-I witnessed a young girl in a tiara being pushed around the store, the soundtrack to Moana being blasted from an indeterminate location. She has figured it out. She is living the true Disney princess life.
-Two squabbling toddlers came through my lane. As expected, stickers soothed the savage youth instantaneously, turning them into pinnacles of behavior. I am convinced that I have been unwittingly brought into a Snickers commercial as the Supplier.
-A man zoomed past my lane, hustling and hobbling on his way towards the bathroom, his eyes darting all around, his hands clutching a hidden object beneath his shirt. I am grateful for the shoplifters who opt to take it easy on me. It is far too early for me to be at the top of my game, and I appreciate the handicap.
-A boy chanted, “Circle paint. Circle paint. Circle paint.” He grasped a wooden circle and a bottle of paint. I suspect that he intends to coat the circle with the paint. Only time will tell.
-Moments after being berated and ridiculed by a pair of elderly women, I was visited by a pair of puckish toddlers. Somehow sensing how crestfallen I had become, they stepped up their antics, making the most absurd facial expressions and noises in a heartfelt attempt to cheer me up. I am pleased to say that their endeavors were a positive success.
-I passed by a mother sternly explaining to her two year-old son that, were he to smack my manager, he would be sent directly to jail. I am not sure what he could have done to warrant such a warning, but this child does not seem too likely to heed it.
-A woman asked if we carried shoes. I told her that we did. She asked me where they were. I gave her detailed directions. She continued with her purchase. I asked her if she would like to go back to look. She told me that she was not interested in shoes. I do not know what I was thinking to presume as much of her.
-While attending to urgent corporate business, I found a comic book pamphlet entitled, “TITANIC” sitting on the toilet paper dispenser. Upon further inspection, I have found that it is a Christian story of how the Titanic hit the iceberg due to one man saying that he hated Jesus. This is not the first piece of religious literature, or religerature, that I have found in this stall, and I cross my fingers that it will not be the last.
-A woman asked if the shirts that she had just purchased had pockets. After I confirmed that they did not, she explained that she was worried as my shirt did. The shirt that I was wearing was by no means the same style, type, or brand, and had come from a different store, but I am a firm believer that it is always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to pockets.
Send in a soulmate AU for a starter, or send in a
for a random one
1. Red String of Fate: The ring finger of soulmates are connected by a red string. Some people can see them and some can’t. The strings gain more threads once the soulmates find each other, but if one soulmate starts to die, the threads will slowly turn black and fade away.
2. Light Up My Heart: Soulmates find each other by affectionate touches causing their chests to glow. It’s impossible for either soulmate to light up if one or both is constantly hurting the other. The touches must be gentle.
3. First Words: The first words your soulmate will say to you are on your wrist in their handwriting. Good luck finding them when it’s something generic.
4. First and Last Words: You have your soulmates first words to you on one wrist and the last words they’ll ever say to you on the other. You have no idea which is which, but they are quite ominous.
5. Tally Marks: (Not exactly a soulmate au, but close enough). When person A falls in love, a red tally shows up on their arm. If the person loves them back, it turns black, and if the person dies, it turns into a scar.
6. Timer: A timer on each person’s wrist counts down to the moment they will meet. Either this is with them from the moment they were born or they can choose to get one around the age of 13, it’s up to the writers.
7. Colours: The world is in black and white until you meet your soulmate. Afterwards, the world is in colour until your soulmate dies.
8. Colours (Alternate): You can only see colour when your soulmate is with you and you’re touching. This gives a whole new meaning to them bringing colour to your world.
9. Writing: Everything you write on your skin shows up on your soulmates skin in the same spot. You can communicate that way if you wish, but it fades from their skin long before it fades from yours.
10. Can’t We Be… Eighteen?: People age until they turn 18, then they stop aging until they meet their soulmate. As long as their soulmate is alive, they continue to age, even if they aren’t around each other, so was it the pizza guy? That random customer? Killing your soulmate will make you freeze in your aging again. Polyamorous soulmates will age at half the rate they should until all the members of their relationship have been met. (OT3+ Safe)
11. Soul Crushing: You can feel an intense pain in your soul when your soulmate is in danger, enough danger to get them killed. This has saved many lives, but how can you save someone you’ve never met before?
12. My Inner Voice, That’s Me, Right?: The voice in your head, always giving you advice and expressing problems, that’s your soulmates voice. Does it sound familiar, or is it a voice you have never heard before?
13. Through My Eyes: When you were a child, you briefly saw the world through someone else’s eyes. This was confusing and frightening, especially to such young children, especially since the other person got into an awful accident. Now as an adult, you can talk to each other, see through each other’s eyes, and feel what the other person is touching.
14. Guardian Angel: If someone’s soulmate dies before they’re able to meet, the dead soulmate can choose to become a spirit to protect their soulmate. They do whatever they can so their soulmate can live a full life.
15. Real Life Disney Singing: Every time your soulmate starts singing, you have an odd urge to burst out in the same song (and you can’t fight this)
16. The Name of the Game: You have two names on your arms, one is the person you’re destined to fight, and the other is your soulmate. You don’t know which is which.
17. The Name of the Game (Alternate): You have one name on your wrist and it’s your soulmate. Isn’t that name pretty common? Why aren’t last named included?