living in denial

let’s live in denial
of how we didn’t
want to break
each other’s hearts
just because ours
were broken and
we wanted to know
how breaking
someone else’s heart
feels like, let’s not lie
about how
we wanted to know
what it felt like
to be so damn powerful
that one word
could break someone’s heart
—  Let’s pretend how we never meant to kill each other even with the murder weapon in our hands and each others blood on our souls // JustScribbledWords
let’s live in denial
of how we didn’t
want to break
each other’s hearts
just because ours
were broken and
we wanted to know
how breaking
someone else’s heart
feels like, let’s not lie
about how
we wanted to know
what it felt like
to be so damn powerful
that one word
could break someone’s heart
—  Let’s pretend how we never meant to kill each other even with the murder weapon in our hands and each others blood on our souls // JustScribbledWords

anonymous asked:

Can you believe larries have been wreaking havoc in Louis and Harry's lives and affecting the lives of anyone who breathes near them for six years all bc two boys used to be close friends. I remember a text post from years ago that said Louis or Harry could be filmed fucking a girl and larries would still live in denial and Louis went and had a baby and proved them right. Why can't they just take their six years worth of L's and leave? It only gets worse from here

And they’re saying that!! That they expect it’ll get worse over the next few months to a year! They’re bracing for fucking winter lmfao. I mean at some point you just gotta let them I guess. But I love how one of them says, ok but what’s the worst thing you can imagine for Louis? Two stunts (girlfriend and baby) at once, right? And I am like, I see your two stunts and raise you: eventual other children and marriage to a woman. Shock and awe.

Will they be like I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY HAVE LOUIS TIED UP IN THREE STUNTS WITH TWO FAKE GOVERNMENT DOCUMENTS AND HARRY IS OUT THERE SERVING HIS SENTENCE TO RELEASE A THIRD ALBUM AND STAR IN ANOTHER MOVIE AND LIAM HAS A SECOND FAKE BABY AND AN ENGAGEMENT AND ZAYN HAS HIS OWN FUCKING BABYGATE AND NIALL HAS TO KEEP PRETENDING HE LIKES GOLF I’M TIRED JUST END IT

I mean yes, likely.

2

Five days ago I got a call that would change my life. My manager said there was a girl claiming she was pregnant and I was the father. 

Four days ago I woke up still drunk from the night before, my head aching as mind reeled. 

Three days ago I chose to live in denial because let me tell you ignorance is fucking bliss. 

Two days ago my phone rang non-stop, as soon as I send the call to voicemail it would ring again. 

One day ago I woke up to sixty three missed calls and way too many voice mails, instead of listening to the messages I threw my phone against the wall. 

By the time this morning rolled around I was already so god damn sick of myself, this was my life and I’d be damned if I’d let some money hungry gold digger try to drag me down. 

Fucking chicks, they want to tie you down, change you to be who they wan’t and when that doesn’t work they try to trap you. Well I say fuck that. Not bothering to shower I rush over to my manager’s office, his door is open so I let myself in. 

“You look like shit.” He points out as I take a seat across from him. No sympathy, none. 

I don’t doubt it, I feel like shit, but I’ve got no patients this shit is out of my control so I ignore him, I brush him off rapidly firing off questions, “Who is this girl? Are you sure she’s even really pregnant? How can we know for sure I’m the dad?” 

Adrian looks me dead in the eyes, fuck my stomach sinks because there is conviction in his gaze, whatever information he has, his minds been made. 

“She’s willing to do a DNA.” He shuffles some paper around on his desk, picking one up to read before leaning over and handing it to me, “She asked that you not call her just show up her and leave a sample.” 

Fuck my life this couldn’t be happening. 

anonymous asked:

You've survived in what seems to be a pretty hell-ish program - do you have tips on what to do if you just feel overwhelmed and everything seems impossible and you just wanna give up? Sincerely, stressed uni student anon

I live in constant emotionless denial of what’s happening around me and don’t sleep :))))

I heard someone recently say that one of the differences between being queer and being disabled is that with being disabled one doesn’t necessarily have to come out to people and that one doesn’t risk losing family support; so I wanted to put this out there: I’m both and I’ve done both.

*My relationship with my mom is very complex, so no judgment, I love her very much and I am always optimistic that our relationship can improve, I just want people to know how this narrative can go down.

I came out as queer to my mom years ago and she did not take it very well, she yelled at me, sobbed, called me names, kept her distance for a while, asked me to not tell anyone else (stay closeted). She made me feel a lot of shame, she made gag noises whenever there was gay PDA on a TV screen, lots of passive aggressive bullying. She was not accepting, and it’s still something she is working through, it has gotten better though.

A few years ago I started progressively losing abilities and becoming increasingly symptomatic of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Slowly my pain levels became more consistent and I started using a cane to be mobile, then a wheelchair, now that my arm joints have become too lax, need a power chair. In between all that, doctors had no idea what was going on and ultimately I diagnosed myself (in my head) before I got the official chromosome results from my geneticist.

Being open online about an invisible illness invites a lot of skeptics to do as they will and make accusations based on their ignorance. Being in public, same thing, because of the way I look people are in disbelief that I am sick; they approach me and demand my diagnosis in public, I’ve been told I was going to hell for using a power shopping cart in a grocery store, bleh, people suck. (Stop approaching people just because they don’t “look” disabled to you)

I literally have the blood test results in my hands, in print, and I CHAMP my way through daily epic symptoms… My mom won’t accept it.

I had to come out to my mom as sick. And honestly, her reaction was bigger and more hurtful than when I came out as queer. And it is so tough, existing in a world that attacks me because they might not believe that I am sick and then to have my mom be in denial, literally tonight she said, “I refuse to believe that you are in pain all the time”

Sorry, to let you all know, yes, it’s all the time, pain is as consistent as a heart beat, if I’m conscious, I am in pain. My feet feel a stabbing pain as though they were trapped in blocks of ice, my back feels like a piece of glass is lodged in it, my muscles are cramped from the extra work they try to do to compensate for my weak joints.

My mom talks about me as though my illness isn’t real and every day is not a battle.

If I’m struck with a narcoleptic episode that knocks me out for 18 hrs, if I can’t be around harsh chemicals, or use my arms and legs to pressure clean, if I can’t move from the bed to even feed myself because the pain levels are too high that day, I’m “LAZY”.

Parents don’t accept their kids’ disabilities all the time, my experience is not an isolated one, and some of us, do have to come out to our parents as disabled. They don’t always accept it. We don’t always have their support.

3

legends of tomorrow +  head, heart and hands addresses the three main motivational systems that affect people. some prefer cognitive approaches, some prefer affective and some prefer practical. and all three influence all of us to some extent. (insp)