living utopia

‌I love you. When I say this, I don’t know if you even realise how deeply I mean it. Sometimes you just smile back at me and say you love me too and sometimes just kiss me. But my love is much above these words. I mean it right from my soul, I love you with everything I am and I have. I don’t know how to express in one word or gesture my love for you. But you scare me sometimes. I know you are a realistic person and talk only what is right and logical, but baby am the type of a person who believes in fairy tales, in never ending love and in happily ever after. And all this reality scares me. Please let me live in this utopia, where you exist, are still with me and will always be.
—  Nidhi Bhasin


A traveller meets the three queens and their kingdoms…

The Queen Of Heaven sits on her throne, surrounded by an absolute perfect vision of loyalty. Grand and mighty, she rules an empire built for centuries to last. Surrounded by warriors, lovers… the world awaits the Queen Of Heaven to conquer and to rule. Believing she lives in the perfect utopia which was of her making, she is a worrisome danger.

The Queen Of Purgatory is the queen of love, as that motivates her. She’s climbing, forever it seems and facing challenges that test her pride, her wrath and her gluttony. This journey does not doom this queen, but strengthens her to become the Queen she is. She must encounter sinners and saints alike in her journey, and must make key decisions that will determine her fate. 

The Queen Of Hell is a tormented soul. Labelled as the Queen Of Hell, she’s lost within her darkness. Her story is one that is tragic and sad, and the Underworld is a twisted, warped place that is mysterious and unknown. Whilst this fears off travellers, the Queen embraces the darkness. She accepts the rejects, the unholy, the sinners and creates a strong army out of it. Her kingdom is as fearful as is its unlikely. 

Part of yourself that will be vague or you will be confused about

Neptune in 1st: How you see yourself. You will be confused about who you are and will keep searching for yourself in other people’s eyes until you realize that people’s reaction and image of you is not what defines you but how you view yourself does. 

Neptune in 2nd: Money. You are probably bad at saving calculating money and you easily give them to who ever needs it. you will waste your money on art and music and your work can be related to art and music. 

Neptune in 3rd: Your thinking is blurred. your ideas are scattered and unorganized , you also may have problem in focusing and you may stutter when you speak. when you speak your words are always soft and sweet. relationship with siblings is very victimizing as you may always take the blame for their mistakes. 

Neptune in 4th: Meaning of family. you will have idealistic views of how a family should be but you may be disappointed because your family do not hold these views. you will always be confused about your roots and mother as you can never clearly see your mother. she may haven’t been there for you when you needed her or she doesn’t provide you with the amount of love that you need. 

Neptune in 5th: Passion. You are passionate about many thing yet you don’t know what they are and every time you think you finally found something you are passionate about you lose interest fast and go to another one.  

Neptune in 6th: Work. You procrastinate a lot in your work and tend to be lazy and you lose energy fast. you are also probably bad at organizing work and you are messy when it comes to your health as you might forget eating or drinking water sometimes. 

Neptune in 7th: Relationships. You fall in love easily and you tend to idealize that person and see them as angels but when you realize they have flaws too you become disoriented and confused. you want love like that exists in movies and dramas where both of the lovers sacrifice and die for each other. 

Neptune in 8th: Intimacy. You will be confused about intimacy and might give of yourself too much and sacrifice for your partner a lot. You will have fears of abandonment and alone which might make you clingy and you might turn a blind eye to your partner's flaws just to keep the relationship going. Just like Neptune in 7th you will idealize these relationships and you will see your partner as an angel instead of who they really are.

Neptune in 9th: Beliefs. You will be confused about what you believe in or what people make you believe in. People may play with your beliefs and make you believe their own beliefs. Sometimes you will feel empty when it comes to faith and beliefs. You might change your beliefs constantly until you find the right one.    

Neptune in 10th: Ambition. You will be confused about what is it that you want to work in and you might work different jobs until you find the right one. You will have vague relationships with authorities (father as well) as they will true to mold you to their own liking. People will see what they want to see in you but not the real you.  

Neptune 11th: Friendships. You will have lots of confusing friendships, you will be idealistic when it comes to your friends and you will see them as you want to them to be but not for who they really are. May have artistic and introverted friends and you may also end relationships suddenly because they become harmful to you than good. Very idealistic and you want to be able to live in a utopia one day. 

Neptune 12th: Dreams. You will have weird dreams that sometimes may be a prediction or a message to warn you about something, maybe its your subconscious trying to make sense of everything that is going on or is actually trying to help you to full wake up and be aware of your surroundings. in your dreams you will feel like Alice falling in the rabbit hole and with no way out. in your dreams you will feel everything and will interact with the objects in your dreams at the same time you will also be watching the dream as if it is a movie.   

This is a rant. 

I kinda hate how when women start to approach the subject of marriage, with suitors and everything, they’re always told to not look for beauty and as long as he’s a ‘good man’ then she’s good. But with men, it’s absolutely normal for them to have certain beauty standards set or a type, which is definitely acceptable. 

The thing is, beauty does matter. You can fool yourself and pretend that it doesn’t, and yes, I know, a pretty face isn’t everything, and yes there are tons of other attributes to look for in a spouse. But, beauty does matter. You’ll be living with that person for a while, if it wasn’t for your entire life. You both, at least,  need to accept each other’s appearances, have chemistry and be attracted to one another. Beauty comes in all colors, shapes and sizes; and we’re all uniquely beautiful. But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder; here’s the catch, the person you’re going to marry needs to be beautiful in your eyes and you need to be beautiful in theirs. 

Attraction is the fuel that kickstarts your marriage, and your intellect, interests and heart are the ones that keep it going. 

>be me
>live in libertarian utopia
>wake up
>no internet because DARPA was never funded and thus it wasn’t developed
>eat breakfast
>hope I don’t die of heavy metal poisoning because there are no regulations regarding food safety
>walk outside
>get in my car
>hope I don’t get hit because there’s no regulations requiring seat belts or airbags
>driving along the dirt road to my job at megacorp because there are no roads
>work for 9 hours with a 15 minute break to eat my hopefully toxin free food
>drive home from work to greet my daughter
>who’s completely illiterate and can’t go to school because there are no public schools and I can’t afford private school
>just as I pull up to the house, a guy in a van with free ice cream snatches my daughter and drives off in a cloud of dust
>call the private police company
>“please note you will be charged $19.95 for this call”
>they give me a quote for $1000 to investigate my daughter being kidnapped
>only make $800 a month because no labor laws
>politely decline
>walk home
>get stabbed for my shoes
>nearby private police contractor can’t interfere because I don’t have coverage with their company
>can’t afford to go to the hospital, but then I’d probably die there anyway because there’s no requirements for hospitals to practice proper sanitation
>megacorp inherits my house because that’s what my employment contract said in the fine print
>reflect on how fantastic life is without that oppressive government