Day One - Most Awkward Meeting Ever

I had such high hopes when a fresh faced girl with a wide smile plucked me off the shelf and paid for me. She had me gift wrapped in a shiny box that was tied with a large white satin ribbon, which I only know because I’ve seen the shop people wrap other toys. I’d been waiting nearly my whole life for this, to be picked.

If you’ve never been put in a dark box and carried somewhere as a gift, let me tell you it was a thrill. I’m not being sarcastic. I was really thrilled. A whole new world was waiting for me. There would soon be a child to love me and take me places and give me a name. I hoped I’d get a good one and not something terrible like Flopsy or Ears.

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Day Three - In which I have a cunning plan

William was a fan of sad music, and not like looking soulfully into the distance sad. This was full on empty bottle of gin, messy sobbing, and contemplating lying down on some railroad tracks sad. I peeked at his iPod while he was sleeping. It was all Patsy Cline, Hank Williams, and Death Cab for Cutie.

Last night William fell asleep crying into Mr. Bearcy’s stomach. Better the bear than me. At least he’s knitted and he probably won’t tangle or felt up. My fur would be a mess. I could handle a warm embrace. I’d actually really like a hug and I felt terrible for William. I wished I could hug him, but that was against the rules.

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Day Two - You can dance if you want too... I guess.

William was the sort of owner who lay quietly in bed for several minutes after waking. He seemed a quiet and thoughtful person, if a little repressed. What did he do for fun anyway? I supposed I could ask Mr. Snobface, but if I was patient I could just figure it out for myself.

When William did get up he left the bear and I lying on our respective pillows and I was super aware of the staticky air between us. It made my fur go against the nap and I hate that. Worst of all I couldn’t pretend I was asleep anymore because William had said good morning to me and tugged on my ears. It was a friendly tug, you know, affectionate. I would have preferred a gentle hug though. I’m a stuffed toy. I’m meant to be hugged. I’m made to be hugged. My sole purpose is existing is to be hugged and maybe also confided in, and there is the outside possibility that I might need to fight off the odd monster in the closet or the one under the bed. I’ve trained for that though. (Secret: They are afraid of everything. Biggest babies in existence. Just tell them there’s a spider behind them and they will flee. Why do you think they’re hiding in the first place?)

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Day Four - This is Not a Drill

Last night William listened to nothing but The Smiths. He drank a glass of white zinfandel and made Mr. Bearcy dance with him. The bear took it stoically. He did his best to comfort William. It was terrible. Mr. Bearcy obviously didn’t earn his dancing chops from William. I wanted to bury my face in a pillow and weep, but I had to sit uncomfortably listing to the side and not making any faces.

William did pick me up when he came to bed. He stared at me for a long time and pet my ears. It would have been nice if he hadn’t been so miserable about seeing me. I obviously remind him of her in a way that makes his heart break all over again.

This morning William didn’t go to work or eat a bowl of high fiber cereal, a banana, or drink that green sludge that he told Mr. Bearcy keeps his colon healthy.

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Day 7

The neighbors downstairs do have a child–a bright little six year old called Mimi. She found me in the hall right where I’d “fallen” and scooped me up. She hugged me and told me all sorts of stories. It would have been perfect except for Xerxes. Xerxes is an Irish Wolfhound with a jaw made out of titanium.

Mimi and her father managed to free me before too much carnage had been wrought. Her father sewed up the hole in my leg and the one in my ear. All would have been well–but they put in me in the washer and the dryer. My fur will never be the same.

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I've lost track of the days

William and Mr. Bearcy left me home alone for a week and that is best forgotten because it was miserable. When William finally returned he looked terribly sad, but he quietly sewed up my ear again and promised he’d take me with him when he left. I didn’t know that meant I’d be trapped in his suit case. I tried to ask him about Lizzie twice. The first time he left the hotel room. The second, he zipped me inside the suitcase. At present I am not speaking with him even though he apologized.

I am pleased to report that I am back in my spot on the bed.  I have never been so happy to be anywhere in my life. That suitcase smelled like socks. William is a very neat person, but he is a person with feet. Human feet have a very distinctive odor.

The bear is trying to be kind, but I am not speaking to him either. I’m too confused and a little resentful. Where has he been all this time? He wouldn’t answer any of my questions, so when he speaks to me I pretend I can’t hear him. I’m napping a lot.

William has suddenly become extremely agitated about his phone. He’s been pacing the room all evening. His hair is sticking out all over because he’s tugged on it so much.

“William,” the bear says. “Just call her back.”

I nod in agreement and immediately understand. William has had a message from Lizzie. I bounce a little in my spot and twitch my nose in excitement.

William sits at the end of his bed and makes the call. The bear and I creep close, not to eavesdrop, (well maybe a little), but for moral support, should he need it.

“Hello, Lizzie…”

At last! William is talking to Lizzie and Lizzie is talking to William. I glance at Mr. Bearcy and hold up my paw. He leans over and high-fives me. He’s not so bad.

Day 8 - You Can't Always Get What You Want

I was mostly asleep when William came to bed late last night. He asked me how I felt. (Fine, just tired.) He slipped into bed and turned toward me instead of away towards Mr. Bearcy. William did look really tired so I figured he was confused and waited for him to turn over and cuddle the bear.

Instead he drew me gently against his chest. He kissed the spot between my ears and snuggled me while he fell asleep. No clue what had changed, but I was finally allowed to do my job. I nestled into William’s arm and we slept like rocks.

He left early today and I can’t find the bear. I’m worried. Yes. About the bear. He wasn’t in bed last night when I went to sleep, or when I woke up. I’ve looked everywhere in the apartment. I’ve twisted my ears so anxiously that the new stitching popped open. I will need to beg William to repair it when he returns home.

Except he didn’t. There was no bear. There’s no William. It was just me–alone.

I hoped someone would come and get me or explain things in the morning. I hoped William and Mr. Bearcy were OK. I was unable to sleep so I watched infomercials about products so strange I can’t see anyone buying them.

I decided to check my email one last time before going to bed. I waited for my inbox to load, yawning. Two new messages. They could wait. I clapped down the lid and realized what I’d seen. A message from Lizzie!

I opened the laptop and waited for the screen to wake up. There was a message from Lizzie Bennet.

Dear Lizzie,

It is funny that we have the same name. Thank you for your support and for watching the show since the start. I know a big segment of viewers want something to happen between Darcy and I, but I think that’s impossible now. It’s too late.

But thank you for your very kind note.

-Lizzie Bennet

I covered my face with my ears and fell asleep on the desk. Everything felt pretty hopeless. I was willing to wait and see what the morning would bring with it.

Day Five, part ii - Hold the Phone

The bear has been lying to me. I found his online diary. He and William talk to each other. William knows Mr. Bearcy is animate. Does William know about me? If the Enforcers find out–we’re all in big trouble.

What am I going to do?

Lizzie Bennet: still no reply.

I needed to talk to the bear, but William fell face first onto the bed without even taking his clothes or shoes off. He’d body slammed Mr. Bearcy to the mattress. Once I was certain that William was asleep I took his shoes off.

I left Mr Pants-on-Fire where he was and I snuggled up against William’s shoulder to offer whatever feeble comfort I could. Right before I slipped into sleep I thought about how I was going to get the story out of the bear even if I had to pull out all his stuffing to get it.

Day Five - Nothing Much to Report

William’s friend Fitz came and manhandled him into the shower and work clothes and out the door. The bear told me who Fitz was, one of the two times he deigned to speak with me all day. I liked Fitz right off when he came in carrying coffee and yelling, “Get your ass out of bed or I will give you the ‘Gil Perry treatment’.”

William rolled over and ignored him. Turns out the 'Gil Perry Treatment’ meant dumping a bucket of cold water over the person who refused to get out of bed. William was out of bed like a shot, but Fitz had only dribbled a little water on him. It was abnormally quiet in the apartment after they left.

Mr. Silent and Broody was pretty much playing dead. I was tempted to jab him with a pin, but I didn’t have one, or know where any were. Instead I went to check my email to see if Lizzie had responded.

No reply.

Perhaps I needed a better plan. I spent the afternoon watch The Weather Channel and napping.