There’s a trend on tumblr that is more than rampant, and since it’s been going on for so fucking long i feel the need to speak on it.
Tumblr hates trans men.
“But thehomosexuals!” you might be screaming. “I see positivity posts every 5 minutes on my dash! They’re always saying trans men are valid!” And to that I’d ask you how many of those were about trans men, and how many of those were about feminine trans men.
If you said that more than 90% of those posts are for feminine trans men, then you are definitey using the same website as I and thousands of other trans men are.
Now, feminine trans men are so fucking valid and they deserve all the love and support, but when every single positivity post is about feminine trans men….. that kind of reaks of something more malicious. While it’s true that feminine trans men would face more discrimination for wanting to adhere to traditionally feminine things while also identifying as a male, there’s something more insidious going on.
It’s not an unknown fact that tumblr has ill will toward every sect of men. It’s went beyond the type of “down with cis” joking attitude to actual malicious will. And in my opinion (and others opinions as well, believe me this isn’t the first time i’ve brought this up to anyone), this is bordering on fetishization and erasure.
there are people on this website who are more than happy to praise feminine trans men for their femininity, but the minute a trans man wants to be more “traditionally masculine” theyre seen as disgusting and horrible and adhering to toxic masculinity. there are people on here who believe that feminine trans men are superior and Braver. there are people on here who think masculine trans men deserve fuck all and could basically be the cisgender people of the transgender community. there are people on here who use feminine trans men as a token that they don’t hate men, when really theyre attracted to the “female” aspects of their identity and erase the fact that they are men from their minds.
you heard me right. there are people on here who use the femininity of some trans men to erase the fact that they are still men. there will be post after post saying that men who look like women are wonderful. not valid as men, not manly as hell, they’re wonderful. and thats true, but theyre still men. theyre not your UwU babbies to love and cherish like little newborns. they are not women. they are not for your eyes. they have their own identity.
again, im gonna end this with the fact that feminine trans men are wonderful and valid and theyre still manly as hell even if they adhere to all “traditionally feminine” things. they are still men. they are still valid.
and using feminine trans men as your scapegoat for “not hating men” while simultaneously only harping on the “female” aspects of their identity is transphobic.
The first days are an emotional blur, joyful and exhausting. You cry because you’re your baby’s only food source and she’d starve without you, so helpless and small. You cry because you love her so much. You cry because you haven’t slept more than 5 hours in the past 3 days combined. You cry because you hurt. You cry because you are, thankfully, finally a mother with a baby in your arms.
People will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps, and I’m sure it’s wonderful advice, but it is hard during the day. You’ll want to watch her and hold her and possibly spend a few moments interacting with your partner.
You might find it hard to believe that the baby in front of you is the same baby that was in your belly, that you’re finally getting to know the little being that you carried so long. It’s so surreal to finally put the name to the little face. It will seem more and more fitting as the days go on.
You realize that getting up to pee a million times a night while pregnant is infinitely easier than getting up to feed and change a crying newborn.
You buy a crib for the nursery, a Pack ‘n Play with a bassinet level and newborn napper feature for your bedroom, and then an Auto Rock ‘n Play. You even briefly try co-sleeping. Nothing works as easily as you hoped because your baby likes to sleep while being held, so you keep hoping and praying as you try, try again.
You won’t believe it when your little baby outgrows her newborn clothes and diapers so fast that she only gets to wear them once (or possibly not at all) and you have a stack of diapers you have to pack away. Then you race to get your 1 month old through all her 3 month clothes and size 1 diapers before those are rendered useless as well.
You will feel worse following delivery than you did while pregnant. Lighter, yes, but more unsteady, sore, and uncomfortable. You’ll get tired of smelling like Tucks witch hazel pads and Dermoplast numbing spray, but they help so you continue to use them. Along with huge pads and the hospital underwear because they fit and you don’t have to worry about staining them. Don’t be afraid to take the ibuprofen and Tylenol. Around 5 days PP you might be hit with a contraction that brings you to your knees. It lasts for more than 30 minutes and you wonder if something’s terribly wrong, if you need to call an ambulance. Most likely it’s normal. Things are all moving back into place and your uterus has to shrink somehow. Take some Advil and get in the shower. Try to breathe through the pain and use some of those labor techniques. You’ll wonder if you’ll ever feel better again. But you will, around two weeks out you will start to feel more normal. (After you’ve gotten over that sneezing cold at one week PP - ouch!)
You fear you’ll miss the teeny tiny newborn who’s just a few days old, but as she grows you’ll only love her more and more.
Towards the end of pregnancy you were probably so DONE being pregnant, but some weeks or months after delivery, you might find yourself missing your belly and looking back at pictures longingly. So try to enjoy it while you have it, and after, remember that the most beautiful part of it all is in your arms.
You’ll wonder how ANYONE does it. How has the human race even survived? It all seems so hard. But you’ll survive too. One day at a time.
You’ll look forward to the day she actually smiles at you rather than blank-staring. And when you get them, her first smiles will be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen and you’ll forever be trying to elicit them.
You’ll learn that everything takes so much longer with a newborn, especially getting ready in the morning and getting to the store. There’s usually multiple diapers and feedings and outfits involved. And that’s ok. You’ll learn to plan accordingly.
Breastfeeding, at first, is scary, especially when you find out your little babe has lost almost 9% of her body weight in 3 days, and painful, even if you’ve met with 3 lactation consultants and bought every nipple cream and shield available.. but this is normal. She will gain the weight back and it will get better. You’re both learning something new.. You’ll be so proud of every ounce she gains because your body did that.
When you’re nursing and she’s fussy or downright mad, you’ll worry and wonder: Does she have an allergy or an intolerance? Painful gas or a bubble? Is the milk coming too fast? Is she exhausted? Does she hate the taste of something you ate? Onions? Chocolate? Milk? You’d do anything if only you knew so you’ll try your best to figure it out.
The Moro/startle reflex. SO. CUTE.
She makes a lot of noise. You might be expecting sweet little coos, but usually a lot of grunts, wheezes, and snorts are involved. And mostly at night.
Sometimes Dad/S.O. will be the only one who can calm and soothe her. Try not to take it personally. Be thankful instead.
When you finally get her to sleep and go to lay her down she’ll stay still and quiet just long enough for you to think she’s soundly asleep and get back to bed. But as soon as your head hits the pillow she’ll start to fuss. It’s uncanny.
You’ll say over and over how she’s getting so big, but at the end of the day she still seems so small.
Your postpartum body will present a conundrum: on the one hand, you’ll be so proud of the beautiful life you grew but on the other hand, you might feel self conscious about the stretch marks and saggy tummy. Keep trying to convince yourself of the former.
You will want to go bra-less so bad, but won’t feel able to due to your new leakiness. Showers become twice as nice.
It will be much harder to eat. Or do anything for that matter. Food will get cold. Dishes and laundry will pile up. It will have been a couple days since you showered. Don’t worry, someone will get to it at some point. Get help when you can.
You may think you didn’t have much of a lifestyle before baby, especially if you stayed in a lot and enjoyed watching tv, but you will soon realize that even something as simple as tv-watching is difficult with a newborn. But she’s so cute that you (mostly) won’t mind.
You will love all her features: her chubby cheeks, sweet mouth and silly tongue, button nose, curious eyes, her tiny fingers and toes, round belly, and soft head. You wouldn’t trade her for the world and, already, you can’t imagine life without her.
You’ll fill up your phone’s memory with hundreds and hundreds of pictures. And will have a hard time deleting any.
The nursery that you worked so lovingly on while pregnant won’t exactly look like a nursery anymore when you realize at 1 month that she should probably be learning to sleep where she will eventually be sleeping, so you move the crib into your bedroom only to have her spend half the night back in the newborn napper in the Pack ‘n Play anyways. You’ll get a bedtime routine figured out soon enough (at least that’s what I’m telling myself, we’re still working on this one!)
Clean baby is the Best. Smell. Ever.
You’ll worry if you’ll be a good enough mother/parent to her and if you’ll be able to grow and nurture her the way she needs and deserves. Try to remind yourself that worrying about this is probably a good sign that you’re going to do just fine.
You’ll dream about your future together. Cuddles and smiles and giggles and story time and bath time and bedtime and trips to the zoo and vacations and first days of school. You know you’ll be loving her deeply for the rest of your life ❤️
Some things I’ve learned in the first 5 weeks with my daughter and encouragement to new moms/soon-to-be moms
So… okay. Just because you all need to see it, I’ll leave you here this fanart because it caused me to start shipping this and so far I’m liking it.
Thank you @burythekidd for giving me this beautiful ship, I love it, I don’t care about anything else.
As a reference, this is set on a day-to-day AU. Akande is a martial artist, so he needs to train everyday as a job. I want to apologize if it’s not the best, it’s 1:40 in the morning and I just googled the info I needed.
Title: I have a cellphone for one reason only Fandom: Overwatch Pairing: Lúcio Correia dos Santos/Doomfist: The Successor | Akande Ogundimu Rating: G. Word Count: 1124 Brief tags: Fluff, Texting, Selfies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Summary: Akande wouldn’t really need a cellphone if it wasn’t because Lúcio always sends him cute messages.
“You’re so tiny…” Johnny whispered as he picked up the little bundle of cotton in his arms. “You’re so little I feel as though I’m going to break you.”
His fingers stroked his little boy’s cheek gently, the world had never felt more silent. He closed his eyes tightly as he remembered the beatings he had endured from his father, he would remember falling to the ground and hearing nothing. He couldn’t hear the sound that his dad’s boot would make as he kicked into Johnny’s stomach, he could hear the harsh words his father would call him… he couldn’t hear a single thing. All he could hear was silence, like he was the only person in the world, and that had brought him some comfort.
But this time, he was holding his world in his arms.
“Okay little buddy. I need to talk to you, you hear?” The tiny, little newborn baby looked up at him sleepily, not a single clue as to what this strange man was uttering before him.
“I’m going to be the best daddy in the whole world. I will never hurt you, I won’t ever lay a hand on you, except to hug you and show you affection. I won’t ever be like my old man. I’m going to love you every day until the day I die. I promise.”
Johnny meant it… he would die before he hurt this little kid the way his dad had hurt him.
Four little newborn pumpkin designs! 🎃 Which color is your favorite?
All options now available in the shop. Link in bio.
It’s almost halfway through October and the weather in Boston hardly feels like fall yet! The leaves have barely changed but I have to work with what I got. 🍁
Just a little Dad!Harold and newborn baby girl blurb for you :)
Every part of your body ached with a dull pain, a sure sign
that you’d been pushed nearly to your wits’ end. The small nap you had managed
to sneak in for a few hours hadn’t done much in terms of nursing your
tiredness, but it had helped some. Sleepily, you turned your head, propped up
by a mound of pillows, to see Harry sitting in a blue hospital chair.
Slumped over, rather.
He couldn’t have been very comfortable, one of his long legs
tucked up and under himself, the other dangling off the side of the armrest. He
held on tightly to a pillow and his head was knocked forward. If you listened
closely, you could hear small and even breaths from his tired mouth, shoulders
peacefully moving up and down. A smile crept up over your face as you watched
him sleep so calmly.