lol goalies

the foxes as things i've said:
  • kevin day: *consumes my own drinks and my friend's drinks* alcohol poisoning come at me.
  • andrew minyard: nice guys finish last, which is why i act like a dick
  • aaron minyard: no seriously, fuck that noise. fuck your noise. fuck my own noise. let's all just shut the fuck up.
  • nicky hemmick: "it's only gay if-?" pls. it's always gay. lol no hetero.
  • neil josten: leg days? more like leg life. i'm always running away from my problems, bitch.
  • matt boyd: *stares lovingly into my best friend's eyes* wow, wait what did u say?
  • allison reynolds: when u said pretty, i heard it as petty and i was like: yeah, same thing tbh.
  • renee walker: knives are aesthetically pleasing but i won't hesitate to use them because blood can be aesthetic too. <3
  • dan wilds: really, ur mistake is thinking i'll be nice just because i smiled at u once.
  • coach wymack: what kind of shituation?
  • Bonus- Seth Gordon: i'm dead af but who cares *shrug emoji*
Photographer!Andrew & Model!Neil AU

(part one) (part two)

  • Neil Abram Josten, is an on the rise model. Son of a former actor (granted a douchebag of one) and a make-up artist, Neil is a stunner. He was pressured to model by his father and has slowly come to hate the world he was forced into.
  • Riko Moriyama is the son of several very successful models and the brother of Ichirou Moriyama- the current face of Calvin Klein. However, it’s clear he has no actual talent and keeps stealing jobs from his “best friend” Kevin Day, much to the disgust of Day’s agent David Wymack.
  • Anyway, so Neil is still famous for his sass, especially at Riko. His social media accounts are just clapbacks left and right. Almost too many for everyone to keep up with.
    • “Shout out to Riko Moriyama for proving to us that names can get you jobs but not talent.”
    • “Hey @Riko_Moriyama - have you learned how much it costs to pull your head out of your ass? If you can’t cover it all, maybe some of us can help you out. Our contracts probably give us more wiggle room than yours.”
  • Neil’s mother dies near the end of his contract, a fatal car accident that Neil is also involved it. He disappears for several years, during which Riko tells lies about Kevin to get him fired and steal his spotlight.
  • Andrew Minyard is an on the rise photographer, slowly becoming famous for his photographs which shed light on tougher subjects within celebrities. He was still in juvie for three years, though no one is entirely sure why.
  • When he decided to return to the public eye, Neil goes to find Andrew, interrupts him in the middle of a photo shoot and hires him to help expose the Hollywood world for what it is.
    •  Andrew thinks that Neil is a bit of a demanding ass, is annoyed with his quick temper and doesn’t want to do the job. Neil thinks Andrew is just another pretentious photographer. They don’t get along really, but finally Andrew is convinced to join.

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John Johnson - The Metaphysical Goalie

Yo, Johnson. Describe yourself.

I dunno, bro, I’d say that I exist, but only as, like, a necessary entity that’s completely irrelevant to the narrative. Every team needs a goalie, right? Yeah, like, dude. I’m, like, brimming with potential characterization? But it’s totally at the cost of diluting the portrayal of you main character bros. And while zany side-characters are momentarily entertaining, we’re forgettable–cardboard–more 2–dimensional than the pixels of which we’re comprised. But yeah, I’m like, a senior who’s graduating this year and I’m probs totes gonna be replaced by a new, freshly developed character in later chapters of the story.

Other than that, my hobbies include working out, watching sports, and breaking the fourth wall.

[ check, please! ]

anonymous asked:

V important question. Who are your top 5 fav riveters and ur top 5 fav non-riveters players?

v important eh?

rivs wise it’s Katie Fitzgerald, Milica McMillen, Tatiana Rafter, Ashley Johnston, and Amanda Kessel (even though she’s gona be busy with olympic stuff during this upcoming season)

and as for non-rivs i love Hilary Knight, Harrison Browne, Brittany Ott, Zoe Hickel, and Mandy Leveille 

:)

Random Dancing!

So once upon a time I got asked by a user on here who has since deleted their blog to write a story for her where Mats Zuccarrello asks her out on a date.  I largely forgot about it until running across it on my computer tonight and thought hey, it’s entertaining, why not share it with the world?  And so here we are.

WARNING: 100% intentional humor.  As this was written during the 14-15 season, it features since departed NYR Carl Hagelin and has a mention of Cam Talbot.  I’m trying not to cry typing their names.

Blogger’s name has been changed to (Y/N) for privacy purposes.

Enjoy!

Originally posted by ohmygodhelena

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