30%-50% as bad as it used to be. On the other hand, everything else is less than 5% as bad as it originally was, so that’s a pretty big gap. It’s also a pretty annoying order in which to self-improve, given that my life continues to be poly. But I do have some guesses about why it happened in that particular order:
Experience: Most of my insecurities were about things that were gradually proven by my own experiences to not be that important. After a year of it happening very consistently, I stopped being completely shocked that I attracted romantic interest from other girls. I found that the people around me probably didn’t hate me, because they had too much ADHD to play a con this long. (It didn’t hurt that I could see other people having fears of being hated and notice that theirs were irrational.)
Somewhat more surprising to me was that I picked up a model of cheating. Or, more accurately, several models, such that I could predict how several different types of jealous people might feel about things. It was actually somewhat like learning to read faces, which I originally thought would be impossible. Then I started picking up the cues of a raised eyebrow here and an upraised mouth-corner there, until eventually I could do it. Similarly, navigating relationships with different types of people, and listening to the thoughts of people I wasn’t dating, helped me get a new sense, so the problem no longer seemed scary.
Meanwhile, this didn’t really happen with jealousy. The lessons experience taught were that yes, my partner sometimes starts dating someone cooler than me and then dumps me; and yes, my metamours sometimes interfere in my relationships in ways that sabotage them; and yes, my poly friends tend to (on average) have less secure primary relationships than my mono friends. None of these were universal, obviously, but common enough to sting.
I’d certainly rather I was weighing risks like these with system 2 than with system 1, but if my system 1 was exposure therapied out of most of its problems, that isn’t going to work for a problem where system 1 is sometimes correct.
Environment: A while back, a Tumblr post went around where someone talked about why the casual suicidality of Tumblr culture was unhealthy. That suicidality must always be taken Extremely Seriously because it is a Real Adult Problem that you need to Seek Help for. Almost everyone who responded said that this was actually very valuable to their mental health and that they wouldn’t be able to express their feelings in a different environment.
This is basically what I’m like with my insecurities. Being in a social environment where people were like “lol, of course we’re all afraid that everyone in the world hates us” helped me work through that.
Meanwhile, I’ve mostly been surrounded by people who think jealousy must always be taken Extremely Seriously because it is a Real Adult Problem that you need to Seek Help for, who of course make me not want to admit to such Serious Defects. Plus, of course, the people who think monogamy is evil and that violating monogamous people’s boundaries is always justified, who doubly make me never want to talk about jealousy in public.
The combined chilling effect probably leads to me working through my problems less well than if I could talk about them, which may contribute to why my fear that everyone hates me faded at a much faster rate than my jealousy has.
Self-Deception: Probably related to environment is the fact that, while I could admit most of my problems to myself, I was convinced I didn’t experience jealousy. After all: jealous people are Bad; I am not Bad; therefore, I am not jealous. This lasted me through quite intense levels of doublethink and reams of excuses that are embarrassingly invented in retrospect.
This, of course, also meant I wasn’t working on the problem directly, because I couldn’t admit to myself that I had it. Thus, I may also be behind on subduing jealousy just because I’ve been consciously working on it for a much shorter period of time.
Regression To The Mean: As far as I’m aware, most people tend not to be incredibly scrupulous and convinced that they’re inherently unlovable and universally hated. However, they do tend to experience jealousy. They do at high enough rates that the default dating system is built around an assumption of jealousy.
This means that, of my listed insecurities, the ones that were obstructions to monogamy were uncommon. Thus, just due to the random ways people change, there’d probably be a higher chance of them going away than of jealousy going away. One might expect jealousy to be more firmly fixed in place just because it’s very common. (This is also my handwaviest and least endorsed guess.)
In the end, it was probably several of these, plus maybe other things I haven’t yet thought of. Whatever the case, I can at least say that I’m better off now than where I started. On basically every metric, I’m a more self-assured and less insecure person.
While I’d rather have vanquished my insecurities in a different order, I am still immensely grateful that they’re going away at all. If I had but gained some more trust, but had still been just as jealous, Dayenu.
Honestly, I’m just shocked anyone put up with my insanely insecure ass long enough for this much improvement to take place. The fact that anyone could stand me this long, when I can’t stand myself, is the best evidence I have that I might actually be pretty or something.
(Though I still have the insecurity that I’m bad for the people around me, even if not the one that everyone else realises this and hates me. This is part of why I’m way more reluctant to date new people, now that I no longer have the automatic urge to accept every opportunity I get. However, if you want to try anyway, I’d be immensely flattered.)
Anyway, sorry to give you a long story about my personal life. The point was that insecurities can pull you in any of several directions, so you can’t be sure that one set of people is more or less insecure than another without finding out why they’re doing what they’re doing.
Note: This is my very first fic so please bear with me. This is a work of fiction so I hope you understand if ever there is flaw with the plot with regards to the original source which is the manga itself. There might be grammatical errors as well so sorry in advance. Please, if ever you’re just a hater of this ship or the fandom or Ishida or just life in general, leave the premises, thank you. Hahaha!
This is actually made just for myself coz I want to. So y'all actually can’t do anything about this shit. Lol. But I wanted to share this to my co-shippers because I’m a bit proud with this one and this is my first. This is how I would want and have imagined the story will go, if only I was Ishida-sensei. But I trust him tremendously. I love that man. He made our OTP canon as fuck! Fucking hell yes!!!
Finished this after 7hrs and a few hours before the next chapter, this is how I imagine would happen after Chapter 130. Enjoy and thank you for reading! I would love to hear your comments and suggestions. Love lots! Xo
IMPORTANT PS. This is the new tumblog that I made for my fangirl moments. So this is where I will fangirl hard on TouKen and the rest of Tokyo Ghoul :Re, and the other manga’s that I read, and the other things that I really love. Thank you! FOLLOW ME!!!
Hey! first of all i love your blog and i agree with most things you express here as your views just thought i'd add my 2 cents. (1) i just want to say that i've befriended twin siblings in the past, very close friends but all of the twins i've met, none of them have ever behaved like grethan does! EVER. This is why their behaviour towards each other set alarms off for me. The twins i've met throughout my life, have always been close and even if they were each other's bffs, +
3(2) i’ve NEVER seen them act physichally, intimately or emotionally attached the way grethan does, they are just on a whole other level, nothing i’ve witnessed before and i’m talking about twin friends i’ve gone to school and college with, spent hours every day for years and even out of school, never saw anything like it. This is why i think their relaitonship just goes way deep, like you described it, being overly possessive and going/doing everything together + (3) i know it’s usual but trust me, they all seek some “me” time and independence, hang with other peopl and go out there separately after some time it is normal to do so, however i feel like grethan just can’t do that. (4)I think grayson for example is one who expresses so much attachment and adoration to ethan with everything he says and does, it feels like he is actually ethan’s older bro and i noticed that ethan has the behaviour of someone who has grown used to being taken cared of or protected which led him to act more childish sometimes because of it (I hope this doesn’t sound wrong) but it feels like ethan is naturally, organically very child like in comparison to grayson a lot of the time (5)and it’s not in actual behaviour but in attitudes he has and i think that grayson being so possessive of him had that side effect, plus i think ethan just loves it and has proven so, i think he’s clearly equally as possessive as grayson, it reminds me of that couple of snapchats when they were on a plane and he showed grayson wasn’t on his seat next to him and the next snap was him waiting for grayson who walked out of the plane after and he cornered him saying “Don’t ever do that to me again (6) and he was serious about it even though he let out a small giggle. Though the things grayson says about him are just too extreme sometimes to just be considered “brotherly love” too, besides his actions, but the whole “there are no other 2 people in this planet that are closer than me and ethan” speech conveyed a whole lot of meanings imo, that, as well as other statements are way too powerful to make and he made it so seriously. (7) Btw, in the video were nate dared them to kiss, their reactions were super telling, grayson’s first thought was to cover his face which is a sign of hiding and people do that when they feel exposed and he has done that before, then ethan is the most telling, because his reaction is more of an answer to grayson’s reaction, which was a down expression and quietly saying he’s not gonna do it but if you pay close attention, look at the way he’s waving his hand the whole time,(8) ,it was clear sign that he was in a very awkward situation and was nervous about it. They’re def one odd pair to figure out, i agree with you that they’re not like, dating but i think it’s just a relationship above all labels and like you said, it’s understood between them that they’re soulmates imo, or something like that (9) i do believe they’ve done/do sexual stuff by well, all the tea they serve us on it, though regarding girls, i think they can still find girls attractive regardless and probably even date someone but i think they’re each other’s first priority and then comes everybody else but i also see them as just not interested to go and explore all that side tbh. (10) I also always got gay vibes from grayson big time, even when i first saw him on video so that’s interesting, a lot of people see that too. Anyway, i also think the twins are just chill about friendships or even other people because as you said, they’re fulfilled with each other in every sense.
Hey! Thanks so much for the comments, you basically explained my thoughts but better haha !
To comment on what you said, you’re so right about Ethan getting used to being taken cared of. I mean Grayson cooks for him quite a lot, and it looks like Grayson manages their channel more than him. They both edit but clearly Grayson does the most. Also, almost exactly a year ago, when Ethan was sick, Grayson took care of him and i doubt Ethan would have done the same.
I also think they were both embarrassed by Nate’s dare but it was probably all planed. Their friends (ex) probably don’t know that they actually kiss on a daily basis lol so they had to act as if it disgusted them. (About them kissing… I’m sure they only started kissing in like 2015. If y’all wanna know more, send an ask and I’ll explain.)
I also don’t see them being interested in girls (or dating in general), but it doesn’t mean they can’t find them attractive, just like married people still have eyes and can still think someone other than their partner is pretty. I know most of the fandom keep trying to find their secret girlfriends but I’m sure there’s no one, and yesterday’s video proved it for me (I mean Ethan was SO angry that Grayson would think he actually sent a nude. It was like he felt like he was accused of cheating. I had never seen him more outraged).
Thanks again for the long message, it explains pretty much everything I think about them! Have a nice day, and don’t hesitate to send more if you find more interesting stuff! I’m always up to discuss!