little mix style

Music Series: I Love You by Little Mix

Oh my goodness! This was one of the most emotional stories for me that I’ve written to date! Thank you to the Anon who requested this MS story! I struggled trying to write it last night and had to put it off for awhile until I finally felt the right story, then I still ended up rewriting parts of it 4 different times.

I hope you all like it. Angst is your thing, I know, and this is riddled with it! I LOVE reading angst, but writing it is exhausting! I hate making Harry and the missus both sad!!!

So here it is, per Anon request, to the tune of Little Mix’s, “I Love You”, which can be found on Spotify at this link: https://open.spotify.com/track/0UR5YpswSYwZvUXVH8xbNC

Grab a tissue! xo

Shelli

*****************************

Uh oh, uh oh, here I go again, baby, baby

I hear your name and it’s like I’m breaking, aching

You still got that power hanging over me

It’s always over but still happening

Uh oh, uh oh, here I go again, baby, baby

Breakups were never easy. But your breakup with Harry was more difficult than you had ever imagined.

Harry had taken you out for a nice dinner, then a lovely drive in the night, before taking you back home. He walked you into your house and you could sense he was uneasy about something.

“Is it okay if we talk about something before I leave?” he asks.

“Yeah, of course,” you say, grinning at him with a hint of concern. “Everything okay?”

“Um…” Harry seems uncomfortable, and takes your hand as he leads you to sit next to him on the sofa. “You know I leave in a few days for work.”

“I know,” you say with a smile. “Should be an amazing tour!”

Harry smiles slightly and nods. The two of you had been dating for several months and had quickly fallen in love. But knowing that he would be absent from your life for nearly the next year, it made him rethink the timing of the relationship.

The entire rest of the conversation you barely remembered. Your head was spinning in disbelief. Had Harry just broken up with you, suggesting it wasn’t healthy at that point in your relationship together to be separated for so long? Your ears were ringing. He knew when the two of you decided to be together that the tour was coming. Did he not think you would last that long with him? You weren’t sure whether to be hurt or offended, but you were both.

“I just don’t think it’s fair of me to ask you to wait for me, love,” he insists, shaking his head. “You have your work, and mine is insane. We’ll never see each other.” You try and process what he is saying, without breaking down in front of him. “We’ll learn to resent each other, and I don’t want that for us. I care too much about you.”

You wipe a tear from your eyes, hoping he hadn’t seen it, then look at the floor. You tried to reason it out in your mind, but your heart was broken that he didn’t want you anymore.

“I’d rather do it this way and hold on to our friendship, then have the regrets and resentment, and lose our friendship in the process,” he says honestly.

For a long moment you say nothing, then look at him, the sadness in your eyes killing him.

“Alright then,” you agree, reluctantly. “If that’s what you want. I guess your mind is made up. I’ll respect your decision.”

You stand and walk to the door as he follows you. You can barely look at him, not wanting to break down in front of him. You aren’t angry with him…well, not much…but the pain you are feeling in that moment is nearly more than you can bear. You open the door and before you can stop him, Harry has his arms around you, holding you tightly. You can barely breathe as you try not to cry, but you feel the drops leave your eyes as they land on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry. You know it isn’t because I don’t love you. It’s just…”

“It’s fine,” you barely choke out, your voice trembling terribly. You want to tell him you love him too, and you do love him, with all of your heart, but it just doesn’t feel right in that moment. You sniff as he pulls away slightly, leaving a gentle kiss on your lips, then quickly walking out the door. You watch as he practically runs to his car, seeing him wipe his face with his t-shirt before getting in and driving away.

I just wanna scream out ‘til my voice breaks

Even if the tears fall and my heart hates me

Baby I love you

You lean your back against the closed door and bury your face in your hands as you weep openly, screaming as loudly as you can, thinking it will make you feel better but it doesn’t. Nothing could make you feel better. You couldn’t even hate him, because you understood, or at least you tried to understand it from his perspective.

Your heart is broken. The man you are in love with just broke up with you, leaving you alone and feeling deserted and depressed. And it wasn’t like he was just going to be a few miles away in his home, or running into each other in a restaurant. He was leaving in a couple of days on tour. He would be thousands and thousands of miles away from you, and it hurt. No more flirty texts or calls…no more late night pop-in’s at your door, asking for a sleepover with you…no more spending time with the person you considered your best friend…no more.

But what made this the most difficult was knowing that you were no longer his. That he had chosen you to be with, then for his own reasons, took it back. It angered you, but you couldn’t hate him. You loved him, and you didn’t think you would ever stop.

Uh oh, uh oh, don’t know how I’m still breathing, breathing

I got this hole up in my heart baby, baby

And it doesn’t matter what no one say

Even though it’s broken, I love you anyway

Uh oh, uh oh, here I go again, baby, baby

For the next couple of weeks you felt nothing but devastation, desperation, and the feeling of being completely alone. Harry had texted and tried to call a couple of times, you supposed to make sure you were okay, but it was too soon for you and you ignored him. The last thing you wanted was to hear his voice, so it was ironic to you that it was also what you most wanted. You hadn’t been able to listen to the voicemails he left. You felt in a sense that you needed to heal first. Losing Harry wasn’t something you get over overnight.

With time and the love of a few good friends, you began taking your like back again, feeling yourself again. Mutual friends of yours said Harry calls them every now and then checking on you, making sure you are okay. But when he began seeing photos of you on friend’s social accounts again, it struck him that you were moving on. It’s what he wanted, right? For you to be able to go on without him? So why did it make him so sad?

Harry missed you terribly, like a piece of his heart was missing. Breaking up with you, while seeming the right thing to do, had left Harry miserable, harder than what he realized it would be. Seeing you in friend’s videos and photos was bittersweet. He loved you. He would always love you.

I just wanna scream out 'til my voice breaks

Even if the tears fall and my heart hates me

I just wanna know how I can save me

Even if these three words choke and take me

Baby I love you

Just what you needed! Dinner out with a group of friends…food and wine and good company. God, did you ever need it. Each day seemed to get a bit easier, or maybe you just got better at ignoring the pain. Shopping trips with friends…a ski weekend with a group from work…a color run with your girlfriends. You purposely kept yourself busy to keep from thinking too much about Harry, because you doubted he spent nearly as much time thinking about you. It had been a few months since he left. A few months since he said he thought the two of you should breakup.  A few months since his tour began and he left you alone.

As you and your friends toasted to the night, someone spoke up while looking at their phone, and nearly made you choke on your wine.

“Hey, guys! Harry has a show about an hour away tomorrow night. He saw that we were all close by and invited us all to come. Who’s in?” your friend asked.

Your heart jumped and began beating so quickly you felt like vomiting. Four or five friends said they wanted to go, but some looked at you with pity or sadness or whatever the fuck it was, as your best friend grabbed your hand.

“Go ahead, it’s fine,” you insist to them. “I…I’ll go back early. You all go have fun.” They look at you quietly. “I can’t…I’m sorry. But please, don’t feel bad about it. His shows are great. Go enjoy it.”

“I’m not going without you,” your friend says. “You all go on and we’ll head back tomorrow, get in some shopping time,” she smiles at you. You smile slightly.

You were miserable the entire rest of the evening but thought you covered it well. The thought that Harry was only an hour from where you were made you want to run the opposite direction.

I feel your touch when I’m alone at night

But it’s just me who’s holding tight

And this life don’t feel like you

There’s nothing left but these I love you’s

As you finally make it back home, loving on your best friend and sending her off, you welcome the comfort of your bed and a good movie. Looking through the selection of films, trying to decide what you were in the mood for, you feel your phone buzz with a text. Assuming it’s your friend, letting you know she got home safely, you look at your screen…and see it’s from Harry.

‘Are you here at the show? I’d really like to see you.’

You read it over and over, unbelieving that he sent it. How did he expect you to just show up at the show, happy and carefree, after not seeing him in so long? He was the one who wanted the breakup, not you. You didn’t know how to reply to that. You thought hard, biting on your finger, trying to decide how and if to respond, knowing he could see his message was delivered. Finally you reply.

‘No, I’m not. Have a great show.’

Short and sweet. Simple, but direct. Did it sound rude? You didn’t think so.

You waited to see his reply but it never came, only the word “delivered” under your message. Your overactive brain began to panic. Was he upset? Was he mad? Was he sad? Did he even care? Was he just being polite by sending the text? And why the hell were you making yourself sick over this?!

Because you still loved him.

You didn’t hear from Harry again that night or the next day. You determined he was only being nice by sending the text, being polite. Did he think you so fragile that he needed to keep checking on you? Even the next morning after the concert you ditched, you woke to a text from a friend who attended, saying Harry wouldn’t stop asking about you.

Your heart was still broken, but trying to mend. You still cried sometimes, wondering if Harry missed you as much as you missed him. You hated that you still missed him. You wondered if you would ever get over him, or if he had gotten over you as easily as he appeared to.

And I just wanna scream out 'til my voice breaks

Even if the tears fall and my heart hates me

I just wanna know how I can save me

Even if these three words choke and take me

Baby I love you

You welcomed the holiday trip with your friends! Two weeks on a beach in the tropics? Yes, thank you! How you managed the vacation time at work was beyond you, but you ran with it before they could change their minds. When the door on the plane opened and you stepped out onto the steps, you breathed in the fresh air and felt the sunshine on your skin, and knew this was the medicine you needed.

The sun felt good on your skin as you lay on the beach, chatting and enjoying time with friends, listening to the music playing, seeing people enjoying themselves. You suck on your drink, questioning why you didn’t do this more often. Oh, yeah…it took time and money, two things you rarely had at the same time. You looked out at the water, feeling the breeze blow your hair into your face, and smiled, wondering where in this world Harry was and if he was happy. You shake the thought from your head. No getting depressed or melancholic for the next two weeks. Too much fun to be had!

You all decided to go back to the hotel and relax or nap for a bit, knowing you were going to be out late that night at a beach party. You stepped out of the vehicle that took you back to your hotel, and began to walk with your friends, when you heard a familiar voice. You looked up and saw him, hugging one of your mutual friends with a smile on his face, his eyes continually darting toward you.

It was the first time you had seen him since he left. The first time hearing his voice again. The first time you felt that pang in your chest in awhile, or felt your stomach do flips. As Harry said hello to everyone, he walked to you and looked you in your eyes, smiling slightly, his eyes not straying from you.

“Hello, love,” he said, before slowly reaching for your hand, and leaning to kiss your cheek. “You look beautiful.”

You didn’t know what to say. You had a knot in your throat the size of Cleveland, and you were hot and sweaty from the beach. Your first thought was “liar”, but you hoped that even in your state of being, he really did find you beautiful. Best not to get your hopes up, though.

“How are you?” you ask, politely.

He shrugs his shoulders as you think you see a hint of his chin quivering.

“Would it be okay if we talk?” he asked nervously.

You look at him, then look at your group of friends, all quiet and trying not to reveal that they are hanging on your and Harry’s every word and motion. You hesitantly nod.

Harry follows you to your room and walks inside as you open the door, closing it behind him. You set your beach bag on the bed and grab your water bottle for a drink. You glance at Harry again, his eyes still trained on you. Neither of you sit or speak for a moment, then you decide, balls to the wall, to jump in.

“Why are you here, Harry?” you ask him point-blank, looking him dead in the eyes. “Why aren’t you on tour?”

He swallows hard, sensing the irritation in your voice. “We…had a few days break, and one of the guys mentioned you were all here,” he said. “Was hoping to come see you…talk to you.”

“Why?” you ask, firmly.

“Why?” Harry asks. “Love, I’ve tried numerous times over the past few months to talk to you. I’ve texted, I…I’ve called. I even tried to video chat with you, but you would never respond to anything. I needed to see you!”

“Why did you need to see me?” you ask coldly. “Wanted to make sure I was still pining away for you?”

“What?” Harry asks, confused. “No, babe. I…fuck, I miss you. Is that okay?” he asks, trying to keep the discussion from escalating into something more.

You nod, looking at him and saying nothing.

“I’m hoping you miss me, too,” he says sadly. “I thought I could do this, but…”

“You thought you could do this…” you repeat. “You thought it would be easy to leave me. Easy to break my heart then move on.”

“No, I didn’t say that,” he says. “I thought it was the best thing for us!”

“Yes,” you say nodding again. “So you’ve said. But did you care at all about what I thought?”

Harry looked at you questioningly.

“Let me ask you, Harry,” you say, frustrated. “Do you still think it’s what is best for us?”

“No!” Harry says, walking toward you but you move, leaning against a piece of furniture. “No, babe, I don’t. I know better now. Fuck, baby, I…I love you so much. I need you! I’ve been miserable.”

“You’ve been miserable?! Harry, did you once think about what I thought or felt?” you ask, tears welling partly from sadness, partly anger. “Did you ever once think that maybe I had a say in the decision, too?”

Harry realized what you were saying. “No, I guess I didn’t,” he says humbly. “I’m sorry about that, love. I made a mistake…”

“Yes!” you blurt. “Yes, you did. The past few months…have been…” you can’t even finish your sentence from the hurt you are feeling as your throat tightens and shakes. “You. You are the one who decided we shouldn’t be together. You are the one who made that decision, without me. I had no say in it. You decided that…for me.”

“I know, baby,” Harry says. “I’m so…”

“No,” you shake your head. “You don’t just get to apologize and have everything all nice and pretty again. I deserve a hell of a lot more than that.”

“I’ll do anything, sweetheart,” Harry says with begging eyes and heart. “Please…let’s just talk it out…”

You try to listen but somehow your heart feels like it’s breaking all over again. He’s begging you to take him back. He admitted he was wrong and made a mistake. What more could you want from him?

More.

“No,” you say as a tear falls down your cheek. “No.”

You walk to the door and open it and look at him as another tear falls, your lips shaking. Harry can’t believe you want him to leave.

“Baby, no, please,” he begs. “We have to work this out.”

“No,” you say. “YOU have to work this out. I didn’t break your heart. You broke mine. And until you figure out how to fix that, I can’t do…this.” You want nothing more than to throw your arms around him and kiss him, taking him to your bed and spending all the time he has left on his break, showing him how you feel about him. Showing him how much you love him.

Harry allows you to see his tears as you hear his voice catch with a cry. He walks to you and looks at you with the most horrible, sad look on his face, knowing he is feeling the heart break that you’ve been feeling. He places his hand on the side of your face and kisses your cheek as he sobs, your own tears falling but knowing that, for now, this is what you both needed, even if he didn’t agree. You were making the choice this time.

“I love you, baby,” he says, his face leaning against yours. “I love you.”

You let out a quiet sob as he kisses your lips quickly then walks out the door.

I love you

Baby I love you

I love you

Baby I love you

2

X

Pink; a delicate color that means sweet, nice, playful, cute, romantic, charming, feminine, and tenderness, is associated with bubble gum, flowers, cotton candy, and sweetness. The color pink is the color of universal love of oneself and of others.

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i hope u guys like 

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🌸HARRY STYLES 🌸

if you save please clik heart or reblog!💕 have a good day xx follow for more, thx🐻

looking for new mutuals!

please reblog this if you mainly post about any of the following:

  • captain america
  • x-men
  • just some marvel in general
  • sebastian stan
  • chris evans
  • harry potter
  • one direction / harry styles
  • little mix
  • the flash / arrow
  • 13 reasons why
  • the vampire diaries / the originals
  • hamilton

i will check out every blog!

So the speculation about Harry dabbling in drugs fueled by “Carolina” lyrics is built around a fandom invented narrative of how raw and honest Harry is about his gentle tip-toeing to the edge. But anything real or imagined about Zayn and drugs is built around a fandom invented narrative about what a destructive scumbag he is. Ok.

I know how some of y'all are and I know why. This is just an unfriendly reminder that I see you and you disgust me.