locker room stories

I’ve never really been sure what to do with it all. 

You see I have this history, this ancient set of stories, that don’t align quite right with my identity now. I have the gay girl in a locker room stories, I have trying to reassure all my female friends that just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I like them stories, I have the sleep over stories, the too close for comfort stories, the sense of loneliness stories, even when you’re close as you can be with with your best friend. The longing for the thing they cannot feel for you, when you figure out this thing you feel for them. 

But I can’t talk about any of it without sounding like I’m co-opting the stories of women. I can’t explain how it’s tied up now, more presently for me, with the feeling of utter monstrosity I live with sometimes, a legacy of being too “girl” for people who date guys and too “guy” for people who date girls. I can’t talk about the experience of how living as a lesbian for so many years before you figure out that you’re a trans man means this weird, tangled history, this alloy of struggle with these stories in my youth being the resident dyke and in my adulthood being the resident trans guy…i can’t speak without derailing an important conversation that queer women should get to have without me. 

I can’t talk about knowing that sense of isolation, alone in your head with people who can’t love you the way you want. There’s a strange sort of irony to it, a fresh new kind of isolation. 

Anyway, sometimes I cry watching music videos that are really more for queer women than me. And I can’t talk about that. I can’t talk about what it means, and commiserate with peers. I can’t feel a part of a community I’m not a part of, and rightfully so. 

I just….I don’t know what to do with the stories sometimes. They well up in my throat and I feel like I might choke on them. So, I wrote this instead. 

Andre Burakovsky #1 - Meet the Team

Originally posted by temipanarin

A/N- hiya! sorry its been a lot longer wait between imagines but I’m trying my best. I am currently only able to do some writing while watching hockey games or on my commute home from school so its not the best writing conditions… Anyways…

for the anon request: Love ur writing! Can you write a Andre burakovsky one where you meet his team and you’re kinda shy? Thanks! Lots of love<3

(thanks for the love! these little messages make my day)

_X_

You were not going to freak out. You were determined to keep your cool. They were just people, probably feeling some kind of awkwardness like you were feeling. Except they were more mature, adult hockey players who spend half of their lives talking to media and people they don’t know. So yeah, maybe you were freaking out.

Look, you love your boyfriend, Andre Burakovsky, with your whole heart. Even though you have been dating for just under six months you know that he’s it for you. It’s just that you are naturally a very shy and introverted person. Sometimes you experience mild social anxiety and large crowds with loud people really don’t make you feel good. In fact, you met Andre at a house party that your best friend had dragged you to. Instead of spending the night downstairs playing drinking games with the rest of the party-goers, Andre found you sitting in the living room, sipping your solo cup of beer and cuddling with the house cat. He immediately sat down next to you and started stroking the cat as well. After sitting there in silence for over five minutes he finally looked up at you, smiled warmly, and said, “He’s cute, but I still like dogs better.” you giggled and 2 hours later you were still sitting in that couch with a purring cat half in both of your laps when your friend came stumbling up the stairs meaning that you had to take her home.

Since then Andre has been the best thing in your life. But now your breathing is getting all out of whack and you are trying to reason with your stress-riddled brain to no avail. After six months you still haven’t met Burky’s team and tonight is the night. The Caps were playing at home and, like usual you were going to be in your usual seat in front of the glass. The exception however comes after the game where instead of texting him a congrats and meeting him at his apartment after the game, you were going to go down to the locker room and meet him and all his friends. So yeah, you were freaking out.

You steeled yourself and gave yourself a pep talk driving into the arena but once you stepped inside and saw some of the familiar faces of the arena staff, you relaxed right away. By the time you were sitting down in your seat the alarm bells going off in your head about meeting the team were significantly quieter. When the Caps took the ice for warm up Andre did his customary two laps around before circling to you, blowing a kiss, then jumping against the boards in a fake shoulder bump that always made you giggle and you focused on watching the boys warm up. Shortly after that, the game started and you were whisked away to your happy-place which is being totally immersed in the game you love so much.

_X_

The final horn sounded and you got up with the rest of the Verizon Center to give your team a resounding cheer for their 5-2 victory. Andre had scored twice and you were grinning ear to ear despite the growing panic in your chest. You decided that you were just going to have to suck it up and you really didn’t want let Andre down because you knew how much this meant to him. You flashed your pass at the man who Andre had told you about and turned left down the hallways that you were instructed to follow and sure enough you found yourself leaning against the wall facing two very large doors with the huge logo painted on. You nervously fiddled through your phone and got a text from Burky much sooner than you were expecting.

Andre: You here? I’ll try to be out asap so you don’t have to meet the boys all by yourself

You smiled at his consideration and texted him back a single thumbs up before continuing to fiddle around on your phone. 15 minutes later a very dishevelled and slightly wet Andre comes bursting through the doors and sweeps you off your feet. You giggled loudly as he spun you around and peppered kisses all over your face and neck.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” he beamed at you when he set you down.

“I noticed.” you giggled, “great game.”

Andre continued to smile at you like an idiot, “the boys are so excited to meet you. They say that it’s because that means that I will finally shut up about how awesome you are, but secretly it’s because they’ve seen you at games and really want to meet you.”

You gulped slightly and Andre immediately recognized your shyness creeping back in so he wrapped you up in a hug again. “I promise this dinner is super low key and all the boys are really nice.” you exhaled shakily and nuzzled into Andre’s chest for support.

“Aw, baby Burky and his girlfriend are the cutest things I’ve ever seen.” you turned around and spotted Holtby, Ovi, and Backstrom all clean and changed from their showers emerge from the dressing room and make their way over to you with warm smiles on their face.

“You must be (Y/N).” Niklas grinned at you, “happy to finally meet you.”

“We hearing so much from Burky, it feels like we already met.” Ovi said with a matching expression.

“Oh shut up, I do not gush about my girlfriend every second of every day.” Andre protested

“Ahh puppy love.” Ovi pretended to sigh wistfully

Niklas bent down to whisper to you as Andre started to pick a bit of a fight with Alex making you laugh nervously, “Don’t worry. He loves you very much. I’ll try to contain Ovi at dinner. He doesn’t understand volume control.” he winked at you helping untangle the mess of knots in your stomach before grabbing Ovi by the shoulders and pushing him towards the exit with Braden trailing behind.

“We’ll see you at dinner!” he called behind him before disappearing down the hall

_X_

“No really! Every part of that story is true!” Andre assured the group of Caps laughing at the dinner table.

“You forgot the best part though,” you corrected, “ in Andre’s haste to put his number in my phone before my friend started puking everywhere, he mistyped and I thought he had given me a wrong number. It took two weeks of apparently him moping around before my friend managed to connect the dots and gave us the right numbers. Ever since then it’s been history.” you smiled at Andre who kissed you on the forehead which made you blush a startling shade of red.

Now that dinner has been served and you have spent the past hour and a half with Andre and almost half of his team you feel significantly better. You had a brief episode at the beginning of dinner when you sat down where you felt like you stuck out like a sore thumb and was wishing that a manhole would open up from under you and suck you sway from all these people. But then Tom Wilson sat down on your other side and proceeded to tell you embarassing stories of Andre that you had never heard before. Before you knew it you were giggling while all of the boys were trading locker room stories about everyone and then you took a risk and started to tell stories of ANdre from home. All the boys turned to you and were listening almost enraptured as you recounted the tales of Andre failing as an adult with your signature sarcastic humour. Within seconds you had the team hollering with laughter and you felt all of your nerves completely dissipate. When you finished your story as the meal had arrived you looked over at Andre who had a conflicted look of happiness that you were blending with his best friends and embarrassed that all of his not-so-finest moments were being shared.

You leaned back into Burky’s shoulder as the conversation moved to something about Ovi and Russia that you had stopped paying attention to awhile ago, “I love you.” you murmured up at him.

“I love you too.” he smiled, “but maybe next time we just stay in by ourselves?”

“Oh yeah? What caused this sudden change of heart” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“I discovered that I don’t like to share”

_X_

Up next: Auston Matthews!

anonymous asked:

ok so yesterday I met Christen, Tobin, Alex, HAO, krieger and Ashlyn after the USWNT practice. My friends and I actually really wanted to meet Christen and Alex because #caligirls lol. And we did!!! But we mostly got to talk to Christen though because there were a lot of fans around Alex and bby really wanted to get to everyone so adorable. Anyway so after Christen signed my poster I kinda whispered to her that she was my favorite forward and holy shit she was so adorable (cont)

(Cont) she was kinda shocked and she was blushing i stg. She is so humble for real. Anyway she thanked me and gave me a hug!!! And when my friend was talking to her it kind of got chaotic around Alex and omfg Christen and Tobin (who was talking to another group a few feet away) kind of gave each other a knowing look like I guess it happens all the time lol and they smiled at each other and Christen shook her head and laughed it was so cute!!! (Cont)

(Cont) and then after, I noticed Tobin kinda hung back a bit after she was done and I dunno if she waited for Christen but they walked back together. They looked really close! Like as friends (tho i am preath trash also. Hello captain hahaha) they looked like they really got along really well. (End)

WAIT STOP THIS IS ADORABLE I CANT

OmgCP Headcanon #3

The Falcs definitely think that Shitty is Jack’s boyfriend, because one time Tater came over to Jack’s apartment when Jack forgot to take down the post-its from Bitty (a.k.a. the ones signed “B”) and because Jack often refers to Shitty as either Knight, B. Knight or B (keeping things PG, y'know) so yeah. The Falcs are 99% sure that Shitty is Jack’s secret boyfriend, so that time the Falcs are over maybe after a game or something and Bitty comes in and habitually kisses Jack on the cheek before going into the kitchen (Jack is probably out to the team by now, but maybe he hasn’t introduced them to Bitty yet) and the team just dies because like “Zimmboni is cheater?!?!?!”
And then Jack has to deal with a whole other bunch of nonsense in which Marty just stares at him with that disappointed Dad stare and Tater looks so heartbroken Jack just kinda wants to punch whoever put that look on his face (but he can’t punch himself- also what exactly did he do he’s not actually sure). And Jack just kinda stares back, completely confused, until Poots speaks up and is all like “Jack, I didn’t pin you for the cheating type.” And Jack is even more confused while it’s kinda like a dam bursts and all the Falcs are talking over one another and it’s like “How would Knight feel, huh?”
And the Jack gets it. And Bitty, who’s standing in the doorway to the kitchen with an eyebrow raised and just staring like he’s watching either a train wreck in progress or the most captivating reality tv show ever, just bends over with his hands pressed to his mouth and trying desperately not to start giggling hysterically.
And then Jack proceeds to spend the next hour explaining everything slowly and carefully to the rest of the team (which involves a very rushed and hilarious Skype with a very naked and very stoned Shitty) and by the end of it the Falcs are suitably convinced and everyone has a slice of pie that they’re not really sure how they acquired but that’s okay because it’s amazing pie.
The story also goes down in history as one of the best locker room stories ever and one of the induction rituals is the veteran players keeping an eye on all the new rookies and waiting to see which of them made the same mistake that they did and then recording their reactions when they tell them who Jack’s boyfriend is. (Although this falls through after Jack finally officially comes out and Bitty becomes pretty well known. But there are still the few rare rookies who come in not knowing who Jack’s husband is and making the same mistake.)

Breaks [Theo Raeken x Reader]

Author’s Note: I have something I have to attend tomorrow morning but I’m awake writing Theo Raeken smut. I just. Do you see what I do for you all. Lol. Anyway, I actually am really tired, and I haven’t written actual smut in like, a really long time so it’s probably shitty and I’m sorry in advance. I’ve wanted to write for Theo for ages, and I’d be happier about being able to finally do so if it wasn’t currently one in the morning. Hope you enjoy this nonetheless!

Word Count: 1,884

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Cautionary Tales: Being a Queer Girl in YA Lit

My mom figured out I was queer when I tried to sneak a Julie Anne Peters book past her at Barnes and Noble. 

I’ve told this story before; it’s one I bring up when asked about my representation in YA lit. It’s relevant again today, since there’s been a fantastic discussion over on Twitter (that @dahlelama​ is Storifying if she hasn’t already) about how we treat queer girls in YA lit. 

I read a lot of YA as a teenager. As I’ve written before, when I was trying to figure out my sexuality, I turned to media. I snuck Geography Club in the library, I stayed up til 3am trying to catch The L Word at my grandma’s because her house was the only one that had LOGO. I was desperate for representation, desperate to see myself.

I couldn’t find me. At best, I found Peters’ books which my mother wouldn’t let me read; I found Alex Sanchez’s books which were about beautiful queer boys so I couldn’t relate; I found David Levithan’s books, which were about queer boys so I couldn’t relate; I found Malinda Lo’s books, which were set in fantastic societies, so I couldn’t relate. I was/am a huge lover of contemporary YA, but as a teen there were few contemporary stories about queer girls. 

There were plenty about queer boys. 

So the message I began to receive from queer YA, over and over and over, was this: Queer boys are a tragic love story; a swoonworthy ship. You are a cautionary tale and gossip in a locker room. Your story is not important. 

I began to distance myself from queer media and queer YA towards the end of high school, because it was all the same, swoonworthy boys and cautionary tales. It was Kurt and Blaine getting fanart and cute songs and an arc spanning… six seasons. It was Santana being outed by a straight boy who was praised as a hero, and not getting a multi-episode arc dedicated to her coming out or her relationship with Brittany. It was queer women, again, fighting for representation. It was being told, again, that queer girls don’t get to be difficult or complex, not in contemporary settings. We don’t get to be the best friend, even. We don’t get to be anything at all. 

I turned to fandom when I stopped reading queer YA. I stayed up late and wrote fanfiction about queer women that were already canon–Maureen and Joanne from Rent, Elphaba and Glinda from the Wicked book (if you squinted and looked at it sideways, which I did). But even in fandom the message was the same–boys kissing boys is swoony and cute and omgperfect. Girls kissing is "wait I’ve read all the f/f fics in this category surely there have to be more.”

If girls couldn’t be given space to be queer in fanfiction, where you could bend the rules and write what you wanted, where women wrote most of the stories, then where could we be queer? 

(There’s an excellent discussion @jhansenwrites​ tweeted about M/M in media and fanfic and how women fetishize gay men which you should also check out, as he says it better than I could).

Which brings me to today’s discussion, because I’m worried we’re still sending this message. 

The first time I saw myself as a queer woman represented wholly, authentically, and respectfully on the page was in e. m. danforth’s The Miseducation of Cameron Post, which I almost didn’t pick up because I was afraid it’d be like all the other contemporary queer girl YA I’d read. It’s also one of the only times I’ve seen myself, and I read that book three years ago. 

We’re getting more stories about queer girls, but not all of them are in realistic settings, and they aren’t as pushed as heavily as stories about queer boys are. We are not National Book Award Finalists. We are not Starred Kirkus Reviews. We were a Morris Finalist three years ago. We are not best-of-2015 lists in mainstream publications. We’re not cautionary tales anymore, thank God, but we’re still not important enough to get recognized. 

Others have discussed the reasons behind this. Internalized misogyny, how m/m books are “safe” for teen girls because there’s no pressure for them. These are valid and important discussions, and I think there’s truth in them. 

But we owe it to queer girls to publish and write stories about them. We owe it to them to say “You are not a cautionary tale. You are complex and messy and confused and happy and your story is valid and you are important, your story is important. You get to be the protagonist or the best friend, you get the girl, you are deserving of space.” 

We’re failing our girls if we don’t.

The night Bam Bam Bigelow punched a prostitute in the mouth
[1992]

Last night, a sentence was said to me that I had never heard. “Did I ever tell you about the time that Bam Bam Bigelow punched a whore in the Philippines?” I was aghast at the sentence but incredibly intrigued. Obviously, this is paraphrasing, but this is how the story went:

We were on a tour in the Philippines and it was me, Bam Bam Bigelow, Nikita Koloff, and Ron Bass. When we got to the hotel, we were told, “don’t leave the facilities, everything you need is here.” (Was it like, a hotel?) No, it was like a community, like a little town. Anyway, as soon as this was said, the first thing out of Bam Bam’s mouth was, “What about whores!?” The guy replied, “Everything you need is here.” Bam Bam shook his head, “Okay.”

We did the show, decent night… we get back to this place and there’s like 20 little Filipino whores there, just standing around. Bam Bam looks at one, says “How much for a blowjob?” She said “Fi dolla.” Bam Bam goes to the bar and changes a hundred dollars into fives! He comes back and sits down, waves at the girl and pulls his dick out. She kneels, motions (with both hands) at his dick and giggles at how small it is. Bam Bam goes *WHAM!* PUNCHES this girl right in the mouth! She falls back and her mouth is all bloody, but she hope right back up to her knees and starts sucking him off. Now, we’re all watching this happen, just in shock… especially when he gets done. Bam Bam grabs her by the hair, raises her head up, busts his load on her face, then he tosses her aside and yells, “NEXT!

Dude, we were DYING. Not only that, but he starts looking at us and asking, “Do you want one? Do you want?” like you’d buy a guy a beer. You know, (picks up a beer, waves it) “You want one? $5?”

@jeremy_zag: December 6 !!

I saw this during gym but I couldn’t do anything until I got proper freedom so I got real fidgety for that final hour of English.

Andres Iniesta: “Luis Enrique was the first player of the main team, with whom I met. When I was summoned to training with the first team, I didn’t know where the locker room. And he’s the first person, who was near. He drove me around in his car to the locker room. This little story had a great influence on our relations. We became real friends. I am glad that he came to the Barca, and I am sure, we will have a good season”

The time I got rasengan'd in a locker room

Okay, so this story goes back all the way to when I was in middle school, back in that time when it was still kinda normal to watch Naruto but starting to become weird. I had just gotten out of it and was going through this weird “anything animated is dumb” phase that I still don’t understand. I digress, this isn’t about me, this is about the most amazing encounter I’ve ever had with an anime nut.

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anonymous asked:

Can you tell the story of the first kiss in the locker room like a story with all the details? A lot of us want to know haha

Okay so here is how our first kiss went down.. The day before we were at practice and it was really warm and sunny so we all took our shirts off. I could not take my eyes off of Sarah the entire time. Oh my god she looked so good! 😍 I found out later that she couldn’t stop watching me either. We were talking about it over text that night and it was just a very very flirty conversation. The sexual tension between us the next day was just insane! We were changing for our track meet and as Sarah was walking away I grabbed her and spun her back around towards me. I pushed her up against the wall and before I could lean in to kiss her she had her arms around me pulling me into her. We kissed hard and fast then walked around the corner and out of the locker room like nothing happened! And that’s the kiss that started it all!

The Hall of Fame Speech Junior Seau’s Daughter Couldn’t Give

In his 20-year N.F.L. career, Junior Seau established himself as one of the game’s greatest linebackers. He committed suicide in 2012 at age 43 and was subsequently found to have had a degenerative brain condition linked to repeated hits to the head. Before his death, Seau told his daughter Sydney, 21, that she should speak on his behalf if he made it into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. But the Hall, citing a five-year-old policy of not letting others give full speeches for deceased inductees, did not allow Sydney to deliver her speech.

Recorded in her hotel room in Canton, Ohio, this is the speech Sydney had hoped to deliver on Saturday at the Pro Football Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

• • •

First off, I would like to thank the generous people of Canton, Ohio, for opening up their homes for this event, the Pro Football Hall of Fame committee for voting my father into the Hall, and of course the other seven deserving inductees.

Before I start thanking communities, teams, family and friends that I do know and many others that I have yet to have the pleasure of getting to know, I would like to say that this is not my speech to give. This speech was meant for a man that worked 20 years within the sport he loved most in this world.

I cannot speak for him because I am not him. I have not played in the N.F.L. for one second, let alone 20 years; I do not have past seasons to reminisce about or hilarious locker room stories to joke about. But I do have one thing, and that is unconditional love.

Your Junior Seau, your No. 55 and your buddy, was also my father. And although I didn’t know every aspect of his life, I did know one particular part very well. His athleticism and talent made him extraordinary enough to make it into the Hall, but it is his passion and heart that make him truly legendary and deserving of this tremendous honor. Tonight I would like to honor him and his legendary heart.

The two words that exemplify my dad the most are “passion” and “love.” Everything he achieved, accomplished or set his mind to was done with both qualities. In every situation — whether it be practice, a game, a family barbecue, an impromptu ukulele song or just a run on the Oceanside Strand — he always gave you all of himself because to him, there was never any other option.

I would like to think that his selflessness and ability to love unconditionally were instilled in him by his family. Nana, Papa, all my aunts, uncles, cousins, mother and brothers who share the Seau name, I know that he would say that this honor is also yours. You all were the motivation he needed to become a success. He wanted nothing more than to make you all proud, and I hope you know that without you he wouldn’t have been the man, the player or the father he was, and for that, I also thank you.

Being the first Polynesian and Samoan to make it into the Hall of Fame is such an accomplishment. He is proof that even a young boy from Oceanside can make his dreams a reality. All his success is a direct reflection of the Oceanside community and family that raised him and molded him into the man he became. Although he is the first Polynesian to make it into the Hall, I know he will not be the last.

San Diego, you are and always will be home. You have embraced my father with open arms and allowed him to carry on his athletic career, but more importantly the Junior Seau Foundation. In my mind, one of his greatest achievements was being able to give back to the community and home that gave him everything.

Looking back, it’s unbelievable because my father was an Oceanside Pirate, a U.S.C. Trojan, a Miami Dolphin, a New England Patriot, a San Diego Charger, and now he is, and forever will be, a Pro Football Hall of Famer. I think it’s safe to say that he has most definitely made it.

Even though he would never admit to retiring, I think this is the perfect final graduation. I say final graduation because in 2006, instead of retirement, my dad decided to graduate from being a Charger after 13 years. Today is the day he graduates from the game itself.

I think the point is, he could never fully retire from this game because that would indicate that he was quitting and you can’t quit something that is a part of who you are. Instead he graduates, and this is the diploma he has always dreamed of.

What keeps coming to mind when I think of him is the fact that he was basically superhuman. On the field he was relentless, hard-hitting, passionate and unstoppable. Off the field he was caring, gentle, hilarious and generous. On top of that he played within the league for 20 years, and that in itself is pretty exceptional.

But I think what we tend to forget about our favorite invincible, unstoppable, indestructible superhumans is the minor detail that they are also human. That is something that we all must endure today without his physical presence. We cannot celebrate his life and achievement without feeling the constant piece that’s missing.

May 2, 2012, we all endured a loss. Thousands lost their all-time favorite linebacker, hundreds lost their favorite Charger, tens lost their buddy, and four lost their father. The reason why this honor is so hard to accept is because we had always envisioned him still being here to accept it.

But something that we all cannot deny is that we are all still here. We can keep working today, we can keep building our tomorrows, and we can keep praying for the rest. This superhumanlike man truly blessed us with one of the most precious gifts he could have given. He gave us his time. With that time, I know he made one hell of an imprint on my life, and from the amount of emotion and love in this room, I think we all could say the same.

Something that is hard for me to admit to myself and to you all is the fact that I miss his singing. I miss his huge mangled hands strumming on his uke, playing the only five chords he knew, to the hundreds of songs he would attempt to sing off-key. I miss him calling me Beau, my girlie middle name, and I miss him hugging me too long and too tightly, almost to the point where I couldn’t breathe.

Yes, I witnessed his career and accomplishments as a pro athlete, but what I remember most is the way he made me feel. I can honestly say that he made me feel like I was the most important person in the world. The reason why I think he wanted me to present him is because I didn’t know his athletic career but I did know his heart, and I’m blessed to say that I felt his love for 18 beautiful years, and I still feel it to this day.

Dad, you gave us your time, your presence, your love, but most of all you gave us your heart. For that we honor you with this induction and this final graduation. I know at times it seemed as if everything you accomplished in life wasn’t enough, but today and every day since you held me in your arms for the first time, you weren’t just enough; you were more than enough. In fact, you were everything.

There’s nothing I want more than to see you walk up on stage, give me a hug and tell me that you love me one last time, but that isn’t our reality. You would always say you loved me, and even after I would respond and say I loved you, too, you would look me in the eyes and say, “I love you; do you hear me?”

Well, after this speech, I hope you can hear us when we say that we love you, and I hope that this induction can exemplify the fact that you were more than just Junior Seau — you were a light, and you’re still mine. This is your speech, your moment and your honor, and to say that I’m the most proud daughter on Earth would be an understatement. Congratulations, Dad; you made it.