little danielle has a lovely face and is a pretty good actress

Secrets and Fun - Grant Gustin

summary : Grant asks you out on a date, but you think it’s just as friends. Later on that night you fid out that he likes you the way you’ve liked him and things get a bit heated from there.

word count : 3.6k +

warnings : nervous reader, nervous Grant, fluff, smut, fingering, heated make out session, little bit of cursing, unprotected sex, little bit more fluff.

pairing : grant gustin x actress!reader

prompt : “Hi! I love love love your imagines so so much, and if it’s not too much to ask could I request a Grant Gustin x Reader where they’re friends, but secretly have feelings for each other and finally he breaks down and tells her how he feels and it leads to some, ahem, “fun” later on? Thanks so much!!!” - anon

A/N : lol I feel like this is suupper long. Idk, but I hope you enjoy! :D

master list | requests | prompt list |

Originally posted by ireneknight

Grant Gustin has liked you for a while now, ever since you two were introduced on the set of The Flash during season two. It was now time to film season four of the DC show.

You weren’t big on the show, maybe a hero that would come up and every now and again, but with Grant’s character ‘Barry’ now gone, your character is now much bigger.

You and Candice sat in makeup, talking and getting ready for the new scene. You and Candice have grown close to one anther over the past few weeks, having many scenes together. One thing you two had bonded over was of course- Grant Gustin himself. Candice and Danielle would constantly tease you about having a crush on Grant, but every time they did you would deny any accusation, but of course they were right.

You did like Grant, but you knew it was wrong since you two were co-workers, friends. You couldn’t be anything more than that, or it would ruin your friendship. Even with Grant not filming as much anymore, he was still always on set.

“Y/N!” You heard your name being called from somewhere behind you. Looking in the mirror you saw Grant, the man of the hour, jogging up to you and Candice. From the corner of your eye you could see the actress smirking at you. You rolled your eyes, and got up from your chair to meet Grant. The brunette boy smiled at her, his dimples making your stomach tighten.

You shook off the feeling and smiled at him. “What’s up, Grant?”

He shrugged. “I uh- was just wondering if you wanted to maybe- um..” Before grant could finish his sentence you were called out onto set. She sighed as she looked at Grant.

“I’m sorry.” You said as you started to back up, “We can finish this when I’m done shooting!” You slightly yelled as you jogged off to where you were needed. Grant huffed. He just wanted to ask you out, but every time he was about to you two were interrupted.

He watched from behind the filming crew as you did your job. You were an amazing actress, and he was just happy he got to work with you. Before season four, you were hardly ever on set, maybe every once in a great blue moon to do a team up, but other than that you were always guess staring on Arrow or DC’ s Legends of Tomorrow. You were kind of all over the place.

Just about thirty minutes later you were done shooting the needed scenes for that time period and then started heading to your dressing room. Grant caught sight of you and jogged up to you.

“Y/N/N! Hey, we didn’t finish our conversation.” Grant said as he slowed his pace next to you. You turned your head a bit and smiled softly at him.

“Right, right, sorry. Continue.” You continued o walking.

Grant coughed slightly. “So uh- as I was saying, I was wondering if you’d maybe like to hang out tonight? With me?” Your heart started to beat faster. Was he actually asking you out on a date? Or was he just asking to hang out as friends.

Turning your head, you smiled and nodded. Maybe it was just a as friends, there was no way he actually wanted to go out with you… right? Grant’s face lit up though, a big, goofy grin stretching across his face. As he went to say something else you were pulled away by your hair and makeup artists, going to get ready for the next session of filming.


You weren’t done filming until 10:00 p.m. You had several wardrobe changes and makeup changes, but in between every break, you couldn’t get away long enough to go find Grant.

Maybe he left. You thought to yourself. As you were packing up, Candice came skipping over to you, smiling like an idiot. “You, me, clubbing all night.” She said all giggly. You groaned. You weren’t really in the mood for clubbing, and you weren’t even really sure if you and Grant were even still on for tonight.

Sighing you shook your head. ”I’m not really up for it, Candice. Plus, Grant I were supposed to hang out tonight, but I don’t even think e’s here anymore.” Candice smirked. “We were going to hang out as friends, Candice. I don’t even think he likes me the way I like him.” You sigh, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Oh no, I’m pretty sure he’s still here.” Candice smirked and nodded behind you.”Good luck.” She patted your shoulder before skipping away, giggling at her two favorite people finally ‘going out on a date’. You turned around to see Grant walking up to you with a single rose in his hands. You smiled softly, not being able to help the blush that crept up your cheeks. Grant stood in front of you, wearing a pair of blue jeans, and a nice t-shirt with a jacket over it. He smiled at you as he handed you the flower. You took it with a smile on your face.

Why was he doing this if you were just hanging out as friends? You wondered.

“Here I thought you had left, Mr. Gustin.” You chuckled softly. “I thought you left earlier.” You admitted.

Grant shook his head. “Nope, well I did, but to get you that rose. I was going to buy an entire bouquet but they’re so expensive.” He laughed softly, making you smile. The two of you walked out to where both of your cars were parked and sighed. “So, I was thinking maybe we could go get some ice-cream or frozen yogurt? And just walk around for a bit? I don’t know, I hadn’t actually planned this out all the way.” You laughed and nodded.

“That sounds great. Let me just put this stuff in my car and then we can walk to the frozen yogurt shop?” You said, unlocking your car and throwing your stuff inside. You grabbed some cash and then locked the car again, turning to  Grant. “Alright, let’s go.” You smiled. Grant nodded and the two of you started to walk down to the frozen yogurt shop. On the way there you two talked about the upcoming filming sessions, characters that may be coming into play, your lives outside of the show.

Grant had learned that you loved to read, but then again anyone could have guessed that since there is almost always a book on your chair or in your dressing room. You had also learned that Grant made his own YouTube videos. That was a surprise to you. Sure, you knew he could sing and everything, but you never would have guessed Grant Gustin would have a YouTube channel.

You and Grant walked into the Frozen Yogurt shop, the little bell chiming as the two of you walked in. There wasn’t anyone there, besides the employees of course, but you and Grant were the only customers.

Your eyes landed on the cups that would have the Yogurt in them. You walked over to them and picked out a medium sized cup. With the cups were different things that you could put onto the bottom of your cup. There were cookies, brownies, gram cracker crumbs, Teddy Grams, and Oreo bits. You put some Oreo crumbs on the bottom of your cup before walking over to the many machine’s that held the yogurt. (think ITop It). You put Vanilla, chocolate, and of course Oreo flavoring into your cup. Grant was just putting whatever flavor he liked into the cups. You chuckled softly before walking over to the rows of toppings. You decided to go with white chocolate chips and chunks of Oreo on the top.

Grant walked over to you, smiling. He had at least five different flavors in his cup. He puts loads of toppings on. Ranging from sprinkles, to different fruits. All you could do was laugh at him and his child like behavior.  It cam time to pay for your treats. You each weighed your cups, Grant’s obviously being the heaviest. Thankfully, if you had a cup over two pounds you got one cup free. You paid for yours, although Grant had argued that it was no big deal if he paid for yours, you still did t. The idea of someone else paying for your own treat made you a bit upset.

After grabbing a set of spoon you and Grant exited the shop and started your journey around town. The two of you ate you yogurt, smiling at one another when ever you’d catch the other staring at you.

“So, how’s being the new face of ‘The Flash’?” Grant asked, taking another bite of his frozen treat.

“It’s fun, a bit stressful, to be honest. But no one can take the place of Barry Allen.” You chuckled. “But it is fun.” You smile. “How does it feel to be on the sidelines?”

Grant shrugged. “A lot less stressful than being on camera 24/7, but I do miss it.” You nodded, understanding his feelings.

The two of you walked around town for a little while longer before deciding to head back to the car. As the two of you walked, Grant abruptly stopped, taking your hand and turning you towards him. You gave him a nervous look, wondering what his sudden action was about. He seemed nervous as well, his eyes kept glances back and forth from your eyes to your nose and to your nose to your lips. It only took you a short time to wrap your head around the fact that Grant was debating on kissing you. Gathering up your courage you closed the space between the two of you, you faces so close you could feel his breathe fanning your face.

Grant took your action as the ‘go ahead’ signal to kiss you. His lips fell onto yours quickly, in a needy, but passionate kiss. Your lips seemed to mold to his, as the two of you moved as one together. His hands fell to yours hips, holding you close to him as you held the back of his neck, keeping him close to you.

It only took a few more minutes for the two of you to pull away, breathing heavily with swollen lips. You hadn’t realized that you had your eyes closed the entire time, even when you had pulled away. Your Y/E/C eyes fluttered open, looking with Grant’s glowing green orbs. The two of you smiled softly at each other, still holding onto one another.

“I really like you, Y/N.” Grant breathed out. “Hell, I think I love you.” Your heart skipped a beat. Did he mean it?

You let out a heavy breathe, “Grant I have waited so long for you to say that. You have no idea how hard it was for me to see you and Candice acting like a couple. Kissing, hugging, holding each other. I wanted that to be me so badly. I wanted to say something but I didn’t want to ruin-”Grant quickly cut off your rambling with another kiss, making you smile against his lips.

“It can be you now, here, in real life.” He said softly. His hand brushed your cheek and you gently leaned into his touch. You nodded, accepting his words. He let out a happy breathe, his lips cracking into a smile. You couldn’t help yourself and smile as well, the sight in front of you making your heart swell. “I should probably take you back to your car, it’s getting late and cold.” Grant said. You frowned but nodded. You wanted to stay with him for the rest of the night.

You two walked back to where your car was pared, hands intertwined with one another’s. You were happy that the person you had lied for so long was finally yours. When you got your car you sighed, running a hand through your hair. You didn’t want Grant to leave you, you wanted him to come with you to talk and cuddle in your bed, to keep each other warm as you slept.

“Stay with me tonight.” You say quickly. Grant’s eyes widen. “I-I want you stay with me at my place tonight.” I stumble out. Grant’s silence worried you. Did he not want to stay at your place? Did he not want to take that big of a step so quickly? You quickly regretted saying anything, but when Grant nodded and smiled your worries seemed to wash away. You let out a relieved sigh. Unlocking the car you walked to the driver’s side and got in, starting up the engine and waiting for Grant to get in.

As you drove Grant kept his hand on your inner thigh, rubbing his thumb over the material of your clothes. You couldn’t stop the heat pooling your core. You wanted him so bad. Grant seemed to want you as well, since you could see his semi-hard on through his jeans. You picked up the speed, making it back to your home within minutes.

The two of you got out of the vehicle quickly, knowing that you both needed each other at that very moment. You fumbled with your house keys before unlocking the front door and pushing it open, rushing inside with Grant hot on your heels. When you closed the door, Grant had already pushed you against the wooden frame, his lips greedily pushing against yours. You moaned a little at the force of the kiss. Both yours and Grant’s hands tugged at each other’s clothes, ripping off your coats and then shirts. You kicked off your shoes, Grant following your motions.

“Jump.” Grant breathed out, lips ghosting over your ear. You did as told, jumping and wrapping your legs around his lower back. He caught you quickly, wrapping his arms under your thighs and pulling your clothed crotch onto his. You both moaned at the feeling of the smallest taste of friction. Grant walked the two of you up the stairs, finding his way to your bedroom. Once you two were in your room he dropped you onto your bed and sat up to take his jeans off. You quickly did the same, not wanting to waste anymore time.

Grant watched you, hypnotized as you slipped out of your jeans so easily. You blushed once you caught his gaze, your skin turning a light shade of red. He chuckled, crawling over you, laying you flat on your back. You mentally cursed yourself for not wearing a more colorful bra or underwear set, but then again you didn’t know this was going to happen. Grant’s hands grazed your sides, slipping under your bra and undoing the clip with ease. You were definitely surprised he had done that so easily, since everyone else had a much harder time.

Once Grant had dropped your bra onto the ground you absentmindedly covered your chest. Grant frowned, not understanding why you were being so self-conscious all of a sudden. His hands fell onto yours gently, moving your hands away from your chest. 

“You don’t have to cover yourself in front of me, Y/N/N. I think you’re beautiful.” Grant nuzzled his face into your neck, your Y/H/C hair being pushed to the other side. You couldn’t help but smile as he pressed gentle kisses along your neck and under your ear. He moved down, leaving a trail of hickies and  love bites down your chest. His lips latched around each of your nipples, swirling the hardening bud between his teeth for a few minutes before going over to the other one and repeating the process. When he felt like he was done with your nipples he moved further down South, leaving the same trail down your skin.

Grant looked at you, his eyes asking if he could take off your last piece of clothing. You nodded, sucking your bottom lip in between your teeth in anticipation. Grant slid two fingers through your wet folds, before pushing them deep into your cunt. You moaned out loud, slightly arching your back from the bed. Grant smirked, watching your facial expressions change every time he would curl his fingers inside of you.

You couldn’t take it any longer. You wanted Grant now.

When Grant slipped his fingers from inside you, you took the chance to flip your positions. Your body on top of his. A small smirk spread across his face as he watched you take over from there. You moved your hands down to his boxer briefs, slightly palming him through the fabric. He let out a low grunt, shut his eyes for only a second before looking at you again. You winked at the man underneath you before sliding his boxers off and throwing them with the rest of the clothes. His length was hard against your inner thigh, and the small feeling of your skin against his made both of you moan.

Not wanting to waste more time, you sat on your knees, thighs spread out over Grant’s crotch. You tugged at him a few times before pushing him into you. Grant’s hands flew to your hips, helping you steady yourself as you were lowered onto his cock. He stretched you out, filling you and molding your walls perfectly. After you had adjusted you started to move up and down his length, moaning every time he was pushed back into you. It felt amazing to say the least. His tip would hit your g-spot, causing the both of you to grunt or let out a string of curse words. His hands dug into your sides, or moved to your ass and grabbed handfuls of the soft flesh. You would no doubt have bruises in the morning.

Your pace picked up, your skin slapping down onto Grant’s with each thrust of your body. Your hands held tightly onto Grant’s biceps, giving you leverage as you thrusted your body onto him. He grunted your name over and over again,pulling your chest down onto his so he could meet your lips with his.  You moaned against his mouth, giving him the perfect chance to slide his tongue into your mouth. You let his tongue roam your mouth, massaging your tongue and running over every little crevice inside your mouth.

Neither of you were really vocal, you were to lost in the pleasure to even think of any words to say besides his name. When Grant realized that you were getting tired he flipped the two of you over again, hooking one leg over his shoulder and wrapped the other around his back. The new angle gave him a better opportunity to thrust deeper into your pussy.

You moaned loudly as he did so, thrusting quickly and roughly, seeming to go deeper each time he plunged back in. You thought you were getting to loud so you covered your mouth, biting the skin on your hand to try and quiet yourself. Grant moved your hand though, and held it above your head.

“Let everything out baby, I want everyone to hear how good I’m making you feel.” He groaned. You obliged, moaning and cursing each time you felt him go deeper or hit your sweet spot.

It didn’t take long for his own thrusts to slow and become sloppy. You knew he was getting to his end and he knew you were getting to yours.

“Fuck, Grant I’m about to cum.” You gasped. Grant nodded, locking his lips with yours before he stopped his thrusts, his cock twitching inside you as he came with a loud grunt against your lips. His orgasm set off yours, and the feeling of being so connected to one another amplified every thing you were feeling for him.

When your body relaxed, Grant slipped out of you and laid down next to you, running his hands down your hot flesh. You turned your head, smiling softly at him. He looked so handsome in the dim light, with his hair stuck to his forehead due to the seat that trickled down his face. You liked -no loved- the sight in front of you. he returned the smile, pulling your face to his and placing a small, but soft kiss onto your forehead.

“I love you Grant, I have for such a long time.” you whispered. You looked up at Grant through your eyelashes and blushed when he smiled down at you. Something about him made you feel all giddy and excited inside.

“I love you too, Y/N.” He mumbled. You smiled and gave him one last kiss before the two of you fell asleep in ach other’s arms.

anonymous asked:

Could you write me a grant gustin imagine we're the reader is apart of te flash cast but she is a really big actress who has been in Hughes shows and movies like teen wolf,the walking dead,big hero 6 ect. and she is grants celeb crush and has been for a while and she doesn't know until at a panel a fan asks who there celeb crushes are and he reveals its her and they eventually get together ( she is also good friends with the teen wolf cast since she was on the show ) sorry if its too complicated

I’ve got an exam that I should be studying for in about 30 minutes, but instead I choose to write. I’ve clearly got my priorities in check :D 


“Alright guys settle down! I know you love the cast, but let’s just chill for a moment,” the commentator chuckled, trying to calm the audience down the best he could. I wiggled in my spot next to Grant, waving at a few of the fans in the front row. “We’re going to be taking questions from the audience now so please line up if you want to ask something.”

“I’m scared for my life,” Grant whispered in my ear, making me giggle softly.

“You should be. These girls look like they want to molest you,” I winked, nudging his side playfully.

“Guys stop flirting!” Candice called from down the table, making us both pull away from our conversation and glare at her.

“I know you want me Candy but jealousy isn’t a good look on you,” I teased, laughing when she stuck her tongue out.

“Alright come on, pay attention you lot,” the commentator interrupted our banter, bringing our attention back to the audience. “We’re going to take our first question now.”

“Hellloooooo,” a young girl spoke into the microphone, making me smile. “First off, love you guys; couldn’t think of a better cast for the show!”

“We’re pretty darn fabulous aren’t we,” Tom joked, pretending to flick his hair over his shoulder.

“Exactly!” the fan giggled. “I’m sure the entirety of the fandom wants to know who your celebrity crushes are!”

“Pretty standard but every female can relate… Johnny Depp,” Danielle swooned, leaning her head on my shoulder.

“Oh my god yes!!” I squealed. “I don’t care how old he is, he will always be perfect!”

“He’s here today doing panels and stuff,” the fan spoke up excitedly.

“Imma track you down after the panel and we can all collectively go and stalk him and beg for a selfie,” I planned, causing the audience to scream.

“Haven’t you already met him though?” Grant asked.

“Well yeh, but you can never get to many selfies with Johnny,” I pointed out, poking his cheek softly.

“We all know who Y/N’s celebrity crush is,” the commentator piped up, making me look at him confused. “It’s obviously one of the boys from Teen Wolf. You hang around them more than you do your own family.”

“They wish,” I scoffed playfully, screwing my face up at the thought. “They’re all really good friends, pretty much the brothers I never had.”

“So you’re saying they’re on the table still for the fans?” he asked, gesturing towards the now excited audience.

“Yeh of course. I can hook y'all up,” I winked, causing the audience the squeal excitedly. “What about you Grant. Who’s your celebrity crush?”

“Do you really want to know?” he chuckled nervously, fiddling with his fingers in his lap.

“YES!!” the audience chorused, all leaning forward with their phones in hand, recording every moment.

“Well, she’s this really gorgeous and incredibly talented actress…” he gushed jokingly, placing a hand over his heart.

“Do we know her?” Candice questioned, resting her chin on her knuckles and raising her brows at Grant. almost as if she knew who it was.

“You’ve all probably heard of her,” he shrugged, smiling slightly.

“Jesus, just tell us who it is!” Danielle threw her hands in the air, obviously wanting to know who it was.

“Uh well, it’s Y/N,” he finally said, turning a bright red colour.

“OH MY GOD I KNEW IT! I CALLED IT! YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS TOM!” Candice squealed, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Hold on wait, I’m your celebrity crush?” I asked, covering the mic with my hand. He nodded, not looking me in the eyes. “Well that’s good, considering you’re mine.”

“Wait what?” his head shot up, staring at me in confusion.

“Yeh,” I shrugged. “You’ve been mine ever since we started filming.”

“Otp,” Danielle whispered, making me laugh.

“If you two could just kiss and start dating, that would be great,” the commentator chuckled, making us both blush.


The panel went on smoothly from there, with the fans asking their questions and Grant holding my hand under the table, meaning there was a permanent rosy blush on my cheeks for a majority of the day.

“Alright guys, you’re free for the rest of the day, so just chill out and don’t go to wild,” my agent smiled, patting me on the shoulder and giving me a knowing look, wandering off shortly after.

“I don’t know about you loonies but I’m going to get something to eat,” Candice rubbed her hands together, linking arms with Dani and stalking off to the food court.

“Uh Y/N… Can I talk to you for a second?” Grant grabbed my hand before I could follow the girls.

“Yeh sure,” I grinned, letting him lead me over to a more private part of the hallway. “What’s up buttercup?”

“I know this might be moving a bit fast and you have every right to say no, I won’t judge you..” he started, wringing his hands together nervously. “Will you go on a date with me tonight?” My eyes widened slightly, mouth opening and closing a few times. “I totally get it if you don’t want to.”

“I would love to,” I giggled, placing my hands over his and squeezing softly.

“Wait.. Really?” he asked, a smile breaking out on his face. I simply nodded, internally squealing like a little girl after her first kiss. “Oh my god, ok wow I didn’t think you would actually say yes.”

“Don’t feel pressured to take me anywhere fancy… Just being with you is fine,” I grinned, pecking his cheek. “Text me when you’re coming to get me yeh?” He nodded, still slightly starstuck by the fact that I had actually said yes. I chuckled softly at him, giving his hand one last squeeze before dancing down the hall, waving slightly over my shoulder.

Now You See Me 2 is a Ridiculous Movie and I love it

-It’s ridiculous, let’s just get that out of the way first.

-So ridiculous.

-So ridiculous that it hinges on a (kinda) evil twin, Daniel Radcliffe as a sociopath with a fish tank in his floor, and the worst bad guy plot in the world.  Seriously. Get a gun.  Shoot them.  Why are you not just SHOOTING THEM?

This got long, so…  Read on.  Only the most minor sorts of ‘spoilers’ included.

Keep reading

2

As you can see, we got two asks covering this worrisome spoiler (because – character assassination by tossing two years of development right out of the fucking window, anyone?) of Regina asking Sydney to “kill the one standing in the way of her happiness”, both expressing similar, valid concern. So we’re going to reply both at the same time, if you don’t mind. (A lot ;) So, waffle ahoy. ;)

Dear Anons,

These are both excellent questions and capture the full extent of our growing distaste with OUaT. I mean serious distaste. So thank you for making us feel a little less alone in our 70s inspired cocktail induced bubble of righteous anger and disgust. Cheers.

(First, disclaimer: Something I’m personally noticing a lot is this label used for Regina. You see, I’m really not sure that calling Regina white-washed is respectful. I understand your point though, and it’s all love and positivity here. (Also, imagine me laughing at my own jokes, so apologies in advance.) Because what you meant, I’m guessing, is that Regina is white-written how about that? So, can we start saying that on this blog, perhaps? When mixed-race actresses have to fight to have their characters reflect their actual ethnicity, the white writers can just push a dominant narrative anyhow because they don’t understand much about ethnicity or culture or cultural nuances. Adam and Eddy can’t write their way out of a paper bag, so capturing the nuances of positioning Regina as an actual descendent of the mixed-ethnicities of Puerto Rico, as well as Italy? On top of the fact that simply by hiring a WoC they believe to have achieved enough of a ‘representation’ without actually writing any of it into her character? Oh, now I’m laughing so hard I’m going to hurl. Laugh or cry, those are often our choices given to us by OUaT writing as of late, eh?)

Anyhow. It’s sort of interesting how the unpacking begins with a basic point about plot holes, that is: where on earth has Sidney been and why would he help Regina when she put him there, after all those years of loyalty? Then you start thinking why, when Regina has supposedly come so far, largely with Henry and Emma’s help and to some degree Mary Margaret’s help as well, why oh why would they sink her into this nasty, sexist, racist ‘triangle’? Then you start to realize, as our second Anon has realized, that they’ve pitted the only PoC on the show against one another in a sexist and heteronormative arc that I’m sure the white supremacists among fandom will argue is equality because hey, non-white people can be mean too! That’s equality, no?

{sounds of crickets. Can we insert a picture of a cricket to go with the sounds of crickets? Or Archie Hopper, at least?}

But basically, indeed. OUaT is a racist, sexist, heteronormative narrative, yes, don’t pull your punches, Anon. Our first and worst clue was Tamara’s death at the hands of the white man whose sympathetic rendering was accomplished first when parts of the audience who couldn’t stand his abusiveness left and secondly when the writers constantly made his man-pain all about the women who have wronged him. But let’s revisit the list, shall we? Ok, so, what if we started to really unpack the ways that racism operates in conjunction with sexism on OUaT? I think we’d get even further as a fandom. So…

SpittleMan: Invades Regina’s space, tries to use alcohol to ply her at all hours of the day, gives her heart away literally five seconds after she asks him (illogically, just because the writers made her) to babysit it, all after spit at first sight (which they don’t remember anyway, but hey, he 'saved’ her life, didn’t he?) So, why is all of this so beautiful and romantic? Because white supremacy and heteronormativity say that the white man has instant and total access to WoC at all times, at his whim, when he likes. His mistakes and his fumblings and his stupidity are really just signifiers of his total superiority anyway, so along come the SpittleMan-GorgeousQueen shippers (we are no longer honoring their ‘ship’ name because it’s an insult to thinking human beings) who pretty much reinforce this superiority.

RapeyHook: ABC types allowed his ‘fans’ to be called ‘hookers’, the sexist undertones so obvious there that we won’t even bother unpacking it. We’ll just hand out barf bags. Now, he has admitted to using booze to get his way with women which, in the United States of Freeeeee Ameeeerica, is often considered to be non-consensual sex which is also known as sexual assault. Again, he is the white male whose free and unhindered access to the women around him is a given. Come on, don’t question it! He knows you want it! Just say yes, already! As for what the hell that has to do with racism? Let’s insert some class analysis in here, since the racist system that Disney has upheld, is largely about ensuring that people stay in their place. Think there isn’t a class system in the freeeeeeeeeee Americaaaas? Think again! When poor African American communities started to create wealth and community for themselves, at every turn, the system turned on them. Blame the Beetles for destroying Motown, or, hey, blame the Prison Industrial Complex.

Poverty operates with whiteness to create a divide-and-conquer mentality, which OUaT is reinforcing, by hitching Emma’s horse repeatedly to Killy Willy rather than to Regina, with whom she might (ironically) share some genuine solidarity. Now, Regina’s rather incredible apology for doing what she did to Emma’s life was graced with forgiveness in a now infamous and deleted (or discarded, whatev) hug, which the actresses saw as incredibly important – but which the white dudes controlling the writers’ room and editing booth and probably the gaming systems in their basement dens, felt the need to erase from the face of the planet. Do we even need to ask why?

Rumps: Now, sympathy has sure grown for this guy, but let us not forget the origins of his story and let us not allow Killy Willy to take advantage of the lapses of memory that the writers of OUaT tend to encourage. Ok, now list all of what Rumps has done. Mull it over. Feeling a little ill? Especially at that scene when he physically abused his current wife? I sure am.

Charming: A good guy. A good guy so when he manhandled Regina, it was for her own benefit. Charming isn’t generally a sexist dude, but the little arc that showed him and Daniel (zombified and dead Daniel) choking Regina out?

Well.

At day’s end, what they do to Regina is a drawn out teaching about the intersections of race, gender and sexuality. What they do by throwing Emma into her world adds class to the mix as well. So what’s sort of weird right now (well, for us here anyway) is that we can imagine a good quick set of fixes for all of this. Not fixes that erase the problems but twists that quickly reveal the underlying problems to a now shrinking audience. I saw a petition online recently, calling for other Oncers (Wtf is a Oncer anyway? That sounds like a cult, btw.) or drones or whatever you want to call yourself if you swallow every single word that Adam types on his wittle Twatter and follow ‘canon’ strictly because you’re just so much smarter than people who want something better with their Sunday glass (or bottle) of wine than rape culture and racism, anyway, to actually write to ABC to ‘Save OUaT’. Well, how about some fixes that might ‘Save OuAT’ for reals?

Aside from banishing 9000 year old rapist named Killy Willy (because if there’s no Emma-skirt to chase, he has no other purpose anyway), and sending Spittle Man off with his attractive little family (because, well – what other purpose does he have?) and forcing Rumps to face his bad habits somehow, the narrative could turn all of these racist, sexist triangles on their heads. Regina and Emma could choose solidarity as co-parents and moms, and the writers could show Henry with Regina from time to time, eating dinner, arguing about socks on the floor, etc, and all of this swirling awfulness could become a kind of PSA about the power of mothering. Sort of like the end message of Kill Bill. Bill dies, and in doing so, apologizes for what he did to The Bride who becomes named again, according to her own name, not defined by marriage, and the closing line is about a mother lion being with her cub again or something like that, and all being right in the jungle and so on.

Anyway, the point is – Regina, Emma, co-parents, Henry. It’s a much more powerful narrative than we might realize at the moment because we’re all so distracted by Kills and Spits, but honestly, that little family ties up ALL of these narrative issues and plot holes and even addresses the classism, racism, and sexism and all other isms that have generally existed in the show until this point. And puh'lease future anons, don’t talk to us about redemption arcs for 9000 year old rapists, because by the by, we do not share Jane Espenson’s optimism that male violence can be cured through heteronormativity and the fawning of a good woman.

So yes, we agree with both you, dear Anons. Sending all of the show’s limited numbers of PoC off into a tub of oatmeal to wrestle for white viewers’ spectatorship is gross and obscene, and completely and utterly – irredeemable. 

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