literally the weirdest person ever

Let’s just see this one through together, alright?


happy valentine’s day mothafuckas ;)

  • i love jeon jungkook are u bitches ready
  • you first met jungkook when you heard the sound of a moving truck beep its way into the driveway next to yours 
  • now u were always a child of adventure 
  • ur parents worked a lot so it was basically u at home with ur grandparents and they were the most chill motherfuckers on the face of the planet
  • and the front door of ur house always seems to be unlocked so u were the poster boy/gal of “adventure is out there!!!”
  • cue me ugly crying that movie kills m e 
  • u loved the outdoors and being adventurous 
  • u were so tomboy and reckless it was hilarious
  • u drove every single member of ur family insane 
  • they got called into school one time to u staring at the ground in the principal’s office next to a kid with a missing tooth and bloody nose 
  • “he tried to hug me” 
  • to summarize, u loved causing trouble, but have fun in the midst! 
  • and yes, meeting new ppl!!
  • and at dinner, u would hear ur grandpops and grandma talking abt the couple moving in next door 
  • and how they have also have a 6!! year!! old!! son!!
  • and u could barely keep ur head on the pillow that night bc omg! you can’t wait to have a new friend the same age as u! 
  • so on that beautiful sunny saturday morning, at exactly 7am sharp, with ur scabby knees, bruised legs, ripped shorts, mismatched socks, run-down light up sneakers, and ur older brother’s hand-me-down power rangers sweatshirt, you marched on over to the driveway to meet your new best friend
  • and u see a middle aged man and a beautiful woman trying to carry in a couple boxes together and u guessed those were the parents 
  • and as u were marvelling at how pretty they were, “man, if they look that good, how good does their son loo–”
  • u have no idea what came over u but u almost tripped over the tall weeds trying to get into the truck and find the source of the voice 
  • you went straight to the yellow, flower-y sofa resting in the middle of the truck, with little boy limbs sticking out from under the cushions
  • u ran up and ripped them away and low and behold, u laid ur eyes on the most beautiful 6 year old there ever was 
  • and from then on, ur heart decided to plant its FUCKING BOTTOM with jungkook forever
  • from the first day he met u he literally believed u were the weirdest person he’s ever met 
  • but without a doubt, you became childhood friends 
  • like best friends
  • u saw him naked for the first time when u were 8 and just bursted into his shower at like 8am in the morning 
  • “omg it’s so smALL?”
  • he didn’t speak to you for two weeks after that 
  • your grandparents would always have him over for dinner 
  • you guys played make believe together and took naps in ur power ranger blanket together 
  • but it’s also a lot of bullying 
  • taking turns making ugly faces, whoever laughs first has to go and tell ur grandma they pooped their pants and needs help changing it 
  • “accidentally” slapping each other SUPER hard in the face
  • “you had a fly on ur cheek sorry!! couldn’t help it!!”
  • literally the purest and most innocent friendship ever ever ever 
  • everyday in first grade, when you had reading time, he would be in the seat behind you and fold a tiny little paper plane with a sticky note and throw it at you 
  • would keep folding them and throwing it at you until you noticed and turned around and yelled at him and got in trouble by your student teacher 
  • “i hate u jeon jungkook” 
  • you didn’t really
  • but it wasn’t until the third or fourth time he kept doing it that you realized there was a message on each of them 
  • and they weren’t really anything cute
  • they were just like 
  • “hey notice me”
  • “your hair looks greasy from the back” 
  • “what book are you reading”
  • “don’t ignore me”
  • “am i being annoying?”
  • “yea? good.”
  • but your favourite was
  • “i’m glad you’re in my class” 
  • because he would rarely ever show affection to you because your relationship was made up a lot of the “we don’t need to say anything to know it”, meaning you never needed to straight out express your gratitude to each other for the other to know that you’re appreciated 
  • main point is you grew up together 
  • however, after like the fourth grade
  • you both somehow decided that you were too cool for each other despite the fact that your crush on him was still there 
  • there was something so mesmerizing about the fact that 
  • he never truly ever demeaned you as a person??? like yes he was a tease and you guys always did those things to each other
  • but for a kid, he was always somewhat of a gentleman and would never make fun of you to deliberately hurt your feelings 
  • unfortunately doe, in middle school, your group of friends completely changed
  • and although you guys sort of had the same status in school of being popular but very, very laidback, and your groups of friends acquainted with one another, your interactions would be saying hi, making small talk when you were with a handful of other people and smiling at each other as you pass by the halls 
  • back then, you would walk home together every single day and spend time doing homework in the bedroom of one of you two 
  • but as the grades went on and the workload increased, you found music and student council and volleyball whereas he found track and basketball and dance
  • his family went through troubles and he found it difficult to talk to people at times 
  • and you were so busy with finding a job and saving up for post-secondary that you spent after school with your clubs or in the library studying
  • timing and interests for you guys were extremely unparalleled and eventually, things just grew apart before high school began 
  • and oh dear
  • high school
  • periods? check. acne? check. hormones? check. grOWTH SPURTS? check.
  • now, reader, entering high school, you only had one rule: forget. about. jeon. jungkook.
  • and it wasn’t like he was being a dick or anything to you, you just didn’t find any way that you guys would work out anymore
  • despite being best friends and literally showering together when you were 7 and your parents are best friends, you just never ever have proper conversations anymore, and things just naturally got awkward
  • and also life lesson for u guys omg so philosophical what it wasn’t anyone’s fault, you guys just happened to no longer have the same interests or the time to notice each other anymore - people drift apart. it happens. 
  • and you were so okay with coming to terms with that 
  • until
  • “oh my gosh is that jeon jungkook?”
  • “he… grew muscles?”
  • “giRL HIS HAIR”
  • “puberty hit him like a freight train???”
  • the morning of sophomore year, after a whole first year of properly avoiding him and being absolutely sure that he wasn’t going to get hot (jungkook is juST A LATE BLOOMER OK LEAVE HIM ALONE), you turned your head to the front doors and felt the wind get knocked out of you 
  • bc walking in with his friends, with the school uniform seemingly perfectly snug and hugging every one of his curves
  • was jungkook
  • and for some reason
  • yes he looked more mature and yes he got fucking MANLIER
  • but you were instantly reminded of something that clicked in you when you saw that 6 year old boy stuck in the sofa on the very first day he moved in next to you
  • was it that innocence? was it the charm? was it the hair-swept-away-from-face thing? you diDN’T KNOW 
  • but girl you were gone again 
  • and listen 
  • you dated people in freshman year and guys liked you, but you were never the type to chase or to fawn
  • you were just different from other girls like you would much rather be the type to be the one playing ball than the one in a miniskirt cheering on the team on the sidelines
  • that’s just who you are, heck you fucking punched a dude that wanted to hug you and say thank you, broke his nose and chipped his tooth like kk y/n
  • it was just difficult for you to grasp feelings, truly, but for some reason, this guy has just got you so weak???
  • and for some other reason, jungkook and the reminder and memories of you guys as kids just hits you like a truck and you’re already head over heels once again
  • and you go into first period to shake off the thought of him but ofc!!! he’s!!!! in!!!! ur!!! first!! period!!! literature!!! ihml!!!
  • so you take the seat diagonally in the front of him to make sure you don’t get sidetracked in ur favourite class and drool at him the entire time
  • oNE DAY
  • you were taking notes from the board, analyzing and reviewing the literary device and short stories before delving into the actual stuff in literature when you dropped your pencil and leaned down to grab it 
  • when you saw an arm reach down first 
  • and hand it to you 
  • you looked up 
  • and you guessed it 
  • biTCH IT WAS JUNGKOOK AND he had such a warm and friendly smile 
  • and you could barely say anything 
  • because on one hand you were like oh i’m glad he still remembers who i am??? like ffs? but your other side is like oh my god oh my god oh my god 
  • so weeks go by and every single day you feel such a burning sensation at the back of ur neck like fufufufuffufufu he’s RIGHT THERE
  • and jungkook isn’t that type to be extremely boisterous and loud and obnoxious even if he’s hot shit 
  • so you weren’t worried about him bothering you whatsoever after that like that was a fluke, he was being nice, whatever, it’s done 
  • a couple weeks go by and you’re starting to feel better now, thinking you’ve got this crush thing under control
  • until
  • silent reading time 
  • you were just assigned a new book by your favourite author! and you couldn’t wait to begin the book reports on these 
  • so you dove into the world of fire-breathing dragons and mystical knights and creatures beyond reality
  • when you felt a poke on your neck
  • and you had no idea what it was? you were so engulfed in the story that you just scratched and left it, not thinking twice
  • and then you felt it again
  • it took you a second, but it hit you
  • and it hit you hard
  • you turned your head around slowly and your heart was beating so fast
  • your eyes fall on a small pink sticky note, folded into a plane, dropped on your shoulder
  • so you open it, careful to make no noise in the silent classroom
  • and on the single sticky note it read:
  • “it’s good to see you again. i’m so so glad you’re in my class.”
  • you sneak a tiny glance back at the boy behind you, your face flushing with heat and memories 
  • and from behind his book, he looks up and gives you the tiniest, warmest smile you’ve ever received 
  • you folded the paper once more and fit it in your pocket and returned to your dragons and knights and witches, all the while smiling like a fool to yourself because maybe, just maybe, you didn’t really drift apart that much at all 

hi guys!! so sorry for the late update, hope you enjoy thisssss:)

also side note: just because it’s valentine’s day (i mean i dont celebrate this) doesnt mean that you need a significant other! buy yourself some hershey’s, make some tea, snuggle up with a teddy bear and a blanket, and switch on some netflix. today is any other day, so don’t demean yourself and your experience with this day because of your status! 

alsoooo don’t wanna get a little preachy but, in this au i kind of hint at the fact that the y/n or reader is someone very tomboyish and doesn’t really seem to find herself chasing after boys. in no way am i trying to vocalize the fact that just because you’re of a certain nature, your personality towards boys reflects that. this is just a fictional work of how one might feel (presumably me lolz) when realizing feelings for someone they truly loved at one point. just because a woman who is normally tougher on the exterior has a sudden soft spot for a boy does not indicate that she’s lost sense of herself or that she succumbs to a boy. just because a woman is a certain way because of a boy that makes her feel different doesn’t mean she is any less of a woman herself. everyone is obligatory to their feelings, and how women choose to express themselves sexually or emotionally to a man they love is their own personal choice as long as they are within consent and are safe. everyone’s decisions and behaviours in love are consensual and their own - that does not demean them as a feminist in any way, shape or form. remember that. 

have fun, y’all, uSE PROTECTION, and i love u!!!

So, I’ve never written Sprace before, but @do-you-ever-really-crash asked me to write based on this

Spot Conlon wasn’t much of a romantic - that was a well-known fact. He didn’t care for Valentine’s Day, or romantic movies, or even flowers; those things were just so fake and weird. Romance was weird. Like you just opened yourself up to someone and showed them everything - the good, the bad, and the absolutely horrifying? Who the fuck did that?

Well, Kath and Sarah did, but that was because they were an actual healthy couple. Spot didn’t really understand that concept, but if Katherine and Sarah were happy, who was he to judge?

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Chapter 5

Dog Sitter Masterpost

The week to follow has had even more milestones.

This was made clear when Tom and I covered Harry’s toilet in saran wrap.

It is now known that I am on Tom’s side and there has been retaliation by the brothers; which Harrison is a part of.

Tom and I were trying to keep on our toes and it seems the brothers think I’m too clever to trick because their prank back was only on Tom.

“Tom! Tessa’s doing a shit on your bed!” Harry shouted from my room.

“W-what!?” I could hear Tom from another part of the house.

“And I don’t want to touch it! She’s doing a shit on your bed!” Harry immediately stifles a laugh.

“No way!” Tom shouts.

Oh yeah. I’m in on this one. Maybe I’m playing both sides.

“Tessa, stop!” Sam yells.

“Tessa!” His voice is closer.

From my view Harry is standing on the other side of Tom’s bed, Sam is sitting at the end of it, Harrison is standing by the bedroom door with his phone up and he’s recording, and Paddy is sitting on my bed next to me trying his best not to laugh too.

“Tessa!” Harry shouts again.



Right into a line of saran wrap that was taped face height across the doorframe. Now it was around Tom’s neck as he groans on the floor.


The room is in a roar of laughter.

“You dick.” Tom groans into the floor.

“Does that hurt?” Harry smiles.

“Not really, but-“

“Yeah, I know it hurts…” Harry walks around Tom’s bed and slaps his ass on his way out of the room, “from experience.”

Tom immediately turns and rubs his eye, “You twat!”

I’ve also decided that there is no way that I can actively keep tabs on everyone and their activities so I just ask that my calendar is updated by everyone so I can see what days I might need to plan more stuff for Tessa.

So far there are a lot of rehearsals for Dominic, photography for Mrs. Frost and Harry, Harrison is always where Tom is, and Sam and Paddy have a few things thrown in too.

So far there’s only been a couple days where I have been alone, but Tessa doesn’t seem to mind when it’s just us.

If I’m not alone usually Tom or him and Harrison will hang out with me while we walk Tessa.

I’ve also decided that Tom is probably the literal weirdest person I’ve ever known.

When I first met both Tom and Harrison it seemed like their playful bickering was pretty even, but now I can see it is much more Harrison picking on Tom and what he does.

Harrison’s favorite thing is to make fun of Tom when he’s singing.

He’d say things like, “Wow! You should go on Britain’s got talent!”

Interestingly though, even though he does seem genuinely embarrassed sometimes, he has always sung around me.

At first I’d hear him in another room humming to himself.

Then I’d hear him singing as he was showering.

Then he started to mumble as we were on our walks.

Now it is all the time and it’s always pretty random and has no specific reason.

One night I asked him about it.

“Hey, Tommy.” I asked.

We had taken our now usual nightly spots where I’m on my stomach reading and he is sitting on his bed on his phone.

“Yeah?” He pulls an earbud from his right ear.

“You really like to sing, huh?”

He doesn’t answer right away. “It’s fun, yeah. Why?” He takes his other earbud out and sets his phone to his side.

I sit up and shrug.

We are both quiet a moment.

“So let’s do the questions things again. We’ve known each other for another week and I think we can get to some deeper questions.”

“Deeper or more pervy?” I ask as I slide a torn piece of newspaper into my book to keep my place.

“You want to ask me pervy questions?” he laughs to himself.

I can tell he’s trying to wiggle his eyebrows at me, but it kind of looks like he’s trying not to sneeze.

“You don’t?”

This stops his laughing. “Okay, you go first then.” He sits up straight not looking comfortable at all.

“Calm down, Tommy.” I lift my book and set it on the small table that is near the end of my bed. I pull my black cardigan over my shoulders.

We’re both in our sleepwear.

Tonight, for me, this is a baby pink spaghetti strap with black shorts. I usually keep a jacket on until I get under my blanket because the nights are freezing.

For Tom he usually just sticks to black, day or night. This night he’s in red plaid pajama pants and a plain black shirt.

“We’re friends… right?”

Tom nods, still quiet.

“So, that interview about your first kiss… is that true?”

“True that I made out with a girl and it was awesome?” He raises his eyebrows in shock as if I would be questioning his story. “Of course I did.” He puffs out his chest and smiles as he closes his eyes.

“Well then.” I laugh. “Your turn.”

He laughs and sits normally again.

“Have you ever kissed a girl?”

“Oh, psshhh, yeah!”

His eyes are wide; possibly at my answer or at how I answered.

“My turn!-“

“No, no, no. I need more info!” he leans forward on his bed.

“Would you date a fan?”

His focus is pulled away from my answer slightly as he thinks about his own answer. “I mean, sure. I wouldn’t say no just because she knew about me before I knew about her…”

I push my bottom lip out and nod.

“So when did you kiss a girl?” He looks almost hungry for my answer.

“Wow… what would your fans think if they saw you like this?”

He waves his hand in the air to dismiss my question.

“I had a girlfriend in high school. We had different goals and when we graduated we just, went our separate ways.”

I expect Tom’s smile to drop because of my boring story, but he looks sad.

“Have you been able to talk with her at all?”

“Not your turn!” I smile. “Have you ever seen Harrison naked?”

He immediately laughs. “I have not. But he has seen me.”

“Ooooo. That’s got to be an interesting story.

Tom tongues his cheek and winks.

“So… have you been able to talk to her since you parted ways?”

I shrug and look at my red blanket as I pass my hand over it lightly. “We’ve talked a couple times, but like I said. Our goals just really were so different.”

He nods and I can tell he’s keeping his questions for his turn.

“How many times a week do you masturbate?”

“BUBBLES!?” Tom’s mouth hangs open.


“You can’t just straight up ask a man about that!?”

“So, it’s a lot?”

“What are you- I don’t- Pass.”

“You can’t pass!” I throw my pillow at him.

“That’s like a level 10 question and we are like, a level 7.”

“Awe, I’m just a level 7 friend…” I try my best to give a puppy dog pout.

“Definitely.” He laughs.

I guess I’m not going to get that answer, at least tonight. “Okay. I’ll ask some level 7 questions…”

His cheeks are still red.

“How do you use the restroom when you’re in the Spider-Man suit?”

His answer comes so quick I almost don’t have time to even finish asking.

“You don’t.” He starts laughing. “There was one time my mum said she’d call to complain because I told her I went like hours without the toilet.”

We both laugh and he lets me ask a few more questions about him being Spider-Man.

“What is the craziest thing that’s happened to you with a fan?”

“Ahhhh. That’s a good one.” He thinks while taking a swig from his water bottle. “One of the last cities of our press tour for Civil War there was this panel and I was there with Chris and Robert and a few others and I don’t think any cameras caught it and we all tried to keep pretty straight faces, but I swear to God a lady in the middle of the crowd flung her Spider-Man panties onstage. Oh my God, Robert would not let me live that down.”

A few questions later we have shifted on our beds.

In the middle of explaining another thing about Civil War Tom stands and pushes his bed closer to mine with his knees, fully closing the gap between them.

He then crawls into the now single bed and lays sideways, his top half on my red and his lower half on his blue; propping his head up with his elbow beneath him.

I do the same so we are facing each other just a couple feel apart.

There’s a lull in conversation and then Tom asks, “Are you in a relationship?”

I shake my head. “Nope. There was this guy I worked with that I’m pretty sure liked me, but when you’re moving across an ocean… I didn’t want to get too close and give him false expectations.”

“So you like him too?” He asks, but isn’t looking at me. He’s following the stitches on my red blanket with his pointer finger.

“I think he was a nice guy, but I’m not interested in anyone right now.”


“Oh- what?”

“Just oh.”

We are both quiet and then he yawns.

“You should probably sleep. Aren’t you meeting Harrison early tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” He says again, still tracing the pattern in the blanket.

“You okay?”

He rolls to lie on his back. “Can I keep the beds like this? I’m too lazy to move them back.”

“Spider-Man is lazy? Can’t ya just web ‘em?”

He smiles and shuffles so he’s laying on just the blue side. He pulls his blanket up which takes a bit of mine too.

“In a week we’ll have to do level 9 and 10.”

“Why both?” I ask as I slip my legs underneath the blanket.

“Haz and I will be flying to L.A. to start filming.”

“You’re leaving? Filming what?”

Tom lies down, but I’m still sitting, looking down at him.

“Since we are technically level 9 now I’m trusting you to keep a really big secret.”

His seriousness is so sudden, “We are starting to film the new Spider-Man movie.”

Then suddenly I wanted to smile and frown and laugh and cry and I felt like my heart was beating in my throat and lungs were trying to push out from between my ribs.

I think Tom could tell because he sat up and put his hand on mine.

“You okay?”

“I just didn’t think you’d be leaving so soon.” I tried so hard to keep the tears in.

Most of my time was spent with Tom. Even since I was still by my mom’s side, he was there.

I’m pulled out of my daze when Tom squeezes my hand.

“It’ll be alright, Bub. When my family isn’t busy they’ll be here with you. And Tessa loves you, she really does. I’m actually kind of jealous at how fast she was into you.”

I can’t help but smile and Tom releases my hand to lie down again.

“We both need some rest. We have another week and after that…” His voice trails off as he looks around as he sits up slightly. “Where is your phone?”

I look around and it had slipped onto the floor. I unlock it and hand it to him.

“I’m going to add my personal accounts so we can keep in touch. I don’t have a  secret Instagram, buuuuut…” He’s now sitting up and he lifts his phone and taps around quickly, “I’m following you now.”

I see my phone light up.

tomholland2013 is now following you.

“I have a Snapchat though and I’ll put my phone number in your phone.” He says while quickly navigating my apps and contacts list. “There.” He hands me my phone and taps a couple times on his phone.

My phone lights up again.

♡ Tommy ♡

I smile.

“And I’ll put you in my phone as Bubbles. I can’t guarantee I’ll always answer, but- Ooomf!”

I hit him with an unexpected hug and now he’s on his back and I’m next to him on the blue blanket.

It takes him a moment, but then his arms are around my waist.

“Thank you so much, Tommy.” The tears are coming now.

“I’m not leaving you, darling.” He says softly. “Well I am-“

I laugh and sniffle.

“But you know what I mean.” His hand pats my lower back gently. “Text me, snap me, message me on Instagram, call me. I might not be able to get to it right away, but I will. Ya got it?”

I nod into his chest and then the lights surprisingly flick off and I feel the weight of a blanket over my lower half.

He doesn’t say anything. He just pulls the blanket up slightly, sets Nigel on his side table near the turned off lamp, and tugs my pillow closer to his.

My eyes are wide in the pitch dark of the room, but as my eyes adjust and I relax I realize how comfortable it is to be next to him.

I’m mostly resting my head on my pillow, but he’s got his arm under my neck and I’m somehow wedged into the space between his bicep and ribs, my arm bent and resting in the middle of his torso and my other arm smushed somewhere.

My head and arm moves slightly when his chest rises and falls with slower and longer breaths and soon he’s lightly snoring.

At first I think he’s fallen asleep really fast, but then I glance at the wall clock and realize we’ve been laying here for maybe 45 minutes.

The time rushed quickly, or maybe that was my heartbeat.

When his snoring quiets and I feel like I’m sinking into the bed I take a deep breath and soon I’m gone too.


Alright, literally, I am the weirdest person. I have never, ever, never shipped real life people. Even as a kid, I thought it was super weird. Because those are real people, with real feelings and lives of their own. Not just some characters I can smash together and get all giggly about. But with the most recent Kit and Sophie pics from the Emmy’s, I have been thrown down a trashcan and I fucking despise it. I love him and Rose together, and Sophie is great just doing what she does, this is just…I think my Jonsa feelings are seeping into the real world, and now I just want the two (Kit/Sophie) to smooch, hug and hold hands. Something is wrong and I want it to stop. I feel disgusting. So I’m just going to go sit in my trashcan now. 

Originally posted by palmtopliion

How They Ask You To Prom
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Prom was in less than a week and your boyfriend, Ashton, still had not asked you. Even though you both knew you were going together, you had always dreamed of being asked to prom by some spectacular gesture. All day, you had been short with Ashton and he noticed. He didn’t quite seem to understand that you were frustrated with him because he hadn’t officially asked you to Prom yet. After what felt like an eternity the final bell rang and you walked out to your car in the parking lot. From a distance you could see writing on your car. “Maybe he is finally asking me!” you thought to yourself. The driver’s seat window said “Will you” and the window next to it said “go to…” “FINALLY! This is the moment I’ve been waiting for” you thought, waiting for Ashton to appear to ask you in person. The rear windshield said “go to the bathroom with me?” What the hell, Ashton?! ‘Will you go to the bathroom with me?’ Confused by the actions of your boyfriend, you get in your car. You notice a note taped to your steering wheel. It says “No seriously. Come to the upstairs bathroom at my house! -Ash” You have never been more confused in your life, but you drive the familiar route to Ashton’s house anyways. When you get there you head upstairs to the bathroom and enter, slightly afraid of what you might find. You see Ashton laying in the empty bathtub, surrounded by bananas, wearing a banana costume. Over his head he was holding a sign that said “If you don’t go to Prom with me I will go BANANAS!” “Ashton Irwin,” you said, “You are literally the weirdest person I have ever met. I would LOVE to go to Prom with you!”



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You’re birthday was May 1st, and everyone had been asked to prom but you. So when your boyfriend Calum showed up to your birthday party, your hopes were high. When he greeted you with a proud grin, his muscular arms were wrapped around an adorable puppy that yipped when it saw you.  “So Y/N what do ya say?” He says holding up the puppy so you could see the sticky note that said “Prom?”  You were so in love you just squealed and reached for the puppy while hugging Calum as tight as your small arms could. You couldn’t control your excitement as you nodded your head a million times while grinning from ear to ear. Once you pulled away from the hug, Calum giggled as you let the puppy lick your face. This was going to be the best dance ever.

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1989 Philly and Loft 89 Experience (6.13.15/6.14.15)

OKAY so story time!!! Everyone’s been asking for this nonstop, so here we are!! Saturday/Sunday was hands down the best night of my entire life. Everything went from smooth sailing to super complicated within a matter of second, because I had gotten called on Wednesday by Taylor Nation because Taylor had wanted to meet me before the show on Saturday. I got a direct message on my way to the stadium saying that I was then going to be meeting her after the show instead and that they’d be expecting me. This is how I ended up getting into loft, NOT because Andrea had chosen me. There was already something set up prior to last night and my friends colldasyou and areweintheclearyets and I were all told to have our IDs with us.

So skip to after the show (The concert was AMAZING. I LITERALLY LOST MY SHIT DURING I KNOW PLACES. CAROLINE ALSO RECORDED ME BAWLING DURING YOU ARE IN LOVE I WAS A SOBBING MESS) when I was sitting with Lucy and Kaileen and we were just all holding onto each other and being goofballs. We all grabbed each other and Kevin scanned us and started laughing at how many gifts I had from other people stuffed in my bag… especially the bear that Abby gave me… I gotta go. Lucy’s mom was so amazing as we were walking in because I was all stressed out because the lady running the m&g was being so obnoxious and rude with me and almost brought me to tears at one point and she kept reassuring us that everything was going to go great and that we were going to have a great time.

The three of us started sprinting down this sketchy staircase in a tunnel and were recording ourselves screaming the weirdest things. We then had to walk down this super long hallway and then took some ugly chin selfies with the Loft 89 sign. We walked in the room and almost collapsed it was just so homey and was so much smaller than I had pictured it being. I had realized that Dakota and Lindsay also got Loft and literally ran over and tackled the two of them. Almost all of us last night were from Tumblr and it was just unbelievably fun. The lady running the show was starting to get so angry at me again because we were supposed to be staying with our groups in a certain section of the room and I was literally on “tear patrol” as Lucy and Kaileen were calling it. Which meant that every time I saw one of them or one of my other friends starting to cry I had to sprint over to them and wrap them up in my arms and make them take deep breaths and calm down. It was literally the cutest thing ever I’m not gonna lie. I ran over to the food and grabbed some water and saw the cookies that Taylor had made and just grabbed some, threw them in my bag, and ran in the opposite direction. Kaileen and I went over to all of the outfits and started taking the blurriest pictures we could’ve possibly taken. Lucy, Kaileen, and I then wanted to take a picture together over on the couch by the Loft sign before Taylor came in.

We were standing back over by the doorframe again and Andrea came in and gave me one of the biggest and best hugs I have ever received in my entire life. I asked her how she was and she told me I was beautiful and thanked me for asking and for caring. Andrea then turned to Kaileen and I and was like where is Taylor?? Is she not even here yet?! And I was like no she isn’t…. and knowing her she probably wiped out in the shower. Andrea started full on CACKLING and calmed down and was like well, I better go check on her and bring her over to you guys. So she ran out and I went back over to Rachel, Kailee, and Caroline for a little bit.

Kaileen was starting to cry over on the other side of the room so I risked getting in trouble again (the lady hated me so much for this it was absolutely hysterical) because I ran over to her as fast as I could and just wrapped her up in my arms. We were holding onto each other for dear life because we heard people starting to walk down the hallway. The two of us were still standing in the doorframe crushing each other and I looked up and realized Taylor and Andrea were right there and they had their heads tilted and looked at us in awe with their mouths open.

Taylor then walked in like she did at all of the Secret Sessions and threw herself around the corner screaming “HEY GUYS.” Taylor was like we have a very special guest for you guys today… and then Rachel walked in the room and I was just like OH GOODNESS. I was just standing there in front of them not even knowing how to react to what was going on. I told Kaileen I’d talk to her in a bit so I went back over by the photo booth with Lucy and everyone else.

Taylor was making her way around and Rachel got to us before she did. Rachel was honestly the cutest human. I kept telling her how pretty she was and she was telling us how obsessed she was with us. The four of us were making her laugh so hard and my friend Rachel was losing her voice so other Rachel was showing her techniques on how to drop your larynx (hence why we did this as our pose in one of our pictures). She leaned over to me and had this hot pink drink in her hand and was like “I smuggled in some coconut rum… shhhhhh” And we all started cracking up because she was louder than she thought she was. But basically we talked to her for about five minutes about anything and everything and she didn’t want to leave us it was so cute.

At this point, Taylor had made her way over to Lucy who was right next to me. Taylor saw her and literally started yelling and was all “I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO BE HERE OH MY GOD” and then she started talking with her and was imitating her package video. And let me tell you, I have never been more alive than in the moment where Taylor acted out “SHE CALLED ME HER FRIEND” to Lucy and her mom. The three of them talked for a while and took a picture and Taylor was like- Lucy… I think we need to expose my belly button. She started pulling down her shorts and lifting up her shirt and I think my water came close to shooting out my nose. I reached over to grab a diet coke and when I opened it, it literally just exploded EVERYWHERE. It was all over the carpet and my hands were all sticky and I just started crouching in a ball laughing and yelling that I was sorry to Taylor.

Taylor had gone over to another group and when she was done she spun around, looked me dead in the eyes, and we both pointed at each other. She danced her way over and gave me a huge hug (SHE SMELLED SO GOOD). Okay, so then we looked at each other and I was like- So this is the true test…. do you have any idea who I am. She literally stared into my eyes so hard and was like I feel like… I feel like I used your video for something. You were dancing. And I was like …with? and started smirking. She looks at me and goes LAVA LAMP. YOU WERE DANCING WITH A LAVA LAMP. The lava lamp… that was dark as SHIT Katelyn. You are literally the weirdest person I have ever met. And I started DYING I was like no, but I was totally waiting for this to happen. She was like dude that was WEIRD. IT WAS SO DARK. I was like LISTEN IT WAS THREE IN THE MORNING GIVE ME A BREAK. Kailee and Caroline were like she was dancing with it on oovoo for our group chat and it was so iconic and we made her record it for you. And she was like no but you’re SO WEIRD. I LOVE IT. I LOVE YOU. WEIRD IS GOOD. I chimed in and was like HONEY, I THINK THE TWO OF US ARE A PRETTY CLOSE TIE FOR FIRST PLACE. And Rachel goes well, if you’re not weird then what are you?! And Taylor grabbed her and was like TYPICAL. She saw the flash tattoo on Rachel’s arm and was like look at these staaaars and started touching it. She started asking where she could get these and Rachel was like I literally got them at Target for $4.50. And Taylor’s jaw dropped open and she was all WAIT. SO YOU’RE TELLING ME… THAT I CAN GET….. THESE… AT TARGET?! AMAZING. And she looked back over at me and I saw that her elbow was bleeding, so naturally, I grabbed it and yelled WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF. She looked at it, laughed, and pointed to her leg saying “Same thing as this… I don’t know. Sometimes I get a little carried away… okay… maybe like a lot too carried away.” Kailee started talking to her and I was distracted because she was holding my hand (the majority of the time actually) and playing with my fingers. I grabbed her face in both my hands and just looked at her and asked are you real? Are you tangible? She got such a kick out of it and did her little cheesing face and leaned her head onto my one hand. Taylor was like I’m real I promise, you guys can pet me if you want. And of course I was just like… you.. you are not an animal. Kailee, Rachel, and Caroline proceeded to pet her as she shimmied and held onto me and we started talking about how soft her skin was and she told us how she moisturizes every time she showers. (She was so proud of it) I then grabbed Taylor’s attention again and told her that I had made something for her and wanted to explain it before I showed it to her. So she grabbed both my hands and I started telling her about this playlist for her. Taylor’s bangs were kind of swept off to the side of her face and since she was holding my hands, when her hair fell in her face she couldn’t get it. She looks directly into your eyes as you’re talking to her, which I love, and I couldn’t see her one eye because of the bangs. So, I let go of her hand for a second, reached up, and swept my fingers across her face, brushing her bangs back behind her ear for her. (IT WAS REALLY CUTE) Taylor just gave me the biggest closed-mouth smile she could muster without letting herself cry because she was already all emotional over the list of songs I had put together for her. I called the playlist Taylor’s “Home From Home” playlist (I’ll post a picture of it if you guys want to see it) and I was going into detail on the purpose of it. Basically I wanted to give back to her for all of those times she has made my friends, or just anyone really, playlists to help put them at ease when they’re going through something tough. I explained to Taylor how I thought it’d be nice for her to be on the receiving end of this for once and she had tears welling up in her eyes the entire time I was talking to her about it. Her playlist was for when she was traveling or away from home… whether it be a person, place, or even a feeling, I wanted to try and get as close to that as humanly possible. She honestly melted and she kept squeezing my hands tighter as I was going along. I reached out to her for a hug because I just felt like I needed to give her one at that point and was basically just like come here, and held out my arms. I let go after a bit and bent down to grab the playlist from my folder. (I had a folder of letters from a few of my friends who hadn’t gotten the chance to meet her yet) Taylor was just looking back and forth between the paper and I, touching the little pop up stickers and trees in complete awe. She told me how that was such an unbelievably nice and thoughtful thing for me to do, and just told me that she absolutely loved it. She brought up how she had a red eye flight so she was going to have to be up really early because she had to get to LA for Jaime’s baby shower. I was kind of wondering if she was thinking about putting the playlist together and listening to it on the plane. (Hm) Rachel had then asked Taylor where her outfit was from and this was hysterical. Taylor knew where her top was from, (I don’t remember what she said) but she didn’t know where her shorts were from so she had to check. She turned around and pulled the shorts out to look at the tag and for about half a second I had a view that made me laugh a lot harder than I probably should’ve, but IT’S FINE!!! Taylor looked at us and was like “It says Jack. I don’t know what that even is.” So then at this point I was thinking that we were probably going to have to start to wrap it up because the lady running the m&g was getting pissy with us and she was already so mad at me for numerous ridiculous reasons. I wanted to tell Taylor how she had nearly made me cry before she got into the room because she told me I wouldn’t be allowed to get my single picture with her, even though it wasn’t my fault that they switched Lucy, Kaileen, and I’s m&g’s to after the show instead. I also had said how she yelled at me for going over to hug Kaileen when she was crying (Basically Lucy and Kaileen put me on “tear patrol,” which meant it was my job to make sure that no one was crying… she thought that was adorable) Taylor repositioned her body so that she was almost blocking her out in a way and looked at me and said “Babe, there is no way I am letting you leave without the two of us getting our picture.” Taylor looked at us and was super cute and in the funniest voice went “Do shyou has anysings shyou want shme to sign?” She grabbed my shirt and wrote I heart and then spelled my name out loud as she wrote it. We were about to take our picture and I told her I had a pose that I had been thinking about for months and she got really excited to hear that. When we were trying to set ourselves up, she had told me how she really appreciated how I was treating her exactly how I was treating everyone else in the room, and how I made her feel really comfortable. I pulled Taylor over onto my left side and told her what to do….. this was hysterical. She was trying to figure out where on my upper half she wanted to put her arms, and at one point, she literally just grabbed my boob and we started laughing. She went in to kiss my cheek, but totally missed and her mouth went into my ear. It was the funniest thing on earth I was actually dying…… her tongue… her tongue went into my ear and she got lipstick all over it, so I made fun of her for attempting to make out with my ear. She fixed herself, I wrapped my arms around her, and we took the picture. She grabbed my face and told me that I was REALLY PRETTY IN PERSON. Rachel, Caroline, and Kailee also took singles with her (I love that she’s a rebellious rule breaker, I love it so much) and I turned to her and was like Tay…. I think we need a squad pic?! And she got SO excited and was all YES, YES!!! RIGHT NOW!! So everyone pointed at the camera and Taylor and I just grabbed onto each other and opened our mouths like we were yelling. She looked at me after that and we both agreed that we needed to do one last hug before she had to move to the next group, (HI DAKOTA) and she said it had to be our best, most epic one yet. She launched herself onto me and I wrapped my legs around hers and we hugged it out for a little bit and I looked at her and said “See you on the internet?” and she looked back and said “See you on the internet!!” and gave me the biggest smile.

Andrea made her way over to us not too long after. We all gave her a hug and I started asking how she’s been. She said she’s been doing much better and has been deciding that if she feels well enough, she’s going to of course come to the shows. She mentioned that some days are better than others, but also said that all of our unconditional love and support for both her and Taylor make it all that much easier. I told her that she looked AMAZING (she did) and she thanked me so much for saying that. We got onto the topic of where I live and how she used to bring Taylor to my area ALL THE TIME when she was younger. I grabbed the folder with the playlist and letters because I promised Taylor that I would pass them on to her mom so she wouldn’t have to carry them around. Andrea was looking at the playlist and was so touched by it and looked at me and was like I know I wasn’t there to see it, but I can only imagine how strongly Taylor felt about this and how much she just loved it. It really was too sweet of you to make something like this for her and gestures like this don’t go unnoticed. We took a group picture and wrapped up the conversation. Andrea said she would definitely see me around and that it was so nice to finally meet me.

Caroline, Kailee, Rachel, and I got in the Loft photo booth for a hot second, grabbed our pictures, and bounced out. I went back over to tend my diet coke mess and then joined Lucy and her mom again. I started harassing Lucy because of the fact that Taylor signed Amanda on her ticket and she didn’t really care to ask her to fix it. So after I fought her to take it over, (she did) Kaileen was with Taylor at this point. Taylor was telling her how pretty her eyes were and how they were an electric green. They were adorable because Kaileen was crying and Taylor just kept wrapping her up in her arms. Kaileen started to cry again as they were about to take their hugging pic, and I knew that she would’ve been mad at herself if she was crying in it, so me being “tear patrol” I felt like I had to jump in and help. I literally started YELLING “KAILEEN AND TAYLOR. MY ACTUAL CHILDREN. MY BABIES. I LOVE MY FAMILY.” And Kaileen and Taylor were trying so hard not to mess up the picture and were laughing through gritted teeth. (Totally lost it afterwards) ((Lucy and I did too)) Taylor looked like she felt SO bad when they brought Lucy’s autograph over to her. She immediately fixed it and yelled I’M SORRY LUCY!!! She started screaming bye to all of us and that was the end of that. Lucy grabbed some cold pizza and her, Kaileen, and I walked out into the hallway to take a post-Loft picture. We left the building making the most inhuman noises possible and hugging each other so tight the entire time. Hands down the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Taylor, I just want to thank you for all of that. For setting up the best night of my entire life and for giving me the opportunity to spend it with such amazing people. I’m so glad that we finally got to meet each other and spend some time together. You’ve done so much more than you’ve ever needed to do just to make me my happiest, and that means so much more to me than I’ll ever be able to tell you. Hopefully we’ll bump into each other sometime soon!! Best friend in the world? YOU WIN ALL THE AWARDS!!!!

PS- Taylor, whenever you end up listening to the playlist, let me know what you think!! I’m so curious and I’m glad you loved it!! (I also have a copy of it on my phone if something happened and you don’t have the original) Miss you!

Taylor kept telling me how I was literally the weirdest person she’s ever met but just loves it and loves me so much I literally felt some vomit in my esophagus not gonna lie I was literally just like PLEASE I KNOW. HONEY. I KNOW. WE’RE PRETTY EQUAL ON THIS ONE. Taylor was just like… true though. Being weird is amazing