A Gay former Protestant Tells His Story, A Catholic Commentary in Bold Font

Before I continue, here’s a brief background on me. I grew up southern baptist,[PROTESTANT] attending church every Sunday and Wednesday from the ages of 6-22. During that time, I also completed 3 years of ministry school. Okay. I grew up as Protestant too, before I converted to Catholicism.

Another thing that you need to know about me is that I’m gay. I’m real gay. I have been gay for as long as I can remember, even before I had the vocabulary to let me express what it was that I was feeling. Okay, we are born with original sin. We are born with inclinations to do what is not right, so homosexuality falls into that category.

For a large part of my life I was also depressed and suicidal

(That is horrible, so was I, suicidal behavior is caused by deep suffering and longing for Love of God and the Love of others, like your Mother and Father and Siblings and Friends (I wonder how your relationships were with them or if you were sexually abused—that causes a lot of sexual confusion and suicidal ideation. I am sorry, I love you brother!) 

because I was taught throughout my entire life that everything that I was  and everything that I was experiencing was evil and that I would burn in hell for eternity because of the way I inherently was

See you were taught Protestant Theology. Protestants do not separate the sin from the sinner. They think they are one and the same. They are not. You are not a homosexual by identity. You are a man, first, and dearly Loved by Jesus. Your sins are not who you are. Your sins and struggles are not who you are. They are outside you and within you, a war in your very core. “It is who I felt like within” you say. But it was a deep part of why you were miserable. And you think happiness will be in homosexuality…but it’s shallow. You feel guilty, stressed out, depressed, and hated because there is a war within.  You are (a man and a child of God) and someone who you are not meant to be (a sinner and a man who wants to have sex with men). Those are in conflict since your youth. You knew it did not feel exactly right. It brought some satisfaction but then it also didn’t, because it goes against nature, procreation, the family, and life itself. You didn’t feel good about it NOT because of religion [Protestantism], but the natural law was against you.

I went to ministry school in an effort to “change” and “be healed of my homosexuality”. The only way that I was given an out is if I were to commit myself to celibacy, and being single for my entire life as the only acceptable alternative, and let me tell you that I am not called in any way to be a priest or a monk, and your own holy book states, “it is not good for man to be alone”.

Don’t twist scripture. It is not good for a man to be alone, but his only partner that is fit for him is a woman. She is his other half. They fit naturally together. They create life and a family. If God made in the garden of Eden (which is a simple logical creation story, with deep spiritual significance)…. SO IF GOD MADE  two men in the garden….we all know how that would have turned out. They both would have died of old age…nothing would be made. The world cannot exist in the natural order on the backs of homosexuals.

Since ministry school wasn’t “erasing the gay”, and I was living in Kansas City, MO at the time, I decided over the weekend that I would go to a local gay conversion ministry, Exodus International, on Monday morning to talk about beginning their program. Monday morning rolled around & I checked my email. Guess what was there?
An email announcing the closure of Exodus International because they felt that sexuality could not be changed.
This wrecked my world - for a time.
I picked myself up by my bootstraps and decided to move on with life, quitting ministry school, and beginning to pursue what I really wanted out of my career and life.

That is your story.

Since I have left the church, I am much healthier mentally, and physically. I also live with less guilt, condemnation, and depression than I did when I was in the church. I am, however, still living with the mental, emotional, and spiritual damage that was done during that time.

You did not learn about the real Love of Jesus for you. Even as a homosexual God cares for you. He still loves you. He still wants you to leave it all and make a sacrifice of your life, and all you are, and live the Gospel. 

He still wants you to care for others, your family, your friends, stay away from sin, feed the poor, sit with the lonely, listen to people…be good. I am sad that you missed your opportunity to be saved of the homosexual lifestyle and show others how to live not for yourself and what you want, but what Jesus wants from you.

He wants you to do more things than give up a boyfriend. Jesus, who is God, wants to talk to you, be your friend, do good in His name, do works of charity in His name….have you neglected to do even that much for Jesus?

Yes giving up living with men, kissing men, doing all kinds of things with men is the right thing to do, but have you given up doing other kinds of evil? Do you still curse people, do you steal? Think hateful thoughts? Do you encourage others to do wrong things? Do you drink or use drugs too much? Do you spend too much money on yourself and not think about others? Do you prevent yourself and others from getting diseases? think you are better than religious people for being gay? Think you are better than me, a fellow Christian? Do you give your time to others generously?

If you can’t sacrifice your sexuality, because you need to be gay. That is something so vital in your life. That community is so important to you. That lifestyle is so fulfilling. Than what else can you do for Jesus?

On the last day Jesus will ask you….What did you do for others? How did you Love God? How did you love me? Why did you stop knowing Me? Why didn’t you do this or that? Why did you cause this pain on others? Why were you mean to my children? Why did you fight against Me, I was always waiting for you, and you never came back?

It’s been quiet around here lately; sorry about that. Lots of life drama + commissions eating up my time; I felt stagnated with my personal work so I started some new skethes. So here is an early progess shot of the painting I’m turning my attention to…

I’ll be at Spectrum fantastic art Live this weekend in Kansas city, MO! I’m not showing, just hanging out. But if any of y'all will bne there too, do say hello if you see me!

See more of my process on Patreon.

anonymous asked:

Why dont you kms already, you already know everything you do is stupid and bullshit and you've tried at least twice. Fucking coward.

Oh look its your ip wouldn’t it be cute if i used it on google maps? I didn’t know you lived in Kansas City. Wouldnt it be horrible if i somehow got a hold of your entire address? 

Scramblers are everywhere these days. But how many folks actually NEED a do-it-all bike?
This Yamaha XS650 is a ‘city scrambler’ in the most literal sense, and serves a dual purpose. Its owner lives in Kansas City, and wanted a new ride for messing around on the dirt and in abandoned parking lots.
So he sourced an ex-flat track XS650, and shipped it off to Kevin McAllister of @distortdimagery in Austin, Texas. The donor bike was busted, but Kevin has worked pure magic.
Hit the link in our bio to see how he did it… #yamaha #xs650 #scrambler #xt500 #motorcycle #braap #austintexas @yamahamotorusa @yamaha_yard_built #bikeexif

Texan Keith is great guys… but hear me out… Kansan Pidge

•       like it kinda makes sense because kansas is mostly empty and lots of nature but it’s not cool nature like the planet they landed on it’s mostly flatland and farm and fields, so no wonder pidge hates the outdoors but is still the guardian of nature

•       she clearly doesn’t have an accent (most midwesterners dont) but she still says things like “crick” instead of “creek” “ki-yotes” instead of “ki-yo-tees”

the only voltron discourse allowed now is if pidge says “soda” or “pop”

•                her mom says “warsch” instead of “wash”

•       ironically says “y’all”

•       her parents probably put her in tons of sports as a kid to see if anything would stick before she just said “you guys, I’m not into the Sports”

•       if your not into sports in kansas then you’re probably an Art™ Kid so then her parents put in her acting camps and art stuff until she said “dad, you literally get to go into space as your job i like science stop this”

•                does still really appreciate art and went to the 3 art museums we have on the weekends

•       not into football because she has seen friendships ruined by KU vs K-State

•       does make “not in kansas anymore” jokes

•       does actually like sunflowers and sunflower seeds

•       (has flipped off the WBC/Phelps more times than you can count)

•       learned how to drive by driving around the farm her mother grew up on

•                yes her mom grew up in the middle of nowhere kansas so she went there a lot to visit her grandparents and drove for the first time there


•       Coran: the planet that we’re about to pass has almost 50 tornados going on at once

•       Pidge: *deadass flies out in her lion to look at them*

•       Coran: the planet we’re about to land on is mostly ice, so the castle might get cool

•       Pidge: im taking the food goo and all our water rations i’ll see you on the other side

•       Coran: this planet has below freezing temperatures one minute and blazing hot glass storms the next!

•       Pidge: lol who turned kansas into a planet?

•       there’s literally nothing to do in kansas if you don’t live in Lawerence, Wichita or Kansas City so Pidge’s best memories are probably riding in a car with her friends, stargazing with her dad, dicking around the mall or a park

•                Lance: what do you miss about earth? i mean, besides your family?

•                Pidge: Powerplay* and Lawrence. That’s it. That’s all i miss

•                she probably misses thunder storms tho

•       Hunk: Aren’t those guys from Supernatural from Kansas?

•       Pidge: Amelia Earhart didn’t die for this

*powerplay is this really big arcade in Kansas City but it also has great food and lazer tag and lots of cool stuff.

 some of these are also just general headcanons that might apply to other places in the US, but these are just things i thought of since I’ve grown up in Kansas.

anonymous asked:

There's… there's something wrong with my sister. I don't really know who you are but some guy in flannel that I met at a truck stop told me to contact you. My sister- she's different. She's more violent. She likes it when others get hurt… and I swear I saw her eyes go black. I-I don't know what to do. I lost my mom and dad when I was 10 and I can't lose her too. Please help. I live in Kansas City.

What guy in flannel? That’ll help believe me.

And gimme a state. Believe it or not, there’s more than one Kansas City

Go to the nearest church and ask for holy water. Fill a couple of water guns with it in case she tries to pull a fast one before we can get to you.


BLISTERING early live version of Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac

Live Kansas City 1977, Rumours Tour.


Shame there aren’t any other good quality live recordings of this masterpiece (apart from Milhaukee 1976).

The version off 'The Dance’ has NOTHING on this INFERNO of bitterness, anger, devastation and brutality.


4:30: Lindsey MASSACRES the crowd with his wailing, yet heavenly guitar solo. Mick SLAMS HARD on the drums. Christine CONVULSES on the Hammond organ. John just manages to keep up.

4:44:- give me just a chance, give me just a CHAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCE!!!!!!!!!’ So much agony in those notes.

I get emotionally exhausted every time I hear this ending.

Bravo Stevie. Her best Fleetwood Mac song HANDS DOWN.

Imagine if this performance were recreated in an autobiographical movie of the band. Chiffonheads would faint in the cinema.

OC submission (from a non-ace)

My ace character is Spencer. She’s biracial (half-white & half-Chinese) and she lives in Kansas City, where she works as a waitress and performs with a local band. Her biggest goal right now is to pay off her student loans (she dropped out of college during junior year & feels kind of bad about it). Her best friend, Emma, has watched over her for years & is the only person at the beginning of the story who knows that Spencer is ace. Spencer has dated two men & one woman, even briefly getting engaged to a Baptist man before realizing how empty the relationship felt to her. When Emma gets engaged, her fiance’s best friend shows up & develops a crush on Spencer. 

I love writing Spencer because she tries to be fair to people and believes in having integrity. She lets her fear of loneliness get the better of her sometimes, but at the same time she’s grounded and practical. Her eventual love interest is her opposite in many ways, so it’s super fun to write their scenes. Aspects of Spencer’s life are based on my experiences with growing up in Kansas City and having a popular, busy best friend. When I first started writing her story, Spencer was a non-ace - but as I re-read my writing, I got to know her better and realized how well the term fit.


Live at Max’s , Kansas City , NY,1976