literarylibido

literarylibido  asked:

Have you seen Stephen Colbert's explanation of the new light saber? Lol

Yes.  Actually, I originally assumed that was the design after I saw the trailer.  I then disreguarded it because:

A) If it was the same plasma stream, I don’t  understand why there would be any noticeable time delay between the blade and crossguard

and

B)  The opponent’s light saber could hit the metal and either still destroy the entire mechanics of the connected hilt, or at least shatter the metal bands surrounding the crossguard (and why would that metal band even be there if it wasn’t necessary  for the crossguard stream to form?  what function does it serve?)

If we take the best case, latter scenario, then broski would be fighting with a crossguard with literally no safe place to brace against.

and

C)  Light sabers are supposed to be a weapon of finesse, that one can only truly master by mastering the Force.  Claymores were never this.  Claymores were always a brute force weapon.  This is a more finicky point, but I still think it bears mention.

and

D)  YOU CAN STILL STAB YOURSELF WITH THE CROSSGUARD

Please don’t get me wrong.  I am sure JJ will show this laser fucking claymore perform lots of badass fighting that conveniently never shows these logical flaws.  And this will be the least significant way  in which JJ fucks up yet another beloved sci fi franchise.

Because I am pretty sure this movie will have characters.