llama with hats 2

Not Blood

S/O: Why is the floor all red and sticky?
Yandere: I guess you can say it is red and sticky
S/O: What are we standing in
Yandere: Would you believe me if I said it was Strawberry milkshake?
S/O: No I wouldn’t actually
Yandere: Um melted gumdrops?
S/O: No.
Yandere: Boat Nectar?
S/O: No.
Yandere: Oh I got it! Some of God’s tears?
S/O: Just tell me the truth!
Yandere: Fine….it was those two guys who were staring at you on the subway
S/O: wHAT?!

Llamas with Hats sentence starters (pt. 2)

“We’re supposed to be on vacation!”
“I don’t know about you but I am having a WONDERFUL time here.”
“You toppled the South American government while on vacation?!”
“You pushed the resistance leader into a giant death trap!”
“He was a traitor and a scoundrel.”
“He was trying to stop you from killing the rest of the people!”
“It was horrifying- your mouth unhinged like a snake.”
“I can’t go anywhere with you, can I.”
“Whoa, that was a foot. I appeared to have swallowed an entire person.”
“That hurt my feelings, now we’re both in the wrong.”
“I wanna go home.”
“I’m leaving!”
“I should probably mention I filled our luggage with orphan meat.”
“I’m building a meat dragon and not just any meat will do.”
“You know what? Forget it. I’m not even shocked anymore.”
“I feel like I’ve been issued a challenge.”
“I totally don’t remember your name.”
“We’ve known each other for __ years and you don’t know my name?!”
“This has become the norm for you.”
“Now that right there is a mess.”
“There’s an impostor on the loose!”
“I’m not responsible for this. I’ve been jamming on my saxophone all morning.”
“I just had this cleaned yesterday!”
“The footprints lead directly to you!”
“It’s- Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.”
“Who’s laughing? Clearly not all the people who’ve just exploded.”
“I’m leaving, I’ve had enough of this.”
“Friendship is two pals munching on a well cooked face together.”
“Well… you’re probably not gonna like your birthday present.”
“I’m sorry, I thought you liked dead bodies! Clearly there has been a miscommunication.”
“You’re right, it’s not nearly as tasteful as I pictured it inside my head.”
“I think I’m gonna throw u- Oh God, one touched me.”
“That’s not the problem! What made you think any of this was a good idea?!”
“I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.”
“I know you’ve done SOMETHING.”
“You’ve always done something- it’s a lovely day out, we’re having a good time, what did you do?”
“Whatever do you mean? You’re mistaking me for some sort of a scoundrel.”
“I may have created a crack in space-time… through which to collect baby hands.”
“I don’t understand how or why you do anything.”
“I know it’s fucked, but after the last time with the nuke and the faces… I… think I was expecting worse.” 

“Shhh. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of forgiveness.”- Frank

“That’s the sound of people dying, Frank.”- Karen

“That is what forgiveness sounds like: screaming and then silence.”- Frank

—  Frank Castle to Karen Page, probably, at some point in their relationship. (Actually Llamas With Hats, Ep 2)