Man I cannot believe I stan a group that doesn’t have one visual hole full of actual amazing talented singers and dancers and rappers and all of them are so humble and giving and care about all of their fans and are actually the sweetest humans alive, damn Stan kings, Stan B.A.P
so im finally starting to carve through a bit of the stuff ive been going through…still not super comfortable talking about it publicly but i will be looking for commissions and stuff pretty soon here, money is a Situation atm
BUT the point is im starting to really get through it i think and ive been feeling happier and more productive than i have been all year and i feel like im becoming a real person again and im just. grateful.
I know this may sound bad, but the Tsar had me chuckling throughout the chapter. he's so bad but the way he says things and how frivolous he acts was just super amusing and an awesome contrast to all of the truths he was dropping on jack (my poor boy). what a great villain you've created. and I absolutely adore that he's sort of a new incarnation of the Nightmare King. when he dropped that line, I flipped my shit. amazing chapter as always, nervous for the next!
I’ve been looking forward to this reveal for so long. Up until now, it’s been so tempting to have the Tsar use some of the lines that Jack used in the mountain, but I held back on it, because I knew a lot of people would suspect that the Tsar obviously had more control of the Darkness than he was letting on, but hoped that wouldn’t lead to most people guessing that he was essentially the Nightmare King in this AU, before it was time. (And that seems to have mostly worked, woo!)
But it’s good being able to sort of have…a lot of previous things that folks have asked me about, make sense now. From why the orb of magic is in the mountain in the first place, why the Darkness tried to steer Jack away from it, why Pitch’s apathy and despair is so profound, especially after the first resistance attempt, and why people don’t just try to ‘randomly assassinate the Tsar anyway’ (I got this question a fair bit), etc. Like, obviously there’s new questions now to be answered, but it was good to tie up the majority of the Tsar-related loose ends.
And on that level it’s just such a satisfying chapter to have out there, because anything from here on in has to be radically different. Everything has to change. It’s like closing one door and opening a totally new one. Part of me is really scared I can’t pull this next part of the story off, but the rest of me is pretty excited to close the ‘Jack learning all about Lune and Pitch’ part of the story to a part that will be a lot more action-packed and adventure focused.
It also means if I want to, I can now start writing Pitch perspective chapters. This was the hold back. Since it’s something Pitch thinks about a fair bit.
This is a really dumb message but, I dated a boy with ADHD and I have it as well, this was the first time I felt more normal. He and I talked about how meds change our behaviors and that people get mean when you don't take them. Idk what the point of this was but he's a very nice person and he made me feel a lot better about zoning out and interrupting him sometimes or being impulsive. Basically, if people with ADHD dated others w it we'd feel better about ourselves.
Yes! It is always nice to have someone in your life who understands your struggles