live: rock am ring


know I’ve been talking about this nonstop ever since it happened. But here’s my Austin Carlile experience. 

It was the 3rd time I got to see Of mice & men live this year. The first time I saw them live was in Cologne in April, I met Alan, Aaron and Tino and got pictures/got to talk to them which is something I’m still so happy about. While Issues were playing, I had to sit outside due to a panic attack because there were many people, and I was feeling dizzy due to not eating anything out of excitement anyways. That was when Austin walked past me and gave me a “Hey, I’m sorry I’m in a hurry!” and rushed away. 

Then, I spent ALL my money and annoyed my friends and parents for ages to get to go to Rock Am Ring just to see them, I have bad anxiety when it comes to crowds and I was 100% sure I was going to stay out of crowds, but I actually pushed myself into first row and overcame the anxiety slightly for the 40 minutes they were playing.

Then, and now comes the most important of these 3, I went on a 5 hour bus and train drive to The Netherlands to a festival where I heard they were giving a signing, this was almost two weeks ago, June 14. I was so excited all morning, couldn’t eat anything at all, because I was finally going to see my Idol, and om&m again. After about 45 minutes of waiting in the line, the signing started. My heart beat faster than ever and I was actually shaking and felt sick. 

Phil, Tino, Alan and Aaron were lovely as always and I want to get this as short as possible and I’ll make a post about meeting the rest anyways, so Im going straight to when I got to Austin.

“Hi!” he said while looking into my eyes and my heart stopped beating for a second. I showed him my tattoo that I got of his handwriting, it’s off a note he wrote me that said “You’re not alone you’re with me”

He grabbed my arm and got so happy about it. Then I gave him the notebook I started doing for him, and he laughed about it because the cover said “LOST BOYFRIEND: If it’s you or you look similar please get in touch ASAP” And had a picture of him. It included alot of letters about personal stuff. He thanked me for it and put it down carefully. He then asked for my name, and I went “Michelle”. He signed my CD cover and said “Beautiful, that was my mothers middle name.” Stupid me, only found one answer to that which was “I know” I must of sounded like such a creep oh god.

Anyways then I did something which took me alot to speak out, I said “Thank you for saving my life” And he stood up and hugged me, and I will never forget this, and I will never get over this. He did it without having to, he hugged me and I was not only okay, but happy. I cried into his shoulder abit (still embarassed.) 

After the whole thing I had a emotional breakdown, and after that I stood in the first row of the watching place which was just infront of Austin. While hugging a girl, he looked at me, and I almost cried again. Then he did it again. 

When the rest were gone and most of the people were gone, Austin stood up and went “Who wants my monster energy?!” And this girl next to me went “me me me” and he had already almost given it to her until I realized what was going on and went “Hey me” silently because I knew it was too late.

Well, it wasnt. He looked at me, smiled and ended up giving it to me. 

Me and my friend had to get a hotel later because the trains don’t drive back to Germany after 11PM (we wanted to stay in McDonalds until the next train left which was 7am but it closed at 1AM) and in the hotel I actually cuddled with, yep, a monster energy can. I’m insane.

Yeah nobody will read this but I had to put it in here, and I need to say this again.

Thank you Austin Carlile for being the reason I’m still here at all.