maybe… support mentally ill ppl even when u don’t like their symptoms??? support schizophrenics who frantically search every room they enter because they are scared of Something, support splitting borderlines, jealous narcissists, very sexual histrionics, schizoids who don’t fake empathy, systems with “mean” alters, irritated bipolar people, schizotypals who never “make sense”, paranoids who constantly constantly check on others to see if they’re causing them harm even though they don’t know them, antisocials who don’t try to be “nice”, avoidants who will avoid you for weeks and then message once and disappear again, dependents who can’t even dress without help deciding on what, ocpd people who need you to do things again and again and again until you do it Right, ocd people with “disgusting” intrusive thoughts and compulsions, psychotic people who yell “to themselves” and cope badly with their hallucinations, autistic people who don’t interact the way you want them to, adhd people who literally never sit still or listen to you, anxious people who always sweat, people w ptsd who refuse to let go off their trauma, people with addictions you consider to be “to blame” and with “ugly” withdrawal symptoms and everyone else. mental illness doesn’t just have symptoms you like and you have to accept that.
i. go back to the places where you felt safe. examine your feelings, do you still feel safe on your own? become self reliant.
ii. go grocery shopping. select your memories like frozen peas and wonder bread. most you won’t like to remember, some you will be grateful for.
iii. invent new emotions for yourself, like how a tree feels when the wind blows through it. you are an open window.
iv. find words to describe yourself in ways they never would. observe how your eyelashes make tender shadows on your cheek, how the soft fabric of your favorite teeshirt touches your skin. it is enough.
v. fall in love with everything else. become addicted to morning sunlight and the weeds on your lawn. the moths hovering around your porch light are meant to be there. invite them in.