loading gun gif

here’s your news briefing

2 US service members killed in Afghanistan
Michael Flynn Under Defense Dept. Investigation Over Foreign Payment
Rep. Cummings Accuses White House of ‘Covering Up’ Flynn Activities
Senators leave White House briefing On North Korea unsure why it took place
Trump’s ‘Massive’ Tax Plan: One Page, Many Unanswered Questions
Treasury Secretary can’t guarantee middle class won’t pay more
O’Reilly protégée Jesse Watters abruptly takes vacation after Ivanka sex joke
TSA finds 4 loaded guns in separate incidents at Tampa airport in one day
Nintendo Has Sold 2.74 Million Switch Consoles 

here’s your poop news

All mammals big or small take about 12 seconds to defecate



here’s your quote of the day

– Politico: The education of Donald Trump



here’s a tumblr

Dave Gorum

Dave creates super chill and hypnotic nature gifs.

Gull darn it.



here’s an important PSA

Bill Nye never said that.

That Viral Photo of Bill Nye Talking About Gender is Completely Fake



here’s a meme that is definitely NOT fake, though



here’s a brief moment of peace and harmony

Posted by kitchendisease.



here’s something to consider

Posted by topherchris.



[toph daily archive]

Attack on titan!! ⚔️🌎 Some hardcore fighting in this anime! I am Hanji Zoe, literally (just without the creepy obsession). 😂 It would make my day if you followed my wattpad! —> oxNaLuxo <— I attempted to write a fanfic and I wrote a story called “She has a smile like a loaded gun” so look out for it! Thanks xo ✨❤️

He Doesn’t Deserve to Own You – Part 2 (Part 1)

Daryl x Reader Smut Warning! 18+ Only! NSFW

A/N: I don’t know why but I just really needed a part 2 to this one, enjoy! P.S. Sorry to any Spencer fans, I don’t know why but I really wanted Daryl to punch Spencer out.

—–

It has been over a week since the incident with Spencer and subsequently since you and Daryl had been nearly inseparable, in every sense of the word. Ever since that night Daryl had stood up for you and had shown how he really felt about you, you thought about nothing and no one but Daryl. It was almost like the part of your life spent pining for Spencer was nothing more than a bad dream. No one could satisfy you like Daryl, something he proved every time he touched you, hell even every time he looked at you.

You watched from afar as Daryl helped load guns into the infirmary, his strong, sweaty muscles flexing with ever heavy object he moved, seemingly effortlessly. You watched Daryl from the street across the way, as you sat on a grassy spot within the courtyard, that looked just across from it. You licked your lips, feeling aroused just watching him do menial tasks.

Fuck. You have to stop this Y/N.People are bound to notice you can’t concentrate on anything but him. You complain to yourself in your head, but never break eye contact with the scene in front of you.

From the corner of your eye you see a familiar figure and tense a little as Spencer appears in front of you, seemingly going about his own business, walking across your view to the front gate. You do not break your eye contact with Daryl, on purpose, as to not even look or make contact with Spencer. You two had not spoken since the incident and you’d like to keep it that way.

You keep your gaze fixed as Spencer slows his steps and looks at you, expecting a reaction out of you. Don’t give him a damn minute. You think to yourself, keeping your gaze and mind focused on Daryl, who is about 50 yards ahead of you, unaware you are there and unaware of Spencer’s presence. If he had been aware, Daryl would have already been over here in his face, but your man was a hard worker and was focused on the task at hand.

After a moment or two you realized Spencer was not going to go anywhere until you gave him his reactions. You quickly snapped your head over to where he was standing, breaking your gaze with Daryl.

You looked at him annoyed. “What?” You said flatly and tried to stare through him with hatred.

You look at him and see his face is down trodden and irritated. He looks at you and then looks over at Daryl.

“That’s how it is huh?” Spencer scoffed angrily.

“Had I known you’d give it up for just anyone…. Maybe I was wrong about you.” He said angry, but with a glint of lust in his eyes.

You flatly roll your eyes and return your gaze.

“Go away, Spencer.” You say with little to no emotion in your voice.

“He must be one good fuck.” Spencer replies and walks over to me positioning his tall body, hovering over me, sitting in the grass. I look directly around him disgusted and trying to hold my composure, feeling sick to my stomach.

“I’m not interested Spencer, get the fuck away from me.” You say, more commanding this time.

He kneels down and puts his face nearly inches away from mine, I force myself to look into his eyes with flat determination.

“That’s not what you were saying last week baby…” He said thickly as he looked me up and down and licked his lips.

“I heard the way you fuck, I was wrong about you… Maybe I do want a taste.” He said, licking his lips again and staring at your breasts.

You fold your arms defensively and coldly look in his eyes.

“I’m fucking taken Spencer, get out of here before I have Daryl come over here.” You stare him down.

The mention of Daryl’s name triggers slight fear in him as he stands up and takes a step back, looking over to the infirmary again, double checking that Daryl had not spotted him. He smirks, watching Daryl go about his business.

“Daryl ain’t gonna be around all the time for you to hide behind Y/N… When he’s not, I bet I can make you feel that ache you once had for me again.” Spencer said winking sleazily and slightly grabbing his crouch.  You roll your eyes in disgust and try not to feel threatened, pulling your already crossed legs up, hugging them closer with your arms and pulling them closer to your chest, as to try and feel more protected.

“Fuck off, Spencer.” You spit back, staring straight ahead with determination.

“I’ll catch you later, Y/N.” He says cockily and stiffly walks away, to do who knows what or who. You don’t even look at him as he leaves, now staring solidly and determinedly at the tar road in front of you, trying not to give in to all the anger you are feeling.

Who the fuck does that douche think he is? You think angrily to yourself. Angry was better than fearful and you’d be damned if a piece of shit like that make you feel afraid. You were staring straight ahead, rocking back and forth, trying to hold on to your anger, when you were startled by a hand waving in front of your face. Your head snaps away from the scene that just took place and you realize that the hand is Daryl’s and he is trying to get your attention.

You look up at him, trying to shake your anger, and you smile up at him.

“Hey, you.” You smile happily, the moment your eyes meet his.

His loving gaze returns your own and he sits down beside you, bumping his shoulder to yours, slightly resting his head onto your shoulder for a moment before sitting back up and looking at you curiously.

“Everything alright?” Daryl asked, concerned at your odd behavior.

“Yeah.” You respond quickly and your eyes dart, for the first time, toward the asshole who made you upset in the first place.

Daryl follows your gaze and sees Spencer with his arm cocked up on the fence with Michelle pinned under it, a glint of lust in her eyes as she lifts her hips toward him. Spencer leans into whisper something into her ear and while doing this he turns his gaze and looks directly at you, thrusting his hips into Michelle a little more, putting on a show.

“Is he fucking serious?” Daryl asked, now enraged, as he began to try and stand up. Before he could you catch him and pull him back down, kneeling in front of him.

“He’s an ass, Daryl. Let it be. I got what I want.” You say seriously and force Daryl to focus back onto you and your eyes. Once your eyes meet his, he relaxes a little.

“Besides, the best thing we can do is show him exactly how much I have who and what I need.”

With this you straddle Daryl in broad daylight, in front of everyone, and begin to devour his lips. You put one of his hands on your ass, as the other caresses and pulls your hair, lightly. You moan as his lips move and swirl around your tongue in a fast and passionate motion. You take his other hand and put it on the other side of your ass, as you begin to gently ride him.

His lips leave your mouth and turn their attention to your sweet spot, just below your right earlobe, as he begins to suck on your neck. You shut your eyes sharply in pleasure, already so wet for him.

You turn in Spencer’s direction, as Daryl sucks you hard on your neck, you look at Spencer and moan out loud as your man engulfs your sweet spot. Spencer winces in pained anger and you turn back to Daryl and moan into his ear.

“Baby. I need you so much. You’re the only one I need. You know that right?” You say as you force him off your neck, to look deeply into your eyes. He nods quickly as you feel him harden underneath you. You smile at him and kiss him roughly one more time.

“We shouldn’t do this here. But I need you now, baby.” You seductively whisper in his ear as he growls quietly into your neck, in agreement.

Suddenly, his hands on both sides of your ass smack once more, really hard, as he puts you on the ground. He stands up and offers you his hand, you take it laughing a little, excited for what was to come. You stand and face him, with nothing but playful lust in your eyes, forgetting about everyone around you. You grab Daryl’s shoulder and jump onto his waist wrapping both legs around him as he catches you, bracing both of his strong arms under your ass as he holds you in his arms. You devour each others mouths longingly, as he walks you both down the street, somewhat blindly and staggering, towards his house. You laugh out loud in glee as he stumbles a little, breaking your kiss on his mouth and attacking his neck with your lips, so that he can see a little better as he carries you toward bliss.

You crash into his house as you had done how many times before since that first night, every moment you could get away, you did. He is still holding you in his arms, with your legs wrapped tightly around him as he pulls you directly in the living room and shoves you onto a small, but sturdy, nightstand table in the corner of the room. Your ass crashes down onto it, hard and you moan a little.

“Daryl! The door!” You giggle a little, in both excitement and worry.

He grunts in dismay and unwraps you from around his waist.

“Stay here.” He commands and goes running to shut and lock the door.

He slams it shut, locks it, and comes running back to you as you giggle even harder at his raw attraction. You open your legs up to him again, in his return to you.

His lips crash into yours harshly with a certain sense of immediacy. He really wanted you so bad right now. Your pussy got wet just thinking of how badly he wanted to be inside you, the feeling was mutual.

As he is passionately swirling his tongue around yours, you feel his hand trace down your cheek, jawline, collarbone, the side of your breast – where he stopped to massaged and flick your nipple, through your shirt a couple of times.

“Oh yeah, Baby!” You break your kiss, to cry out to him.

He smiles and pulls your hair back slightly, before crashing his mouth back into yours, fucking your tongue with his own.

His hand roughly traces and grabs down to your side, across your stomach, and down to your waistline. He shoves his hand eagerly down into your shorts, under your panties, and starts massaging your already soaking wet clit.

“Fuck, Y/N. You are so wet for me.” He says, breaking the kiss again long enough to stare into your eyes lustful and ready.

You stare back and whimper a little, having lost all control over your body. You arch into him, staring into his eyes intently.

“I am so ready for you baby.” You moan arching into him again, he pulls your hair back at the same time, and begins to devour your neck, harshly nibbling underneath your chin and all the way up to your earlobe. Once he is there he flicks it between his teeth and harshly sucks on the soft spot just below it, making you scream out his name in pleasure.

“Daryl!” You cry out in voluntarily.

He moans as your whole body arches into him.

He continues to trace your folds and circle your clit a few more times before shoving two fingers inside your pussy. You arch up in pleasure again.

“Oh my god, yes!” You cry out writhing into his hands.

His fingers start to pump into you slowly at first, but as you writhe he obeys and begins to fuck you faster with his fingers, all the while rubbing your clit with his thumb. His tongue sucks and licks into your sweet spot, pulling your earlobe into his mouth to flick it over and over with his tongue. He breathes purposefully heavily behind your ear as he harshly sucks on your flesh there, you moan over and over at the sensation.

You continue to pump yourself onto his hand, harder and harder, he pumps three fingers in, knowing you are about to cum.

Your head rockets back, hitting hard against the wall, but you couldn’t feel anything other than the ecstasy Daryl was showing you.

Daryl pumped his fingers in and out of you with such force you thought you’d cum so hard you’d shatter to pieces.

“Fuck yeah, baby, right there!” You cried out as he pumped his fingers into you harder and harder, making sure to hit your clit with his thumb every time you thrust onto his digits.

You erratically began to thrust faster and harder against him

“Cum for me baby.” Daryl growled into your ear, causing all the right vibrations to hit your body.

With his breath in your ear and his fingers fucking you just right, you thrust onto him, long and grueling onto your clit and came, hard.

“Yes… Daryl! Yes!!” You cried out as you cum around his fingers. Daryl pumped his fingers into you a few more times, deep, to make sure your pleasure was as long and lasting as it could be.

Once you came he removed his finger, licked his tongue up and down your neck, and growled in your ear.

“You are so damn sexy when you cum.” He says, removing his lips from you and backing away, he takes the three fingers that were in you and engulfs them in his mouth, licking you off him

“Mmmm.” He moans as he laps up your juices off his digits, closing his eyes.

You moan, already turned on again and begin playing with your breasts over your shirt, watching him lick his fingers. You stand up suddenly and strip off your shirt and shorts, leaving you in only your bra and panties.

Daryl’s attention turns back to you with lust in his eyes. You walk over to him and rip off his shirt, from the bottom of his abdomen, he lifts his arms in compliance, as you rip it off of his muscular body, throwing it to the floor. You then begin to unbutton his pants, suddenly in such a hurry to taste him. He chuckles a little as you drop to your knees, frustrated the fabric won’t give way as fast as you need it to. You finally get the jeans down past his hips and his big, hard cock pops out, fully erect.  You lick your lips at the site, but continue to help him pull off his jeans. He lifts one knee up at a time as you undress him as fast as you can and throw the frustrating fabric out of your way. You kneel before his magnificent naked body and before his huge cock. You had never been with anyone so well endowed and fuck did it feel good. You feel the urge to touch yourself at the sight of him, but try to focus on what you wanted to do for him.

You smile up at him, licking your lips, as you grab his cock in your hand. Never taking your eyes off him you guide it into your mouth, slowly teasing his tip, as your tongue swirls around and around in a fast motion.

Daryl’s head juts back at the sensation.

“Fuck yeah, Y/N!” He cries out uncontrollably, before returning his intent gaze on you sucking him off. You smile with his cock still in your mouth and begin to take as much of his shaft into your throat as you could, you bob up and down, throat fucking his huge cock, as you hear him moan in delight, only making you want to go deeper. He grabs your hair with his hand and roughly starts pushing you in and out of him harshly.

“Fuck yeah, baby.. oh yeah. That feels so good.” He cried out, as you suck him off, tasting his salty sweetness already.

He stops and pulls you out of his mouth. You look up at him with a lustful smile.

“Get back up there.” He orders nodding to the side table you had been perched on before.

You nod in agreement as you hop back on the small table against the living room wall.

He growls. He is so turned on right now and is ready to fuck the shit out of you. He crashes his mouth into you, and his hands roam down to unclip your bra, you help him and undo it completely, throwing it to the ground. Meanwhile Daryl struggles with your underwear, suddenly you cry out in pleasure as he smacks your ass hard and lifts it with one quick motion, tearing your panties of and throwing them behind him.

He groans in pleasure seeing how wet your pussy is.

As he runs his fingers slightly up and down your folds and encircles your wet clit, you arch up screaming in pleasure.

“Oh my god! Yes, please I need you inside me.” You cry out.

Suddenly, you feel him line his huge cock up to your center and slam it into your tight pussy. The side table slams against the wall in response, along with your ass.

“Fuck, yeah baby!” You cry out in pleasure.

He smiles at your response and thrusts into you just as hard again, and again, until all you can hear it the sound of the table slamming against the wall, in reaction to him slamming into your body and hitting your clit harder and harder, faster and faster.

You slam your hips back into his, in response, making the sensation even better. You cry out as loud as you ever have as he grabs your hips and smacks your ass a few times.

“Fuck yeah!” You cry out, causing him to smack you again.

His thrusts become long and hard as he fills all of you and hits your clit repeatedly, making sure to put as much pressure as he could onto it.

“Faster baby.” You cry out, longing to feel your release.

He obliges and fucks you faster and harder as your ass and the table slam into the wall so hard, you think it may break. You pull him closed to you and kiss him hard on the lips, so hard you thought you may draw blood.

You are bouncing up and down as his cock fucks you hard, you look at him as he stares intensely at you and your bouncing body, in all its glory. He leans down to take one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking on it passionately and harshly. You cry out in pure pleasure and press his head to your breasts, as he plays with them both for a minute, before coming back up to your mouth and crashing his lips against you again. He breaks the kiss and leads back, all the while staring into your eyes, while fucking you.

“Cum for me baby…” he commands as he pulls you closer and his hips push you nearly through the wall, roughly. He starts thrusting faster and faster onto your clit and you feel yourself close to climax.

“Yeah baby… just like that.. harder… faster… Yes! Yes! Yes!!!” You cry out as you cum hard onto his huge cock, you moan in so much pleasure you thought you might explode.

He thrusts become harder and erratic after he feels you cum around him and he fucks you into the wall, hard.

“Oh Fuck Y/N!!!” he cries out, thrusting his hips into you and into the wall, causing so much pleasurable pressure you both cry out again together, as he holds you into it and cums inside you.

He thrusts a couple more times as you moan in happiness and then slips out of you, kissing your forehead sloppily.

You look up at him with satisfied, yet still lustful eyes, and pull his mouth to yours for one more long passionate kiss. He rests his head on your shoulder’s tired out and you kiss his forehead tenderly. You unwrap your legs and let them dangle below the side table. Daryl growls satisfied into you.

“That was fucking amazing, baby.” He said.

“You are fucking amazing, baby.” You smile and he looks up at you with serious eyes, only to begin to devour your mouth, yet again.

—–

Later that evening, after a couple more rounds with each other, and one exhausted nap, you both emerge again from the house to walk down the street to where everyone was having dinner. It was easier to ration dinner when everyone ate together. So it had become normal for everyone in the town to all gather together when it was time.

Daryl grabbed your hand into his and you both walked satisfied, side-by-side, toward the smell of the food and the sound of the laughter. You rested your head on Daryl’s shoulder as you sighed happily and continued on your way.

You both sat down, by Carol, Rick, and Michonne, and laughed and talked all through the unmemorable meal. Daryl noticed Spencer staring at you both, yet again, from down the table. He scoffed angrily, as his blood again began to boil. That boy is getting on my nerves. Daryl thought to himself. You did not notice, as you were focused on a story Rick was telling.

Daryl noticed Spencer slip away, and Daryl kissed you on the forehead and excused himself for a moment. You smiled happily at the feel of his lips on your forehead, closing your eyes for a moment, as if to take the sense in as deep as you could. You hear Rick chuckle a little and your eyes snapped back open, forgetting you were not alone. You laugh and smile at him, in response.

“Shut up.” You say playfully and watch your man saunter of, with that stride that you loved so much.

“I didn’t say a word.” Rick laughed playfully, raising his arms in the air, smirking.

Daryl followed Spencer down the street, he appeared to be headed toward his house. Spencer stops in his own yard and is about to walk up the stairs to his home, when he feels a hand suddenly on his shoulder, that whips him around. Bam! He feels a fist ram straight into his jaw, hard, and he falls to the ground. Bam! He gets hit once more, this time on the eye, as he is laying there trying to regain his senses.

Suddenly, Spencer sees Daryl get up from the ground, staggering back, and breathing heavily, his chest pumping up and down with adrenaline, and hate in his eyes.

“Don’t know what the fuck is your problem, but ya need to stop staring at my girl. She is mine and she doesn’t want anything to do with your piece of shit ass.” Daryl growled loudly and paced back and forth a little, trying to restrain himself from hitting him anymore, like he desperately wanted to.

“I hear that you even look at her wrong, let alone make her feel uncomfortable again, I will end you.” He says dead serious. Spencer crawls back on the grass, clutching his eye in pain and look at Daryl in fear.

“Okay.” He hands go up. “Got the message loud and clear, she’s yours.” He says backpedaling until he finds the stairs to his porch. He sits on the first step clutching his eye.

Daryl strides over and puts his face inches from Spencer’s, looking intently at him.

“I fucking mean it. Stay the fuck away from her. I won’t tell you again.” He says matter-of-factly, waiting for Spencer to nod, before removing his face from Spencer’s and quickly striding off back toward the dinner party.

Daryl sits back down next to you, his chest huffing up and down as the adrenaline begins to subside from his body. You notice and look over at him worriedly, you never like to see him worked up like that.

“Everything okay?” You ask a little worried.

Daryl takes a deep breath and calms his breathing, looking at you with nothing but love and admiration in his eyes.

“Everything is just fine, baby.” He says in soft tone, one that contradicts his earlier behavior, but you melt into him anyway.

He rests his forehead against yours for a moment and smiles at you, pulling you into a soft, gentle kiss. He pulls away, kisses you on your forehead and turns back to finish his meal, grabbing your hand into his under the table.

“Everyone is always making fun of me because of how I look, how fucking weak I am and shit, well I will get you all back: ultimate fucking revenge here. you people could have shown more respect, treated me better, asked for my knowledge or guidance more, treated me more like senior, and maybe I wouldn’t have been as ready to tear your fucking heads off. then again, I have always hated how I looked, I make fun of people who look like me, sometimes without even thinking sometimes just because I want to rip on myself. That’s where a lot of my hate grows from, the fact that I have practically no self esteem, especially concerning girls and looks and such. therefore people make fun of me… constantly… therefore I get no respect and therefore I get fucking PISSED. as of this date I have enough explosives to kill about 100 people, and then if I get a couple bayonets, swords, axes, whatever I’ll be able to kill at least 10 more. and that just isn't enough! GUNS! I need guns! Give me some fucking firearms!”

- In the months leading up to the Columbine High School Massacre, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold loaded up on guns, bullets, pipe bombs, and attempted to make napalm. The two shooters’ ultimate motive was revenge, as they both felt like loners and wanted everyone else to pay. In his last journal entry on the 3rd of April 1999, Harris wrote “I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things.” 17 days later, he and Klebold became the perpetrators of one of the worst school shootings in American history, shooting dead 13 people before turning their guns on themselves.

[SUMMARY: Negan and Lucy part two.

Negan is protective of you now that he has found you, but little does he know his own former people are coming back for revenge.]

WARNING: this story involves rape.

Negan and Lucy.

Keep reading

Passionate Kissing with Wonwoo

A/N: this is unlike anything I have ever really posted so please tell me what you think.. Also idk i’d be down for writing a smut portion of this if anyone asked.. Anyways enjoy :)

gif credit


The collision of Wonwoo’s lips on your own was fatal. Pure electric, jolts up your spine, a numbing tingle in your hands, and you couldn’t get enough. Your cheeks were matchsticks, hot and red from the heat both of your bodies gave off. Wonwoo’s hands were everywhere; trailing down the small of your back, tightly grabbing your hair, cupping over your ever heating cheeks.

You both breathed unevenly and insync between the kisses. Sure, you were a disaster at times but so was he, together you too shook the world so harsh it could register on the Richter’s scale. Wonwoo stared at you through his dark, foggy eyes, but to you his eyes never felt so clear. Wonwoo’s eyes were mirrors, reflecting what he wanted. You know right then that all he wanted was you.

Wonwoo kissed you with such force the air got lost in your lungs, every kiss was filled with such passion and followed by his hot breath plastering your skin. His lips worked in perfect rhythm with yours making your body weak in all the right ways. You felt a new wave of heat course through your body when he slowly and passionately swiped his tongue along your bottom lip.

You opened your mouth, the feeling immediately spirals in your head. The taste of him as you move your tongue against his. It was deadly, suffocating, nauseating. You were sick off of Wonwoo. Sick off of the feeling of his lips against yours, his tongue tracing your mouth in all the right places. Wonwoo was 100 percent intoxicating.

He laid you down on the floor, a bed sat right next to the both of you but the way your knees wobbled under his kiss made it questionable if you could make even those four steps. Suddenly Wonwoo is a storm of touch, his mouth never left your own as he tasted every inch of you. His large, rough, hands do the same, exploring every patch of skin like a lost explorer looking for a treasure leaving a graveyard of goosebumps in their path.

His hands met your own and wrapped around them desperately, he raised them above your head as each of his knees made their way around your body. He gave you everything he had within the kiss, enough intensity to start wars. Wonwoo poured all of his want into each kiss as you felt it sweetly but harshly upon your tastebuds.

Everything in your body screamed for Wonwoo while his tongue relentlessly pushed its way against yours. The boy was a loaded gun of intensity and you had never been one for danger but your mind only wished to play roulette with him.

His mouth was borderline poetic, each peck gave you fuel to write novels. Novels about how at home your lips felt when they were wrapped around his and you have never been a homebody but when he left you wanted to crawl back into him. Novels about how if it was long ago the flick of his tongue would could have been the first proof of electricity, being struck by lightning had never felt so good. Novels about how his hands in your hair turned you into nothing but scorching lava and if his fingers weren’t wrapped around your locks you would have fallen apart.

You swore Wonwoo was disaster relief in disguise because every time you felt like you might fall apart his soft lips made their way onto you and suddenly you felt whole. The soft graze of his tongue and lips placed onto you were anything but a kiss. Wonwoo was veins and blood pumping, Wonwoo kept you alive.

You have never been that religious but you swear the crash of his lips was a work of God. All you wanted was a pen and pad because right then you two would write scripture.

Maid - Joker x Reader imagine part 9 (woohoo wow)

a/n: hey there this is another part and it’s NOT the last one. the last one will be part 10, because i got an incredible idea for the ending and i really want to realize it!! and i uh thought it would be better if the last part was an even number not 9 :) this is continued right after the 8th part and this is shorter than usual

characters: JOKER ; READER

warnings: guns; gun use; swimming if that’s a warning; not really a joker-like behavior; smut; oral on a female ; )))


Once we were finished with the pancakes - which I ate most of - J took me to the basement of the house. It was cold, huge and filled with weapons all over the walls. Any kind of gun you could think of, it was here. 

My lips parted in amazement at the sight as I stood there. I bet J had a satisfied smirk set on his features, standing next to me. 

“Wow.” I said. “There are so many.” I walked over to the big ones, hesitantly touching one. It was cold, it felt… heavy without even holding it. J took my wrist and moved it away from the weapon.

“Now, now…” he spoke with a chuckle, “let’s start with the small ones, princess.” I looked down in embarrassment with a shy smile. His hand raised my chin up, making me look at him. “Don’t be ashamed, everyone’s a little curious.” He said. “Now, let’s start with your lessons.” J walked to the other end of the room and picked something from the wall. As he turned around, his hands held a white hand gun. My lips parted, it was really pretty. He walked closer and I saw golden details on it here and there. 

“Can I take it?” I asked.

“Carefully.” He replied, handing it over to me. Without hesitation, my hands wrapped around the small, heavy weapon, my fingers touching the golden parts. “Do you like it, baby girl?”

“Yes, it’s really pretty!” I exclaimed with a smile and my head nodding.

“Good, good. Let’s start the shooting, yes?” J asked with a smile, lowly laughing after. I nodded. He took my hand and dragged me out into a hallway that led into another room. It was with good acoustic. I turned my head right and saw 4 carton dummies in the shape of half a human body (a/n: if you dont know what dummies are - they are the cut outs people shoot at training, like deadshot did when they gave him a gun at belle reve ok yeah just for ya knowledge babes) at the end of the room. There was a mattress-like-thing behind them, probably so the bullets don’t come back to the shooter.

J walked over to a shelf and returned with ear mufflers in a form of headphones and gave them to me. 

“Won’t you need them, too?” I asked, hesitantly taking them from his hands. 

“I can take it, doll. I’ve shot so many people the bullets flying is like a song to me.” He said, I let out a giggle. 

“Right.”

“Now, take the gun correctly in your hand.” He commanded and I raised the gun up, holding it with both of my hands. “Good, very good.” J said, his tone stating that he was impressed. I smirked. “Here,” he spoke, handing me 5 bullets, “do you know how to load your gun?”

“No.” I said. 

“Alright, I will teach you that later.” J said, taking the gun from me and quickly putting the bullets in. His hands worked like a professional’s, he was one. He gave it back to me and I raised it up again. “So first, we charge the gun. We do it like this. Place your left hand on the slide.” I did. 

He placed his hand on top of mine, the other resting on my waist. Controlling my hand, he slid it towards myself, the upper slide moving along. It made a few clicking sounds and our hands slid it back in place. J removed his hand from mine and placed it on the other side of my waist.

“Now, stretch out your arms and aim. Do you know what is your target?” He asked. I looked at the dummy, there was a red spot in the middle, the middle of a person’s lungs. 

“The red spot.”

“That’s right. Now, close one of your eyes - it will help you concentrate on the target - aim and shoot.” J instructed. I put the ear mufflers on my head. I closed my left eye, pointed my gun at the red spot and guided my pointer finger to the trigger. Oh God. Was I ready for this? I’ve never fired a gun in my life. I was quite scared, to be honest. My breath was quite, ragged. I hope J didn’t notice that, he would cancel all this if he did. 

Get yourself together, I told myself. I let out a sigh and tightened my grip on the weapon. Counting to three, I was breathing faster. At three, I pulled the trigger. My eyes closed at the impact and I felt my body move back a few inches. The shooting sound was quiet thanks to the mufflers. I looked at the dummy I shot - the bullet had made a hole in it, ruining half of the red spot. I let out a breath with a smile, taking off my mufflers.

“Good job, baby girl.” J said in my ear. “That’s really good.” 

“I didn’t know I would do so well.” I said. 

“Do you want to try it again? So you would shoot the target?” 

“Yes, yes..” I put the mufflers on again, repeating my actions, only concentrating more on the red spot. I pulled the trigger, closing my eyes and letting the bullet fly. I opened my eyes and looked at the dummy, there was no red spot. I had shot it. I turned around to J, my gun still in hand and wrapped my arms around his neck. 

“Yay! I did it!” I cheered. J pulled back, pleased growling coming from him.

“You’re such a good shooter, princess.” He said with a smile, both of us chuckling. “Do you want to continue or do something else?” J asked, taking my mufflers off, letting them fall to the ground. 

“What would be something else?” I questioned. He took my arms from around his neck and took one of them in his hand. We made our way back to the gun room, where he placed my gun back in its place.

“Maybe swimming?” J suggested.

“Yes! Right now?”

“Preferably.” 

“Okay. Let’s go change, then.” 

We got upstairs to our bedroom to change into swimming clothes. I took my swimsuit and went into the bathroom, telling J to not bother waiting for me. I wanted to make this a surprise, because the swimsuit I was putting on was one he hadn’t yet seen. 

Once I had changed, I looked into the mirror - it fit me perfectly. It was a black one piece - that barely was a one piece - it covered only my breasts, my butt and a little bit of my stomach and back. To join the upper and down part, it had two crosses - one over my back and the other over my stomach. A zipper was on the cross on my back. I really liked it and hoped J would like it, too.

I put my hair up in a messy bun and exited the bathroom. I walked down the stairs, through the house to reach the beach. I saw J’s green hair and white back in the water and made my way over to the water. I was just a few steps away from the dark water when J turned around. He practically melted once seeing me. Did I look that good?

“Baby girl…” He trailed off and walked through the water, black swimming trunks hanging on his hips. “You look…” he made a dramatic pose, flinging his arms around, “…wonderful!” I bit my lip before laughing.

“Oh, thank you!” I replied. He was standing right in front of me, his hands on my waist and eyes holding a lustful stare. 

“I see you got a swimsuit I’m seeing for the first time.”

“I did.” I smiled. 

“I like it on you,” J whispered in my ear. “But I bet it would look even better not on you.” I giggled and blushed at his compliment. “That’s some plans for later.” He spoke and his grip on my hips tightened before throwing me up in the air. I felt cold water hit the skin all over my body, taking my breath away. He threw me into the water. 

Once I had kind of situated myself in the water, I couldn’t find ground beneath my feet. I was really deep. I opened my eyes under the water - it wasn’t that dark. I couldn’t see anything else for my body was pulled out of the water. I inhaled deeply and loudly, opening my eyes to see Joker above me. I laughed and cleared the water off of my face with my hand. He was smirking.

“Why did you do that? It was scary.” I said to him, laughing.

“Thought it’d be fun.” He replied before leaning down to place his lips on mine. I chuckled into the kiss and straightened myself up, I wasn’t too comfortable. 

“Can we like, actually, go swimming?” I asked, pulling back. J growled, pulling my legs around his waist and I put my arms around his neck, so I wouldn’t fall into the water.

“Of course, doll.” He said. My lips grew into a smile and he, once again, threw me into the water.

After some time of fooling around and actually swimming, we decided to go back inside. The sun was starting to set, so I  we spent a long, long time in the water. 

His hands were on my waist, tickling me softly with little giggles erupting from my mouth as we slowly walked out of the water. J suddenly turned me around and flopped me down in the sand on my back, hovering over me. A small smile played on my lips as he stared down at me. His lips attacked my neck with kisses, making small moans and giggles fly out of my lips. 

His hands found the zipper of my swimsuit and started zipping it down, while his lips trailed down my stomach. My hand went into his hair, softly caressing the roots. The swimsuit was off me in seconds, J’s lips and hands were all over my body.

“We’ve reached ‘later’, haven’t we?” I asked in a moan.

“Yes, we have..” he growled as his lips trailed down my stomach, stopping right where I ached for him the most. He kissed all around but there, teasing me into hell. 

“Please, please, please, Daddy…” I whimpered. J hissed at the nickname, but kissed up the inside of my thighs.

“What, princess?” he asked.

“Please, don’t tease me, please, please….” I begged, hoping he would listen. He growled, kissing my thigh one last time. 

His lips moved down to my centre, placing a kiss there. I couldn’t help but let out a low moan, my head rolling to the side at the sensation. If only there were sheets I could take in my hands… 

He ghostly kissed up and down while his hands slid around my thighs to hold my shifting body in place. I felt his tongue come out and lick up a stripe, a whimper coming past my lips.

“Y-yes, yes, yes, like that…” I moaned out and put my hands in his hair. He licked up again, only with his tongue flat out against my core. I knew I wasn’t far from reaching my peak. 

I whimpered and moaned as his tongue continued to work wonders on me. Just when I felt like I needed something to get me off faster, his tongue entered me. I released the most high moan I'd ever heard in my life as my back arched up from the sand. 

“Do th-” I didn’t even get to say what I wanted, J’s tongue went in again, moving in and out at a fast pace. My body was quivering and shaking while I was whimpering, my fingers holding his hair tightly. 

If it wasn’t already enough to drive me insane, his two fingers also entered me. I lost my breath for a moment, but then regained it, releasing another moan. How was he such a professional at this? I was shaking in pleasure.

“Come on, princess, cum for Daddy..” J growled. That was all it took for me to reach my high and come undone. I breathed heavily as I felt my juices pour out of me. “Mmmm, baby girl, you taste so sweet.” He said, cleaning me up with his tongue. My breathing was slowing down as I saw him come back up above me. To say I was tired was an understatement.  

He placed his hand on my cheek and turned my head to face him. 

“Are you tired now, baby girl?” J spoke. I nodded in response, not being able to speak. He stood up and I felt my body being lifted from the sand. “Alright, let’s rest now.”

a/n: wELL THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY. :D anyway, i hope you like this part but i’m not 100% percent happy with it but meh. the last part will be better, if this one was shit :) i promise. btw, does anybody watch stranger things? cUZ FRICK I LOVE THAT SHOW SJHGUDV 

This one was trickier to write than usual – I think I’m on the verge of writer’s block. I might have to spend a couple of days taking a break to nip that in the bud before it starts. Either way I’m happy with how this turned out and might experiment with the premise of the reader being related to one of the Avengers again at some point in the future. Anyway, thank you to theunlikelyavenger for this request.

Prompt: I’m afraid I don’t have a very solid request to make, but Cap fluff would be a good summary of my current reading needs. Maybe where the reader is scientist-gone-avenger learning combat? Otherwise, free hands!

“Suit Up”

“Yo! (Y/n), you listening?” Tony shouted.
“To you? Always.” You replied, sarcasm dripping from every word. Being Tony’s younger sibling was fun but it had its downsides too and one of the main ones was that you had to put up with him 24/7. As much as you loved the man, you knew better than anyone how much of a pain you could be. For somebody who was several years younger than him, you always felt more mature in his presence.

“If you were listening, then tell me what I said.” He demanded, poking you in the ribs playfully. After swatting his hand away, you shot him a glare that demanded he grow up.
“You said that Steve was doing this out of his own good will so that I am supposed to behave and promise not to make him regret the decision.”

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