Today, I fucked up by saving a lobster.

I’ve been working at a sea food department in a supermarket for the last couple months and for the most part I’ve enjoyed my job. The customers treat me kindly and although the pay isn’t that great, I manage to make ends meet. My warm feelings towards my job changed when I met a lobster I would later name Lucifer. I’m in charge of bringing in the lobsters and changing the ties on their claws when the they first come on. My first encounter with Lucifer happened when I forgot to tie his claws. That lobster went on to murder two of his comrades and got me in trouble for overlooking procedure. Lobsters are expensive and this cost me some points with my boss. I took note of this particular lobsters features and made sure to send it to his doom when the chance arose.

Days went by and I started to pick up on signs of intelligence from Lucifer. It would stare at me deep in the eye when I poured food into the lobster tank and this somehow got to me. I became convinced of his sentience. I knew from boiling lobsters myself that the process of making them into food is cruel. I love eating meat but something about this lobster made me consider the ethics of killing another being for its food. I started researching lobsters and about how they might feel pain similarly to humans. At night I would have nightmares about boiling Lucifer and hearing it scream like a little girl. I knew the fucker has gotten under my skin so I started to care for him. When people asked for that big lobster, I told them that this one was already sold. It was in a way. Him and I were in on something. I was going to break him out.

I don’t make a lot of money so buying a lobster tank seemed like a stupid idea. So I started saving the money I would usually use on booze and women to get a basic aquarium with all the stuff he needs. I started to get worried about one of my co-workers selling it while I wasn’t there so I told them about my idea and they looked at me like I was retarded. But they sympathized and Lucifer, the double homicidal lobster remained safe. Until yesterday.

I was doing clerk stuff when this guy, a big confident type with an expensive looking watch and smile asked for a lobster. I directed him towards the best option, the recently caught and big as my head. But no. He wanted Lucifer. I told him it was taken. He started to argue and insisted on the lobster. My co-workers sensing a disagreement told me to just sell him the fucking lobster. At that moment something clicked and I realized there was nothing anyone could do to kill my friend. Nothing. So I proceeded to tell him he wasn’t for sale, offered am alternative, and while he called the manager I grabbed Lucifer, RAN to the cash register and overdrew my debit card to get him. My manager fired me but I don’t care, nobody was going to kill something I gave value to. I used my saved up money to get him a tank, clipped the ties off his claws (man, did that feel great!) and am currently researching where the best part of the ocean to drop him off would be. I’m a loser with no friends, no future, and no real idea of what makes him happy. But I’d be dammed if I let some fat fuck and his kids eat my only friend.

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