lmao im sure u guys are sick of my spam by now

food critic!mingyu
  • tbh everyone knows who he is
  • like yeah food critics are supposed to be like undercover or whatever but 1) he’s handsome so he attracts attention and 2) if he’s at a restaurant with a friend he starts using Food Words and gets really excited when the food is “exquisite”
  • food critic!mingyu and at home!mingyu are two completely different people
  • fuck it they’re not even the same species
  • everyone in the food industry thinks that mingyu invented chic and that he probably models for like,,,,,armani or louis vuitton (rumor has it that he owns diamond encrusted undies)
  • but seventeen + friends have witnessed him eat pizza from a pizza box that was in the garbage and run for the hills whenever gyu looks like he’s about to sneeze
  • tl;dr: mingyu is a God in public and a Mess in private
  • like the first time minghao went with mingyu on a business meal, minghao just stared at him for like 5 minutes while mingyu tried the food and read descriptions as he typed them into his phone
  • mingyu: *using Big, Fancy words and using Extra descriptions*
  • minghao: who The Fuck are you
  • seventeen likes to make fun of him during these lunch/dinner dates bc his hyungs are like “!!look at bb mingyu all grown up!! so professional!! i feel honored to be in your presence!!” and the younger ones r like “i wish i could be as Fabulous and Successful as you, King Mingyu!! will u pls sign my used napkin??!?!?!?”
  • (he’s now reluctant to bring them along)
  • mingyu rly has a passion for food and he loves how food can make you feel and how creative you can get with it 
  • he adores his job like he gets so Excited to go to new restaurants so he can pick apart every flavor and texture and the visuals of the dish and the feel of the place
  • and tbh he never lets his job or rank or whatever get to his head he’s so H U M B L E
  • he’s always insanely polite to staff and other food critics and his readers even though they, and many other people, can be really mean to him
  • he gets frustrated sometimes tho bc a lot of people don’t take his job seriously
  • like yeah he gets to eat as part of his job, but he also has to write sometimes harsh reviews and has spent years memorizing countless ingredients and cooking styles 
  • and sometimes the harshly honest reviews bring him hate and he’s lost sleep over anonymous threats and forces himself to go to the gym every single night bc he knows that so many people only like him for his looks even though he works his ass off
  • :-(((((((((((((((((((
  • so many people see him though as this Untouchable Millionaire person because of how he presents himself
  • like he’s always wearing shiny watches and crisp shirts and slicked back hair and stylish glasses (can u fuckin imagine tho)
  • but tbh he’s just this big puppy that sits on his thrifted couch in boxers and a tshirt with his feet dangling off the end, only wearing one sock because he forgot to do laundry, while watching spongebob and eating a microwaved burrito
  • he has an italian greyhound named penne that he spends more money on than he does on him. that dog is his Child.
  • (he didn’t know what to name her so…………..he put out a bunch of foods and let the dog decide………..)
  • penne has her own mini closet and is also the logo on mingyu’s food blog
  • speaking of which, his blog looks very classy and sleek but the cursor is a pink paw print that leaves a trail of dog treats when u move it
  • he has a food insta too and it has like 700k followers bc 1) the quality of his pics is insane and the food looks so good and 2),,,,,,,,sometimes he recreates food for penne,,,,,,,,and posts pictures of it
  • (he has a separate instagram account for penne….) (he spams it)
  • (everyone follows that account like u have at some point of ur life found a picture of penne in ur camera roll)
  • and u know who mr. kim is bc ur a waitress at a restaurant in one of the top hotels in the country so you’ve been anticipating his visit and by Anticipating i mean Practicing To Call In Sick for when the day comes
  • but lucky for you your Wednesday late-night shift starts with you introducing yourself to mingyu and explaining the different items on the liquor menu
  • u get back to the kitchen after he orders some $9 drink and u clutch the doors shut and ur like “……..guys……….He’s Here” and everyone’s like “excUse mE whAT” and ur boss is like “if u screw this up you’re washing all of the dishes after last shift for three months”
  • n ur like nO pls just get me this drink before i die from The Pressure Everyone Is Putting On Me Right Now
  • u get the drink out to him and not to be Dramatic or anything but when u set down the drink he looks at you with this liL SMILE
  • and he’s like “thank you~!” he sounds like a child it’s so cUte!!!!!!!
  • you ask if he’s ready to order and he’s like “i sure am!” and he keeps looking back and forth between you and the menu and whenever u make eye contact he gives u That Smile™ and laughs to himself when u quickly look back to ur notepad
  • when u take the menu tho ur hands brush and he’s like “oH sOrry” 
  • u hurry off to the kitchen and he’s sitting there with red cheeks and u let out a breath once the doors shut behind u
  • the entire kitchen staff at once: WHATS HIS ORDER
  • as ur serving other tables, u catch mingyu looking at you a few times while sipping his drink like fuCk oK dAmN bOi
  • and he’s not even trying to be Sexy he just thinks ur rly cute like he noticed how u stuttered when u introduced yourself and how you nodded every time he named off a menu item and how your voice sounded when you described the dishes
  • its abt the little details to him let me tEll u
  • the entire time you’re waiting for them to finish his order, you’re nervously pacing around the kitchen or playing with the pen between orders becAuse 1) he’s Powerful and Influential and Handsome AF and 2) @ ur boss pls don’t make me wash dishes
  • his order is finally ready and ur carrying it out and the entire time you’re walking over, his eyes are going from you to the table to his drink to you to the floor because he’s nErvOus
  • u set down the plates carefully and accidentally kinda let the second plate drop onto the table and ur like iM soRry and quickly put down the third plate and ask if he needs anything else
  • when u look @ him he’s smiling tho lmao 
  • and he says “nope everything looks good thank u” but he means to say “ur number. pls.”
  • u tell him to enjoy the food and slip back into the kitchen after making a quick round to check on other customers
  • tbh u stay in the kitchen mostly while he eats bc ur like whAt if i Fucked It Up i should’ve called in siCk daMmit
  • u reluctantly go back to his table once he’s almost done and u ask him the usual “how was everything? could i help you to anything else?”
  • and all he asks for is the bill and a piece of chocolate cake
  • bUt bAby liTtle do u kNow
  • u get him the bill and the cake and he’s being Extra Smiley towards u and ur co-workers r sulking in the kitchen lmao
  • he leaves and with him goes the weight off of your shoulder but when you go to collect the tip, the piece of chocolate cake is untouched and on the napkin is a note with 10 numbers on it, “i hope you like chocolate,” and his signature
  • bonus: he finishes his signature off with a lil doodle of penne