Sigh

I just wanna be held while I cry. I want someone to tell me everything will be okay and that life will go on. That I matter and they care about me. Why is it so hard for that? Why is it so hard for people to stay and keep a freaking promise when they were supposed to be your best friend?! Why is it so freaking hard to treat people right for once?!

*TREACHEROUS*

I tied my hair with a ribbon,

Put my rosy lipstick on.

Was excited to finally see you,

I promised myself to have fun like never before.

Fairytales teach us,

To follow your beating heart,

Yet I know it’s usually,

Treacherous.

This time was no different,

And I feel like I lost my friend,

Who was meant to guard me,

But Instead he put out the fire to an end.

Fairytales teach us,

To follow your beating heart,

Now I’m sure it’s always,

Treacherous.

baby,

where can i ever start. 1 year ago i was unsure of love, what it was, or meant. if i’d ever find it. if i was meant for it. you know the story behind that with my ex but before i met you i’ve never felt lots of feelings as deeply as i have with you. i’ve had lots of thoughts that i’ve never had before. i was content with being single because that seemed to be going okay. but then in the unlikeliest of places, i find you. i’ve never been in a place like that, never will again. you caught my eye immediately with your shy behavior. you were the cutest thing there, and still the cutest thing around. if someone would’ve told me that noone except their significant other is attractive to them a year ago i would’ve been confused at the least. i don’t know what i would would think, but i wouldn’t particuarly believe them because it seems silly. noone, no model, actress, any girl i’ve seen in my life compares to you. you’re what girls aspire to be, i know we both sometimes struggle with self esteem but you are it. the perfect girl. not only mine but i’m sure plenty of other guys/girls perfect girl. you could have anyone but chose me, and sometimes i forget how special that is, and when i think about it i can’t explain the feelings. they’re good. i’m special to have been chosen by you. you’re the best most charming, radiant, supportive, remarkable, compassionate human i’ve met. i’ve never trusted someone like you, i’ve never loved someone like you. it might’ve seemed silly to me a year ago thinking i’d love someone more than my family so quickly but i do, and can’t wait to start a family with you. as cliché as it sounds, you are the light in my life. you’ve kept me going in times of doubt. you’re all i need. it’s been 10 months today. it feels like 1, maybe two. i need to slow down and enjoy this. the first year together with my future wife (if you eventually say yes.) i want to try everything i haven’t done with you. i can’t wait to create more memories with you. i want to start my life with you. i want to start our family. i’m starting to learn patience with that as i am enjoying our relationship more than anything in my life before, but at times it seems impossible to wait. i could use every nice adjective i could think of, but they still wouldn’t do you justice. this is about to be super cheesy but i can remember a boy meets world quote that can describe you well. if i had to dream up the perfect woman, she wouldn’t come close to you. i didn’t know people could be as good as you before i met you. i’m going to stop rambling and go back to sleep so i can wake up with you in the morning. have a good day at school, i know you are going to do great with the tests because you’re the smartest person i know. i love you. i love you. i love you. you are everything. happy 10 month anniversary babybat.

lovingly yours, forever,

daddy