literally the saltiest

anonymous asked:

Happy birthday~! I love your work and ahhhhh you are so pERFECT I JUST WOW. Like you are seriously amazing! Umm if it's okay can I have some jealous!Oikawa headcanons? I really loved the ones you made before. Like only of you're not too busy and you want to. Any Oikawa is great though! I really love your work that you for being so wonderful~!

//The happy birthday just goes to show that I am lazy and a horrible person.

Jealous! Oikawa headcanons:

  • Literally the saltiest and pettiest loser ever. At first his partner would think it’s cute, but it gets really frustrating – fast. “Are they better looking at me tho?” “But for real I bet you (person) can’t be as awesome as I am”. Very much becomes very insecure.
  • Despite explaining the situation, he will be low-key salty. He will respect his partner and obviously trust them to handle it, but he would let them know if he is uncomfortable.
  • Would be sickeningly sweet to the person he’s jealous of, so much so it seems like he’s befriending them… Only to bitch about them later to friends.
  • Secretly change his partner’s lock screen to a picture of him under the guise of him being wacky, but mainly just to remind others that he’s there. Watching. Judging.
  • If a situation occurs that his partner is being full on hit on, he will calmly explain that they’re a loser and that they should stop. He tried. “You suck for real, bye”
  • Pouting becomes a usual expression.

Possible scenario: He’s been jealous of (A) for a while, (Name) has explained that they’re just friends and trying to work on a project together. He will respect (Name) and do all of the above. One day he finds (A) is trying to flirt with (Name) who remains oblivious, Oikawa would be so steely and calm walking up to (A) before lifting (Name) off bridal style to a private room, then would sexually mark his territory and leave love bites in visible parts. Making sure to leave his partner nothing but thoughts about him and making it clear that (A) has no chance in hell. He would then discuss to (Name) that it’s time for them to set their foot down and tell them to “go to hell”. But for real he would make clear that it’s no longer just him being jealous and insecure, that it was going to genuinely hurt him if nothing was going to be done. All in all, slightly mature of him but at the same time, dorky.