Going back back to cali cali 

Street Etiquette in LA

lacoste Pool Party – A brief recap of our trip to California working on a project with the good folks over at Lacoste, which resulted in a much needed pool party. After such a crazy winter here in New York City to touch down in California was too good to pass up. 

Check out some more images from trip here from us and other contributors

“Tomorrow will be better. I will do better. I will be better.”

I’m beginning to look at others, much thinner than I, and find that sadness consumes me more than jealousy. I’ve been there. I’ve known the hell one goes through to fit into an undersized body. Sometimes I miss that body, but I do not miss the emptiness I felt within it.

The jealousy does come, though. Usually late at night when I should be readying myself for bed. But instead, I find myself running back through the day, feeling poorly about food choices and the workout that didn’t happen. I decide, on these fairly occasional jealous-nights, that tomorrow will be better. “I will do better. I will be better.”
And then tomorrow comes.

 The sun pours through my window. It welcomes me in the morning. “Yes, today WILL be better.” I begin contemplating whether or not to have breakfast. A fasted run or bike ride; a late breakfast so I can skip lunch.

I take a peek out the window, just to check the weather.
And I see the girl with sadness in her eyes, running to earn her food.
And I see the man, lacing up his shoes in order to do the same.

I am reminded of why that is not the way I want to live my life. Completely based on numbers: calories, pounds, tablespoons, mileage…yet almost entirely worthless. 

I am reminded that I should count blessings, memories, and smiles rather than calories.

I am reminded that feeding myself well and moving my body with a healthy purpose is a privilege. And it is one that will get me much further in life than the obsession of how my body looks at all times. It is one that will allow me true happiness–not the sick happiness from the drop in number on the scale that fades two minutes later.

These reminders come day after day. And they are needed every time. Yet, I feel that one day they won’t be necessary for me to carry on. I will find peace in myself, and peace with others. I will look at others and see them as a person, not just a body for comparison. 

So, today I woke up to the morning sun welcoming me. I decided today would be better. I will be better.
I take a moment to be mindful about how I am feeling. Physically and mentally. Are my intentions right or wrong.

Fighting the tears, I make breakfast. Fighting the urges, I relax until lunch.
What I feel is weakness, I know is strength.
What I feel is self-destruction, I know is self-care.

And I notice that the world didn’t crumble around me when I ate my lunch, too.
People didn’t hate me because I am a bit heavier than I was a year ago.
I don’t constantly search for my smile that was lost when I lost weight.

And that is enough to make me realize that today is better. I am better. Because today I’ve decided to seek a beautiful life instead of a misconstrued-beautiful body. I’ve decided to treat myself kindly so that tomorrow I can treat others kindly too. 

My life is no longer empty. My days are filled with friends, food, flowers, and life. 

I am no longer empty. I am filling my mind with happiness and hope. I am filling my heart with love and faith. I am filling my body with nourishment to live-not survive. 

I find myself, still, jealous over these bodies that are not mine. Envious of their determination and ability.
But, more often, I find myself jealous of those that lived when I was dying. I’m jealous that they made memories while I spent my nights alone at the gym.

I am choosing to live my life. I am choosing to try and find happiness in things outside of my body weight, size, and shape. I want to live a full, beautiful life. 

Tomorrow will be beautiful. I will live beautifully.

—  Bethany D. 

“Feeling some major Bonnaroo blues this week! Wishing I was eating food truck grilled cheese on The Farm” - @stefaneejill on Instagram

Pluto Sorcery
  • Pluto in the 1st House:"I am a divine butterfly, cocooned by the darkness of Pluto but thrust into eternal light by his own power.Tthe discarded shells of my old selves are hung like portraits where i can view how far i have come"
  • Pluto in the 2nd House:"I can live in ecstasy and beautifully stripped of material concern. I can release from these vices and understand what freedom truly means. I can create the most stunning melody with the jewels within"
  • Pluto in the 3rd House:"The ether of my voice and words will live on for centuries. My thoughts are transmitted from the mystic riches of Pluto and I am a scribe of the underworld. I am a beacon of truth and a glowing example of the power of words"
  • Pluto in the 4th House:"I am the eternal heirloom of my family and my ancestry will remember me, from my spirit that runs through their veins, and the potions I left brewing in their hearts. I can create a temple of prayer"
  • Pluto in the 5th House:"I can fall into the darkness and forge a new wonderland with my divine creativity. My inner child is at home in the cosmos, and my madness can be poured into art, delight, and pleasures. I can play a symphony for infinity"
  • Pluto in the 6th House:"Through my own aching bones and psychological ailment, I can see, I can feel, and I can heal. My hands are leaking with healing syrup, and my muscle memory knows the century old potions and therapies found in nature"
  • Pluto in the 7th House:"I am transformative spirit for the people in my life, I can swirl in their bones and show them the transcendent light that dwells within. I can show them the way to reunite with infinity through my own magic. I change the lives of others"
  • Pluto in the 8th House:"I rule the borderline between life and dying, and suffer ego death time and time again so when it comes time for my spirit to pass on I have become a master of the process and this gives me peace. Every time I rebuild i am shown an even brighter light"
  • Pluto in the 9th House:"I am a pilgrim of Pluto and explore the depths of my inner world and the outer world. I am a symbol of the mythology and philosophies that have defined us for generations. I am in search of divine intimacy and my words reverberate into the souls of others with TRUTH"
  • Pluto in the 10th House:"I leave a powerfully resonant imprint on the world and my energy remains long after my body vanishes. My role in society is vital, and my spirit alone can change the lives of others. I thrive on challenges"
  • Pluto in the 11th House:"I readily see into the souls of the people around me and I am a revolutionary breath in a mundane world. I am the spirit that heals humanity"
  • Pluto in the 12th House:"Through Pluto is how i get home. I feel a part of the oxygen, as if i circulate through everyone. My breath is a symbol of purity and healing, and my presence is a reunion with the divine. through isolation, I reunite"