lizard looking people

reasons why the chainsmokers aint shit:

  • they think they’re revolutionising the music industry, they literally said they are “putting out music everyone copies” like all their songs don’t sound the same lol
  • plagiarised the frays ‘over my head’ on the worst song of 2016 'closer’ (go to 3:33)
  • became a group to get models, they literally admitted they wanted to make music so hot girls would fuck them acting like they don’t look like lizard people
  • talked shit about gaga’s 'perfect illusion’ like they have any right, making the most mediocre music imaginable
  • and finally, let’s not forget this gem of their out of tune vma performance x
some writings

It was a sad day for daddywompus he’d been through much in just a few short hours. He lost his wallet, his husband, and his will to live.

He considered doing something about finding the lost items, but in the end decided against it. Instead, he decided to head to the local market to buy some of his favorite greens.

While he was walking to the market, he came across something

Turns out, it  was deeply unsettling boneless machine.

it made everything else feel different, it scared me.

The fear tore through me like a cold burst of wind on a dark night.
There was no doubt in my mind that tonight was the night I’d meet my untimely end.

I anxiously waited for it, and considered writing a will for my family.

Hours passed, and it still had not arrived, leaving me desperate.

For the love of Slav, why can’t it just come here already?

At that very moment, it had suddenly arrived very much to my surprise.

It was better than i thought it would be!

It made me feel joyous something I hadn’t felt in such a long while, the nerves in my body coming to life in such a way that I felt like I was flying.
It was euphoric and surely there was nothing more satisfying than this; little could make me happier.

I could think of only one thing better than this: hippos.

Hippos have been my favorite animal ever since I was a small child and a hippo saved me from an oncoming train.

The train was full of lizard looking people, it was scary and I wanted to kermit.

They all looked like they were just  about to vore me at any minute, it was incredibly creepy.

But I was so turned on I gave in and now I feel deep shame and that’s why my day sucked assholez.








and the other





I woke up this morning with a massive smile on my face: today would be my first VORE EXPERIENCE™.

I was more ready than ever,,, im ready for this vore experience™,,,  I couldn’t wait to be vored, and I couldn’t wait to be in a warm belly because holy shit that’s so arousing like fap fap fap hisssssss

I suddenly realized I’m horribly delusional and actually I’m in church right now being exorcised because my friends realized how cursed i am.

The priests screamed at my tied down form, their saliva spraying in my face and crosses laid in a circle around me.

I didn’t understand shit, but I refused to speak, I swear it in honor of Sven’s titties.

I swore this oath long ago and I could never bear to break it. Those beautiful, irreplaceable titties… So I kept my mouth shut.

I wanted to just suffocate in them, hoping that would be the last thing id feel before i died.

You’d never guess, but my choking kink was alive and well

on this day; asphyxiation is fucking zaddy af.

So naturally I began the process of tying a rope around my neck for a good time, when Sven looked me in the eye and shook his head slowly.

I didnt know what to do bc the sweet embrace of death sounded too good, the noose hung loosely and sven pulled it over my head “Sven bby what r u doin” I said trashing my limbs wildly “ily and I love death too but sometimes I want to live for,,,Lance McClain”

“This time, though, I no longer wish to live,” I said, throwing myself under the feet of a giant furry.

“I wish to die, alone and bitter the world is lonely and I am also lonely so why don’t we just… you and me baby we ain’t nothing but mammals so let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel, yo.”

When he said that to me I wanted to scream, I didn’t know how to react  at all. It was all raw emotions and self-deprecation…

So instead I threw on my headphones on and played the song that would be the only way to truly express my feelings. Everytime We Touch - Cascada.

I could feel my soul ascend into heaven, man this spoke so deeply to me.

I was dying, right here right now because of the blessed words he spoke.. I was alive… I am alive….

I couldn’t remember a time I had been more ecstatic than I did in this moment.