llama bones

I wonder traded a snorlax and got a snorlax in return.

Also i dont know who the heck joey is but shame on you for naming an innocent gloom “arceus pls”. Get your own damn arceus. Plus i dont even think you can trade legit legendaries, so youre boned. No llama god for u.

heyllama  asked:

Now I just want Stiles to make terrible ice cream come-ons to Derek, who is just horrified by the suggestions. Like holding up cartons of Breyers all "Do you think vanilla or strawberry would make better lube?" Or "Hey! Maybe jimmies could be fun for a blowjob!" And Derek is just so out of his depth that he just nods along and finally Stiles has to come clean, with a fond smile but sad eyes, saying "Sorry I messed with you... but I love you. Really, I love you." (Commence soul-affirming boning)

LLAMA PLEASE.   DEREK’S SO DISCONCERTED, HE MISSES THE SMIRK ON STILES’S FACE, THE ONE THAT SAYS “I’M BEING A LITTLE SHIT, NO REGRETS.”

And maybe Stiles is realizing the effect he’s having on Derek.  Maybe he was looking forward to coming home too, to seeing Derek, to showing off. He’s been told now, a few times, that he’s attractive to gay guys, and to girls, and to the many categories in between, but he still halfway suspected that it was all a mass delusion, and he’d come home to find he hadn’t changed at all.

But he had, it seemed.  Derek had walked into the McCall’s kitchen and a dull, red flush had crept up the back of his neck whenever their eyes met.  Stiles had known what that meant, had accepted the challenge the second Derek scampered out of the house like a skittish deer.  Stiles eventually tracked him to the Coldstone, because Derek has a sweet tooth like no other, and Stiles feels like exploiting it.

It’s intimate, sharing the cup, deliberately sliding his spoon against Derek’s.  He makes his offer, the way he always does but then immediately backtracks to explain it, because he doesn’t want any misconceptions with how he wants tonight to go.  

Derek’s eyes are bright and a little wild but he doesn’t push away when Stiles takes his hand on the walk back to Derek’s place.  He’s pliant in bed, moving where Stiles wants him, arching gorgeously under Stiles’s hands.  Stiles fucks him the way he always wanted to, takes care of him, kisses him everywhere he can reach.

It’s later, when he’s feeling smug and self satisfied, that he starts screwing with Derek for real.  "I can’t believe our first date was over ice cream,“ he says, innocent. 

"Why?” Derek says, sleepily, shifting closer to Stiles’s side.

“Because it’s so sexual.  You’ve heard the new thing with ice cream, right?  It’s all the rage at school, we call it ‘freezer popping.’  You’ll try it with me, right?”

Derek’s not sleepy any more; his eyes are wide open and a little horrified.  "That sounds–“ and there’s a click as he swallows.

"It’s so awesome,” Stiles says, breathily.  "I know you’re going to love it, just american-pieing that carton of Breyer’s,“ and he’s laughing, snorting as unattractively as he’s capable of when Derek shoves him out of bed.  He hits the floor with a thud, and he doesn’t even care, because he's wheezing with laughter, thinking about the look on Derek’s face. 

Derek’s still looking at him, but fondly, exasperatedly, and a little pleased, like maybe he’s reassured that Stiles is still like this, still Stiles.

And maybe Stiles still exploits the way he can blow Derek’s mind, relishes the power his hands and his shoulders can have over Derek sometimes, but when he realizes about the other powers he has, the ones that make Derek vulnerable and soft around him, well maybe he doesn’t exploit those, really.  Not ever.