little hanky panky

Mini Loaves- Artemi Panarin

Originally posted by artemiaddict

Ok I’m gonna start off by saying I say somethings in here as neither a true Preds nor Hawks fan so please don’t be upset by it! I didn’t see the game so don’t be upset by that either! Ok now that that is done… Bread man! I cannot go a day without thinking about Soup and a Sandwich. I hope there are more tbh! XD Ok so enjoy!

Warning: Kane mentioned

Anon Request: Hey please can you do an Artemi Panarin one where the reader is pregnant and she gets a few of the other WAGS to sit behind the bench at a game with posters that say “world’s greatest dad with #72” and “the baker has a buns in the oven ” or “bread baked in 2015 and mini loaves coming in 2017” (implying that they’re having twins) and stuff like that to tell bread that he’s going to be a dad

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              This was the best idea you’ve ever had.

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Live (Part 2/2)

Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Summary: Reader is alive! Reader learns about the aftermath of the Civil War and has a serious discussions with Tony and Peter.

A/N: This wasss all one fic, but I split it up because it was getting really long and worked better in 2 parts. Hope you like it. This is the last part. Be prepared for a fluffy as shit ending! (I hate endings)

Masterlist

Beep… Beep… Beep…

I groaned. What the fuck is that annoying beeping? Am I in a hospital?

“Y/N? Babe?” Peter’s voice came from right next to me, “Are you awake?”

I cracked open my eyes, but the lights were too bright. “P-peter. Th-the lights.”

“Oh, sorry!” He chirped, “FRIDAY, can you turn down the lights a little?”

“Yes, Mister Parker.” The AI responded. “Shall I notify Mr. Stark that Miss Stark is awake?”

“Yes, please.” I called out, voice cracking, “Thank you, FRIDAY.” I looked around. I was at the compound. Not prison?

“You’re welcome, Miss Stark.”

Peter sat on the side of my bed and grabbed my hand, “How are you feeling?”

“How am I alive?” I asked, eyeing his water bottle on the side table. “I truly thought I was going to bleed out. I was bleeding out of my mouth.”

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anonymous asked:

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT WHEN HARRY SAID "A LITTLE HANKY PANKY" ON SNL. THAT MURDERED ME

HONESTLY, IT’S SO… FUNNY. REGARDLESS OF THE SKETCH, I BET HIS SAYS THAT IN REAL LIFE… 

When he’s teasing his mother and Robin whilst talking to Gemma; “Mum and Robin were doing the hanky panky before we arrived. Walked in when they were dressed in robes.”

When he’s on the phone to Gemma and she has to hang up quickly; “Going for a quick hanky panky session with Michal, huh? Don’t forget to wrap it up.”

Oh, and when he’s with his missus and he’s feeling cheeky and in a giggly and hyper-ish mood; “Let’s go to the bedroom for some hanky panky. I’m in the mood for some o’ that.” 

ALSO, WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HIS ACCENT IN THE SOLDIER SKETCH? BECAUSE FUCK ME, IT’S ADORABLE. xx

anonymous asked:

73 logicality?

73: “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

Warnings: NSFW mention, swearing (if I missed something make sure to tell me!)
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Morality couldn’t believe himself. Well actually, he could totally believe this.

What’s better than emotions? Getting shit drunk and going home with a complete stranger!

But really, where was he?? Morality contemplated as he stared at the unfamiliar ceiling.

“Mmm…”

And who was the person laying next to him??

Morality stared in abject horror as the other man twisted in his sleep, facing Morality with a sleepy look and obvious sex hair.

Morality’s heart melted as he looked into those brown eyes. The eyes widened slightly and the other man reached behind him to fumble with something.

It was only when the other put on a pair of glasses did Morality realize he had his on, probably the whole time.

Morality briefly wondered if he’d had his glasses on the night before before rough, sleepy tones interrupted his thoughts.

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

Morality grinned. “Well I’d assume it’s because we got up to a little pit of hanky panky, you and I.”

This revived a soft cringe. “What? Don’t say it like that. We obviously had coitus.”

Morality felt his face scrunch up.“Ew, that’s even worse than what I said!”

“How about we leave it as: You two fucked?”

Both people in the bed looked at the door, a smirking man with black boxers leaning against the door frame.

The man beside Morality rubbed his head. “Anxiety, what happened last night?”

The man, Anxiety, shrugged. “Dunno, but you weren’t the only one who ended up with a babe in your bed.” Anxiety shot a wink at Morality, turning to walk away.

“At least my fuck buddy made breakfast.”

Morality chuckled softly, sitting up and searching the floor. “Hey um…”

The other sat up as well. “Logic. ”

Morality chuckled. “Right, Logic! I’m Morality!! Um, where are my clothes?”

Guys.

I tried to buy a real book yesterday. Like, paper and ink. I wanted something different but something with a little hanky panky. So I sat at Barnes & Noble and started reading the first chapter and it just goes bang into what the author said would be ‘erotica.’ 

It was legit the WORST smut I’ve ever read and I wanted to die of secondhand embarrassment. 

 I have been ruined by top notch fanfic smut. 

 Y'all have ruined me. 

 Now I’ll be scouring masterlists for good smut to cleanse my pallet.

Originally posted by piratevanrock

Lumiere, Darling.

Note: Requested by anon. Requests are open!!

**can you do an imagine where Harry is your first boyfriend plus you are waiting until marriage so you feel really down because you feel too innocent for him.

**Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran

**Outfit 1, Outfit 2

You could spend all of eternity in days such as so, where the sun held high in the sky and clouds were scarce, yet somehow the intense heat that usually followed had yet to appear. You’d met your best friend at a cute little cafe you’d been dying to try, hoping to catch a late lunch since all of your time as of late had been wrapped up in Harry. Harry. It baffled you, still, that you’d finally found someone actually worth your time, which was a sacred to you. It was all new and exciting. You had your first real boyfriend, someone you knew you could count on and knew would always be there for you. Just so happen that person was Harry Styles, and he was the best first boyfriend a girl could ever ask for.

“So do you think tonight’s the night?” She asked.

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Arrow Fic: Time May Give You More Than Your Poor Bones Could Ever Take

A/N: #things that are @lerayon’s fault. Yet another pass at the #soufflespoilers. What if Felicity’s known about the ring since Ivy Town? Featuring equal parts Moira Queen and Alanis Morrisette. (It’s 4am. Shit’s weird.)

Title from “Belated Promise Ring” by Iron and Wine.

Time May Give You More Than Your Poor Bones Could Ever Take (AO3)

Felicity Smoak has always had a tenuous relationship with irony. She remembers, as a kid, asking her mother what the word meant when that Alanis Morrissette song was all over the place.

Donna’s boyfriend at the time, a bouncer at a strip club near the Bellagio, had interrupted, “It’s how rich people say ‘bullshit,’” cracking himself up. Felicity remembers storming off to consult her dog-eared dictionary.

It’s not a term she likes, as a problem-solving left brain. Effects have causes, questions have answers. Irony pays those rules no heed. Besides, the word is over-assigned and misused by people who don’t really know what they’re saying. Including, and especially, Alanis.

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anonymous asked:

Omg on that note, could there be a short: "Five times the Avengers overheard Loki/Steve going at it? (And one time someone confronted Steve about it and he just about died from embarrassment)" in the RTC verse? Just a small idea for whenever you have time!

The Tenth Floor, loki/steve, remember this cold verse, what it says up there in the prompt (although it’s four+one instead of five+one), 2.1k

Bruce had lived in a lot of places with thin walls and overheard a lot of things he’d rather not. As a rule, though, Avengers née Stark Tower wasn’t one of those places, and he’d gotten kind of used to not hearing anything weird through the walls.

The kitchen on the tenth floor wasn’t the closest one to R&D, but it was the one stocked with more than just coffee Bruce couldn’t drink anymore. He didn’t think too much about its proximity to their…houseguest.

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