loki has to fix it

Welcome friends to my special brand of shitposting.

Basically this started as a crack idea of giving Yui wings and devolved rapidly into a 10-page Googledoc that will never see the light of day. EVER.

That Night In New Mexico. (Chapter Three)

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader. (Soulmate AU)

Warnings: None?

Word Count: 1,441.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter One | Chapter Two


It was dark by the time they got to where this “satellite” was.

Parking the Pinzgauer, the small group of three made their way to to the edge of the ridge and crouched down to avoid being seen. Pulling out a pair of binoculars - which made Y/N wounded why she have binoculars - Jane looked down.

The small valley was brightened by a number of lights that reached high into the dark slay and went outwards. There were guard towers set up with at least two men in each, both of which were armed. Other men and woman rushed around on the ground. A glass-walled trailer was at the center of all this, and Jane could just barely make something out beyond it. It was small, dark and looked to be on a stump of some kind. There were tubes and wires running along the grounds, leading in and out of what appeared as temporary offices of some kind. On the side of the building, Jane and Y/N saw the word S.H.I.E.L.D. written in bold letters.

Y/N heard Jane say something, but she wasn’t paying enough attention to actually make out what it was.

Why was S.H.I.E.L.D. here? Why did they practically build a city around the supposed “satellite”?

Keep reading

Gates of Glory, part 4

Loki x Reader

Originally posted by cheers-mrhiddleston

previous part

Loki studied the woman in front of him. He realised that the power she held was great, greater than he wanted to admit. Not only were her skills on the battlefield remarkable, but her brilliance was intriguing. She posed a threat, unless she was made to be an ally. Loki wiped his shock and anger away, made a welcoming hand gesture and laughed: “My plan.”

“Indeed”, Y/N replied, “Let’s think this through. You’ve got Thor banished, locked up in Midgard. Without Heimdall, he won’t return. If you tell him to close the Bifrost, which, I suppose, you will right after our conversation, Thor cannot return until you allow it. As for Odin… well, he will awake sometime. What is it you want to do with the sceptre you’re wielding in this limited time?”

“Asgard would have crumbled beneath the pressure of war, if Thor had taken the throne, we’d be having an eye to eye with Jotunheim this very second! By banishing Thor, I can delay his reign enough to fix the mistakes my brother has made”, Loki answered, raising his voice just a little.

“That sounds”, Y/N made an amused expression, “Very heroic. However, you wanted him to make that mistake, did you not? Without your little spell, he would not have entered Jotunheim in the first place. Loki, remember the talk we had just before the ceremony? On the terrace. You know I share your concerns regarding Thor. If I wanted to betray you, I could have done that by now multiple times. I could have warned Heimdall, the All-father on that evening. I could have gone to Heimdall after discovering your actions today, and I could have let him hear you. I did not do that. Why is that?”

Loki pressed his lips together before he raised his eyebrows: “I’m sure you will tell me right about now.”

“Because I’m interested to see your strategy”, Y/N elaborated, “and we have stood aside each other for a long time now. As said, I won’t kneel to you, but I will assist you.”

“What makes you believe I need your assistance?”, he asked in a dismissive voice.

“You may not need it now”, Y/N replied, “But if your plan were to fail and Thor to survive, then you might want to know a few people you can trust, as Asgard will chase you.”

“You’d become a traitor for that?”, he asked amusedly and dismissively at the same time.

“Not really”, Y/N shrugged, “I can’t become what I already am.”

“A traitor?”, he huffed, “Do you truly know what that implies?”

“Loki, I am not from Asgard”, Y/N reminded him, “I chose to join the Gods that rule over my realm. For many, that would be treason. Furthermore, I never told Odin of your plans, which is a direct violation of my oath as his warrior. Are you blind to see you’re not the only one who works… independently?”

“And what is your goal? The throne? Power?”, he asked with an eyebrow raised.

“I am not interested in the throne. What I want, however, is to prove them wrong”, Y/N hissed, “Your birth right was to be king, my birth right was to be burned in a sacrificial ritual!” Y/N turned her head away: “I do not know how much you know about Vanaheim, but some of them worship their ancestors as superior gods. Every 100 years, a child chosen by the eldest is burned during a sacrificial ritual. I was that child. My mentor, who had seen my talents, who had given me the power of Yggdrasil - she didn’t want to lose me. So she made me lie to my parents to lead them into a trap. She killed them, escaped with me. We went into hiding for so long. Until I was strong enough, old enough to join Asgard’s army.”

Loki’s gaze searched for Y/N’s eyes: “And why are you telling me this now?”

Y/N laughed dryly: “I’ve lied long enough, did I not? No, I thought it was only fair for you to know me, my history, if we work together. Helgunn, that’s how my parents called me. Y/N L/N was the name I took on whilst hiding. I’ve never returned to Vanaheim in all these years you have known me, because all that awaits me is a nation that once wanted to see me burn.”

“And that’s why you’re here”, Loki concluded, “To prove them that you were strong enough to survive.”

“I am here”, Y/N nodded, “To prove them that I do not need their dead’s blessings to be worthy.”

“Joining Asgard’s army might just be the one thing they call unworthy”, Loki stated flatly.

“I’d call my affiliation a lot more… ambiguous than that”, Y/N retorted with a dry smile on her lips, “Asgard has the fighting spirit Vanaheim has been lacking. And, frankly, the resources my realm never had.”

“Fine then”, Loki reached out to Y/N’s hand, “Under the terms that I will kill you if you tried to betray me, we have a deal.”

“Under the terms that I will put up a fight”, Y/N specified.

“You’re talking to a god, remember?”, he asked with a grin.

“You’re talking to a warrior”, Y/N replied flatly.

“Alright”, Loki took Y/N’s hand: “We have a deal, then.”

____________________________

When walking to her chambers, Y/N thought about the plan Loki had told her after their handshake. It was a risky one, Y/N thought. There were too many variables, especially Heimdall was a danger. Y/N sat on her bed, staring at the wall. Her sword lay in her hands as she thought about the next moves. Y/N knew that Odin was out of the game for several days if not weeks, and, considering what Frigga had said, maybe forever. Thor, on the other hand, was the big X in the equation. Somehow, Y/N doubted he’d let him be locked up without his powers on Midgard forever. Though he had always had a thing for Midgard, he was too obsessed with his own greatness, with his own power to miss out on it. And the throne, how he adored the sceptre of Odin. Chances were that his friends, Sif, Fandral and the others would disobey royal orders again to go to Earth to help Thor find his hammer and get his powers back. That hammer was the loose end in the plan as no one really knew how it defined ‘worthiness’. Y/N sighted quietly and opened her drawer with her weapons. She took them out, one by one, and started to clean and sharpen them. Not only did that kill time, it also served a practical purpose in case of an imminent fight.

“I didn’t tell you the entire plan before”, Loki announced the following night when they met near a cave next to a pond at the edge of Asgard, where it was easy to block Heimdall from seeing them.

Y/N’s face didn’t change: “To be honest, I am not surprised. You always keep secrets.”

“No, not really. I mean, I do. But that’s different. I… adapted the plan”, Y/N could see the dark smile on his face, “After discovering my past.”

“So what’s the adaption? Do you want the frost giants to take over Asgard, rule over them and force the nine realms into submission?”, Y/N asked sceptically.

Loki laughed amused: “I am no madman.”

“Sometimes, it does feel like it”, Y/N commented dryly.

“Brilliance is often confused with insanity”, he replied, “But no, that is not the adaption. If anything, it’s quite the opposite. I will lure Laufey into Odin’s chamber where they will attempt to kill him. However, I will kill them before they do. Their infiltration will be the deceptive story that I need to destroy Jotunheim and every single being in it.” His voice became determined, somewhat bitter. Driven.

“You want to destroy an entire realm?”, Y/N asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Jotunheim holds no value to me, or Asgard. Its existence is a sheer… waste of nerves”, Loki replied without a single emotion reflected on his face.

“I do not weep over a species I grew up fearing”, Y/N retorted quietly, “But remember that killing them won’t wipe your history. It may give you the illusion of redemption, but it will still be there. Watching my parents die didn’t wipe the memories of them telling me my only purpose was to die for them.”

Loki’s eyes changed to something much darker, something, Y/N had never seen before but that second he struggled to find words when hearing the truth from Odin: “Yes. However, I am so familiar with illusions that sometimes, they just become the truth.”

“You did not grow up in Jotunheim. Their customs are unfamiliar to you, their deeds not yours. Just because you have the same capability of them does not make you the same”, Y/N stated quietly, unsure of what to say.

“Doesn’t it? If it didn’t, why did Odin want to save me from the truth? Being from Jotunheim isn’t like being from Vanaheim. The frost giants might just be the only thing Asgard and Vanaheim hate equally - the feared monster, lurking behind the corner”, Loki’s voice had a calm bitterness to it that startled Y/N.

“You can try to run”, Y/N spoke softly, “But you cannot outrun your true nature. You can only accept it.”

“And even if I accepted this”, Loki turned towards her, revealing his appearance of a frost giant, “How do you expect people to react?”

Y/N pressed her lips together and took his hand: “Loki, Asgard was built on the principal of tolerance. Whether they like it or not, they will have to accept it. And I… how can’t I accept a foreigner when I myself am one? The most realms of the nine are not that different, Midgard, Asgard, Vanaheim, Jotunheim - so many ideological differences were created by ourselves. I don’t care whether you are an Asgardian or a frost giant, we’re just as different, no matter what you are.”

“When I fought you in the hall that day”, Loki spoke whilst looking at her hand in his, “I knew that you were unlike the rest. For a warrior, you are truly remarkable.”

Y/N huffed sarcastically: “For a god and prince, you are unsurprisingly arrogant.”

“Excuse me, but that was supposed to be a compliment”, he retorted with a faint smile.

“Unnatural to hear that from you, considering you called me wretched creature about 24 hours ago”, Y/N replied amusedly.

“You threatened me” he defended himself.

“I saw right through you, I did not threaten you”, Y/N corrected.

“Well, I’d say I am not used to that very thing”, he replied with a grin.

“Well, I’d say you better get used to it quickly”, Y/N suggested, “I don’t intend to run away just yet.”

“Very well, Y/N. I shall be your companion, then”, Loki stated quietly.

“I won’t disappoint you”, Y/N promised impishly.

“Till now”, he replied, “I can’t remember you ever have.”

Tag list:

@ultrarebelheart @adidabach @aqswdefrgthzjukilop @bluev0dk4 @inselaire @jessialchihomie

“Hey beautiful.”
You giggled interrupting Loki on the phone, “I don’t know why you call me that,” you blushed as you spoke.
“Because you really should be reminded daily.”
There was a pause and you imagined Loki smiling that gorgeous smile of his, “so what’s up?”
“Just calling to let you know the air conditioning broke at my place and I’m about to check on yours.”
You sighed, the first warm days finally hitting and it would be awful if you had no way of cooling down. Your office was blissfully cold but since you were about to leave, the trip home would feel like hell.
Loki continued, “I just didn’t want you alarmed when the door was unlocked.”
“No no, thanks I appreciate it. Again, seriously, what can I do to return the favor?”
Loki laughed warmly, “I don’t mind at all. Fixing these appliances has always been a hobby of mine, I’m happy to help.”
 You thanked him again, promising to buy him dinner sometime, before hanging up the phone and gathering the last of your things to head home.
Loki was your peculiar neighbor, living across the halfway from you. He never seemed to hold a job yet was able to afford the modest living place. Things that felt commonplace to you oftentimes fascinated him yet he was sweet if a little reclusive. It certainly didn’t hurt that he was pleasant to look at and his voice was magical.
You sighed, wiping the sweat from your brow as you drove, wishing the car would cool off faster. All the vents open blowing air at full blast and you were still overheating.
Another odd thing about your neighbor was his peculiar resistance to cold and particular strong dislike for warmth. You shared the viewpoint so the two of you got on well, but he seemed more affected than the average person.
Your car had finally cooled down to an acceptable temperature just as you pulled into your parking space. You sighed, knowing once more you’d have to brave the heat to get into the building and your still likely broken AC.
 Finally, you reached your apartment door. Just as Loki said, it was unlocked.
You pushed it open, dropping your things off on the table just inside and made your way to the kitchen where the unit was. Your mouth fell open with an audible gasp as you saw Loki bent over, strong hands grasping at the metal with a set of tools as he struggled to get it working.
His deep green sleeveless shirt lay discarded beside him as he worked, deep in concentration. Silently you admired the toned muscles of his back, shifting and rippling under his pale skin as he worked at the contraption.
Loki glanced over his shoulder, smiling at you as you wiped a hand through his sweaty hair, plastering it back. The movement sent shivers down your back.
Loki slowly straightened up, turning as he moved. He reached for his shirt as he sighed at you, “apologies, the damned thing isn’t cooperating.” He looked down at his bare chest, “it was unbearably warm.”
You swallowed hard, mouth dry as you tried to subtly admire his pecs, his toned abs and the v that vanished beneath the waistband of his trousers.
“Don’t worry about it, I appreciate the effort.” You managed to stammer out.
Loki raised his eyebrow curiously, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards as his deep green eyes bore into you. “Of course.”
 Loki put his shirt back on, his view obscured of you and you barely bit back your sigh as his muscular torso was once more obscured by social decency. Your eyes watched the material cascade down his chest, covering up the small bit of coarse black hair that ran a short distance up his stomach and your voyeurism was forced to end.
“I’ll see you later then.” Loki murmured, brushing past you. His hand lingered a moment on your bare arm, sliding up the skin farther than necessary and you shivered again, watching him go.

Imagine you and Loki’s teenage daughter isn’t very good at magic yet, and to fit in better with her Asgardian friends, wants to bleach her raven black hair.  You forbid her (you’ve tried this yourself once upon a time) but she tried to bleach her hair on her own while you’re out.  The result is a frizzed, multicolored, tangled mess, and Loki has to fix it before you come home.

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Because of sciency/kinky reasons, Loki and Tony swap bodies. It can't be fixed immediately, it has to wear off. Tony sees it as The Opportunity and goes around the tower saying things like "Brother, the real reason I can't stand you is because I envy the gracious fall of your luscious locks" and "I've wanted to try on your uniform for the longest of time, Captain." Loki allows it for a while, bidding his time. Tony shouldn't have started a game of lies with the god of lies.

Tony, you in danger gurl. XD

Thanks for the prompt, anon!