lobster dance

A Dance with Dragons, Pt III
  • Melisandre: can I walk Jon Snow home
  • Stannis: why would you walk Jon Snow home
  • Stannis: THIS IS HIS OWN CASTLE MELISANDRE
  • Stannis: fine? I don't even care. why would I care
  • Melisandre:
  • Melisandre: goodbye, then
  • Stannis: have I EVER mistreated you. no. just go
  • Melisandre: I
  • Stannis: and NEVER COME BACK
  • Melisandre:
  • Melisandre: see you in 5 minutes you big drama queen
8

The Lobster [2015]

We dance alone. That’s why we only play electronic music.

Plot: In a dystopian near future, single people, according to the laws of The City, are taken to The Hotel, where they are obliged to find a romantic partner in forty-five days or are transformed into beasts and sent off into The Woods.

Director: Yorgos Lanthimos

Actors: Colin Farrell (David), Jessica Barden (Nosebleed Woman), Rachel Weisz (Short Sighted Woman)

Writers: Yorgos Lanthimos & Efthymis Filippou

2

hey babies, i’m madison. i’ve spent the past three days trying to figure out every tv show and movie that c’est la vie by b*witched was featured in. all i do is eat things i’m allergic to and cry about cute dogs. that’s about all i have to say. bring in the dancing lobsters.

hangout @ fr.mework

6

Hannah: The cake was nice. Not bad for store bought, I guess. Are you OK, Sharon? You look exhausted.

Ajay: Heh, she and the girls went out last night and it got out of hand. This one didn’t get home until morning!

H: Oh, really? Which girls, Sharon? Why didn’t I know about this?

S: Actually, I didn’t go out with the girls. I went out by myself, because I felt like I was going to go crazy if I didn’t have time to myself. I drank too much and I had anonymous consensual sex with another man.

H: Pffft, oh Sharon, really! This elaborate story because of our conversation the other day? Stop being so petty.

S: I’m not lying. He bought me six cocktails, a lobster, and then we danced and then I fucked him.

A: Who was it?

S: I don’t even remember his name.

H: Of all the stupid- Isaac, get our children and take them home.

Isaac: But-

H: Go.

A: I’m - I’m going to clear up and then put Henry to bed.

S: I’ll go to him.

H: Ajay, don’t you want to talk about this-

A: No, not right now on my son’s birthday, I don’t.

...and this is The Read (Pt. 1)
  • The Scandalous Episode
  • Kid Fury: Hey, y’all! Hi, how are you doing? My name’s Serena Williams.
  • Crissle: …I’m Crissle.
  • Love & Kroger Michelle
  • Kid Fury: Hello, world. My name’s Kelly Price.
  • Crissle: And my name is Fantasia Barrino.
  • New York Appreciation
  • Kid Fury: Hey, everyone. I’m the next Monifah.
  • Crissle: I’m Carrie Underwood.
  • There’s Something About Fury
  • Kid Fury: I…am Sherri Shepherd.
  • Crissle: And I’m Queen Latifah.
  • The Petty Betty Show
  • Kid Fury: My name is Mia X.
  • Crissle: I’m Jennifer Hudson.
  • Pray for the Dancing Lobsters
  • Kid Fury: Hey, girl. We’re back. My name is Penelope Disick.
  • Crissle: ~I’m Rashida, I rap like Shawty Lo~
  • Kid Fury: I fucking hate you.
  • Say No to Fuckboys
  • Kid Fury: My name is Antonio Banderas.
  • Crissle: My name’s Chrissy Tiegen.
  • Law & Order: FU
  • Kid Fury: I’m Pastor Troy.
  • Crissle: I’m Bobbi Kristina.
  • Paula’s Best Dish
  • Kid Fury: I am Delta Werk.
  • Crissle: I am Kaidence Donda West.
  • What’s in a Name?
  • Kid Fury: I’m Dorothy Zbornak.
  • Crissle: I am Malia Obama.
  • The Black Entertainment Episode
  • Kid Fury: I am Nikki Gilbert
  • Crissle: Who the fuck is Nikki Gilbert?
  • Kid Fury: *laughs* Bitch, who are you?!
  • Crissle: I’m Tracee Ross!
  • Stay Off the Bus
  • Kid Fury: I am Framel…from Catfish.
  • Crissle: *dying whale noise* Why do that to me?
  • Kid Fury: My name is Framel.
  • Crissle: I’m sorry, he just clocked me completely the fuck out of the game. I’m Taylor Swift.
  • Well Deserved Laughs
  • Kid Fury: I’m Kid Fury.
  • Crissle: Oh, I’m Glen Coco.
  • Luna vs. Serena
  • Kid Fury: I go by the name of Daria Morgendorffer.
  • Crissle: I’m Harriet Tubman.
  • Sweet and Meat
  • Kid Fury: /seriously/ I’m Kid Fury.
  • Crissle: I’m Jada Pinkett-Smith.
  • Kid Fury: /seriously/…and this is The Read.
  • Crissle: It i-- *laughs* What is wrong with you, Kid Fury?
  • Kid Fury: /seriously/ I don’t know what you’re talking about.
  • The Mrs. Carter Show
  • Kid Fury: I go by the name of Cousin Angie.
  • Crissle: Oh. I’m Deion Sanders.
  • Friendly Reminders
  • Kid Fury: Hello, Everyone. I am Terio.
  • Crissle: I am Karl Kani.
  • Kid Fury: And-- *laughing* Bitch, what…
  • Big Gay Ice Cream
  • Kid Fury: So I’m Regina George.
  • Crissle: And I’m Seeda.
  • The VMA Review
  • Kid Fury: Hey, everyone. I’m Gaysha.
  • Crissle: I’m Neil Armstrong.
  • Gucci This, Gucci That
  • Kid Fury: Hey, everyone. I’m Trina.
  • Crissle: I’m Jennifer Tilly.
  • The Mailbag
  • Kid Fury: Um…I’m Saleisha Howard.
  • Crissle: ~I’m Penny Proud, and I’m cute and I’m loud, and I got it goin’ on~
  • Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Sexuality
  • Kid Fury: I…am…Keylolo.
  • Crissle: I’m Jake Gyllenhaal.
  • My Auntie Jenifer
  • Kid Fury: Hello, everyone. I am Maleficent.
  • Crissle: I’m Solange.
  • Sideshow Bras
  • Kid Fury: So hey, everyone. I’m Mustang Sally.
  • Crissle: I’m Chanté Moore.
  • Everyday People
  • Kid Fury: Hey, everyone. I’m the Nicki Minaj Collection.
  • Crissle: I’m Brittany Brees.
  • America’s Grape Juice
  • Kid Fury: Hello, everyone. I’m the Geico camel.
  • Crissle: And I am Kathie Lee Gifford.
  • Raggedy Pebbles
  • Kid Fury: I am Winifred Sanderson.
  • Crissle: I am Niatia Jessica Kirkland.
  • Blackface
  • Kid Fury: I am Amina Buddafly.
  • Crissle: And I am Melanie 45221.
  • Sistah Wives
  • Kid Fury: Hey, everybody. I’m Bulbasaur.
  • Crissle: And I am Olivia Pope.
  • Race-Themed
  • Kid Fury: I am Samantha Pucket.
  • Crissle: And I am Jennifer Beals.
  • Turkey Day
  • Kid Fury: Hey, everyone. I am the ghost of Brian Griffin.
  • Crissle: And I am all the bitches who wish they could be me.
  • Kid Fury: *laughs*
  • Trina Appreciation Day
  • Crissle: What’s up, motherfucker. I’m Jay-Z. It’s my motherfuckin’ birthday.
  • Kid Fury: Well, bitch…I…am Trina. YOU HEARD THE NAME. STILL THE BADDEST, AIN’T A DAMN THING CHANGED.
  • Crissle: You didn’t have to be so aggressive.
  • #AskYourPublicist
  • Kid Fury: I’m Taterhead.
  • Crissle: And I’m David Benham.
  • Beyoncé Holiday Spectacular
  • Kid Fury: I am edgeless.
  • Crissle: And I am ***Flawless.
  • The Mailbag
  • Kid Fury: I’m Chocledisi
  • Crissle: And I am Chrisette Michele.