literally talking myself through it

anonymous asked:

reading your "essay" posts gives the impression you're going through a serious existencial crisis.

please don’t insult me. i am not fourteen anymore. this is obviously more of a postmodern crisis. 

crazyqueensloth  asked:

I don't know if i'll wake up tomorrow so I just want to tell you how much I love you, you helped me so much but this is too much. Please keep being yourself until the end of your days. You're perfect and you deserve the best. I really love you. I just wanted to tell you that.

don’t do anything silly baby. 
i’ve been where you are. many times. i’ve taken the pills, i’ve been to the hospital, etc. i know how hopeless it all feels. and i know how stubborn your mind is when it comes to listening to what others have to say and letting them convince you not to go through with it all. 

what i’ve learnt is that hitting rock bottom teaches you a lot. i got halfway through attempting suicide and realized the afterlife could be just as awful, or worse… i could be reincarnated back into this shitty cycle again. 

then i went to hospital, where i was surrounded by people genuinely worse off than i was. its all such an eye opening experience.

and i’m not gonna sit here and tell you that shit gets better. because it hasn’t. but you learn to cope. i’m still severely depressed, but when i have my low days, i now know how to teach myself through it. 

you need to remind yourself that everything you’re feeling and thinking is an over-exaggeration caused by the chemical imbalance in your brain. you know why depression most commonly happens in adolescence? because their brains aren’t matured yet, and they have all these crazy fucking hormones floating around in their bodies making them feeling a million and one emotions all at once and it just gets too much! 

but once you pass adolescence, once your brain matures, you start to think straight. you have control over it all. the imbalance might still be there, but you are able to realize that. and the sooner you realize nothing is as bad as it seems, that its all a horrible little chemical imbalance, the sooner you can start figuring out techniques that help you survive your breakdowns. 

i have my little psychological coping techniques that i do. i literally just talk myself through it. my breakdowns usually come daily, at different times, but instead of thinking how miserable each day is going to be, i can remind myself that those feelings always pass. doesnt matter for how long or short. they still pass. and one day they might pass forever. 

idk… just think. take a few deep breaths and think about it. 
don’t think about whats going on around you. think about whats going on inside of you. look at it from a different perspective. 

you will make it through this <3 
breath, think, learn.