Not my gif. Gif credit goes to the amazing creators!
Anonymous said:Hi, could you do an imagine where Emmet wants a pet but he gets upset because he knows he’ll outlive it so you get him a tortoise because those things live till their like 1,000(I’m studying to be a vet &I my teacher has one(if you can somehow reference this I’ll sell my soul to you)). If you don’t want to that’s fine, I just thought it’d be funny and really cute.
A/N: Heya lovely! Of course! I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope that you enjoy what I’ve come up with! I really found this request cute, and I enjoyed writing it! Omg, that’s so cool that you’re studying to be a vet!!! Thanks so much for your request! - Admin Kat 💟
Melancholy wasn’t ever Emmett’s style. No it was not. He’d had the prospect lately of wanting to add a member to the family; certain that no one would injure or harm it. However, finding the perfect pet seemed brutally difficult: Nothing really would outlive him, and there was no possible way for him to prolong his life. One bite from a vampire and the venom would encase it’s veins, making it no more.
You were certain that he would have sensed it’s presence, the little scuffling in the box, it’s miniature heartbeat. It was a wonder that you’d managed to get a hold of it; with much thanks to Edward!
“Emmett!” you called his name and quite languidly, slowly, he managed to settle himself to his feet and wander over to you. The sadness hitting him hard. But not for much longer.
“What is it, babe? The games on.” he beckoned to the glowing television that flashed all sorts of colors, showing the game that he had been eager to see. It was the only thing cheering him up.
“How is it? Alice’s visions proving a winning streak?” you raised your brows, settling the little box down on the counter. His golden orbs followed it, seeing a dark hump in the middle of the hole punched box.
“Nah, we’re getting our asses kicked.” he smirked, fingers unhooking the side of the lid, prying it off.
A little tortoise stared up at him, black orbs blinking. “What’s this?” his wolfish grin spread across his countenance as he picked up the little fellow, - surprisingly tenderly at that -.
“Well, you know how you wanted a pet?” you murmured pretty sheepishly.
“Yeah. You got me a tur-”
“It’s a tortoise!” your brows scrunched together, only causing him to laugh all the more heartily. “They live for around one thousand years, so I figured that it’d be your best option for an edition to the family.” you smiled at his bright, bright orbs that twinkled at the tiny animal.
“Awesome! I’m gonna name it…” and off he went to watch the game with the little tortoise in his bulky bulbous fare hand. The amounts of options of names that floated around the house… well, let’s just say it took almost a lifetime to come up with one for the little ectothermic critter.
Emmett was eternally grateful to you.
Please keep requesting imagines! If you like it, please follow for more.
So I have this idea that ever since Harmony was born Windy Belle tells her stories whenever she gets the chance. Most of the stories are invented in the moment and tend to not make much sense, but that doesn’t stop her from entertaining her little sister, especially if she’s enjoying it! :D And of course Angel and Tank like to assist with the performance every now and then.
Why hello there fine stranger! Having been tagged by @dotson12340 I am now spending my Friday night in the most fantastic way possible…writing alone in a dark room on my laptop. So, here is more than one could ever want to know about me!
Rules: Must answer the questions below and tag 20 of your very own followers to answer them themselves.
Nicknames: I mean I have a few, depending on who it is! My friends and history teacher call me Amberino, which kinda sounds like some samba dance to me but since I need an A in history I let it slide. My boyfriend calls me “smol bean” mostly because I am 5 foot 4…but I don’t even like beans. I’ll have to ask him why I’m a bean. My grandparents call me Amber-lance because of their boundless humour and my boundless clumsiness, while my best friend calls me Amberlicious…like the pizza. It’s complicated.
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio …November baby!
Height: I think I answered this before, 5 foot 4, though I’m 5′5 on a good day!
Orientation: I’ll let you know when I know myself…
Ethnicity: White British, though to be honest it doesn’t even do justice to how pasty I am. In my Year 11 leavers’ photo I look like an extraterrestrial snowman.
Favourite Fruit: Banana, or as I call it, the *trusty* banana. Not even a euphemism, I just love a good banana…. *wink*
Favourite Season: Spring or Autumn; I like being able to wear comfy hoodies without freezing, however in the summer I burn like a crisp. (Last summer I went to the beach and I thought I had baptised my body in enough sun cream to be spared from Satan’s rays, but nope! I forgot to plunge the back of my knees in that white goo, which ultimately resulted in me walking like a cripple for the next week.)
Favourite Book: Oh boy, I remember when I had time to read books, back before Year 13. And well, given that I haven’t read since the sands of time decided it was impossible to enjoy life without plunging into impending doom and missing my university offer I am going to tell you the next book I want to read. That book is Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts.
Favourite Flower: Gosh I don’t know my flowers…pretty ones!
Favourite Scent: Gingerbread and clean sheets, just perhaps not together…
Favourite Animal: Anything smol…little piggies, little doggos, lil’ tortoises
Coffee, Tea or Hot Cocoa: Hot Chocolate every time, unless I have an exam to cram for and then coffee is my last hope.
Cat or Dog Person: A cat person, I’ve spent the last year plotting a scheme to make my boyfriend’s cats like me, though they are very high maintenance felines and Socks still runs away from me, despite my best efforts to appease him.
Favourite Fictional Character: Having not read any books recently I really don’t feel educated on this topic. Therefore I am going to wimp out and say that since I am on Season 2 of Game of Thrones (I am behind the times) Ayra is my favourite character!
Dream Trip: Travelling through Europe. Although one day I would also love to visit Canana. My history teacher is from Canana and she is ever so lovely!
Blog Created: I am guessing, but I want to say late January or February 2016.
Number of Followers: As of today, 35,817 wonderful people follow my blog.
What Do I Post About: I really think the dynamic of my blog has changed over the last year or so that I’ve been posting. At the beginning, I used it as a method of dealing with the anxiety and depression I was facing at the time. This largely anonymous blog was a method of releasing negative emotions and thoughts that I didn’t feel I could continue to burden my friends with. However last summer I met my now boyfriend, and he was a huge help in coaxing me out of a dark time. At the end of the summer when he went back to university, this blog became my venting space for the challenges of a Long Distance Relationship. Nevertheless, sometimes I just post completely random poetry on here, things that I’ve written and would like to share as well as the weird and wonderful thoughts that simply pass through my mind.
Do I Get Asks on a Regular Basis: I would say yes, and I try to respond to as many as I can. I certainly read all of them. At the moment I’m not taking submissions as I am trying very hard to build up my own presence as a writer first. Though saying that, it is one thing I would really like to do.
Aesthetic: I’ll be honest, I have no idea. If you’ve made it this far (god bless you if you have) why not drop me a comment or send me a message telling me which aesthetic you think my blog is!
Favourite Band or Artist: Look, I’m not here to lie to you, I’m a huge Swiftie. I also love Ed Sheeran, All Time Low, Panic! At The Disco, Simple Plan, Coldplay, Lewis Watson, Twenty One Pilots, Woodkid, Anarbor, Melanie Martinez, Arctic Monkeys, The Neighbourhood, The 1975, The Fray…I’m going to stop now, I have no doubt you get the picture.
Fictional Characters I’d Date: Another fictional character question I cannot answer, one day I must return to these.
Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw!
I really hope you feel you’ve learnt something new about me. Feel free to ask any questions! :)
And now for the task of selecting twenty followers to continue this insightful and yet hopelessly time consuming trend:
I was just moving the little tortoises outside. They’re too small to share the yard with Pedro, so they have an enclosure of their own that we move around to give them fresh grass every couple of days. And because it’s stupid-hot (and hasn’t even broken 100º yet), I draped a sheet over half of the enclosure to give them shade, because it turns out they don’t eat in the direct sunlight. Who can blame them?
When I came inside, I was totally sun-blind. And it was smelly from Rigby and / or Rio rolling in something. I took off my flip-flops and went to wash my hands and managed to kick-and-trip-over something I couldn’t see.
Pedro. It was Pedro. He, in all of his 55-pound trundling glory, somehow snuck into the house while I wasn’t looking and was parked right at the entrance to the kitchen. He was also what I was smelling. Holy shit.
He scared the hell out of me, and I did the same for him. I heard him hiss as he pulled into his shell and pushed the air out of his lungs to make room for his limbs. Upon closer inspection of my foot, it turns out that I trip-kicked him hard enough to cut open my toe. Sorry, Pedro!
I told him that he was welcome to come hang out inside today, but omg he’d need a bath first. I can’t pick him up these days, and when he reeks I’m not particularly willing to try, so I scooted him across the floor with my foot. Which is actually like scooting a 55-pound rock that’s pushing against you because it doesn’t want to go back outside. But I got him there, and went to get the water going, and Rigby was jumping all around me because she loves to chase the hose spray, and Rio was barking at Rigby because that’s what she does and nobody is allowed to have any fun because Rio says so, and I look over and Pedro’s halfway through the door again.
I scooted him to the edge of the patio and flipped him onto his back on the grass. First of all, that was not easy; these jerks are all muscle and shell and remember that whole “rock that pushes back” thing? Yeah. Second of all, washing him on his back is the only way to clean off his plastron and anything gross stuck in the back of his shell. Also, so he doesn’t walk away.
While spraying him down, Rigby kept bouncing around, chasing after the spray, happy as could be and definitely getting in the way. Rio barked from inside the house. Cosmo pouted within watching-but-not-getting-wet distance because wow, does he hate the water. Unless it’s a giant puddle, and then he’ll stand in it and roll around, because why not?
After we were finished, I rolled Pedro back onto his belly and left the door open when I came back inside. It took him a few minutes, but he lumbered in and is now restless in the kitchen.
And holy shit, guys, he smells even worse now. He needs to go back outside, pronto, and tomorrow he needs a bath with soap and a scrub brush. He smells like a wet circus and it’s awful.
Hello! I was wondering if you could do a retelling of the birth of Hermes and the fight he gets into with Apollo for stealing his cattle?
OK, so I put this up to a public vote and this myth was by far the most popular choice, so here we go. If people don’t want to read a myth about a mouthy child prodigy stealing his half-brother’s cows, then press J on your keyboard now as this is going to be a long post. More info under the Read More, as always!
The story starts, as all good stories should, with a woman
giving birth in a cave. The woman in this instance is Maia, who is giving birth
to Zeus’ baby, because approximately 70% of all babies in Greek mythology
belong to Zeus. Once she’s popped the baby out, she’s like “well, it’s time for
a nap. Hermes, watch over yourself” and then she’s out like a light and Hermes
is left to stare at the walls or something.
After a few hours, Hermes gets really bored with living the
baby lifestyle, and so he decides to absolutely subvert the infant hegemony by
immediately learning how to walk. Like the freakish genius baby that he is, he
escapes from his swaddling and toddles all the way down to Pieria, where he
finds a whole field of cows. Immediately, he’s just like “sweet, I’ve always
wanted a whole field of cows” and starts stealing them. Being a complete
genius, he realises that he has to cover his tracks, so he finds a whole load
of cow-sized boots that are presumably just lying all about the place in
Ancient Greece, and he puts these boots on the cows and leads them away to a
little town called Pylos. As soon as Hermes has left, Apollo saunters into the field where he keeps his favourite cows, and when he notices that they’re gone, he drops to his knees dramatically and cries “I will have my vengeance, in this life or… well, the same life, thank goodness for immortality!” and he sweeps away in a haze of sunlight and glory.
Once he’s at Pylos, Hermes hides all the cows in the grotto,
when his little tummy starts rumbling. Apparently forgetting the fact that he’s
a newborn baby and absolutely should not be on solid foods at this point, he
decides to slaughter two of the cows as a sacrifice, and then he cooks up the
leftover meet with a little sage and probably some mixed herbs and a lovely red
wine roux. While he’s waiting for the meat to cook, he finds an adorable little
tortoise wandering around outside the cave, and immediately he’s like “awesome,
time to continue my sociopathic spree of animal slaughter” and he kills the
tortoise and cleans out the shell, stretching some of the cow hide and tendons
across it, and bam, he’s invented the lyre. After playing a few prodigal
ballads on his rad new instrument, he decides that he’s tired and it’s
absolutely time for a little nap and maybe a burp or two, and so he waddles
back home to Kyllene, where Maia, who is definitely not up for the mother of
the year award, doesn’t even realise that he’s been missing and is covered in cow entrails.
Meanwhile, Apollo is doing some absolutely stellar detective
work, probably whilst wearing his special detective hat, the one with the blue
ribbon around the brim which brings out the cornflower hue of his eyes, because
no-one steals Apollo’s cows and gets away with it. Seething with rage, he goes
into the heart of the town of Pylos, and to the first woman he sees, he’s like “look,
this is probably a really strange question, but have you by any chance seen a
shitload of cows?” and the woman nods, briefly dumbstruck by Apollo’s jawline,
and she says “this is probably a really strange answer, but I’m pretty sure I
saw a baby leading a really well-organised line of cattle wearing shoes right
through the heart of our fine town” and Apollo blinks and he’s like “shoes” and
the woman says “yes, without socks” and Apollo says “a baby” and the woman nods and
says “a human baby” and Apollo frowns and says “are you sure it was a baby
and not just a tiny bald man?” and the woman shakes her head and says “it was
definitely a baby, I don’t usually get confused between my infant son and my
withered grandfather” and Apollo just sighs and says “well, that’s really
thrown me for a loop, I have absolutely no idea who this nefarious baby could
possibly be” and the woman is like “judging by your cheekbones, I would say
that you’re probably a god, so why don’t you just use your whole divine science
mojo and get it over and done with?” and then Apollo blinks, briefly denying
the woman a glimpse of his azure gaze, and he’s like “that is the best idea I’ve
ever heard from a woman, I will do just that”
and so, Apollo taps into his super special psychic abilities,
and immediately he’s like “that goddamn little shit, I should’ve known it would
be a devious child of Zeus that did this, honestly all of Zeus’ kids are just
so terrible and badly behaved, he’s like a walking advertisement for vasectomies” and the
woman is like “but aren’t you a child of Zeus?” and Apollo just pushes her to
one side and he’s all “quiet, woman, I have a baby to physically overpower” and
then he’s off to Kyllene to fuck an infant up.
At Kyllene, Hermes is sitting in his crib, being really
adorable and cherubic and basically the epitome of everything a non-criminal
baby should be, when Apollo bursts in, stark and handsome against the bright
light outside the cave, and he’s like “arrest that baby! I have reason to
believe he has partaken in a bovine conspiracy” and Maia is like “you are aware
that he is literally three hours old?” and Apollo nods sagely and says “it’s a bitter pill to swallow but the
worst kind of criminals start young, now hand that baby over and no-one gets
hurt, except probably that baby” and then Hermes opens his little rosebud mouth
and says “you’ve got the wrong man, Apollo, this is madness” and he smirks
wryly and Maia’s mouth just falls open and she whispers “I’m getting Mensa on
the phone right now” but Apollo ignores her and hisses “you won’t get away with
this, Hermes, your one man crime spree is over” and Hermes just snorts and he’s
like “dude, I’m a baby, you won’t convince a jury” and Apollo narrows his eyes
and says “we’ll see about that, sunshine” and then Hermes just says “no, you’re sunshine” and then Apollo leaves
to go and do the mature thing, which is to call their dad.
When Zeus arrives, Apollo is like “you have to do something,
my incredibly recent half-brother has stolen all my favourite cows” and Zeus
sighs and he’s all “can’t your mother fix it?” and Apollo is like “his mother
isn’t the same as mine, dad, jeeze, I just said he was my half-brother” and
Zeus blinks and he’s like “oh yes, of course, you’re my son. Haha, I totally
knew that, son. Let’s go and sort this out, son” and Apollo is like “please
stop calling me ‘son’, it’s weird” and Zeus is like “I agree, we will never
speak of this again” and they go into the cave.
Immediately, Hermes just throws his little pudgy hands in
the air and says “whatever Apollo says I did, I didn’t do it” and Zeus narrows
his eyes and says “you’re both more verbose and defensive than the average
baby, aren’t you?” and Hermes is like “what can I say, I got some traits from
my dad” and then they make finger guns at each other and Apollo just starts
banging his head against the cave wall and says really wearily “my cows, dad”
and then Zeus clears his throat and tries to arrange his face into a serious
expression and says “son, what’s all this about Apollo’s cows?” and Hermes is
like “I didn’t steal them from under his nose and sacrifice some of them and
turn one of them into a lyre and plectrum” and Apollo just shouts “I can’t
believe what I’m hearing!” and Hermes scoffs and says “then fix your hearing, I
just said I didn’t do it” and Zeus is like “you totally did it, didn’t you” and
Hermes has the grace to look a bit bashful as well as proud and says “yeah, I
may have very slightly done it” and Zeus beams and turns to Apollo and he’s
like “are you kidding me? This absolutely fantastic baby of mine managed to
steal your cows and invented an entire musical instrument! This is better than
the time I stole a human male with the promise of cups” and Apollo just
whimpers and Zeus sighs and he’s like “right, Hermes, let’s stop your brother’s
bitching once and for all. Show me where you hid these cows” and Hermes whines “but
daaaaad” and Zeus is like “no buts, I am putting my foot down and temporarily
assuming the role of a father figure” and Apollo is like “you are literally our
father” and Zeus says “for the next few hours, yes” and before Apollo can make
a pithy rebuttal about parental responsibilities, Hermes is leading them to
As soon as they get to Pylos, Apollo just runs over to his
cows and starts hugging them, murmuring things like “don’t worry, papa’s here,
no-one’s going to hurt you now” and Zeus looks at Hermes and says “he’s getting
a bit Pasiphaë over this, isn’t he?” and Hermes is like “yeah, I’m starting to
worry that he’s going to try and get revenge on me somehow” and Zeus takes him
to one side and says “between you and me, son, I think you should apologise”
and Hermes is like “I literally cannot do that, it goes against all my ethics
as a spoilt brat, but I guess I could give him that sweet lyre I made from the
flesh of his pets” and Zeus is like “that’s an excellent idea, son, we’ll make
a diplomat of you yet”. So, Hermes goes over to Apollo and gives him the lyre,
and says “no hard feelings, bro?” and Apollo just blinks and asks “what is
that?” and Hermes is like “well, I tore the skin off your favourite cow and
made it into this really beautiful instrument” and Apollo is about to start
screaming when Hermes just holds up his hands and says “we can get into the
ethics of that later, but first, here’s Wonderwall” and he starts playing a
really haunting melody on this fantastic instrument, and when he’s finished,
Apollo just blinks and says “I want it” and Hermes is like “if you promise to
put this whole silly thing behind us, then it’s a deal” and Apollo is like “put
what whole silly thing behind us?” and Hermes is about to clarify when he sees
that Apollo is making a finger gun at him, and Hermes rolls his eyes and makes a
finger gun back, and Apollo says “bro” and Hermes says “bro” and
then Zeus is like “sons” and they all just hug it out in the beautiful scenic
fields of Pylos.
And then, many months later, Zeus promotes Hermes to the
role of his personal herald and messenger, because nothing says ‘employee of
the month’ quite like juvenile petty theft.
My other retellings can be found here; my dedicated mythology blog is here; and my Mythology Mondays Facebook page is here. The latter two links also allow you to follow my progress in writing a whole actual book. Thrilling.
Imagine you’re in Raph’s room playing with Spike, Raph was training so he had no idea you were in there. He would only let you play with Spike, you thought it was a bit weird that he wouldn’t trust his brothers with the little tortoise but you never asked him about it.
You were sprawled out on the floor with Raph’s blanket wrapped around you tightly, Spike was in front of you with his eyes closed as you stroked his shell and his tiny head. He let out a small noise possibly telling you he liked it, your hand was starting to get tired so you stopped as soon as you did, the little tortoise stood up and laid his head against your nose. You giggled.
“Cute.” You heard a familiar voice speak.You turned and found Raph at the door.
“What?” You asked.
“NOTHING! NOTHING!” He yelled angrily and stomped away, though you could’ve sworn you saw a small blush on his face.