little debbie cakes

Y/N hasn’t left his side since he found her a week ago and he can’t say it’s the worst thing. Sure, she can be a menace and an absolute nuisance at times, and she eats all of his food, but she expresses her gratitude in his saving and feeding her by protecting him, whether it be from seedy burglars or a raccoon that had scampered in through his open patio door. And he can’t say the company isn’t nice either, since he’d never liked being alone in the first place.

“Harry,” she begins, voice soft, low, and borderline monotone that drags him from his reverie, and he looks towards where she sits besides him on the couch, “I’m bored. Can we go to the grocery store?”

His brows furrow, “We went yesterday, what could you possibly need from the grocery store?”

“Milk, please.”  She stands up and grabs his keys, her gestural way of saying that she is going with or without him, “And Little Debbie.”

or

Y/N is 100% not a human 

(this is part 1 of a small little series I’ll be writing in between one shots!!) 

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Flipping Forks

Here is a true story. In my former life, I arranged food for 40-50 people every Sunday night. Imagine a dented plastic table decorated with rogue Sharpie scribbles, two-liters, pizza, and if everyone was kind to me, Little Debbie cakes. It was about as sexy and appetizing as it sounds.

At the beginning of the line was a cutlery tray. It looked like:

Some of you see this tray and your brain screams: THE UTENSILS ARE FACING OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS.

I know this because every week my adult volunteers dutifully fixed this fork crisis, ecstasy and satisfaction on their faces until the tray looked like:

Ah! Order restored. The Earth was off-axis, but we are returning to proper position and the apocalyptic freezing or frying of humanity is abated. Whew. Close call. Thank God for fork flippers.

This is also a true story. One day I said, “STOP FLIPPING THE FORKS.” (They stopped. I rarely all-caps yell.)

Why stop these correctors of chaos?

What if I told you the 40-50 partakers of unflipped forks were mostly middle school boys? And then I asked the question: do you believe a single middle school boy cared about the direction of forks?

In 9 years of setting Sunday dinner forty-five times a year, they never did.

Here is truer story. Some of you are wasting time and emotional energy flipping forks for middle school boys. (If you’re thinking middle school boys might be a metaphor, you’re correct.)

I’ve taught fork flipping as it relates to time management and goal setting. (I’ve written about time management here.) But over the years, I applied the fork flipping theory to emotional investments too.

Here’s my best truth. People flip emotional forks for audiences that will never appreciate the effort. I’ve done it myself. Too many times to count. 

Here are four things I’ve learned.

1. Audience is key.

If I’d been arranging dinner for a crowd of ladies in their twilight years (you know the ones–they drive Cadillac’s and kick ass at bridge), not only would I have flipped the forks, I’d have borrowed sterling silver. That audience cares about those details. So think about the recipient of your generous actions and ask, will this matter to them? Am I actually doing this for me? Is it emotionally efficient?

2. The problem is not your effort.

There is nothing fundamentally wrong with flipping forks. The effort can be a beautiful offering of selflessness, but don’t forget that emotional energy is finite.

3. Identify those who deserve your best emotional efforts.

There are those who deserve flipped forks. Folks who will notice your efforts and appreciate them properly, but we often burn out giving emotional energy to those who won’t appreciate us and deplete energy for those who will. I recently said to a friend, why would you punish someone who wants to help you to help someone who wants to punish you? That’s the sentiment here as well.

4. Identify those who do not deserve your best emotional efforts.

There is a very good chance you have said of someone, “I give and give and nothing ever satisfies him/her.” Perhaps…and I’m just spitballing here…you don’t owe that audience your spectacular efforts.

(It’s fine to choose another effort. My middle school boys didn’t notice forks, but when I invented a game called Blender Wars…well, that was a different story.)

*No middle school boys were injured in the writing of this post. **Some middle school boys threw up after Blender Wars.

Kitchen Nightmares

Request - Bucky x reader where they’re grocery shopping or cooking and the reader has to explain all these foods and brands Bucky has never heard of. Like little Debbie cakes or those weird apples that taste like grapes.

A/N - I ventured a tiny bit off of the request but I hope you like it @cannbalisticmeasures (who tumblr won’t let me tag)

Originally posted by buckyjbbarnes

“Y/N?” Bucky’s confused voice carried from your kitchen.

“Yeah, Buck.” You called s you made your way to where he stood, standing in front of your fridge with a box in his hand.

Bucky squinted his eyes at the box for a moment before pulling your refrigerator open. You watched, nearly concerned as he rummaged through while still clutching onto the box.

“Bucky?” You spoke, tearing his concentration from the fridge long enough for him to start in on your cabinets.

“Hm?” The hum of curiosity vibrated his throat.

“What did you want?” You threw your arms out , “What are you doing?”

“What is this?” Bucky’s brows knitted together as he read the label, “Hot Pockets? This looks disgusting.”

“It’s…it’s like a,” You were at a loss for words. You’d never had to explain to someone what a Hot Pocket was and you had to admit to yourself that the snack was odd enough for you to not find the words. “It’s like an oversized pizza roll, I guess.”

“What the Hell is a pizza roll?” He asked sounding more genuinely perplexed than he was to begin with, “Like a calzone?”

“My poor, old Brooklyn boy.” you sighed into the palms of your hands, “Yes, they’re like mini calzones.”

“We could just make a pizza, Y/N. You don’t need this,” Bucky shook his head, tssing the box on your kitchen table.

“I know, but sometimes I don’t have time to make a pizza,” you went on to explain. Moments like this did well to remind you just how old Bucky was, “Other times, I’m just lazy and would rather throw something in the microwave.”

“Yeah, I don’t really get this contraption either.” Bucky pointed his thumb toward your microwave.

“Says the man with a metal arm.” You tilted your head and let out a laugh, “Alright Gordon Ramsy, time to get out of the kitchen.”

“Who?”


@bovaria @bionic-buckyb @sebbytrash

waffle house anon, i’m drunk and vulnerable. Let’s get naked, smash little debbie cakes onto each other, and yell at each other till the neighbors call the cops. 

No genital touching tho. I’m not an “easy girl.” 

Thanksgiving fattening (FFA fiction)

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of year. Well, scratch that. Everything from Halloween to New Years is my favorite because A. It starts getting a bit cold out and B. My already fat boyfriend really starts gaining. The only problem is that my family and I are going out of town this year so I’m disappointed I won’t be there to feed him. At least there will be leftovers. I stayed over at his apartment last night and I woke up early to make him a fattening breakfast of biscuits and gravy with hash browns, bacon, sausage, and pancakes. “Hey cutie,” he emerges from his room and wraps his arms around my waist from behind so his fat belly squishes into my back. “Hey fatty,” I reply as innocently as possible. “Damn. All that’s for me?” He asks, a bit surprised. “Well it’s definitely not for me!” I laugh considering I’m a mere hundred pounds and he’s hovering in the 400s as far as we can tell. He takes a plate of food and heaps on at least 2 servings. “Thanks babe. I’m starving.” “You always are,” I somewhat joke and he smirks deviously. He finishes his plate so I pile more food on and he complains “babe…I’m stuffed.” “I know,” I say innocently. “Don’t you want to get bigger? For me?” I tease him and sit on his lap, facing him. “God, yes. Of course.” His hands wrap around my waist gently and I feed him a forkful of pancakes. “Mm, that’s so good, Les,” he closes his eyes, savoring the flavor. He already feels fatter since we started dating just a few months ago. Even when he’s stuffed his belly is soft and jiggly which shows just how fat he is. “Keep eating.” I demand as I notice him start to slow down. He nods reluctantly but complies. “So what are we doing for thanksgiving? I want you to make me fatter.” God he’s so sexy. “I can ask and see if there’s room for one more…well you’re closer to the size of 3 people,” I jiggle his belly and he smiles. “Damn right! Thanks to my skinny girlfriend.” I’m still sitting on his lap, straddling him so he lifts and flops his belly onto my lap. One of the sexiest feelings EVER. Unfortunately I have to leave and when I get home I talk to my mom about him tagging along for thanksgiving. Unfortunately, she’s not a huge fan of David because she’s quite the health fanatic and thinks “I deserve better”, which is ridiculous. Im worried that if she lets David come with, the rest of my family will react similarly but I think it’ll be okay. Finally I convince her to squeeze in some room for David and I let him know. We’re leaving tomorrow so I stock up on fattening snacks since I know he’ll be hungry with the lack of food around my mother and I. He’s sleeping over so we can leave first thing in the morning and he’s so wide that he doesn’t completely fit on the couch. “Is there a weight limit on this thing?” He asks, somewhat serious. “I hope so. Please break it. I’d love to see my moms face when I explain that one.” I reach over and slide my hand under his shirt, exposing his massive, soft belly. His stomach growls which is great because we just ate about half an hour ago but I knew it wouldn’t be enough for him. “Don’t tell your mom,” he laughed and slapped his belly. I showed him my stash of junk food I got for the trip and his eyes lit up. “Wow you really do want me to get fatter!” He stifled a laugh. I had an entire bag packed of unhealthy snack foods like little Debbie cakes, mini donuts, Oreos, cinnamon buns, candy bars, Pringles, potato chips, everything. My boy has the biggest sweet tooth. We cuddle up on the couch and there’s no hope of him fitting on it when he lays down so we watch TV with his arm around my shoulder for a while and my hand discreetly under his shirt. I pull up the blanket over his belly so I can squeeze it without anyone noticing. I know he’s still hungry so I grab some candy from my stash for him and he eagerly starts eating. “Dinner wasn’t enough?” I joke. “Dinner? I thought that was a snack.” He jokes back. I throw a frozen pizza in the oven and he smiles, “thanks babe.” I walk back over and whisper “you’re going to be fatter before thanksgiving even comes.” “I hope so.” He replied, guiding my hand back under his shirt. “You will be.” I assure. He eats the entire pizza himself (with a little help from my encouragement) and falls asleep. Next morning we load up the car and I sneak out to Dunkin Donuts to grab some donuts and a breakfast sandwich for him. “God, you’re not even trying to hide the fact you’re trying to make me fat.” He whispered as I returned with the food. “My mom doesn’t know.” I replied hastily. “Let’s go in my room just to make sure she doesn’t wake up and see that these are all for you.” I catch his eyes widen because I’m sure he wasn’t expecting all dozen donuts and the sandwich to be his. He follows me to my room and I push him onto the bed and his fat jiggles for a second. “Eat.” I demand, guiding a chocolate frosted donut to his mouth. He opens willingly and takes a huge bite. As I’m feeding him with one hand, my free hand reaches for his shirt and I lift it so it’s sitting on top of his massive belly. He starts jiggling and squeezing it, teasing me. “Mm,” he practically moans. God, I’m so turned on watching him greedily eat the donuts I keep offering him and watching him play with his fat for me. “Mmm,” he moans a bit louder and eats a little quicker. He knows just how to turn me on. I hand him the donut he’s halfway finished eating and my lips gently kiss his soft neck. My tongue glides down to where his collarbone must be buried in fat and back up to his double chin. I move down and start kissing his massive belly as he continues eating and I leave a couple hickeys. “God, you’re so fat.” I say in between kisses. He just nods because he’s struggling to finish the donuts before my mom wakes up. He only has a few left so I’m encouraging him as much as I can. “You’re gonna look so sexy, you know that? With even more fat than you already have.” I whisper in his ear and kiss his neck. He eats faster and jiggles his belly some more. “Keep eating. Don’t stop. You’re almost there.” I take a handful of fat and squeeze, feeling it squish in between my grip. He finishes and I give him a glass of milk mixed with cream and he finishes the whole thing. “That’s my fat boy.” I kiss his cheek and clean up quickly. My mom’s up now and thanks us for loading the car and we head out once she’s done getting ready. It’s about a 5 hour drive so I’m glad I packed all those fattening snacks for David. Within about 2 hours he’s already discreetly snacking on some candy bars. I text him so my mom doesn’t hear and ask “thought you were soooo full from the donuts earlier.” He texts back “oh please that was hardly a challenge.” I roll my eyes and he pushes my arm playfully. We’re almost to my aunt’s house when my mom asks if we want mcdonalds and I immediately accept her offer, only of course she doesn’t know both orders are for David. He wants to eat a lot before thanksgiving dinner so he doesn’t look like too much of a pig. He wants to make a good impression but I’m sure he will, he’s perfect. We finally arrive and almost everyone’s already here. I jump out of the car to start unloading our bags when David whispers, “I’m actually pretty nervous.” I wrap my arms around him and reply, “babe you are perfect. If they can’t see that then it’s their loss.” “But what if I’m too fat? I just want your family to like me.” He looked so anxious I felt awful. I wish he didn’t have to worry about this. “Hush. They’ll love you. How could they not? You’re sweet and funny and you actually have your shit together unlike me.” I laughed and saw him stifle a smile. We followed my mom into the house and were greeted with hugs and introductions. “This is my boyfriend, David,” I tell my aunt and uncle. Their faces are hard to read but they’re respectful. It’s a bit warm in there and I notice David’s already sweating. “Well this is embarrassing,” he muttered. “I’m sure they don’t notice, it’s fine.” I reassure. A few of my cousins are here and they’re nice enough to David but they keep glancing at his stomach which he is painfully aware of. I can tell he’s trying to suck it in so i feel awful. “Babe, it’s okay. You don’t have to.” I gently touch his belly and he tries to smile. “Sorry.” He relaxes a bit. My grandma’s here and she gasps when she sees him. Thankfully, he didn’t notice. “Oh my,” she seemed taken aback. “Um, this is my boyfriend, David,” I motioned. He stood up from the couch to shake her hand and she was standoffish but smiled weakly. David sat back down and brushed it off. He took up at least 2/3 of the couch which made him look even more massive and I squeezed myself next to him. “You’re perfect.” I reassure. “Could everyone stop looking at me like I’m going to eat the entire turkey or something?” He shook his head, clearly distraught. “I’m so sorry. They like you though, they do.” I tried to assure him but he just looked down. “They keep staring at me. God, they probably think I’m rich or something since that’s the only logical explanation of why you would be with me.” He folded his arms and stared straight ahead. I traced my fingers along his back and promised he had nothing to worry about. I got up to get some water and I overheard my uncle talking to my mom in the kitchen. “We should have gotten another turkey, he’s huge!” He erupted in laughter only to see me scowling at him. “Oh hi Les, we were just…” I cut him off. “I know what you were doing.” I stormed out but didn’t tell David because he was already insecure about my family’s perception of him. I slipped my hand in his and admired his handsome face, double chin, and massive body. I don’t care what my family thinks. He kissed the top of my head and looked a bit more eased. Before dinner a few more family members congregated in the living room with us and tried to keep from staring. “I need some air,” David heaved and stood up and I followed. “I’m sorry. I thought they’d be better than this.” “It’s not your fault. I should’ve known by the way your mom treats me.” God I feel awful. I wish I could do something. “I should’ve known. It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have known since my mom acts so rude. I’m so sorry, David.” I apologized. He wrapped his arms around me and held me. “It’s okay. You didn’t know. I’m not mad at you I just want them to like me.” I can only imagine how hard that is for him and we went back inside. The tension eased a bit and he started talking to my aunt and cousins about his premed studies and everyone was quite impressed. I’m so proud of him. We all talked a bit more before dinner and David seemed much more relaxed. When he came back from the bathroom he looked pale and upset. “What’s wrong, babe?” I asked. “Can I talk to you?” He asked flatly. “Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?” “Not really. Your drunk uncle just ‘politely’ asked what I did to get you and then proceeded to laugh when I said I didn’t do anything to convince you, you just happened to like me too.” God I could kill everyone in this room right now. “I-I’m so sorry. That’s not okay. I’ll go talk to him,” I started but David pulled my arm. “No, no. It’s okay. He just said what everybody’s thinking.” David scoffed. “I’m so sorry.” I placed my hands gently on his belly and he shook his head. “Come on. Let’s go. I’m fine, I promise.” He followed me back to the living room and avoided eye contact with everyone. Words could not describe how angry I was at my family. they disrespected him as if he was nothing. I want to scream at them but that would make for an awkward dinner, to say the least. David stood up and went to the kitchen and offered to help set the table. He’s too sweet. He set the table and smiled weakly at me. “Thank you.” I hugged him and he nodded. Everyone started playing up their food and David sheepishly took a small serving. My family was dispersed through the house now and a few were already sitting. David and I brought our plates and sat down. One of my aunts muttered something under her breath so I called her out. “Oh I was just joking. Your friend can take more food if he wants.” She said. “He’s my boyfriend.” I corrected. Then of course my cousin chimed in “looks like he’s gonna need it! I’m just playing, dude.” He smacked David’s arm and David finally lost it. “Seriously? I just can’t win. It doesn’t matter that I’m premed, or that I volunteer at shelters, or anything. I’m too fat, right? I could cure cancer and I still wouldn’t be good enough for Leslie!” He threw his napkin on the table and stormed off and I was right behind. “Baby, baby I’m so sorry.” I was following him out the door and he kept shaking his head. “I don’t know what I expected. I’m sorry I yelled at them.” He apologized but he had every right to yell. “It’s not your fault if they can’t see the guy Im in love with.” We were sitting on the curb and I wrapped my arm around his neck and he rested his head on my shoulder. “I love you.” He kissed my cheek. “I love you.” I squeezed him tight. We awkwardly went back in the house and David was flooded with apologies. “Thank you guys, I appreciate it.” He said graciously to everyone. It was still awkward but we were all eating and talking and David kept flashing little smiles my way. After dinner, David and I had to pick up pumpkin pie since someone forgot it. I grab the keys and I hear David’s stomach growl. “Hungry?” I asked. “Always.” He grabbed his belly where no one could see. He better not try turning me on right now. “Let’s go, sexy.” I grab his hand and lead him out the door. Once were at the car he abruptly pushes me against it and squishes his belly into me. “I’m so hungry. Please…please I need food.” He practically moaned. Fuck. Now I’m turned on. “Get in the car.” I demand. He obeys and we’re in the way to the store when I say “I hope you know I’m buying more than just pie.” “I’d hope so.” He grinned devilishly. My hand was firmly planted on his jiggly thigh when I noticed him unbuttoning his shirt. His fat spilled out more and more with each button he undid. My hand crept higher up his thigh and we made it to the grocery store. I wanted to buy food to stuff him with but I’m so turned on I don’t want to wait. I lean over and he pulls away, teasing me. “Nope. Food first.” “You’re going to regret saying that.” I warn. “Is that a promise?” He teases. “Just button up your shirt, fatty.” And he does. We quickly browse the store and buy 2 pies, a pre-cooked dinner for 2, and fries and onion rings from the deli. Before we even make it to the car he’s already eating the fries. His appetite is insatiable. I unbutton his shirt as he continues eating and plant kisses down his massive, jiggly belly that’s sitting on his thighs and pouring out in between them. His chair’s leaning all the way back and his belly still looks huge. I take my time sinking my hands into his fat and watching him melt as I jiggle and rub it. It’s so soft that my lips sink into it with the slightest pressure and he’s using one hand to press my face deeper into his fat belly. My hands grab and squish his love handles covered in stretch marks and I climb on top and start grinding my hips into his giant body. I sit up a little so I can see his fat belly jiggling, bouncing, and swaying each time I grind into him. He finished the fries and onion rings and takes handfuls of the pie and eats greedily, even though I know he’s getting full. “Feed me.” He breathes heavily and I oblige. I shove my fingers in his mouth and he gladly sucks them until they’re clean and it feels so good along with his fat pressing into every inch of me. “You’re so fat. God, just look at you. You can hardly fit in this seat.” I’m breathing heavy too now and he wraps his arms around me, squishing my small body into his obese one. “Feel how fat you’ve made me.” He demands. “You did this to me. Look at me.” He’s so out of breath which makes me grind that much faster. “You’re going to get so much fatter. I promise.” I’m about to climax and he’s so fat and out of shape that he’s sweating and desperately trying to keep grinding and he climaxes just as I do. His breathing is more like panting “oh god, oh god, you’re so sexy.” I mumble, trying to catch my breath as well and still holding onto his huge love handles. “That’s you.” He slaps my ass and pushes me into him again. “So…you ready for some dessert?” I ask, referring to the pie we still have to deliver. “Ughhhh babe!” He moaned in protest. “I warned you that you’d regret teasing me.” I smiled wickedly and he kissed me hard. “My stomach’s going to regret it.” He breathed. “I’ll be the judge of that,” I grabbed it and lifted it to watch it plop back into his lap, making even his surrounding fat jiggle.

“Even though the business eventually failed, I view it as a success. My dad was an immigrant from the Dominican Republic. He’d take any job he could get just to keep food on the table. A lot of times our fridge was empty. There were nights when I only had $1 for dinner, and I’d have to eat nothing but Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. There was a hole in our roof, so we actually had pigeons in our house sometimes. So to come from that, and open my own store, and to get to see it thrive for a little bit— that means I made it. None of my friends ever did anything like that. Some of them are in jail now. I got to see my mom proud of me. I got to see my grandma proud of me. If the store had survived, that would have been another chapter. But the fact that it existed means that I made it out and I did something.”

Knees and Toes

@sixpenceee asked for our personal “glitch in the matrix” stories. 
(reposted with picture.)

      My grandparents lived in Dillon, South Carolina.  It’s a very small town, with an old, historic town square and miles upon miles of farmland.  It’s changed a lot over the years, but I can’t remember it any other way than what I saw growing up.  Since my parents and I lived in Columbia (about an hour and a half from their house), we often made trips to visit on weekends when my dad could manage to get time off from work.  

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Ok but the thing is I want Teen Wolf fics with BLENDED PACK

Not just season two pack

Not just season four pack

BOTH of them

TOGETHER

I want Erica and Malia bonding because they’ve both BEEN there, they’ve both been the outsider, the “sick” girl, the one no one knows what to do with, the harsh one, and Erica is ok with getting on the ground and wrestling with Malia and isn’t afraid to set her off or “Break” her so when one of them is upset they just go outside and spar with eachother

I want Issac and Liam not-so-subtlely fighting for Scott’s attention and Scott not understanding why they don’t get along

I want Allison training Mason to protect himself and bonding over being the “token humans” of the pack because Stiles is a spark now so they’re the only ones left

I want Boyd and Kira being the most unlikely buddies ever because they actually like the same comic books so Kira is the only one who Boyd really TALKS to- like no one in the pack knew he could ever talk THAT LONG without taking a breath- and Boyd is the only person who can get Kira to be quiet longer than a few minutes, Scott is mildly concerned because she hasn’t said anything in TWO HOURS but she’s reading with Boyd so it’s sort of expected

I want them all getting a key to Derek’s loft. Every. Single. One. and just coming and going as they please and Derek is 5000000% ok with it, Liam is having a fight with his dad? Ok, Scott is with Kira and Issac is lonely? Ok, Malia can’t stand being home but feels too awkward going to Stiles’ house when he isn’t there? Ok, all of the pack is welcome

Scott is still the Alpha but it’s sort of just an unspoken fact that Derek is Pack Dad because reasonably it’s too much to expect that the Alpha and the Pack Dad are the same person, that’s alot of pressure to put on one person, especially a teenager, Derek is fine with this, Scott can have the messy Alpha problems and he’ll take listening to Erica rant about Boyd’s snoring and Malia nagging him to do her hair for a party any day

Stiles is Pack Mom do not challenge me on this

Gigantic pack sleepovers, no one is alone on the full moon- ever, sometimes it isn’t even a full moon, it’s just a Saturday night and no one feels like being away from their pack, sometimes there are puppy piles and that started way more out of a “There’s not enough room” problem than an actual thing but it became an actual thing

Stiles enforces nutrition in this pack, doesn’t matter if he orders take out or cooks, he makes sure all of the pack babies have something healthy to eat atleast once a day, he also goes with Derek every Tuesday afternoon to get groceries because everyone complains that he has nothing to eat in the loft and they’re both sick of hearing it

The older pack members like Lydia teach the newbies how to do supernatural stuff without getting their parents involved/getting found out/losing their good grades

Pack vacations. Spring break, holiday break, summer break, the pack taking turns deciding who gets to plan their trip (Derek takes them camping, Lydia goes up to the mountains where all the snow is, Scott and Stiles collaborate to get everyone to the beach) and also obligatory road trips with two vans full and the drivers on walkie talkies to make sure both cars are on track and didn’t get lost, hint, Stiles and Derek are the drivers because they’re the only ones who LIKE driving that much (and also Stiles likes saying “Stop that right now or so help me I’m turning this car around” way more than he should)

Girl’s Nights Out and every girl- every single girl, even if they aren’t that close- goes out and bonds, sometimes they just go to Allison’s when her dad isn’t home and have pizza, sometimes Lydia forces them to go shopping, sometimes Kira takes them to this little clearing by the park and they have a picnic or star-gaze, one very memorable night Malia dragged them all out to the woods to go camping and Lydia tried to fake an emergency and leave three times because she couldn’t keep the bugs off of her

Pack sports games, like ok training is cool and all but what about big pack soccer matches? What about Stiles tresspassing onto the BHHS lacrosse feild with a soccer ball and having a very long “Rock, Papper, Scissors” match to decide team captains?

Movie night is always a headache because everyone is so different but every once in a blue moon they’ll find a movie they agree on and it’s AMAZING, they collectively decide to go to the midnight premiere of Magical Beasts And Where To Find Them because even Malia knew Harry Potter before the *ahem* incident

There is a chance Kira decides to try costuming and Lydia buys her the fabric to make Harry Potter robes with everyone’s house emblem on them

Stiles tries SO HARD to convince everyone to have a group costume theme for Halloween (it’s a two-month long argument on what they DO for Halloween because Derek is not hosting another blacklight party and Malia really wants to go trick-or-treating and Stiles wants to go to a haunted house and Scott just wants everyone to be happy) and even if he can’t get EVERYONE to agree he forces Derek into it atleast and it’s something nerdy and adorable

On Valentine’s Day everyone buys those little papper valentine cards in various designs (it all started with Stiles and his Avengers cards) and Derek ends up with a bunch of these little cards from everyone ranging from Avengers to baby animals to flowers to Disney princesses (thank you Kira) so he puts them all in a keepsake box with tons of random sentimental crap like movie stubs and the spoon Stiles bent during his spark training and the deflated balloon from Malia’s first birthday party and the “I Am Groot” button that Stiles gave him from his geeky grab bag from Hot Topic and laughed for a century when he did so

Everyone has that one type of food at Derek’s loft that is distinctly their’s, he would never buy herbal tea if it wasn’t for Lydia honestly and who knew Allison’s favorite treat was those Little Debbie cakes? Scott has an embarrassing chocolate addiction that Derek found out about when he found the tripple fudge moosetracks ice cream in his freezer

Pack Christmases where they go over to the loft as soon as they can to celebrate Derek’s birthday (that they only found out about because of Stiles) and it’s the first time since Laura died that Derek has celebrated his birthday and even Melissa comes over with a cake she made and it’s a little bit heart breaking that Derek looks THIS surprised

Melissa accidentally adopting the entire pack and now it’s not even a surprise when random teenagers turn up at work and ask when dinner is or ask for advice and sometimes they give her flowers for no reason except that they appreciate her, Mother’s Day is a massive event because there are very few people in the pack who DON’T give her flowers or chocolate or something and her co-workers start wondering when she adopted an entire foster home

Melissa subtlely checks in with Derek all the time because she doesn’t care if he IS 24 he’s still practically a child and she’s going to train him to come over for dinner atleast once a week if it’s the last thing she does

Derek starts keeping a first aid kit in the loft for the fragile humans

Stiles and Scott organize an effort to get Derek a puppy and they show up one day- it isn’t even a HOLIDAY- with this adorable lil’ puppy and Derek tells them all she’s “the pack’s dog” and no one believes him because that dog always gets the crispiest strips of bacon every morning

They develop a support network for eachother in case of non-emergency moments when someone needs help, maybe it’s insomnia or sleep walking or a panic attack or they’re having just a BAD night or just need to talk to someone but not their usual go-to confidant so they sort of organize a list of who’s up/who’s home at what time so no one runs the risk of calling and not being answered and so this leads to some odd match ups sometimes, Stiles says he’s usually up until like two in the morning so he actually gets the worst ones usually, one night Allison got a call from Mason, another Erica ended up calling Kira, Malia has actually ended up talking to Issac so many times that they’re sort of freinds now

They’re all so close by the time everyone starts graduating that they end up staying in Beacon County, Lydia had planned on going Ivy League but she’s “putting it off for now” to go to BHU, Allison travels alot and does alot of exchange programs but always makes sure to check in every week and comes back atleast once a month, Erica surprises absolutely everyone by going to the police academy and Kira surprises absolutely no one by coming up with her own company that does something really alternative like a make up studio or making special products for the supernatural and Stiles and Derek end up going in on a supernatural private detective/advice agency of some kind that they run out of the loft and they don’t make that much money from it but Derek actually does more real estate than anyone ever knew about and pays Stiles a salary anyway so they’re good, they road-trip ALOT because of it though, they get phone calls from random cities at all times of the day from people who have heard of them and need advice and it isn’t entirely unusual for them to have to drive out somewhere because someone’s kid just started howling at the moon, Scott and Liam end up becoming a vet and a nurse respectively and talk about their paitient woes all the time and sometimes Liam is mildly annoyed that Scott is comparing a cat having kittens on the exam table to the fact that he just had to help a woman give birth in her car because no, Scott, that is NOT the same thing and he sometimes would rather clean up the kennels than deal with kids puking on him so there’s also that

And WHY is it not a thing that the McCall-Hale pack grows all the time??? Why is it not a thing that omega werewolves and abandonded kitsune and all kinds of creatures from FAERIES- ugh Stiles can’t even believe that one- to VAMPIRES- Scott laughed until he realized they were serious- to YETIS- apparently “Bigfoots” are an insulting term- end up in their pack and their parents are endlessly concerned, bewildered, and amused all at the same time?? Why is it not a cohesive fandom decision that within another five years there’s an entire pool of people who have just integrated themselves into the pack?

I NEED Derek to wake up one morning, ten years after Scott was bitten, and smell pancakes and hear chattering and arguing and growling coming from the kitchen and try to discern who’s there this time, I need him thinking about the original members of the pack- like HIS betas- to the newbies who only started coming around a couple of months ago, to the kids- because there are KIDS in this pack now, not like teenager-kids (although those too) but you know, someone’s BABY is crying kids- and he sort of just gets up and remembers the last time he woke up in a house like this (he eventually had to give up the loft because apparently Stiles didn’t want to raise a family in a place where humans also live because they obviously adopt magical children and he doesn’t want the neighbors calling the cops because the babies are howling) and he remembers the last time was almost twenty years ago, the morning of the fire when he bemoaned it all, complained about it, asked his mother when some of these people were going to go back to their own homes, and she just laughed and said “That isn’t how packs work Derek” and now he’s hearing it all again and realizes, yes, this is how packs work