little balls of nastiness

our tendency to do something despite knowing the outcome (like building a house of cards with your friends just knowing that one of those idiots is going to blow it down) and not even being that surprised at the result like honestly??? i knew at some point that book was going to fall of the pile after i put it there it was just a matter of time. what do you mean move the book before it falls or put it in a position where it wont tip over? what kind of organised human being does that???????

so now imagine your standard multi-species deep-space exploration voyage. humans were the last species to join the federation, and not much is generally known about them. there are countless studies documenting their weird tendency to pack bond and attempt to socialise with nearly every lifeform; some you have witnessed first hand, like your human Darren trying to communicate with a sylophod, a nasty, potent little ball of coarse fur with a bite that could stun even the largest of earth’s land-based mammals by attempting to stroke it while crooning “tribbles….cute blue tribbles in space”, others you have only heard of through transmission chatter and rumour, like the story of a human in an expedition party of 12 different species discorvering sentient life on a new planet and having war declared on the federation in the space of a few cronents. the studies detailing the humans wide emotional and psychological ranges always fascinate you the most, despite the engaging reports of their social aspects, you’ve always found the individual experiences more interesting. especially the ones about odd behaviours.

such as humans repeating actions with the same consequences. objects in the mess hall tend to fall over quite frequently due to their proximity to the Garln’s sleeping quarters, so every other lifeform knows that anything precariously placed will certainly not stay that way–except for the humans on the crew–it appears they are the only ones ignorant of this. you observed human Darren rush into the mess hall once, a large stack of papers in his arms, and hurriedly place them onto the corner of the nearest table, and despite picking several pieces from the floor and slapping them back on top of the pile, he did not move the stack as he began logging data. over the course of five cronents, the vibrations from the sleeping quarters began shuffling the papers closer and closer to the edge of the table until half the stack slid to the floor–the human Darren simply picked the papers back up and continued logging–several times. any other species would have moved the stack away from the edge of the table, rather than continuously have their work interrupted.

other times you have witnessed the humans performing tasks that are…extremely absurd, and yet they know the outcome. once you walked onto the communications deck to find the human Elizabeth constructing a triangular configuration out of thin segments of paper, stacking them impossibly higher and wider whilst the humans Darren and Alex watched on, both quietly uttering in their earth tongue of english “stay….staaaaay…” and proceeding to cheer when human Elizabeth was successful. human Elizabeth then stood and, without noticing her own actions, placed an appendage the humans refer to as a ‘hand’ too close to the construction, destroying the entire thing. none of the three humans appeared to be upset by this; it was as if human Elizabeth had scattered segments of paper across the floor. when you approach her some time later and ask her about why none of them had been upset by the destruction of her creation she replied “it was always going to fall over, but i like to make a house of cards every now and then.”

humans do the weirdest shit, even when they know the outcome.

My college is doing a seminar on “Environmental Racism” for earth day.
Did you know that the earth is racist? Neither did I.
The earth is a nasty little ball of hate, guys. The fricken trees hate POC. Nazis.