locked out!

My next-door neighbours are driving me insane

I live next to a newly married couple and EVERY NIGHT this past week the wife has locked her husband out the house. Last night she locked him in the garage!! So every night I’ve been kept awake with him banging on the door and shouting to get in!!

TONIGHT (3:47AM) I look out the window and the husband has called a 24 hour emergency double glazer and HE - IS - USING - A - POWER SAW - ON - A - WINDOW ??

I live in a tiny english village THIS ISNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN??

Originally posted by icicesttouslesjoursmercredi

Tired of being woken up at ridiculous hours of the night, I locked Penelope out of my room and slept like a damn overfed baby. It was beautiful.

She’s acting like I abandoned her, but I don’t even care, because I feel like a real human today. 🙌🏻

Cruise Ship Crush Part 3

Josh Dun x reader

Read the rest: Part 1, Part 2

Summary: After seeing a horrific scene last night (cough, cough, Josh and April kissing), you decide to take a personal day off from work but it turns out differently than you imagined.

A/N: Even if you have already read the other parts, I’ve added gifs so yeah. Also, I should probably go work on the next chapter of Promise?….

“Y/N, open up!” Lina said from the other side of the door. When you had bolted from the party and locked yourself in your room, Lina had followed you and was currently banging on the door. 

Keep reading

immortale-bellezza  asked:

A couple friends and I were chilling one day and of corse the topic was about the Hogwarts houses . We had convinced each other to take the "what 2 houses are u" quiz that had been floating around facebook. I am a proud Slytherclaw and so when one of my friends asked me if I had to chose one house what would it be, and I said Slytherin. The desiding factor was the riddle to get into the ravenclaw common room. Am I the only one who thought this??? I suck at them, I'd be locked out all the time!


I had a dream last night where I was at my parent’s house and everyone was freaking out & locking the doors because some werewolves were roaming around. I panicked and helped them barricading the doors & windows; I could see them outside slowly lurking closer to the house until it hit me. Why was I scared? I’m the one who invited them over. I opened the door and yelled “Hi Harold!” and waved at a werewolf and he waved back at me enthusiastically. I woke up.

severelylackingsleep  asked:

♥ h u e

Special Edition Prompt For Father

Punch his face | Put a whoopie cushion on his chair | Eat his food | Steal all his good pens | Lock him out of the house | Touch his girlfriend | Insult him | Threaten Him | Threaten him gently in whispers | Prank call him over linkpearl | Scratch his hand after exactly 3 pets | Shed on his stuff | No displays of affection

Please no

Strangling in the woods | Murder by the sea | Dining and dashing | Throwing knives at gladiators mid fight | Burying a body | Getting Wasted | No dates

Would my character…
Be within 5 feet of them? Yes | No
Make a grossed out face at any thought of them having sex? Yes | No
Admit they don’t hate them first? Yes | No
Yell incoherently at them? Yes | No
Die for your character? Yes | No
Cheat your character out of their money? Yes | No
Lie to them? Yes | No
Rub their feet on the carpet and static shock them? Yes | No 

lance: sooo… do you have any secret talents

keith: no

shiro: keith memorized the dance AND lyrics to the hoedown throwdown when we were kids :)

keith, thru gritted teeth: SHIRO U WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE

lance: *sweats* d-damn,,,,