I have never been with someone for longer than nine months. You and I have been together for six, so I assume something will go wrong soon. You’ll tell me you believe in ghosts, or I’ll reveal that I am terrible at expressing my feelings. But it’s not because I don’t have them. It’s just because I’m used to being let down. But this isn’t fair to you, Criss. This is the happiest I’ve been in a long time, and I’m sorry that I can’t just be a normal person and tell you stuff. Like, nice stuff. Like Greeting card stuff.
“If it’s positive, awesome! We’re having a baby. I wanna name it Frisbee. If it’s negative, awesome. We’re not gonna fight about the name Frisbee, and we get disco fries for breakfast, because we’re sad.”