loarding

lonley nights she layed awake
prayed to loard this soul to take

razor in the hand
the lovely blood it taste

scares cover up her body
thoughts took her soul away

stuck in the dark
no one can help

sees no right in living
sees no right in her

salty tears, run over her cheeks
lips are shaking

frightened from the future
frightened from living
fightened from the pain
the razor cuts deep again

nobody saw it coming,
behind thoose brown eyes

the sparkle,
actually just waterly tears

everybody thought,
they where
shining shooting stars

the truth was deep behind
so deep behind her fake smile,
so stuck in her soul

broken angles that want to go back home
suicidal girls,
that can´t find a home

generation of anger,
generation of faker,
generation of hater

the tears running down,
they running down,
like  a waterfall

the sky is crying,
so am I

wrapped my arms arround
that empty body of hers

that must been,
the last thoughts of her

the creepy truth
about this life,
nobody want´s to hear

you just can´t
see behind a picture
even do it´s clear to see

like a fog,
you just can´t look behind

until the light,
find a little escape
through it

but the fog is heavier
it sticks togheter

you can´t seem to find
an ending in it

so  you might think,
you never can escape….

-vanny

YouTuber

Request: May I have an imagine where the reader collaborates with Fiona on some projects for YouTube and that’s how she meets Robbie? Thanks fam ❤️

Warnings: none

You were a twenty-year-old YouTuber. You weren’t very big, only a small sized one, and you lived in London. You did more of travel vlogs, beauty tutorials, and craft tutorials. You were always down to try new food and new products as well.

When your friend, Fiona, asked if you two could collaborate, of course you agreed. You both discussed that since it was summer, you should make a shorts tutorial. How to make shorts out of old jeans. You’d be adding a floral lace design at the bottom of the leg holes and it’d be good fun.

“Hey, missed you lots. How you been?” Fiona hugged you at her door at her London apartment.

“I’ve missed you, too, it’s been ages. I’ve been great, I was in Switzerland a few weeks ago. That was good fun,” you chuckled and hugged back. “How’s your life treating you?”

“Ooh, Switzerland? You’ll have to tell me all about that. Life’s been great. My brother’s here to film another collab video, but that’ll be filmed later.”

Your eyes went a little wide. You were friends with Fiona, but you had still never met her brother or other sister. But you knew her brother was in movies and TV shows. He was actually an actor you adored. Your second video ever was even about a review on his performance as Peter Pan.

“Brother? Robbie’s here?” You asked, trying to stay casual.

“Yes, don’t get your little fangirl panties in a twist. He’s playing a video game with Adam currently. We’ll be filming in my room. Come on in.”

Fiona pulled you in, the smile never leaving her face. Sure enough, in the living area, were two boys. Fiona’s boyfriend and her brother. They were playing Grand Theft Auto, laughing up the place and shouting playful slurs.

“Boys, Y/N’s here,” Fiona announced. “We’ll be filming in the room.”

“Oh, hey Y/N. Good to see you again,” Adam waved quickly before going back to the game.

Robbie turned around, taking his eyes off the screen. Your heart beated quickly at the sight of him. There he was, just sitting there like it was nothing… because it was nothing. He was in his sister’s household. You tried to stay as calm as possible.

“Oh, you’re Y/N?” Robbie stood up, walking to you. “Nice to meet you, I’m Robbie.” He stuck out his hand. You shook hands with him, feeling nervous.

“Yeah, nice to meet you,” you replied. Robbie stared at you, his hand staying on yours longer than necessary.

“Okay you two, you can stare later,” Fiona giggled. She grabbed your arm, taking you to her bedroom.

In the bedroom there was a nice area on the bed to sit on with the supplies already there. The camera was set up, too. You were excited to shoot this video. You already knew how to create a pair of shorts; you’d be teaching Fiona and filming at the same time. It’d be all good fun.

“So, what was that out there?” Fiona smugly smiled.

“What was what?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“The staring with my brother?” She smirked, you blushed.

You shrugged your shoulders at her. “I don’t know. He stared at me first.”

Fiona only smirked.


After filming the video, you and Fiona cleaned up. The boys were still playing video games, but they moved onto a different one. Fiona still occasionally teased you about the encounter with her brother, making you blush hard.

“Adam, can you help me find the laptop cord? I can’t find it anywhere,” Fiona hollered. Adam got up from his spot, pausing the game. He went to help Fiona, leaving you and Robbie alone in the living room as they searched their bedroom.

“So, uh, how did the video go?” Robbie asked.

“Good, good. It was loards of fun. Lots of laughs. What video will you be shooting with her?”

“Chubby bunny,” Robbie responded. “Don’t know how to play it though.”

You gave Robbie a look. Who didn’t know how to play Chubby Bunny? “You don’t know how to play?” You asked, he shook his head. “Boy, I need to educate you. Take me to the marshmallows!”

Robbie laughed, taking you to the kitchen. There were two bags of large marsmallows. You eyed the bags. Those marshmallows wre way too big. But you opened a bag anyway.

“Okay, you stuff one marshmallow in your mouth and you say chubby bunny. Then you have to keep that marshmallow in your mouth and stuff another one in. You stuff in as many marshmallows as you can fit in your mouth all the while trying to say chubby bunny.” You explained, holding a marshmallow.

You stuffed a marshmallow in your mouth. “Chubby Bunny.” You said. You offered one to Robbie. “You go.”

He did it, stuffing it in his mouth. “Chu-bby Bunny,” he stuttered. You laughed at him.

You and Robbie continued playing the game until Robbie had to spit out five large marshmallows. You were laughing so hard, spitting your food out as well. Both of you were laughing away with sticky melted marshmallow surrounding bits of your mouths.

“Okay, that was fun,” Robbie calmed down, covering his mouth. “You looked so funny.”

“You looked funnier,” you nudged him playfully.

“What’ve you two been doing?” Fiona questioned, chuckling.

Robbie gave his sister a look. “Practicing?”

She rolled her eyes, walking away. She mentioned how she was going to still be looking for the laptop cord as it was still missing.  

You and Robbie stared at each other for a moment, the atmosphere falling silent. “How… How old are you?” Robbie asked.

“I’m twenty.” You grinned. You were only a few moonths younger than Robbie.

“Is that so?”

You giggled at him. “I know, I look like I’m fourteen.”

You grabbed a paper towel to wipe the stickiness from your face, Robbie doing the same. Once again it fell silent. All was heard was Adam and Fiona bickering about the cord. It was quite amusing though.

“Do you want to hangout? Like go do something whenever you’re free?” Robbie asked you. You looked up at him, shocked.

“Uh, yeah. Sure. Seems like a good idea,” you laughed awkwardly. “When?”

“Tonight? We can go to a nearby restaurant? Or go grab coffee. Or… whatever you wish.” He smiled brightly. You nodded your head at him, finding this so strange. You were hanging out with Robbie.

“Sounds like fun. We can go to dinner. Maybe walk around afterwards.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You grinned, biting the inside of your mouth. You were hanging out with Robbie tonight. You were practically going on a date with him tonight.

pseudonym-nomdeplume  asked:

3, 4, 12 (for the identity ask thing)

3 (list (curently most active) fandoms and one character you identify with): 

Steven Universe: Steven

twdg: Javier

Mcu: Loki ( the middle schooler in me just won't let go, really it’s probably Nova or Starlord.) loard 

Lazytown: Halla or Bean.

tmpgis: Trisha 1.

4 (do you like your name, would you pick a different one?): I really like my name “Sonja” because it’s not that common (even with different spelling), is the same as the Queen of Norway’s, and means wisdom. If I would change it, it would probably be Ella, John, or Dorthy. 

12 (dog person or cat person?): Cats are wonderful animals, but I personally pre-fur Dogs with their kind of social behavior. and there are more dogs that won’t affect my allergies then cats.

Thanks for sending this it was really fun! Sorry for taking awhile.   :=0 3

ok so here’s some bullshit that might show why i’m kind of iffy on the sudden impulse of shipping stefani with literally nearly everyone (also includes a tad bit of aron). also implies on why novahd and spoe is chill with me.

before you call me a hypocrite or something please read below i have reasons?

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