I had her for Kris Kringle (or whatever the fuck it’s called .. ) I know that my “friends” did it deliberately. When I gave her the present she hugged me of her own accord, twice, and was talking to me for a while. I still know that she hates me though. You can tell by the way she talks down to me; it’s like she talks to me, simply because she has to.
I miss her so fucking much. What’s worse is we’re ‘friends’ now, so I have to talk to her every day and act like everything is fine, when really it’s not. I miss being able to talk to her about anything, or going out with her everyday, or being a complete retard with her. We were literally inseparable, and I thought it would be that way forever.
This is my first Christmas, since I was eleven, without her.
I just miss her so much. She was the best friend I’ve ever had, and I just fucked it all up. I wish I could talk to her and get it back the way it used to be, but I don’t have the balls. I’m scared of instigating something worse between us, and completely losing her.
I wish we never got together (I mean girlfriend-wise) Chances are, we would probably still be closer than sisters.