and in the meantime the rubble will keep us safe enough
from the storms thrown at us +

nolietoherfire asked:

How has your and Ryan's relationship grown since you've been on the road?

Hmm, well with anything, living with someone exposes your flaws tenfold. But living with someone when you spend 24/7 with them and are under really stressful circumstances daily….. really, really exposes your flaws. lol.

There’s been amazing times on this trip and then moments like last night where I just bawled and told Ryan I was struggling with being happy and finding joy and I just felt like everything was dark and awful and terrible all the time because my thoughts were making it that way and how I am just so ashamed of myself. 

And that is what I think has grown about our relationship - I think the most wonderful thing about this trip is that we have become more vulnerable with one another. Things aren’t always good. Sometimes I’m sad. Sometimes he misses home. But we are with one another and will tell one another everything in a deeper way that we didn’t know how to before. To be that vulnerable, even more so than any other year, with another human being deepens your bond and allows you to accept yourself just a little bit more and love yourself just a little bit more, which allows you to love them more.

I feel like, being with Ryan all the time has enabled me to know myself more and find the wounds I’ve/or others have inflicted on myself over the past ten years. And it’s been painful. But it’s been needed, because now the healing process has started and we’re walking the place of vulnerability and freedom together. We’ve also discovered new things about God and a whole new way of loving him and how he loves us - and we’ve discovered so much of that together. 

And I’ve seen even more so, how strong Ryan is. How he accepts himself as worthy and that in turn allows him to accept others as worthy. How he loves others and values their opinion. How he unconditionally loves and wants to serve me. How his emotional openness and vulnerability is something to be treasured. And I love him and trust him so much more.


mylittlechimera asked:

Do you think that Anders liked being a Grey Warden? We all know that there are parts that he really hated like Deep Roads, but as a general rule. He seems to be okay with it if Warden-Commander treats him right and there is one of legacy banters where he mentions that he honestly expected the Grey Warden thing to be for life and that he was ready to make that commitment.

I think he really did, honestly. Of course, the details of the job weren’t always great (very, very few people really like fighting darkspawn for a living, and the Deep Roads are unsettling enough for those who aren’t claustrophobic and afraid of the dark; I can only imagine how horrible they’d be for Anders), but I think what he got out of it was far more important than that.

Because assuming the Warden-Commander has a good relationship with him (my main method for playing Awakening is basically ‘start by burying Anders in gifts until he can’t move, then get to the story bits’ lmao), it actually was a very pleasant experience from a social standpoint. His commander liked him, gave him all sorts of nice things (including Pounce, his best friend/therapy animal), he had friends, maybe a lover (depending on your headcanon), acceptance, and no one was going to force him into a cage any time soon. From Anders’ point of view, that’s basically the jackpot.

I mean, as he says, the Warden decides that he’s “worth the trouble” despite him being “usually a lot of trouble”, which is something he’s not really used to. I personally believe that by the end of his time in the Circle, he had few friends left due to just how much trouble he got into. And of course, he spent most of his later years escaping or enduring punishment for said escapes. Doesn’t exactly win you many friends.

But then he ends up with the Wardens through some twisted turn of fate. The Warden-Commander treats him well, likes him, and actually helps him with destroying his phylactery (even though it was a trap). They defend him, and continue treating him well despite that making things difficult for them. And as more people are recruited, Anders finds friends. I’d argue he got along better with the Awakening crowd than the Kirkwall crew, and these people probably did start to feel like a little bit of a family. He found something in Amaranthine he’d never had before: acceptance. These people liked him, would fight with and for him, and weren’t turned off by him being a mage or his delinquent ways.

So yeah, I think he really did enjoy it, and that he truly did mean to stay for life until everything went to hell. It seems basically that after the Warden left, that’s when things really got bad. He lost his family, then his cat (which I think was the last straw, tbh. After Pounce was gone, he no longer had ties left, so that’s when I think he decided to leave and fight for the rights of mages, merging with Justice in the process). Then he merged with Justice, and was attacked by Templars despite the fact that he was supposed to be safe from them here. So all of that bad piled up and he didn’t see any other choice. He felt trapped and alone, something he very much doesn’t like, and that’s why he left.

Had the Warden-Commander been allowed to stick around (because Bioware basically said ‘fuck player agency’ with a lot of what happened there), or if Anders had gone with them, or if the new Warden-Commander hadn’t been a dick, I think he absolutely would’ve stayed for life. Everything he’d always wanted was there. If you think back to how Alistair describes what being a Warden was like before Ostagar, that’s basically what Anders had. Despite the darkspawn bit, they had fun. They were a family who loved and accepted each other, despite most of them being grumpy children. They were bonded through blood, just in a different way.

And if he hadn’t had all of it taken away, I don’t think he ever would’ve left. Because he was happy. And, thanks to the World of Thedas vol 2, we know that when Anders is happy, he stays put. It’s not until things/people/creatures he loves are taken away that he tries to run, and that’s exactly what happened post-Awakening.

I’ve finally seen Mad Max Fury Road. And it certainly lived up to expectations! It really is an onslaught of imagery and sounds and motion, it’s almost draining to watch. But also very intriguing. 

I’m not an action-film fan, in general. I often find the genre a bit boring and mindless. I am, however a fan of the post-apocalyptic genre (if that is indeed a genre). And what made this film work for me is the universe it inhabits. It’s extremely surreal and wonderfully intriguing. You can tell that this is a fully formed universe we - and Max - are momentarily dumped into. So much isn’t explained, there’s a whole slew of absurd details and strange characters with backstories which are only briefly touched on. But all these details, all form a universe we’re only getting a little glimpse into. It seems to me that nothing we see is random, it’s all purposeful, whether or not we know what that purpose is. And I like that, I like that many things are only hinted at, because while the story of the film is very. very simple, the underlying universe is very, very complicated. You’re allowed, as an audience to imagine it yourself. Which is always a lot more interesting rather than have it all spelled out in huge letters. The payback is much greater this way.

That said, there were times the relentless action made me a little tired, but then something else happened, or things quieted down for a minute and I was drawn back in. I particularly loved the glimpses into the insanity inside Max’s head, they were probably the scariest thing of the film, I felt, the way they were so speeded up and fuzzy yet sharp and harsh. Seems like a lot that Max was doing, particularly in the beginning, was done at twice the speed, imitating Max’s own manicness, perhaps?

And yes, this indeed a film about strong women, fighting back. It’s glorious. I loved the relationship between Max and Furiosa, it’s an intriguing alliance. Tom is amazing as always. But as my friend commented: he should stop doing the grunting thing, he’s done it a few too many times now, it’s getting old. It worked for Max, but you know, it’ll soon be like he can’t do anything else. When we know he’s capable of anything! :)

The bigger the crowd the more negligible the individual becomes. But if the individual, overwhelmed by the sense of his own puniness and impotence, should feel that his life has lost its meaning- which, after all, is not identical with public welfare and higher standards of living- then he is already on the road to state slavery and, without knowing or wanting it, has become its proselyte. The man who looks only outside and quails before the big battalions has no resource with which to combat the evidence of his senses and his reason. But that is just what is happening today: we are all fascinated and overawed by statistical truths and large numbers and are daily apprised of the nullity and futility of the individual personality, since it is not represented and personified by any mass organization. Conversely, those personages who strut about on the world stage and whose voices are heard far and wide seem, to the uncritical public, to be born along on some mass movement or on the tide of public opinion and for this reason are either applauded or execrated. Since mass suggestion plays the predominant role here, it remains a moot point whether their message is their own, for which they are personally responsible, or whether they merely function as a megaphone for collective opinion.

Under these circumstances it is small wonder that individual judgment grows increasingly uncertain of itself and that responsibility is collectivized as much as possible, i.e., is shuffled off by the individual and delegated to a corporate body. In this way the individual becomes more and more a function of society, which in its turn usurps the function of the real life carrier, whereas, in actual fact, society is nothing more than and abstract idea like the state. Both are hypostatized, that is, have become autonomous. The state in particular is turned into a quasi-animate personality from whom everything is expected. In reality it is only a camouflage for those individuals who know how to manipulate it. Thus the constitutional state drifts into the situation of a primitive form of society, namely the communism of a primitive tribe where everybody is subject to the autocratic rule of a chief or an oligarchy.

The dictator state has one great advantage over bourgeois reason: along with the individual it swallows up his religious forces. The state has taken the place of God; that is why, seen from this angle, the socialist dictatorships are religions and state slavery is a form of worship. But the religious function cannot be dislocated and falsified in this way without giving rise to secret doubts, which are immediately repressed so as to avoid conflict with the prevailing trends towards mass-mindedness. The result, as always in such cases, is overcompensation in the form of fanaticism, which in turn is used as a weapon for stamping out the last flicker of opposition. Free opinion is stifled and moral decision is ruthlessly suppressed, on the plea that the end justifies the means, even the vilest. The policy of the state is exalted to a creed, the leader or party boss becomes a demigod beyond good and evil, and his votaries are honored as heroes, martyrs, apostles, missionaries. There is only one truth and besides it no other. It is sacrosanct and above criticism. Anyone who thinks differently is a heretic, who as we know from history, is threatened with all manner of unpleasant things. Only the party boss, who holds the political power in his hands, can interpret the state doctrine authentically, and he does so as suits him.

Even a dictator thinks it necessary not only to accompany his acts of state with threats but to stage them with all manner of solemnities. Brass bands, flags, banners, parades and monster demonstrations are no different in principle from ecclesiastical processions, cannonades and fireworks to scare off demons. Only, the suggestive parade of state power engenders a collective feeling of security, which unlike religious demonstrations, gives the individual no protection against his inner demonism. Hence he will cling all the more to the power of the state, i.e., to the mass, thus delivering himself up to it psychically as well as morally and putting the finishing touch to his social depotentiation. The state, like the church, demands enthusiasm, self-sacrifice and love, and if religion requires or presupposes the “fear of God,” then the dictator state takes good care to provide the necessary terror.

As I have already pointed out, the dictator state, besides robbing the individual of his rights, has also cut the ground from under his feet psychically by depriving him of the metaphysical foundations of his existence. The ethical decision of the human being no longer counts- what alone matters is the blind movement of the masses, and the lie has thus become the operative principle of political action. The state has drawn the logical conclusions from this, as the existence of many millions of state slaves completely deprived of all rights mutely testifies.

—  Carl Jung
say something | mikhail & firuz; ft: nahla

Mikhail inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of woods and fresh air, something he wasn’t used to living in New York. He was anxious about the road trip at first, and he was still sort of hesitant, but he was actually having a lot of fun. There was something special about seeing the country with his soulmate and best friends. Yawning, Mikhail stretched his legs out and held his arms in front of him, examining the slight tan he gained from sitting out by the lake. Everyone else was eating or sleeping, except Nahla, who was sitting beside him. He was worried about Firuz, considering he was sort of tense during the drive there. “You think Frizz is alright?” He asked her quietly, peering over at her. “He seemed sort of upset in the car. 


I had a BLAST at Anime North this year.

Met some great people. The Pearl was absolutely adorable as fuck, especially while we were making googlie eyes. The Steven serenaded me and my friends (after learning how to play in only a few weeks!) and the Sapphire and Ruby were super cute!

The Greg (the only one as far as we could tell) actually lives up the road from my current location! Go figure! She was a total sweetheart. Can’t wait to meet up with her again.

Best Con ever.

(If you are any of these people, let me know so I can tag!)

Just saw a fucking moose!! OMG

Earlier we also saw 2 turkeys cross the road and fly across the river, which was pretty cool, and then a really injured/sick fox (looked like either one or two paws were injured and possibly also sick) who came right next to the car and looked in, before trotting off, trying to find a place to lay down, which was really sad because I think we was really weak and probably can’t hunt and I wanted to save him :(




Except there were so many dumb asses outside the car when it was RIGHT THERE. It finally moved back a bit and seemed docile but still. We didn’t get out of the car until we finally did for like 2 seconds once it moved back but there were people putting their kids right there, practically in her face. Ummmmm….. She could easily charge you, you freaking stupid people.


anonymous asked:

For the first time I watched On The Road mainly bc I live in Narnia and independent movies are seldom distributed here. Anw. It was amazing, she was amazing in her role and it's so unfair that it didn't get at least a nomination. It was underrated.. It's like watching art in film. Thought I'd share. Good day.

So glad that you had an opportunity to see the movie finally!

Kristen was truly amazing. And though I think she was completely deserving of an award for that film. After last years Oscar season I understand the game more and it is to a HUGE degree a game.

Not to say that every nominee isn’t deserving it’s just that for every nominee there’s another 10-15 worthy performances that are overlooked just like Kristen in On the Road. But from my memory it’s pretty obvious that the distributer didn’t really pursue a nomination for her let alone a win.

When it comes to the oscars its not just about having an award worthy performance…if it was Kristen and Rob would both have a statue at this point. It’s about pursuing the nomination and the pursuit is in the hands of the distributer. If they don’t campaign on behalf of the movie…actors…etc the performance has to stand alone but with so many great performances by many many actors these stand alone performances get shut out by the in your face campaigns.

Some years, thank god, they get it right. Like they did last year with Still Alice and the plethora of awards that Julianne won…deservedly so.

Kristen’s time is fast approaching she just need the right project at the right time with the right distributer! I’m having for at minimum of a best supporting actress nod this year for Clouds of Sils Maria…but alas that’s up to IFC not the fans.

But there may be other opportunities especially if Equals comes out before the end of the year…but again the distributer is key!