If the Sternritter had to live in Ichigo’s closet...

As requested by anon. :)

Previously we considered what would happen if some shinigami or the espada decided to live in Ichigo’s closet. Now it is the Quincy’s turn! If they, for some unfathomable reason, found themselves crashing in Ichigo’s closet, how would that go?

1. BG9: Treats it like a sleepover

BG9: So…what’s your favorite color?

Ichigo: For the last time, go to sleep!

BG9: But you said no tentacles! How am I supposed to get data without tentacles AND while being quiet?

Ichigo: This is not DATA time, this is SLEEP time!

BG9: This is the worst sleepover ever.


2. Gremmy: Shapes the closet to his will

Ichigo: Hey, I’m gonna go out for a while. You okay?

Gremmy: Oh, I am more than okay!

Gremmy: BEHOLD!

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: …


Gremmy: It’s not my fault your wifi kinda sucks.

3. Giselle: Won’t stop trying to turn Ichigo into a zombie

Giselle: Whoopsie! I cut my finger on a clothes hanger!

Giselle: Go get my a bandaid, Kurosaki!

Ichigo (reading manga in bed): I’m not going near your blood, Giselle.

Giselle: That’s fair.

Giselle: …

Giselle: Want some tomato juice?

Ichigo: CUT IT OUT

4. Quilge: Keeps trying to trap Ichigo in the closet

Ichigo: Let’s see, I think I’ll wear my Nice Vibe shirt today.

Ichigo: Now I’ll - 

Ichigo: What the hell?

Ichigo: Why is the closet closed behind me?

Ichigo: [slides closet open]

Quilge: Congratulations, Kurosaki Ichigo! I cannot believe you escaped my Jail!

Ichigo: It’s not hard to open a closet from the inside.

Quilge: Not hard to get out of a ball either, but -

Ichigo: You don’t have to bring that up every three seconds!!

5. Cang Du: Is stoic about closet-living

Ichigo: Sorry my closet is kinda small for a tall guy. You okay?

Cang Du: I am fine.

Ichigo: Sorry that the only pajamas I had are the ones Chad left which have baby bunnies on them.

Cang Du: It is fine.

Ichigo: Sorry that Kon is currently clinging to your head for some reason.

Cang Du: It is fine.

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: So if my clothes get wrinkly can I have you iron them, or…?

Cang Du: You cannot get a rise out of me that easily.

Ichigo: Man, you’re good!

6. Bazz-B: Tries too hard

Bazz-B: Cool shirt, man!

Bazz-B: This shirt is cool too!

Bazz-B: This shirt is Abarai’s eyebrows level of cool!

Ichigo: …why are you looking at all of my shirts and complimenting them?

Bazz-B: Abarai told me you only fight your friends. So I’m becoming your friend.

Ichigo: The fighting comes before the friendship. Not after.

Bazz-B: Oh.

Bazz-B: In that case…

Ichigo: NO

7. Liltotto: Won’t stop eating

Ichigo: Hey, where’s my favorite shirt? The one that’s too small and shows my belly but it’s okay because I wear another shirt under it?

Liltotto: I ate it.

Liltotto: And all of your ugly clothes.

Liltotto: You’re welcome.

Ichigo: W-what??

Liltotto: Your taste in clothes is worse than Bambi’s taste in men, to be honest.


8. Bambietta: Keeps inviting Ichigo in

Bambietta: I can’t sleep in this stupid ugly closet, Kurosaki!

Bambietta: Wanna…join me? 

Ichigo: No thanks.

Kon: I’LL JOIN YOU!!!!!!

Ichigo: KON NO

9. Candice: Doesn’t seem to like the closet

Candice: Sleeping in your STUPID CLOSET has RUINED MY HAIR!

Candice: NOW YOU DIE!!!!!!!!

Ichigo: Candice it’s five in the morning can we please do this later?

Candice: NO

10. Askin: Installs a cappuccino maker 

Ichigo: [opens closet]

Askin: Fresh coffee?

Ichigo: [closes closet]

11. Ishida: Tries to be helpful

Ishida: Look, Kurosaki! I added capes to ALL of your shirts!

Ishida: Now everybody will know about your Quincy heritage!

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: You also appear to have bleached them all white.

Ishida: Yeah, it’s shocking how much color you had in your clothes!

Ishida: Quincy wear WHITE clothes!


12. As Nodt: Treats it like a sleepover

As Nodt: So……….what would you say is your deepest and darkest fear?

As Nodt: Mine is death.

As Nodt: Death is scary.

As Nodt: But you feel more like a “lives while all his friends die” sort of guy.

As Nodt: Spot on or nah?

Ichigo: …I am so done letting people stay here.