lmao i really hate myself

8

Baekhyun is cringing from Suho’s cheesiness while Chen and D.O. remain immune to it
↳ EXO’rDIUM in Singapore, April 2nd 2017 (own fancam)

Jack- FAHC
  • she has a reputation of being on the most honest criminals Los Santos has ever seen- she pays on time, delivers on time, and she always keeps her promises.
    • this doesn’t mean she’s easy to take advantage of, though; underestimating her is one of the quickest ways to die. She’s a shrewd businesswoman, and God forbid you ever break a promise to her
  • she swears that she’s never had a hangover, and none of the boys have ever seen her with one. It’s not like she doesn’t drink, either- Geoff remembers vividly the day that she downed five shots of vodka one after the other, and then proceeded to win $10,000 in a poker game. He was terrified and in awe.
  • she tends to be one of the best negotiators (along with Gavin, but more consistently). She gets people to like her, to trust her, and if they are trying to manipulate the deal to their advantage, they don’t even realize that she has them exactly where she wants them
  • If her boys are in danger, watch out. Then, she only negotiates in blood and bullets and hellfire.
  • The crew would be hopeless without any of the members, or course; they’re all crucial, and they’re family. But without Jack they’d crumble. No one else pilots like her, obviously, but she’s their rock, the steady hand, and let’s be real she’s the mom.
    • Once, she was taken. The crew that took her only got her. She was gone for three days, and the FAHC tore the city apart to get her back
  • she’s a good, steady shot, yes. They’re all good. Her place in the crew on heists is transportation, though. She’s the best pilot Los Santos has got. But she also excels in hand-to-hand combat- she’s been taking any and all martial arts classes since she was 8 years old, although she doesn’t use it too often.
    • also bc she’s a huge nerd and loves cool combat, she’s taken swordfighting classes. The crew doesn’t know because she’s waiting for the perfect moment to save the day and surprise him with her skills.
      • ((that day comes a week after her 39th birthday and it is glorious.))
  • none of the boys are sure how many languages she actually speaks. They know of English, French, Italian, and Russian for sure, and once they overheard her talking to herself in what Gavin swears is Polish
  • she hates the country of Sweden. None of them are exactly sure why. They’re all too afraid to ask
  • she goes nuts during Thanksgiving. She makes them all help in baking enough to feed a small army, she breaks out the fine china (and every year, someone always breaks at least one piece), and sits them all down at the dinner table, forcing them to smile and play nice and to get off your DS Ray I swear to-
    • they, being contrary assholes, complain. but not very much, because they absolutely all love it and Jack knows it
  • they all like to film things, of course- heist plannings and pranks and drunk shit. But it’s jack who does it the most, she makes these shitty ‘home videos’ and it’s Ray sleeping on the couch and Gavin blowing out the birthday cake and them all yelling and laughing while playing video games and she has about a thousand of these videos and they all tease her for it and mock them but none of them ever complain when they get dragged out and they watch some every holiday and birthday (and one or two disappears for a while every time someone’s had a bad week). Geoff absolutely bawls like a baby every time he watches one
  • she loves shitty Christmas sweaters, she wears them constantly in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Michael gets her a new one every Christmas. She owns 14.
  • she not only remembers all of the birthdays of the crew, but the days that each one joined. She always gets them presents, too, and it’s always perfect. This means that on her birthday you get six guys doing everything in their (considerable) power to get the greatest gift for her possible. It turns into this unspoken competition for who can get her the greatest gift. So far her favorite has been an entire fucking plane that Geoff bought for six million dollars (also the mug that Ray got her that has the Crew Emblem and says World’s #1 Mom which he got ironically but also not and she accepted ironically but also not)
  • She is such a junk food junkie. Anything sweet or salty or served with cheese, she is there which means that she also has to work out all the time and eat a shit ton of vegetables so that she can stay in shape. Luckily her diet is still better than Ray’s
    • ((a homeless cat’s diet is still better than Ray’s))
  • she gives money to charities anonymously more than the other crew members. Her biggest donations always go to women’s shelters, because (and it takes the crew years to learn this) her mom was abused for years, and the two of them spent months in various women’s shelters because they had nowhere else to go
  • she still plays Flappy Bird. No one knows why.

I spent this entire morning cooking food and baking a cake for my mom, apparently it turned out well, i can rest

anonymous asked:

Could you do a really angsty scenario? Like where he's caught "cheating" and the reader is really upset, and breaks things off harshly. Or the really dramatic one, where the reader runs out onto the road and gets into an accident; Leafy is just in shambles, after finding out. I'm just feelings extra angsty sorry :^(

I combined these two into one, I hope that’s okay! I really love doing angsty shit and idk why but I hope you enjoy it, it took me fuckin ages! Thank you so much for the request x


The noise in the club was astounding - the walls vibrated and so did the floor, the whole room pounding as the music vibrated every surface. Sweaty bodies gleamed in the bright lights and it was hard to differentiate one person from another. You stood at the bar away from everyone - this wasn’t usually your scene.
You stood swirling your lemonade around in your glass, looking around for Calvin (who promised he wouldn’t leave you, knowing you didn’t like these things). You felt obligated to join the group of youtubers going clubbing, through you did it reluctantly at best, and Calvin had to literally drag you there with whispered promises that detailed how he was going to make it up to you later.

Now though, you wish you’d stuck to your guns and refused to go altogether.
It began to feel like the walls were closing in on you so you sat your glass on the counter and headed for the door, gasping a little as the cold air hit you.
You stood just outside the club and it was the complete opposite out there than it was inside - the full moon was high in the inky blue sky, illuminating the almost deserted high street. The odd car whizzed by at scary speeds, taking advantage of the empty roads - but not a pedestrian was in sight, and that’s just how you liked it.
You were alone for the first time in hours and you smiled to yourself, drinking in the calmness of the still night.
The dim streetlights did nothing to dampen the glow of the glittering stars overhead and you let your head fall back, admiring the blanket of twinkling lights that shone in the deep blue abyss, seemingly unperturbed by the chaos taking place just under them.
You sighed contentedly, your breath making a small cloud in front of your face.
You decided to go and get Calvin and see if he was ready to go yet, and you desperately hoped he was.
You entered back into the gloomy din, wincing at the noise.
Your eyes scanned the place looking for Calvin as you tried to remember what he was wearing, who he was with…?
You spotted Pyro by the bar, leaning against it cooly while he held a drink in his hand. As you got closer, you realised he wasn’t leaning against the bar to appear nonchalant - it was because he was so drunk he couldn’t stand upright.
You began to smile at the belligerent mess he had gotten himself into until a dancing teenager fell into you, almost knocking you over.
‘Oh! Sorry!’ She apologised and you forced a smile, telling her it was fine.
You shuddered at the smell of alcohol that hung heavy in the air and kept your gaze on Pyro, who was around 15 feet in front of you.
You scanned the area surrounding him, looking desperately for Calvin until your eyes sought out a mess of brown hair and you flooded with relief - until you saw his hat bobbing up and down in front of him.
Not on his head.
What the fuck?
As you got closer you saw a girl around your age wearing Calvin’s hat, simpering and giggling like a fucking schoolgirl as she tried to get closer to him, pressing her chest up against him.
He backed up a little, his back pushing against the bar as his eyes watched her swaying form.
Your blood turned to ice as you watched her lean in and kiss him, his hat falling to the ground as she got closer still, her lips now attached to his.
As if in slow motion, you watched him push her off him and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand as his gaze flickered to yours. His eyes stared straight into yours and you felt hot tears stream down your face and drip onto your shirt.
You turned on your heel, shoving people out of the way in a furious dash to the door.
The tears wouldn’t stop and you couldn’t breathe - you felt like your whole world was crashing down around you. The vision of his perfect plump lips attached to hers, overlined with cheap lipstick, wouldn’t stop playing in your mind like a deadly echo that wouldn’t end.
‘Fucking move!’ You raged, parting the seemingly endless group of people as you felt a light touch on your back and an anguished, ‘Y/n!’
It was Calvin.
You couldn’t face him right now and you pushed on through the crowd until you got to the door, running now.
‘Y/n! Wait - I know what you think but-’
You spun to face him, hatred seething in your gaze as you spat words back at him.
‘You know what I THINK, Calvin?!’ You raged, walking backwards.
You just wanted to get away before you drew any more attention to yourself. You didn’t want to be humiliated in front on the group of youtubers that had accompanied you to the club.
'I leave you for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES and I come back and you’re slobbering all over some whore who doesn’t even have the decency to put on some decent lipstick?!’ Your voice broke as you stopped in the road and you let out a sob at the sight of him - he had her lipstick smeared on his face where he had tried to wipe it off.
'Please, just listen to me! It wasn’t me! She-’ his eyes went wide and he suddenly dashed forward to the kerb, screaming your name. 'Y/N! MOVE!’
You turned, a puzzled expression on your face until you saw a set of headlights come roaring around the corner, moving fast, and an almighty impact on your abdomen made you gasp. Before you knew what was happening you were flying through the air, your hair whipping around your face in a halo before you hit the ground.
You groaned as you hit the concrete and a sharp pain jetted up your leg, making you scream in absolute agony.
Your screams were accompanied by those of several girls that were clustered on the pavement, a cigarette clutched in the hand of each one, their mouths gaping in horror.
'Y/n!’ You heard Calvin’s voice and all you could do was look up at the sky and watch his face came into your line of sight.
'Someone call a fucking ambulance!’ He screamed, taking his jacket off.
He folded the garment and lifted your head gently before putting it in between you and the cold concrete.
The breath caught in his throat as he pulled his hand away from the back of your head - his fingers were now sticky with deep red blood. He wiped it off on his jeans, making sure you didn’t see.
You whimpered and he caressed your face with his hand, his cold fingers travelling across your cheeks before resting at your collarbone.
'Get away from me.’ You managed, pain paralysing your whole body.
'No.’ He said, a tear escaping his eye as he cleared his throat.
You watched the droplet make its way down his beautiful face and you couldn’t avoid the stab of pain that came with his hurt and you wanted to hold him, tell him it was okay and he didn’t need to cry.
'Why are you crying?’ You whispered as a tear escaped your eye, flowing down the side of your face to join the puddle that had gathered on your shirt.
'Because you’re hurt.’ He said, his eyes never leaving yours.
'Why don’t you go and get her to console you?’ You whispered, closing your eyes as a fresh wave of physical and emotional pain took over your senses.
He came closer to you, leaning his forehead against yours.
'You know I would never cheat on you, baby.’ He whispered, new tears traveling down his face, merging with yours.
'She kissed me. I pushed her away - you saw.’
Your eyes were still closed when you spoke.
'Your hat.’
'What?’
'Your fucking hat, Calvin. She was wearing your hat.’ Rage blocked the pain from your body for a split second as you spat the words, dripping in venom as the picture of them together renewed in your mind, the moment captured in your brain with a startling, unforgettable vibrancy. The pain wasn’t held off for long though and it surged back again, making you groan.
'Y/n, that hat is Pyros. She was wearing his hat, not mine.’ He said. 'Mine is still at the bar, where I left it when I took it off because I was too warm.’
You started sobbing, your body shaking.
'She still kissed you.’
'And I pushed her away. Because why would I want anyone else when I’ve got you?’ He said, tears dripping from his face as his hand found yours and he intertwined your fingers, holding onto you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.
You decided this conversation could be continued later due to the extreme pain that was currently overloading your senses.
You tried to sort the thoughts running through your buzzing brain but your couldn’t, so you decided to do the only logical thing that stood out against the blur - see how bad the damage is.
You tried to lift your head to look down at the rest of your body and Calvin jolted into action, holding your face gently but with enough force to restrain you.
'No, lie down. Don’t.’ He said, his voice breaking.
'No I wanna see!’ You insisted, trying to lift your head, but he wouldn’t let you.
He pressed his forehead to yours once again and a new thought made its way to the forefront of your mind. One that made you more terrified than you had ever been in your life.
'I can’t feel my legs.’ You gasped, your eyes meeting Calvin’s as his grip tightened around your hand.
'Ssh, baby.’ He said, his hair tickling your face. 'It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.’
His voice was punctuated by the wail of sirens in the distance and a spark of hope ignited in his eyes.
'See? They’ll be here soon. You’re okay, I’m here. I’m here.’
Your vision began to blur and you mumbled his name as you swam in and out of consciousness. You knew you couldn’t hold on long.
'Y/n? Y/n, baby, stay awake. Please, talk to me. Y/n!’ Calvin’s voice grew hoarse, desperate, as his hand gripped yours ever tighter, as if he could keep you awake by physical restraint.
You opened your eyes as much as you could and reached your arm up, wiping the last of the lipstick off of his face; leaving a smear of blood in its place before everything went black and you couldn’t feel anything anymore.

You woke up to bright white lights and you squinted your eyes, turning your head in order to block out the invasive glare.
Your eyes adjusted to the excessive brightness of the room and a rhythmic beep came to your attention.
You looked down to find a few tubes running out of your arms and a beeping monitor showing your heart rate standing next to your hospital bed.
'Oh for fuck’s sake.’ You thought as you laid eyes on your leg - it was wrapped up in plaster which was a bright green colour - the kind of luminous green that would give you a migraine if you looked at it for too long.
Lying with his head resting in his arms lay a sleeping Calvin, whose fingers were still tangled with yours as his body was supported by your bed.
Your heart leapt when your eyes landed on his other hand, which was covered in blood smears, until you realised it was probably your own blood.
You exhaled slowly, glad that he wasn’t injured.
You began running a hand through his hair, combing strands of it off of his face. His hair was so soft and you watched his brow smooth out from the frown it once held to something that resembled relaxation. His eyelids began to flutter and he suddenly opened his eyes, sitting upright.
'Y/n.’ His voice was rough and gravelly, and it made you want to kiss his pouty lips but you didn’t. You didn’t get a chance to - he had already closed the space between you and his lips moved against yours passionately. It wasn’t lustful but more full of a need so desperate that when he pulled away his eyes glistened once again, prompting you to kiss his nose affectionately.
He weakly smiled at you before speaking.
'I’m so sorry.’ He said, his voice cracking as his gaze met yours. 'I shouldn’t have left you alone when I promised I wouldn’t and I shouldn’t have chased you out onto the road. I swear I’ll never-’
'Hey. It wasn’t your fault, Cal.’ You said gently, silencing him.
He was so full of emotion that it surprised you; your tough, sassy Calvin was nonexistent right now and you couldn’t believe how much he genuinely cared about you. His brown eyes were flooded with sincerity and you knew then and there that he would never cheat on you. He would never hurt his baby.
'I know you didn’t cheat on me. I’m sorry.’ You said, and you leaned in this time, feeling his plump lips against yours once again. No matter how many times he kissed you, it would never be enough.
'Thank god.’ He breathed, resting his forehead against yours.
'Oh, Calvin?’ You asked, remembering something.
'Yeah?’
'Why the fuck is my cast bright green?’ You demanded, a smile tugging at your lips.
'Gotta represent the reptilian brotherhood, babe.’ He said, grinning that adorable grin of his as he sat back in his seat, happy to see you smile once again.


Bad Luck.

Prompt: So I was requested to write a oneshot where Riley “walks in on Lucas”. It was such a funny prompt that I had to do it asap. For the anon that requested it I hope this is okay! I laughed a lot while writing it. haha
Rating: M (just because there’s sexual references in it, not full on smut tho.)
Pairing: Riley x Lucas [rucas]
Word Count: 1,228

♡♡♡

Lucas stared at the wall watching the clocks hands tick one by one, counting down the minutes until the school bell rang. He wasn’t having the best day and it seemed like everything was slowly getting worse and worse. He couldn’t wait to get home.

He was late this morning taking the subway, a bird decided his shoulder was the perfect spot to poop on and he and Riley were still in a fight. Which he attested most of his new found bad luck to. Riley was a beacon of light in his life and without her things just seemed to go wrong. It’s like whenever they didn’t speak, bad things would happen.

The second the bell rings he’s on his feet and heading for his locker to collect the rest of his things. He swiftly pulls on his jacket, shoves the rest of his books into his bag and slams the locker door shut.

The hallway is packed with students trying to hurry and catch their rides while the rest skip to their extracurricular after-school activities. He does his best to maneuver around his classmates and as he rounds the corner to the English wing he feels an arm reach out and pull him into a janitor’s closet.

His girlfriend Riley was on the other end of the yanking which was really out of character for her. Not just because they were in a fight but because she wasn’t really the aggressive type. His eyes grow wide as the beautiful brunette runs her fingers at the hair that laid on the nape of his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

“Riley, what are you doing?” He whispers, trying to keep his voice low so no one would find them in there.

She giggled the kind of laugh that makes his heart flutter, smiling up at the clearly nervous boy. “I missed you.” She sighs, wrapping her arms around his waist.

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