local-brands

I won't come into your store anymore, but no one else will either.

So I mentioned this story in a previous comment, and it was recommended that I post it here. So here we go…

A couple years back I bought my wife flowers for Valentine’s Day from a national florist that had affiliate florist shops all throughout the country (we’ll call the big company NF for national florist and the local florist LF). So the flowers get delivered, and they look like complete garbage. The arrangement was smaller than advertised, and the flowers were a few days from fresh and wilting. Now, in my opinion, it’s Valentine’s Day, the one day a year a florist NEEDS to be on point. So I call LF to complain. I wanted either a replacement arrangement, or a refund so I could go elsewhere to get decent looking flowers for my wife (the grocery store would have been better honestly).

When I called to complain, the person who answered the phone was very rude right from jump. I have to assume it was a crazy busy day for her, and my arrangement wasn’t the only one that had issues. The woman became very defensive, as if the flowers were a part of her soul and I was personally attacking it. I asked to speak to a manager, she replies “I’m the owner”. We continued to argue for the next couple minutes, when I threatened to stop payment on my CC. She said “alright, I’m going to refund you the money, but you’re NEVER allowed to step into my store again”. And hung up on me.

Alright bitch, I got you.

So I spend the next few hours on the phone with NF, bouncing all over the country from call center to call center moving one rung up the ladder of their corporate structure at a time. Until I get about 4 steps from the top, someone gives me a boost, and I got the actual number of the CEO of NF. I spend about 20 minutes on hold after speaking to the secretary and briefly explaining my situation.

I tell the CEO what happens, and he couldn’t have been nicer. I told him, I had ordered from different NF stores from many different states in the past, and was generally satisfied, and I felt like LF in no way represents the NF brand, and they should lose their affiliation. He did not immediately respond to that request, but said he would investigate the situation, and in the meantime send me flowers from a different florist locally within the NF brand. I received those flowers from a florist an hour away, within 2 hours, and they looked amazing. Better than I could have asked for. About 2 weeks later, I received a letter in the mail (I didn’t go into all this detail in my original comment, but the result is the same) and the letter apologized profusely, and thanked me for bringing this to their attention. Apparently, they keep tapes of the calls made to the florists, they reviewed the tapes and agreed, LF did not represent how NF wants to treat its customers, and LF will no longer be a part of the NF brand. He gave me a $250 gift card to any NF store.

Within 2 years, LF closed because it couldn’t support being an independent florist in this suburb when there was already another florist under the NF brand.

So, sure lady, I won’t step foot in your store again. But neither will anyone else.

The Ethical Sugar Baby

Brilliant news – your Sugar Daddy wants to take you shopping for some new designer gear -but wait – how do you know which designers are ethical?

It’s a complete myth that every Sugar Baby dreams of owning a fur stole and python skin handbag; there are plenty of Sugar Babies that don’t support the fur trade or cosmetic testing on animals, many more are concerned about environmental factors and the issue of child sweat shops.

With this in mind this article will provide you with a list of cutting edge and luxury designers, who won’t put a blot on your conscious.

Clothes

Stella McCartney – A lifelong vegetarian, Stella McCartney doesn’t use any fur or leather in her designs.

Leanne Mai-ly Hilgart (Vaute Couture) – the former Ford Model’s brand Vaute Couture (the v stands for vegan!) aims to create high-end fashion that is vegan, created from recycled fibres and produced locally. The brand is favoured by the likes of Emily Deschanel and Alicia Silverstone.

Vivienne Westwood – Doesn’t use real fur in any of her designs.

Tommy Hilfiger – Stopped using real fur in 2007.

Calvin Klein – One of the early adopters of animal friendly designs, Calvin Klein has opted for fake fur since 1994.

Shrimps – The zany London brand uses bright colours and faux fur to create a bold statement. A coat will cost around £600

Huit - an ethical swimwear brand committed to transporting goods by sea rather than air thus reducing their carbon footprint. Celebrity fans include; Kate Moss, Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller.

Shoes

Olsenhaus – Brainchild of Elizabeth Olsen, Olsenhouse creates shoes that are animal product free. Shoes range from £100 - £250.

Beyond Skin – Brighton based company selling vegan footwear. There’s a wide range of styles available. Prices start from £80 – £250. Natalie Portman has also been spotted wearing them.

Noah – Italian vegan leather - sounds like a dream come true! Noah offers a range of hand-made Italian shoes that are 100% vegan. Prices start from £100 - £250.  

Cult of Coquette – Vegan shoes that are made out of the most environmentally friendly materials available. The brand states its handmade shoes are for women who aren’t afraid to rock a heel.

Bags

Stella McCartney – A lifelong vegetarian, Stella McCartney doesn’t use any fur or leather in her designs.

Matt & Nat – The name Matt & Nat stands for Mat(t)erial and Nature, which is the ethos of the company. Patrons of the brand include Charlize Theron and Natalie Portman.

Melie Bianco – An affordable, chic, animal friendly range of handbags for every occasion; think Balenciaga, Celine and Miu Miu styles, but without the cruelty.

Wilby – All products are animal friendly and the brand is well known for being eco, and environmentally friendly. Prices Range from £40 - £120.

Accessories

Mirabelle - Worn by the likes of Kate Middleton, Mirabelle makes handmade fair trade jewellery. Think pretty pendants at reasonable prices.

Helen Moore –brightly coloured, patterned and innovative designs. She creates faux-fur clutches, muffs, collars and scarves. One of these fun accessories will cost £40 - £150.

Polly Wales - Polly uses vintage and rough jewels to produce unique and imperfectly perfect rings, necklaces and earrings. Her designs use ethically sourced gems that shun the use of child labour in diamond mines.

Please be aware that this guide is not exhaustive and is subject to change at any time. If you’re in any doubt – it’s best to e-mail the customer services department of the brand you are interested in and ask for their policies and commitments to animal and human welfare.

I hope this guide was useful and you (or your Sugar Daddy!) can enjoy shopping for some ethical high-end luxury!

~ KittensPeach ~ x

Monsta X reaction to their s/o answering them with something their s/o would not normally say

requested by anon : “ Monsta X reaction that their s/o is eating a sweet and they ask how it tastes and s/o says “Well why don’t you come over here and find out for yourself” but that is not something s/o would normally say. Thank you!”

masterlist


Originally posted by garisanee

Shownu; The two of you were just lounging at the living room while snacking on some sweets when Shownu asked you how it tastes. But when he’d hear your answer, he’d get turned on to be honest like you’re like testing him or something. Shownu would smirk and would approach you right away and would actually taste the sweet by kissing you, his tongue would be roaming around your mouth until it gets pretty heated that the two of you would pull away, breathless and you’d be laughing your ass out when Shownu tells you that it was too sweet for his liking.

Baby, how does that chocolate taste?”

Well, why don’t you come over here and find out for yourself . *casually plops a piece of chocolate in your mouth*”

“Okay, if that’s what you want.. *cups your cheeks and kisses you, biting on your lower lip, making you part your lips and allowing him to explore while getting a faint taste of  the chocolate*”

“*pulls away* It’s too sweet for my liking tho…”

“*laughs* Why don’t we just push this sweets aside and continue this, aye? *wink*”

“Fine by me. *the rest is history lol*”

Originally posted by monstalways

Wonho; You were busy tasting the sweets that you’ve got from Japan when Wonho asked you how the sweets taste, only to receive that respond from you. Wonho would burst out into a smile, since he’d find it amusing to hear that from you. He’d peek his head in the kitchen and flash you a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows at you, asking if you’re trying to turn him on or what. But then he’d somewhat whine when you told him that he can only taste one candy since… you were going to save the others. Wonho, however, would do the most unexpected thing to be honest that it’d leave you speechless.

Well, why don’t you come over here and find out for yourself.”

“Ohoho, are you trying to turn me on or send me some hidden message? *winks*”

“Whatever, Hoseok. You’ll be getting only one candy babe since I’ll be saving them up for the party this weekend.”

“Alright… *approaches you and casually snake his arm around your waist and faces you* Well then, let’s see if it’s yummy or what. *kisses you and steals the candy away from you with the use of his tongue*”

“Babe! T-that’s mine and… hey!! *blushing blushing, gives Wonho a smack on the arm* God, I was gonna give you one! You didn’t have to steal it from me tho…”

Originally posted by shownhyuk

Minhyuk; Minhyuk was busy playing Overwatch when he caught a glimpse of you trying out this new sweet from a local brand. He’d ask you how it tastes and when you replied to him, he’d be silent for a while before reacting with wide eyes, shock present in his voice. He’d be stopping his game so that he could look at you with wide eyes. He’d be so speechless that he’d only be able to utter a word after you get his attention. He’d go to and get a piece of the sweet that you’re eating and would walk back to his computer with a puzzled look.

Babe, how does that new sweet taste? *totally immersed with his game*”

Why don’t you come over here and find out for yourself.” 

“…… *blinks then finally realizes what he just heard* E-eh?! Come again, babe?”

“ I said why don’t you come over here and find out for yourself.”

“*pauses his game and turns around to look at you with wide eyes*……”

“Babe, are you gonna taste this or what?”

“A-ah… yeah.. *goes to you and gets a piece before walking back to his seat* I don’t think I can focus with my game anymore… *goes back to you*”

Originally posted by gifsmonstax

Kihyun; The moment those words left your lips, Kihyun would be looking at you in disbelief before letting out a fruity laugh. He never expected that side of yours. He’d stop with what he was doing (doing his usual face care routine). Kihyun would be really excited when approaches you, asking you if are you really sure that you want him to go there and try it for himself while having a sly grin. And when you nodded your head, Kihyun would cock his head before murmuring an ‘alright’, and pinning you down on the bed with his lips crashing onto your lips.

So baby, is that sweet delicious or what? How does it taste? *pats his cheeks after spreading the cream on his skin*”

Why don’t you come over here and find out for yourself.”

“*stops and laughs* Are you sure you want me to go there and try it, huh? *smirking while having thousands of racy thoughts in his mind*”

“*nods* Oh..”

“Alright… *walks over to your side and pins you down in the bed, crashes his lips onto yours and makes it into a heated makeout session*”


Originally posted by hyungvon

Hyungwon; Hyungwon was just lying down on the couch while you were busy watching some kdrama on your laptop when he asked you how the sweets tasted, only to be surprised by your response. He’d be laughing his heart out before Chae Pepe comes out from his shell. He’d have a teasing look before he proceeds in to sitting right beside you with his arm stretched behind your back. He’d wait for your answer and when finally gets his answer, he’d be nodding his head as he tried to stifle a laugh. But when you offered him a piece, he’d kiss you and pull away right away before taking the sweet into his mouth, going back to the couch while looking at your flushed face.

Yah, [y/n], baby, honey, munchkin…. how does that sweet taste?”

“Secret. Why don’t you come over here and find out for yourself.”

“Ohohohoho *laughs* are you sure about that, babe? *walks towards you and takes a seat beside you*”

“Yeah. *looks at him and offers him a piece*”

“Alright.. *nods his head before kissing you on the lips and pulls away and takes the sweet into his mouth* It’s good. *walks back to the couch while laughing*”

Originally posted by shinhoseok

Jooheon; The two of you were just hanging out in his studio when he catches you eating some sweet that he has never seen before. When he asked you how it tastes, he’d be pretty surprised yet speechless by your answer. He’d burst out laughing before whining his ass out. He’d act cutesy fartsy with you, telling you to just give him a piece since he can’t get his butt out of his chair. When you didn’t budge from his request, he’d stand up and continue whining until you fed him a piece, making him do a cute dance before returning to a serious look, asking you what’s gotten in to you.

Oh? What’s that?”

“A candy.”

“How does it taste babe?”

Well, why don’t you come over here and find out for yourself. *teases him with the candy*”

“Aiighhhh, babeeee, can’t you just feed me a piece or what? *whines whines*”

“No.”

“*stands up while throwing a cute fit* Huhuhuu babe, pleaseee~~ Just feed me. *gets fed by you* Ohohoho, it’s yummy…. but wait… what’s gotten into you tho?”

Originally posted by bts-bap-trash

I.M; Changkyun and you were in the midst of doing some chores after getting scolded by Kihyun when he saw you plop some sweet inside your mouth, making him look at you with envy. At first he’d ask you what you’re eating then how does it taste. When you told him your answer, he’d give you that look in the gif before asking you if you want to do the chores later and do something fun instead in his room, only to receive a glare from you, making him give up and ask for a piece as he approached you, only to be rejected by you. He’d look at you in shock.

*sees you eating* Hey, what’s that? How does it taste? *wipe wipe wipe like cinderella*”

“It’s the new thing that Lotte has produced.  How does it taste? Huh, why don’t you come over here and find out for yourself. *wipe wipe wipe*”

“Ohohoho, are you implying that we should go to my room and *does that face in the gif* you know.~ *wink*”

“No and just get over here if you want to taste it.

“All right… *walks towards you and asks for a piece* Can i have mine now?”

“No. *sticks a tongue out to him, only to burst out laughing because of his reaction* Okay, fine, here you go.”

“*pouts his lips before going back to his place and plops the sweet in his mouth* hmph..”

I grew up with the Bible. I learnt about Jesus, Esther and Ruth. On the television, Barney played on Kids’ Central. Sam was my favourite character on Totally Spies. The only Singaporean original kids’ show I remember watching is R.E.M.— Rachel, Ee Ching and Mo. Even then, the English was proper: British English, or at least an imitation of it, because, of course, Singapore had once been under colonial rule, and now English is our official language. No Singlish, teachers say. No lahs, no lors, no mehs. Don’t use Singlish in your oral. Don’t write it in your compositions. It’s not ‘Can I go to the toilet?’; it’s ‘May I use the bathroom?’. Even in Catherine Lim books, Singlish is italicised, isn’t it? to throw you off, emphasising how its Singlish words aren’t proper words, only bastardisations of the language by us quirky Singaporeans, trying so hard to be Western. Are we? What does it mean if we are?

Compare this: “We are not going, lah.”
To this: “We are not going lah.”

When you come across a comma, you pause, of course. But we don’t pause when we use ‘lah’. Singlish is a staccato language, quick and to the point. Why, then, should I pause before the ‘lah’?

If you Google ‘lah’, the first result that appears is, and I have reproduced it here: “"lah" in Singlish is a discourse particle in Linguistics terms, that is, a word or a particle that does not change the semantic meaning of the sentence, but for pragmatic functions such as indicating tone. Examples of Usage: “There’s something here for everyone lah.” (“There IS something here for everyone.”)” I largely agree with this definition. It is used to emphasise something, but the word itself is not emphasised. The thing about Singlish is that every word is unstressed. It is flat, monotone. It is a bored language, but it is not boring. The reason it is italicised so much is because it’s still not seen as “proper English”, even after we’ve been speaking it for decades. Years after the British abandoned us during the war, we are still not comfortable with our identity. We are, in a way, still the colonised subject looking up to its master. Why am I not writing this essay the way I speak? Why am I censoring myself?

If Singlish is a conglomeration of English, Malay, Tamil, Chinese and other assorted dialects, why can’t we treat Singlish as a language itself and normalise it? When I say gostan, must I italicise that too? Isn’t language a mutable construct? Isn’t English itself a potluck of words from different cultures? Why aren’t we proud that all of us are at least bilingual and this, combined with our multi-racial environment, influences the way we speak? Why is this cause for shame and why are we rejecting it?

I feel a disconnect with my heritage. I am Singaporean Chinese, but what stories do I have to tell? What folklore do I know? How much have I lost? I only learnt about 女郎织女 when I was 17, after watching 爱情合约, a Taiwanese drama, after I re-watched 流星花园, which I’d watched with my grandmother when I was 8. What other elements of Chinese mythology can I tell you about? I don’t know; I know too little to remember. I lived with my grandparents as a child for many years, and stayed over on weekends for years after that. I understand Hokkien because of that, but when I try to speak it, I cannot form the words. Everything slips away, and I feel more detached than ever. I can say ‘makan’ without a thought but it takes me a second to remember ‘jiak peng’. But I know how to speak it. I’m just afraid to forget. My grandparents can speak English pretty well, so my brother, having never stayed with them for any period of time, cannot understand Hokkien, and neither can my cousins. At home, we speak English as well. (Singlish? I’m not sure what to label it as.) In school, my Chinese was always bad. How dare I call it my mother tongue when I hesitate to order food from the fishball noodle uncle at the kopitiam?

There is currently a Speak Good English campaign and has been since 2000. Before that, there was the Speak Mandarin campaign in 1979. Funny Singapore, with all its campaigns. Even today, 3 March 2017, Cantonese or Hokkien shows are dubbed over in Mandarin. It is only recently that Singlish has been touted as our national identity, and local brands—even the army!— are using Singlish to be more relatable. I am glad about this, but I am afraid that maybe it might be too late. The pioneer generation, the ones here when Singapore was recovering from the war and had just achieved independence, are fading. Do we expect them to live forever and preserve our culture and heritage for us? Do we care?

The hawker centres are being replaced, torn down or commercialised. The Sungei Road flea market will soon be gone. There’s a suggestion of having a permanent pasar malam at Marina Bay Sands, which would actually be the total opposite of what a pasar malam is. Why not preserve and sustain culture? Why only seek to memorialise it instead of learning how to progress and retain our heritage at the same time? If lobster, once seen as a poor man’s dish, can now become a delicacy, why can’t we learn to accommodate our modernisation with our collective history? Must we always separate the two? In marketing ourselves as an economically stable and progressive nation, do we have to pretend we are who left us?

—  Venetta Octavia, from an essay titled “National Trauma”
5

8 at home

I’m happy to be home from my 4th consecutive week on the road. The taper has officially begun for next week’s marathon so we only ran 8 this morning.

We joined the run club at the Elm Creek Park Reserve. This is a great place to run paved trails that traverse 4,900 acres (6x larger than NYC Central Park). The park includes ski facilities and a great lodge (bathroom always open!). Taxes are high in Minnesota but in exchange we get great facilities like this. It’s a bargain.

Our daughter is home from college for a short visit. While at the grocery store she pointed out packages she helped design while interning with a local branding agency. Nice to see the tuition $$$ paying off!

Berlin Tempelhofer Ufer in March 1979. This is a view from the overhead U-Bahn line at Hallesches Tor with the Landwehrkanal in the foreground. In the battered and half-repaired house centre there is a bar called “Berliner Kindl Zur Post”, referring to a local brand of beer and the post office next door. The post office is built in the German National Romantic Style (heimatstil), of which there are a few good examples in Berlin. I may try and photograph some of them when I am in Berlin soon.

Untrained temps may seem cheap, but ONLY untrained temps spell disaster or; Bad Management Is International

I have worked retail in a store which is (in Belgium) sort of a Walmart, I think? You can find clothes and crafts and food and deco and whatever, and it’s all crazy cheap. A local chapter of the brand would open in a town nearby, and I applied for a job called ‘customer helper’ (I speak multiple languages and love helping people) and was accepted.

I’ll give a rather short explanation of everything that was wrong with, well, everything. Except the customers. The customers were pretty polite, especially for the circumstances.

1) The first day we were called to be there turned out to be opening day. The training in advance we were promised hadn’t happened and was procrastinated ad infinitum. The company wanted to earn back the cost of opening a new chapter store, I guess, by hiring only cheap untrained temps, bc training hours were paid and also trained temps get slightly higher pay. Maybe they thought they’d get away with it bc it was a small town and a small store. Maybe they thought that we would learn how to do our task without having to be officially trained. Who knows, but their greedy/bad management would come to bite them in the ass later.

2) We were told to be at the storefront 45 minutes before opening time. What nobody explained was that company policy said that anyone who wasn’t there BY 45 minutes before opening time wouldn’t be let in. None of the temps knew this. We were locked out for like twenty minutes, at FIVE FUCKING AM IN WINTER (nothing else was open, v sleepy town). So all the untrained temps piled in two people’s cars until we were let in. We also had to leave our stuff in our cars bc the employee room didnt have lockers for temps.

It was a newly opened store, but only two people had actually worked in that chain before. Meaning there had been two people who’d been on time. Meaning we had to get everything ready for opening in 15 minutes, all without any knowledge of what the fuck was going on, what went where and who did what. Meaning there was maybe one minute of explanation of your task per person, and then we were thrown headfirst into the opening weekend.

2) The lines at the tills were suuuuper long bc, again, no one had been trained for the till. They were understandably slow with everything, and made a lot of mistakes, and needed the two experienced people there constantly. There were also a shitload of people curious about the new store (the walmart, everything-of-ever-kind-in-one-place kind of store is not very common round here), and there were more people at once than the store was made to handle. This overpopulation of customers and underpopulation of experienced people at the tills went on for weeks. I had extreme pity for the people at the till cuz they bore the brunt of the greed/ineptitude of whoever decided hiring cheap untrained temps for all but two positions in the whole store was a good idea.

3) They set me to work doing ‘mirroring shelves’ in the clothes section (cleaning the shelves up, putting damages stuff away, placing stuff back where it belonged which is REALLY HARD TO DO when you haven’t even been in the store before). That task wasn’t even in the job description. I didn’t even know what mirroring was before they gave me that task.

I was specifically hired not for stock, or till, but for welcoming customers to the new store, telling them where they could find stuff, helping them find specific products, explaining store policies, and shit.

I hadn’t ever been in the store before, so I didn’t know my way around, and couldn’t help anyone. And if I did try to help someone I was told off for wasting time and dodging the task I was given ??? You specifically hired me as a store helper??? That’s what I was interviewed for ???

I was out of my depth constantly. There had been no training in advance beyond a pamphlet on clothing and behaviour policy, so the experienced people were running around every single minute trying to fix everything, bc there was just no time to teach us anything beyond the basics. 

Because of the uniform ( i was given a helper uniform, with the tag and everything), of course customers would ask me questions. But I couldn’t answer them because I had seen even less of the store than they had bc the supervisor put me to ‘mirroring shelves’, and if I did try to help someone I was told off for not doing my job and wasting time.  

4) We had to almost physically push people out by the end of the day, and then had to clean everything bc there was no cleaning staff. This meant we had extremely long, extremely stressful hours, and we didn’t half get paid enough for it.

5) And my biggest annoyance:

I was never moved out of the clothing section and had to help people as fast as I could in between keeping my section up to standard, which was so endless and frustrating it might as well have been a punishment from zeus.

For weeks I had to throw away perfectly serviceable clothes bc opened clothing packages were counted as damaged and we weren’t allowed to sell it. We couldn’t even donate them, we HAD to throw them away. But we also weren’t allowed to hang warning signs by company policy, because that would render the store athmosphere 'less welcoming’. It’s a store with concrete floors, too bright lights, not enough employees, too many customers and no music at all. How much less welcoming could you get?!

It was just such an awful waste of decent clothes. How many people could we have helped?? How low and cheap do you have to go?!

None of these problems were solved btw. We never were officially trained for anything and just sort of did what we thought was best. Things slightly improved bc we did sorta start figuring things out eventually, but working conditions were still shitty. Every temp would eventually request not to be stationed there anymore after a month (at most) which meant new temps had to be hired, who were clueless, and were never trained, and were always overworked bc the store was always short on people, and they would quit eventually. And so it started again. I dropped out after like, three weeks.

Of course, the constantly clueless employees led to long lines and a chaotic store and many complaints and very few customers returned once the novelty died out. It was a small town, and there were much nicer stores. The price difference just wasn’t worth the awful shopping experience. The store shut down after less than a year. Served them right!

tldr; never underestimate the power of enough experienced people, don’t take shortcuts (definitely not on opening weekend), greedy/inept management is international

D6 non-encounters! (with possible plot hooks)

By Applejaxc: 

Here are 5 monsters and a bonus 6th item [because there’s no d5, and d4 seemed too low effort] for your party to encounter. If you have a party of murder-hobos like I do, hopefully this will give them the opportunity to see the good in Evil. Otherwise you can verbally chastise them when you show the underlined part of your notes that says “not a combat encounter.”

1 That’s no innkeeper!

This one is relatively simple: The next innkeeper, store proprietor, librarian, or exposition-giving NPC is a succubi/incubi. And not the sinister, disguised-as-an-attractive-cuckholder type that plots the destruction and ruination of mortals. In fact, the NPC isn’t disguised at all; s/he has his/her tail and horns visible at all times, as well as a magic, glowing symbol of the local Good god branded on his/her face.

Nearby is a paladin of a respectable holy order, the same symbol proudly emblazoned on the chest, who claims to be “guiding the demon to salvation.” By forcing the creature to display its demonic lineage clearly, it forgets its desire to conceal and deceive; by branding it with a magic symbol, it has a 24/7 reminder of what glory and righteousness looks like, and the consequences of denying it. Once the succubi/incubi completes its journey to consecration, the brand disappears, and it is transformed into a beautiful angel (or deva, or whatever tf Gygax makes next).

The challenge here is for the party not to assume it’s all a ruse, that the succubi/incubi is either faking cooperation or that the paladin itself is an even more sinister villain pretending to have the demon under control. Either way, the demon flips between flirting and insulting, as it is difficult to resist its natural instincts and the constant chastising of the paladin tends to put the demon in a foul mood. If a party member attempts to attack the demon, it will fight back-and so will the paladin.

2 Didn’t Aesop write this?

I saw it on Tom and Jerry first, so who cares

The party finds a bear trap, covered in blood and floating a few inches off the ground. It appears to have caught an invisible creature! - no, wait, there’s a Displacer Beast a foot away, laying on its side, with one leg in the air.

The party can choose to remove the bear trap from the displacer beast, which requires a simple DC 13 strength check, but the DB assumes the party is responsible for the trap and attacks (with magical displacer beast advantage that ignores the fact that the bear trap would totally defeat the displacement ability). If the party has the foresight to first engage the Displacer Beast in conversation (using any combination of Deception, Persuasion, and/or Intimidation) they can attempt to convince the creature not to attack.

A Good party gets the satisfaction of knowing they helped a creature in need, and may have helped convert an Evil monster. A Neutral party is a bunch of annoying anarchists so who cares. An Evil party may have gained a new animal companion. Either way, consider having the Displacer Beast appear at a crucial time in a fight later in the adventure to repay the party’s kindness (or several displacer beasts, if 1 isn’t enough to appreciably tip the scales). A Good party can’t expect to receive that benefit again, though.

3 Aaah! Kill it just to be safe!

Unfortunately I get that response to this random encounter constantly

The party encounters a chest with centipede legs desperately trying to get through a closed door. It continuously bumps into the door, scuttles back, and bumps into it again. This is so loud, in fact, that the party can hear a rhythmic thump…thump… from a room away. This chest is, of course, a mimic-but not the evil kind that eats the hands of anyone that reaches inside.

The mimic does not respond to being spoken to, prodded, or even attacked. It just wants to get through the door. The party can even attempt to open to chest-though doing so only reveals an impossibly deep void, in which any placed inanimate objects disappear.

If the party opens the door, the chest scuttles inside and begins cleaning. The next room (in addition to its regular contents, which you as the DM should be designing, not relying on a random table, shame on you, jk I do the same thing) is dirty. In a dungeon, this might mean bones, rotting flesh, cobwebs, and scraps of clothing; in a noble’s estate, this might mean soiled towels and platters of unfinished meals. Either way, a large, prehensile, tongue-like, slimy muscle extends out of the chest, sticks to various objects, and pulls them in like a frog’s tongue.

The chest continues to do this so long as it does not reach another obstacle. If the party does anything to produce a mess (such as discarding an empty vial of Cure Wounds or breaking a trap), the mimic is not far behind-and quickly sets to cleaning! Not only does this mean that the party has all of its footprints mopped up (making them harder to track indoors), but if the mimic survives the rest of the adventure, it follows the party wherever they go.

This leads to two possibilities:

  1. The party discovers a means of retrieving items stored in the mimic. If that is the case, they have received a much more interesting version of the Bag of Holding, which takes 10% of all stored coins/gems in exchange for being able to protect itself, protect the party when it sleeps, and entertainment.
  2. The mimic’s endless void contains a phylactery of your campaign’s eventual BBEG. The only way to destroy the BBEG and save the world is to sacrifice the mimic. If you RP the mimic right, this should be a crushing, tear-jerking decision.

4 Do you want to play a game?

The party encounters a sentient plant, mushroom, speaking animal, or similar, nonthreatening, small creature that asks if any party member would like to play “Poker.” The game consists of two contestants throwing a stone and declaring a number, in turn. Whoever declares the highest number wins. You could have the encountered creature know the answer to a riddle or a vital piece of information which the party must win through a best 2 out of 3, or this can be a brief and nonsensical aside in the middle of a dungeon desperate for comedic relief.

The creature is only capable of declaring numbers in Common, and will accuse anyone who uses numbers in any other language of cheating. That being said, a party member can say anything and convince the creature on a DC 10 Deception check that it’s a higher number-even if the party member said a lower number.

5 The Half-Dead Drow

This adventure suddenly got a lot worse.

The party encounters a severely injured Drow Elite Warrior who claims to be on a quest to hunt down an exiled Drider, which he claims has gone into hiding nearby. He encountered the Drider, another monster, or a trap which has left him too damaged to continue. If the party kills him (it’s not that far fetched of a possibility) he has on his person a vial of Spider Repellent, which functions like the Fear spell, except with no saving throw and can only be used to target arachnid-like creatures. If the party offers to heal his wounds and/or take up the quest, he gives them the vial and becomes a short term ally.

You can either choose to add a drider to your random encounters list for the same adventure (if your party is strong enough and has enough time to fight one), or you can add it to your wider random encounters list, or you can let the party hunt down the drider after the current adventure is finished.

6 But, I’m not dead!

The party encounters a ghost.

The ghost incorporeal, with most of its features fading off into whispy nothingness. They can make out enough features to tell that in life the ghost was a modestly attractive half-elf woman, who calls herself “Isael.” She has a rattling, persistent cough and a very pleasant disposition. She’s excited to meet new people, especially wizards and sorcerers. She can identify any kind of spell caster that she can see, and doesn’t react well to divine spell casters or warlocks.

Isael is waiting for her father. The party can infer that she has been waiting for her father for a very long time. She refers to the land around her with natural features that no longer exist (complimenting trees that have been cut down, or a lawn that hasn’t been trimmed), and refers to various people who are no longer around (a baker whose shop is abandoned, a nearby monster that has been slain).

Isael says that when she got sick, her father left to go find medicine. She promised him that she would wait for him to return, and she wouldn’t leave until he did.

Any attempts to convince Isael that she is dead (even irrefutable evidence, such as sticking an arm through her) confuses or infuriates her. Her response can be as mild as childish insults (her vocabulary doesn’t include anything vulgar) to a random 1st-3rd level nonlethal spell.

If the party is nice to Isael, she is capable of casting Mass Cure Wounds once, and Goodberry enough times to feed the party once. If they offer to cure her cough, she’ll “leave to go tell father I’m okay”; if they offer to find her father, she isn’t able to offer any helpful clues, as it has been an untold number of years since his disappearance.

Taking Care of Business

(phone rings, INTJ ignores it, doesn’t recognize the number)

(same number calls again, Afghanistan area code)

INTJ: Stupid telemarketers.

(same number calls again)

INTJ: I have no idea who this is but whoever you are I do not want your product or-

Terrorists: Hello Infidel, we have kidnapped your friend.

INTJ: I have friends?

“Friend”: I know your phone number.

INTJ: Excellent point, that is some Fort Knox shit there.

Terrorists: For one million dollars, you filthy American Infidel, we will return-

INTJ: You want that much? Seriously, look at what you kidnapped.

Terrorists: I think this is the wrong number.

INTJ: With the prices that you’re charging it’s no wonder that you’re not moving inventory.

“Friend”: You are aware of the fact that you are on speaker phone.

INTJ: Also, there are better ways to achieve your organizational goals. What is your organization’s goal or mission statement?

Terrorists: Uhh….

INTJ: Do you have a slogan, logo? You need good branding before you can have a good branding strategy, seriously, who am I talking to here? What makes you stand out?

Terrorists: We didn’t think about that before we became terrorists.

INTJ: I understand, most people don’t think about a lot of things before they become terrorists. But your do have one thing.

Terrorists: A valuable hostage?

INTJ: No, passion. Passion is great to have, but it doesn’t make a solution magically appear, however, it can drive you to find one.

Terrorists: I am writing that down, it is an excellent quote.

“Friend”: I would like to use one of my other lifelines.

Terrorists: No, we like this one.

INTJ: What you have is a really exciting, potentially explosive concept. You could make a big impact-

“Friend”: She knows that those are really dark puns but she’s using them anyway.

INTJ: I am negotiating with the startup, what is the name of your organization?

Terrorists: Al Shasteve.

INTJ: You need to work on the name.

Terrorists: I know.

“Friend”: Stop helping the terrorists!

INTJ: Hey, you didn’t get kidnapped by Al Qaeda or ISIS.

Terrorists: What are you implying extremely helpful infidel?

INTJ: I’m implying that you could be on that level, you could be Al Qaeda, or ISIS, or Hezbollah even, I assume that you want your organization to grow and develop, be a worldwide brand?

Terrorists: Yes, we want to be on CNN, but how?

INTJ: It’s a combination of brand connectivity and awareness, what’s your story, what makes you human, relatable to your audience?

Terrorists: We want to connect with our local audience and kill our international audience.

INTJ: On the surface those are counter intuitive, but they could work together.

“Friend”: How?

INTJ: That is an excellent question, the simple answer is, they both involve engagement, engagement would be much easier with your international audience because you’re trying to kill them.

Terrorists: They will be very scared of us.

INTJ: But your local audience, how will they connect and condone you killing your international audience?

Terrorists: We’re locally owned and operated, we share the same beliefs, have the same problems, want to solve them. By problems I mean infidels like you, and you!

“Friend”: I’m sorry, your English is excellent!

INTJ: Those are all excellent aspects of your organizations that any killer organization should possess.

“Friend”: Really?

INTJ: What you need are local brand ambassadors and evangelists, local businesses and organizations need to connect on a local level in order to succeed. I assume that you have a recruiting department.

Terrorists: We do, but, all the other terrorists join other terrorists, who aren’t us.

INTJ: That’s a completely different subject, but long story short, you need to invest in recruiting, if you have the top talent and top recruits, you will be on top. Have you considered affiliate marketing? In return, being somehow affiliated, or at least endorsed, acknowledges your organization’s worth as a quality organization. Also knowing that your competition thinks you’re competition is a real confidence boost.

Terrorists: Also…brand awareness?

INTJ: Exactly, brand awareness, free marketing! See, you have to invest in it at first, but the dividends and return. You are catching on Al Shasteve.

“Friends”: Whatever they say, don’t explain incentivization to them.

Terrorists: Why not, why not helpful infidel?

INTJ: Well, with your unique startup I’m not sure that would be a good idea, it could be disastrous for you, your competition could turn that against you. You don’t want to scare away your audience, with however, you’d convince, or forcibly earn someone’s loyalty. Also, you can’t hack growth and have genuine growth.

Terrorists: You are very wise and just saved us the trouble of taking many lives. Would you like to negotiate for your friend’s release now?

INTJ: Oh, that, sorry, we were just having such a great, valuable conversation, does she want to come back?

Terrorists: The helpful infidel wants to know if you want to come back.

“Friend”: She’s not my favorite person now and I am totally reporting her to the FBI now but yes.

INTJ: Well if it’s going to be-

Terrorists: Wait, don’t hang up, you’ve been so helpful to us, we’d feel bad if you got absolutely nothing out of this.

INTJ: You’re right, the terrorists are right, tell the nice terrorists thank you.

“Friend”: Thank you nice terrorists.

Terrorists: You are welcome, so, One million dollars.

INTJ: That’s a bit high for me, I gave you a good $999,999 in advice. Also, you need to build up your brand and associate it with such a high price tag. You should aspire to be a real luxury brand. Think about it, a purse is basically a purse, but with a certain name on it, convince your consumer that you are that good, with what you have there and being a startup and all.

“Friend”: Tell my mother I love her.

INTJ: What I’m saying is this could be a great opportunity for you, have you kidnapped anyone else for ransom money before?

Terrorists: Yes, but they died.

INTJ: Ahhh, well I have some idea what could have happened.

Terrorists: You do, we’re terrorists. Very bad terrorists.

INTJ: But do you want that mess again? This is a prime chance to develop your negotiating skills. A paid ransom for a living person is very important for your business model. It also cleans up your reputation, and saves you quiet the cleanup, she is just going to splatter everywhere. That’s not halal.

Terrorists: Caves are hard to clean.

INTJ: And she can tell the west how truly terrifying and threatening you are, right?

“Friend”: Yes, brand evangelism.

INTJ: To an international audience that you could probably not afford to reach with paid advertisement currently. She could be so very useful for once.

“Friend”: That’s right, I’ll be so…what do you mean for once?

INTJ: I think she’s only worth $10,000.

Terrorists: We need more than that.

INTJ: You see that’s the thing, when you start a business, you think money is everything, but there are valuable free, literal and metaphorical resources that matter too. Also, where would that money go? You might think that things like administrative costs and travel expenses are at the forefront now, but no, in fact, make a list, decide the minimal amount you’d need. You’re going to have to be creative, but what small business isn’t at this stage? Also, a small amount of money could get to you faster than a large amount, and cover immediate pressing expenses.

Terrorists: We could kidnap other people.

INTJ: More valuable people.

Terrorists: And be like a luxury brand?

INTJ: Yes, and then you’d have her, on CNN, you know, what you have coming together here is a real strategy for growth.

Terrorists: When you put it that way.

“Friend”: This is your nice way of saying I’m not worth that much to you but I agree with you and it’s working.

INTJ: Whatever lets everybody win, huh?

Terrorists: We do need to get rid of her, she is getting kind of annoying.

INTJ: I know right, good job incentivizing and promoting a sense of urgency.

“Friend”: Yes, I wasn’t just scared because I was kidnapped by terrorists at all.

INTJ: Personally, I think she has great sales skills, $50,000, and her and I launch a promotional campaign for the hottest new terrorist group, Al Shasteve?

Terrorists: $100,000 and the promotional campaign.

INTJ: You’ve had to put up with her for at least a week.

“Friend”: Three, did you not see that I wasn’t active on Facebook at all?

INTJ: Oh, you’re on Facebook? (pretending not to know) I’ve been, busy.

“Friend”: You manage Facebook pages and make Facebook ads, you have to have a Facebook account!

Terrorists: $90,000 you have an excellent point, you’re the one who’d really be paying.

INTJ: I know right, I saw on one of my friend’s pages that she just posts so much, it’s like, get a life, scoff, $75,000.

Terrorists: $80,000 and you have to become Facebook friends with her.

INTJ: $75,001. She asks for prayers and demands likes.

Terrorists: $75,002, we will drop the entire promotional campaign and you have to give her all the infidel likes and infidel prayers she wants.

INTJ: Only if in the event that she has kids she never mentions them on Facebook or posts pictures of the things. I’m concerned for those poor children’s privacy and safety.

Terrorists: An even $75,000 if you throw in some goats.

INTJ: I have an Applebee’s gift card.

Terrorists: What is Applebees?

INTJ: $50,000, the goats, and Fly Emirates T-shirts for all of you, no conditions attached.

Terrorists: You have to help us make the list.

INTJ: That’s a fair deal, send me your T-Shirt sizes.

Terrorists: Can the goats get Fly Emirates T-Shirts too?

INTJ: Uh, that would be hilarious, send me their sizes and I will throw in the Applebee’s gift card for free. Send me pictures of the goats in the T-shirts, inchallah.

“Friends”: How am I getting home?

INTJ: Oh, sorry, I was distracted by the idea of seeing goats in, where is the nearest airport?

Terrorists: Uhh…

INTJ: Could you drop her off outside a military base and just tell her what you want to say about your organization?

Terrorists: We could drop her off on Pakistan, what idiot would think that we didn’t have connections in Pakistan?

INTJ: I know, but in a semi-safe area, there’s a Harry Potter café, I’d love for her to bring me back some pictures and souvenirs.

“Friend”: Oh F’ you.

Terrorists: Is that how you thank your helpful infidel friend?

“Friend”: I’ll take pictures.

INTJ: Good, then find your way to a US Military base, say what they want you to say. Also, pick up and mail the the T-shirts and goats. The terrorists are the ones making you do that, not me.

“Friend”: I am not thanking you for negotiating my release at all.

INTJ: Splitsies on your ransom, and you get to punch me in the face as hard as you can when you land.

Terrorists: How selfless.

INTJ: I’ll mail the Applebees gift card?

“Friend”: You had me at punch you in the face as hard as I can when I land.

Terrorists: She’s coming home!

INTJ: I am such a good friend.

“Friend”: Reporting you to the FBI is not exactly off the table.

First post First haul!!

I’ve been spending my whole week trying to collect all the stationery that i need to begin my bullet journal. So far one-sixth of my semester scholarship on buying them, including the decorating stuffs for my desk 

Dotgrid A5 notebook from threedots - a Vietnamese local brand
The notebook took me longest to find the piece that can satisfy me. I was looking for a simple A5 size one, with dotgrid paper, simple ( or with pattern that i feel ok with), and the spine is flexible so my 2 pages won’t be separated. I intended to invest my money in the Moleskine journal. Yet it’s very rare in Vietnam so i could have ordered it online, and it would cost so much. And the only place in town i could find selling the Moleskine one didn’t replace my message. And luckily i was scrolling hopelessly on Google and found this brand. There product pretty much meets up to my every expectation with only 160.000 dong (about $7.1) 

The cover and the paper is very well producted 

Next i’ve bought a package of 5 Zebra Mildliner. I chose the Yellow package with warm tone colors and am now considering buying the Blue package with cool tone colors.

3 Marvy UCHIDA pen, 2 of which are fineliner pens with 0.2 and 0.5 round tip, and the left is a brush tip kind. One Sakura MICRON with 0.2 round tip. 

At the beginning i wanted to buy some Tombow Dual Brush Pen but they are too expensive and not available in any store in my country. And once again i fortunately found the Marvy LePlumeII pen with 2 kinds of brush tips just exactly like the Tombow one at a art supplier store near my school with only 25.000 Dong ($1.11) each. I tool 3 first and will definitely buy more. 

So i hope these will be my new motivation to start my bullet journal and my other personal projects in life of course. 

celiaequus  asked:

In the spirit of the day, did the Regency folk bothered much with Easter? Michelmas seems more important a date than Christmas, and Dickens was really the one who popularised Christmas with 'A Christmas Carol', but I never hear much about how Easter was celebrated 'way back when'.

I can’t really give much more than a general history of Easter in Britain, though I certainly doubt the Regency saw the level of chocolate and the frizzly pastel or green plastic grass/straw/fluff that gets everywhere which we have, today. Eostre was an Anglo-Saxon goddess of fertility, from which we get the holiday’s name, but in Austen’s day I expect that Easter among genteel folk was more in-line with the quiet and practical Anglicanism which pervaded much of that class of people at the time. Lenten fasting might be observed, depending on the family’s level of religious observance and if their particular local brand of Anglicanism were in the style of the High Church or the Low Church; and, as in Britain today, lamb might be a popular dish if there were any special sort of meal served on the day. Family or close friends likely did visit, but I’d be surprised if it was at the same level of vivid cheer as is seen at harvest-festivals or Christmas, as Easter itself was a more solemn observance of sacrifice and humility in faith, with a more serene style of rejoicing.

Among lower classes there might be celebrations tending more towards Britain’s older pagan rites and rituals, but I can’t speak to those specifically–and likely those would fall in line more with the spring equinox or May Day. They may have performed local customs on the day, such as clipping the church, but these would vary by region, so might not be held as general practices. (Clipping the church itself seems to have either died out in the early 1800s or even only have been revived about that time, so it’s debatable whether it would have been taking place in country parishes in Austen’s time, though perhaps she would have heard of it from older folks or in stories, if it was no longer done in the places she knew.)

In the north of England, as well as Scotland and parts of Ireland, Easter celebrations might include rolling decorated eggs down hills (possibly symbolizing the rolling away of the stone from Jesus’ tomb,) and Pace Egg plays, similar to medieval mystery plays, with Biblical and saintly characters.

While there were historical and folkloric connections of hares and rabbits and eggs to Easter/spring celebrations, the suggestion that these were related to Eostre and fertility rites of the season did not come about until 1835, and so in Austen’s time and even the later years of the Regency it would not be likely that anybody would think little old customs involving eggs and rabbits anything other than fanciful traditions.

Also worth considering, when imagining what Easter observances might have been like, is the religious make-up of a region and its people. In referencing Austen I naturally gravitate towards genteel and moderate Anglicanism as a default, but considering that many areas and communities had different histories, particularly in the fallout from the Civil War, that more hardline Protestantism had far-reaching effects on parts of England, and the more demonstrative celebrations of Easter might have been heavily discouraged in these communities. What might be acceptable to an Anglican of the High Church might seem extremely ‘Popish’ to a Puritan.

anonymous asked:

Not biology, but the hipster vegan chemophobic wellness food store in town has this one local brand that keeps listing "himalayan sea salt" as an ingredient and just. himalayan. sea. what?

I mean… I mean you could make a point that that salt got up into those mountains because it was at the bottom of the ocean a longass time ago

but like

that’s where all rock salt comes from? 

My first haul ! It’s a very small one with only small items since it’s my first month of lifting ! I’m happy about everything but now I want bigger things haha. I bought some magnets but I need to buy more since it’s not strong enough to remove tags :(

Bubble Gum lip scrub (Lush) - 9,45

Eos straberry sorbet Lip Balm - 5

Vivid matte liquid lipstick in nude flush (Maybelline) - 10,65

Vivid matte liquid lipstick in roange shot (Maybelline) - 10,65

Revlon colorstay liner - 12

Silver Liner (Hema) - 3

Intense colour eye mousse M01 (Hema) - 4,25

Intense colour eye mousse 03 (Hema) - 4,25

Iphone case (H&M) - 4,99

Felts (Tombow) - 3,95x2

Sequins (Sostrene Grenes) - 2,50

Elastic tread - 3

Fluffy pompom (not pictured) - 3

Total : 80,64 euros (89$)

I get away with everything even thought I set the detector off with one of the lipstick because I forgot to remove the tag haha. I think I looked pretty sus sometimes tho so I really need to improve that.

I think I’m ready to lift bigger things like pallets and clothing.  

I went to my local Brand Melville and the changing room was unattended, I almost got one t-shirt but my magnet didn’t work (or I didn’t do it the right way ?). Also the store seems super easy, they were a lot of hanger with nothing on it near the changing room and inside it ??? Plus no LP ! 

The phone case was super easy to lift, I just hide it a pile of clothing and went to the changing room to conceal, the girl didn’t notice anything. 

anonymous asked:

I like to imagine all of natsume's friends being personally offended if they found out he's never seen a Disney movie, and they have like a huge movie marathon. What do you think natsume's favorite Disney movie would be? (Personally I think maybe the little mermaid, but I'm biased because I'm doing it for my school musical)

oliver & company, no question

and lbr natsume’s friends look for any and every excuse to spend extra time with him. “you’ve never had ~obscure local store brand candy~ before?!?!?! that’s it, we’re all coming over and eating some.” 


good luck with your musical !!