literally my favorite thing in the whole book

The Artemis Fowl books advocate for the environment, deal with misogyny in the workplace and the need for feminism, and has some of the best character development arcs like ever over the span of eight books. Also, there’s magic and fairies with guns and time travel and a whole lot of sarcasm and really no downside to reading them

Genre: thriller, science fiction/fantasy??? IDK how to categorize this
Setting: UK, present day
# of Pages: 304
Rating: 4/5

The skinny: I think this book is just great proof that you can literally get away with anything in fiction so long as you commit to it 110%. 

The fat: The whole thing is totally far-fetched from start to finish but the characters are all entirely aware of how unlikely it all is, and react exactly how real people would in such an outlandish situation. (It’s almost magical realism in that sense.) Louise is especially relatable, and peppers with whole unbelievable story with perfectly believable soundbites–my favorite being her shouting “I did it because I’m stupid” when asked to account for her actions. (I feel you, Louise. I feel you.) At any rate, I can definitely understand why this wouldn’t be for everyone. I had suspicions of what the big WTF ending was going to be when I was still a few chapters away and I think that made it easier to swallow, but I didn’t enjoy it any less for that. A weird, wild ride.

4.5/5 Stars.

This is a book that I challenge all my white friends to read, no matter where you stand on the spectrum of confronting white privilege and systemic racism. Michael Eric Dyson delivers a powerful, engaging, personal, informational, inspiring sermon that’s essential at this moment in time when racial division is especially high.

I urge you to read with an open heart and mind, to set aside your discomfort and listen to Dyson’s plea for white Americans to reckon with the harsh truths of racism.

Dyson is an ordained minister, so what better way to present this than as a sermon. He divides it into multiple sections: in “Hymns of Praise,” he cleverly shares hymns in the form of rap lyrics; in “Scripture Reading,” he quotes Martin Luther King Jr.; in the main sermon, he addresses whiteness specifically (including white innocence, white fragility, and white privilege) and then segues into a section about what it’s like to be black in America. Following that is “Benediction,” one of my favorite parts: in it he offers practical suggestions for what white people can do to make things better.

The whole thing is incredibly current and topical, with commentary on Black Lives Matter, the recent election and Donald Trump’s rise to power.

For white people who seek to understand more about racism and white privilege in America (and really, that should be all of us), this is the book to read. It was literally written for us.

My thoughts on Beauty and the Beast

(In slapdash, type-whatever-comes-to-mind format)

  • The development of Belle and Adam’s romance in this version… Adam didn’t have to do a total personality 180 to catch Belle’s attention, he was still gruff and huffy, just with a sweet side.
    • Also: “The laughter usually ends when I enter the room.” “Me too”
    • That’s the saddest yet best thing to bond over wtf?????
    • I literally screamed when Adam gave Belle the library
  • Belle, in reference to a book: “I’m back from my latest adventure!” 
    • Same girl same

{Spoilery stuff under the cut}

Keep reading

Day #9 of #aBookishHoliday - Book and Candy!

Gonna admit this: I’m a sucker for sugar. And anything chocolate. Or mint. I do love my M&M’s too. So I bought these Mint M&M’s a few days ago specifically for this picture, and the bag is already over half of way gone 😂 I literally had to stop myself from eating the whole thing though hahah.

QOTD: What’s your favorite candy?

vimyvickers replied to your post: vimyvickers replied to your post: …

Yeah, I should really ask my mum who in the family has them now. The story that has most viscerally imprinted itself on my brain is the one where Durrell family go for a picnic on the beach to impress some relatives from out of town and set up the blanket with a lovely length of driftwood to lean against, only to realise, upon noticing a strange pong, in the middle of the meal, that said driftwood was, in fact, a (very) deceased horse.

oh my god I’d forgotten that one. I think my favorite thing from the Corfu years was the passage about going out with the night fishermen and catching octopus with a trident, but my favorite overall is his descriptions of capturing armadillos in Argentina in The Drunken Forest… and tbh literally everything else in that book, the whole thing is a hysterical zoology misadventure.

  • Jace: You never let me off the hook for a single minute, do you? Never mind. It's one of the things I love about you. Anyway, that other thing we did in Paris- That's probably off the table for a while. Unless you want that whole baby-I'm-on-fire-when-we-kiss-thing to become freakishly literal.
  • Clary: No kissing?
  • Jace: Well, kissing, probably. But as for the rest of it...
  • Clary: It's okay with me if its okay with you.
  • Jace: Of course it's not okay with me. I'm a teenage boy. As far as I'm concerned, this is the worst thing that's happened since I found out how Magnus was banned from Peru.

regolithheart  asked:

Sleepover Saturday!! What are you five dessert island books, albums, and movies?


  1. Cress
  2. All Creatures Great and Small
  3. The Horse and His Boy
  4. And Then There Were None
  5. Bird by Bird


Would you accept single songs, instead? Because I literally never buy whole albums.

  1. The Best is Yet to Come (Sheppard)
  2. For the Longest Time (Billy Joel)
  3. My Father’s Waltz (Hem)
  4. Evermore (Dan Stevens)
  5. I Love You (Woodkid)


  1. The Mummy
  2. The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
  3. Stardust
  4. The Dressmaker
  5. The Librarian

I was tagged by @intelligentoctopus to tell my 10 favorite characters in 10 different fandoms! So here they are in reverse chronological order.

1) Detective Marcus Bell (Elementary)

2) Steve Rogers (Captain America Movies)

3) Hawkeye Pierce (M*A*S*H)

4) Gabrielle (Xena Warrior Princess)

5) Eowyn (Lord of the Rings)

6) The Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

7) Bernard Black (Black Books)

8) Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

9) Arnold Rimmer (Red Dwarf)

10) Benton Fraser (Due South)

I struggled with the whole ‘different fandoms’ thing because I’ve not been into that many different fandoms and I’ve literally had to go back into my pre-teen interests. I am more ‘into’ some fandoms than others. Some could barely be called fandoms. (The Black Books fandom is somewhat tiny, and I met most of them because I used to organise group hoildays via the singular forum that existed.) Meanwhile, Buffy and Doctor Who conventions dominated my life for much of my twenties and late teens.

If anyone wants to do this, then jump in. I am tagging @jeweled-weevil, @trapper-john, @trapperjohnfrancisxaviermcintyre, @hawkeyespierce, @majorfrustration, and @kynthaworld - if any of you feel like playing (participation entirely optional of course).

concentratedtea  asked:

what discworlds would you recommend to start out with? and the which ones after? Its so overwhelming!

my extremely unorthodox suggestion is to just do what i did– start right at the very beginning with the colour of magic and then read them in order. the reason this is an extremely unorthodox suggestion is that the colour of magic isn’t as good as most discworld books and also it’s just extremely un-discworldlike. in most of discworld, the satire is targeted mostly at the real world, using fantasy as a lens to say things about current day society, or history, or politics, or whatever. but in the early books (and especially in colour of magic) the satire is very squarely pointed at genre fantasy itself. there’s even an lengthy section of the book that’s a direct and specific parody of pern, which helped make starting on discworld feel like a punctuation to my middle school rambling between bad fantasy series. and i mean. it’s funny. i liked rincewind enough i started calling myself “rincewind” on the internet and, well, i’m still sort of doing that like 17(?) years later. but it’s not special in that way discworld is. also there’s like no girls in it.



one of my favorite things about, like, the whole experience of discworld was seeing it grow and change over time. the setting itself and its history and society and technology change continuously– novelties in one book (the semaphore clacks, the postal service, the printing press) become woven into the setting from that point forward. so many fantasy settings seem like static, stagnant places. but discworld felt like a living world. it was heightened, comic, literally on the back of a giant turtle, and it felt more real than dozens of dour medieval fantasy settings.

but also you get to see pratchett grow as a writer, from just a pretty funny fantasy satirist to– well, to the pratchett we know and love, who writes with so much humanity and thoughtfulness and compassion about his characters.

and by starting at the very, very beginning i got to kind of live out that journey.

but um probably somebody with better advice should chime in here and suggest a discworld book that is actually good for humans to read



let me explain, this moment is so powerful because, even if Damen cannot do anything at all during this part, he still is intimidating in my opinion, when he talks back to the regent and when the voice is speaking, i literally feel Damen’s rage???through his

  • I’m going to kill you
  • The moment you laid his hands on him, you were dead
  • I will be the last thing that you see. You will go to the ground with my blade on your flesh
  • and his laugh please: The King? Which King? (oh damen)

I’m not gonna lie, that part is my favorite in the whole book, and now all i’m thinking about is if they will make a mini-series adaption, all i can imagine is this SCENE RIGHT HERE

please talk to me about this moment i need your opinions

smileyface84  asked:

Sorry if you've been asked this about a billion times already, but what were your opinions on BoO in general? (favorite parts, least favorite parts, the characterization, etc?)

So this has been sitting in my inbox for nearly a month now, sorry it took so long for me to get around to it!

Overall? The whole book kind of fell flat for me. I mean, it wasn’t bad, but it was just so much less epic than I was expecting. I mean this was the last book and honestly I didn’t feel overwhelmed by it.

The Good Stuff:

Reyna and Nico’s point of view chapters. The whole thing. Literally all of it. It was all wonderful. Every bit. Ironically, I wasn’t really looking forward to them (pre BOO me was a little salty that only one book would feature POVs for people not in the seven). I was so wrong though- their plot line was so interesting, well paced and fun to read. 

Also, Piper and Annabeth’s relationship are my favorite things. In the world. Some Jason character growth was really cool too- I liked seeing him finally move on from his mother.

The Not-So-Good Stuff:

Pretty much the entirety of the seven’s plot line, honestly. It felt like the same old stuff was happening. Like, there was no sense of urgency that they were running out of time. Someone was predicted to die but nobody actually seemed worried about it. Their chapters were far outweighed by Nico and Reyna’s, which is pretty crappy when you’re the A plot of the book.

The Why-Gods-Why Stuff:

The ending. Just… I admit, I am a bit biased. Leo has been my least favorite character for a very long time, so I was a bit salty that we ended on him. But even besides that, I’m really upset the RR didn’t have the guts to kill anyone off. You can’t say over and over again through a series that death is part of being a demigod, and that someone is going to die and then… nothing. The lack of repercussions really bored me. In the first series, we lost a lot of characters. We saw how hard it was to be a demigod. In this series RR couldn’t kill anyone but a mass of female warriors.

Also, I really hated how Leo just let his friends think he was dead. He has know Calypso for a total of two weeks, and still finds traveling the world with them more important? How hard would it have been for him to swing by the camp, or call them or something to let them know he was alive?

What was Percy’s choice that he couldn’t make? Forever salty that this had so much build up and then nothing happened. Forever salty.

I think my biggest, most frustrating issue with this book was the lack of resolution that all of the characters had. I liked what happened with Jason, and I think him traveling between the two camps is very fitting. But other than that… what happened to everyone else? Very unclear. We also didn’t get to say goodbye to a lot of characters (Grover, Chiron, Clarisse) that we loved.

This book reminded me of what Harry Potter could have been, if Harry’s last year he went to Hogwarts and it was mostly uneventful until the last ten chapters. It was a big let down, and I’m really sorry to have seen one of the most influential book series of my childhood go out with such a boring end.

Z: Then he showed me Kid Rock’s last book and his book is about twice the size, hardback, black, simple writing, the whole thing just filled with sick pictures, and just like captions from each place. No bullshit. No, like, ‘my favorite color’s blue,’ ‘my favorite color’s red, ‘if I was invisible for the day I would touch people’s bums,’ none of that. And, then, literally just all sick pictures and it looks bad. And he’s basically putting the pitch for what I want for next year’s book if it looks cool.
L: Nice, aw sick. Sick. You hear it here first, then.
Z: Every time you look in it, you just think ‘fuck, I haven’t even seen that picture, that’s a bad photo.’ Full of sick shit instead of boring crap.
L: Yeah, I know. Same old shit that I’m sure the fans are bored of reading.
Z: They want to know what we’re up to now, man. We’re not into the pink books, man.
—  Zayn and Louis on the books x
Last book. And this book, it’s about TWICE the size, hardback, black, simple writing, the WHOLE thing just filled with sick pictures and just like captions from each place. No bullshit, no like, “My favorite color’s blue… My favorite color’s red… If I was invisible for the day I would touch people’s bums.” Um none of that and just literally just all sick pictures and it looks bad.
—  A stoned Zayn Malik talking about his ideal One Direction book (via britishflaggots)
the fucking video
  • L: All good for the chicken, Al?
  • Al?: Ohhhhh yeahhh
  • L: Yeah Buddy!
  • Al: Yeahh
  • L: Is that what we were talking about?
  • Z?: Oh. That's ahead (a head?)
  • everyone all at once: blahdkaeroiuasdkfj that's a head. thats a good head. good head...????????
  • Al?: well we got a full chicken
  • L: Niiiice
  • Z: Haha
  • ?: it's a ten? (tech?)
  • ?: Yeah but. we can take this to jamaica. so. we don't have anything in jamaica set up.
  • Al: yeah?
  • ?: yeah
  • ?: we got one hits?
  • ?: yeah, well we're gonna..
  • ?: alright
  • ?: are we allowed to (tag, tech, tan, take, tape, ?) contraband in this?
  • L: yes. of course. that's what it's about.
  • everyone all at once: blariohgidihsfpsoijenklsjdafsd soft point? i really listened to this bit literally 25 times. i got nothin.
  • L: so here we are. leaving peru. joint lit. happy days. whatcha think zayn? about that kind of content?
  • ?: we've got better....blarghity blargh
  • Z: i don't think it's very controversial
  • L: say again, ah?
  • Everyone: blarghity blargh
  • L: OH my god. that's the police. that's the po po.
  • Z: driver looks a bit like (sue, soup, stu, suit, suits, ?)
  • Driver?: Here we go guys
  • L: nice
  • ?: blarghity blargh
  • L: trying to blow into the camera
  • Z: *singing* baby look what you've done to me
  • L: smoke screen baby
  • Z: *singing* baby look what you've done...nah
  • L: that's just zayn warmin up there before the show.
  • Z: *singing* random notes
  • L: zayn takes his job very seriously. he made sure. he goes through a 2 hour intense warm up regime before every show. just to get himself in the zone.
  • Z: still singing random silly notes and noises
  • L: one very very important factor to zayn's warm up, of course, is mary jane. herself.
  • Z: singing a song i don't know
  • L: which i will present him now. this is fantastic singing.
  • Z: *singing* Mary J. Blige
  • L: how is it zayn?
  • Z: *making a (contented/approving) face while smoking
  • L: nice.
  • ?: ppl talking about navigation/directions ithink. i caught a 'next exit' i'm pretty sure.
  • L: thats the po po. One - Nil. (as motorcycle cop rides by their van)
  • L: get a bit of the culture in. (i took this sarcastically as they're literally watching the city go by through van windows whilst moving)
  • Z: coughs
  • L: hows that kind of culture? (pointing camera at the joint)
  • Z: great culture. its gonna be even better culture when we get to jamaica.
  • ?: just got an update
  • L: update?
  • ?: we've got chicken in chile
  • L: CHICKEN IN CHILE. bew bew bew bewbewbew bew bew bew bewbewbew
  • ?: chile chicken
  • ?: chile chicken baby
  • ?: *singing* yeah baby
  • L: that's the po po (hearing sirens) two - nil
  • Z: relighting the joint
  • ?: J - A - R - A - M - I - L - L - O
  • Z: (kind of rapping?) I know you like (dick, dat, dis, dicks) BEEPED OUT
  • L: ehhheheheheh
  • Z: OOOOH beeped out
  • L: OooOOooh (kind of like a creepy old man?)
  • ?: beeped out
  • L: (hey, harry, narry, ?) brah. im chillin (impersonating zayn?) oh my god bro. my heads wrecked. (swooping camera in a dizzy way)
  • Z: looks around in a kind of robotic way?
  • L: *laughs*
  • ?: why are you fucking smoking cigarettes motherfucker
  • L: *laughs*
  • ?: its supposed to be green only BEEPED OUT
  • L: ITS GREEN ONLY... Nick (some people hear NIG. i don't. )
  • tape is cut
  • L: i'm just wondering now...
  • Z: its beautiful damn peru
  • L: i'm sat here in peru wondering will this come back to me (pans camera to point at joint zayn is holding) who knows. maybe. maybe not.
  • L: (sees police motorcycle ride by) he's having a look he's thinking i'm SURE i can smell an illegal substance in there. and he's hit the nail on the head.
  • tape is cut
  • Z: then he showed me Kid Rock's last book
  • ?: 10 minutes away bro
  • Z: and his book its about twice the size. hard back. black. simple writing. the whole thing just filled with sick pictures. and there's a caption from like each place. no bullshit (beeped out)
  • L: yeah
  • Z: no like 'my favorite color's blue' (in a puppety voice?) 'my favorite (tea, team, pee, ?) is red' (again with the weird voice mocking the stupidity of the 'fun facts') 'if i was invisible for a day I would switch people's bones' ya know. none of that. and then just literally just all sick pictures and it looks bad (the good kind of bad) and he's basically putting the picture on the front of next year's book....
  • L: nice. oh sick. (interrupting zayn so i couldn't get the rest of his sentence about kid rock's book.) sick. you heard it here first then.
  • Z: you did (pointing finger guns at louis)
  • L: *gets joint passed from front of the van* Oh Stubbsy! (i couldn't make this shit up.)
  • tape is cut
  • Z: and every time you look in it you just think BEEP i've never even seen that picture and that's a that's a bad photo (again... i think he's using bad for good here) full of sick BEEP instead of boring crap.
  • L: yeah i know. same old BEEP. that i'm SURE the fans are bored of reading.
  • Z: they wanna know what we're up to NOW man. we're not into pink books man.
  • Z: Kid Rock's smokin a J in one of the pictures, right
  • L: yeah
  • Z: and he's got gold (cough, cough from someone up front) on his middle finger which is a bit weird, but, aside from that, he's stickin his middle finger up with a J in his mouth and that's one of the pictures in the book
  • L: sick.
  • L: *arriving wherever they're arriving* here we BEEEP go
  • Z: check the guy out with the chair *pointing outside the van*

magicmazzic  asked:

I actually have some personal experience with the surviving Doc Savage fandom - my Dad (who grew up reading Doc Savage) is a tremendous fan, and regularly cohorts with other people who enjoyed Doc Savage from a a young age. He's shown me numerous published works that are essentially licensed fan fictions that are still being written today. Including comic books!

If you ever meet a Doc Savage fan, treasure them. My all-time favorite artifact of Doc Savage fandom is this video below, made on a home movie camera in the 1960s, of several 8 year old boys who literally act out the entire plot of one of the better Doc mysteries, Fear Cay. Watch the whole thing, it’s delightful.

The Will Murray books published in the past few years are amazing, and one of the great things about the past few years is the fact they’re published. I pre-order every single one. This is a bold claim, but I don’t think the books have been better, since Murray can show us things that Street & Smith mandates meant they couldn’t show (like one scene where Doc and the crew react with anger and anxiety to the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor as it happens), and elements like recurring enemies, and so on. They feel dead-on, my favorite is the one where Doc finds a mummy in Asia with the inscription, “If I still lived, the world would tremble.”

If you can only read one, read his Doc Savage/King Kong crossover, Skull Island

anonymous asked:

i was just reading your post about the suns article so youre saying we shouldnt buy the book? cause its a stunt? and idk not really what Zayn has written?

I would never tell anybody what to do. But yeah, I think the book is a stunt. While some of the thoughts in the book may reflect Zayn’s own, I don’t think he wrote the book. And yes, people like Simon Cowell will profit from it and profit before Zayn himself because that’s how the contracts were written. 

Keep in mind what Zayn said during the weedgate tape:

Z: Then he showed me Kid Rock’s last book and his book is about twice the size, hardback, black, simple writing, the whole thing just filled with sick pictures, and just like captions from each place. No bullshit. No, like, ‘my favorite color’s blue,’ ‘my favorite color’s red, ‘if I was invisible for the day I would touch people’s bums,’ none of that. And, then, literally just all sick pictures and it looks bad and he’s basically putting a picture while ??? if it looks cool.
L: Nice, aw sick. Sick. You hear it here first, then.
Z: Every time you look in it, you just think ??? ‘that’s a bad photo.’ Full of sick shit instead of boring crap.
L: Yeah, I know. Same old shit that I’m sure the fans are bored of reading.
Z: They want to know what we’re up to now, man. We’re not into the pink books, man.

Not only is the book a stunt, imo it’s also petty revenge. Zayn wasn’t happy with 1D’s marketing specific to the books. I’m sure 1DHQ took offense.

This is not Zayn’s vision for himself. He already said his vision for a book was minimalist, like Kid Rock. He didn’t wanna vainly talk about himself. He wanted a photo heavy coffee table style book focused on visual aesthetics. But 1DHQ is making him name and claim this book while they still have that power. And I expect there will be things in there that further support the official narrative and make 1D’s road to living in their collective truth that much harder.
Best Crime Fiction (and then some) of 2013

10. Gunshot in Another Room by Charles Kelly

I know, a nonfiction book might not be the best place to start a crime list, but this one deserves to be here. For me, the best nonfiction is the kind that reads like fiction, and Kelly accomplishes that in this book. I knew a few things about Dan J. Marlowe before reading this, but I know a lot of things now, and the man lead a life worthy of his fiction.

9. The Maid’s Version by Daniel Woodrell

To be honest, I wasn’t crazy about a Woodrell novel with a historical twist. Needless to say, he proved me wrong. This is a different kind of Woodrell (it was really obvious because I’d read Tomato Red a few weeks before this one), but one I enjoyed as much as the one I’m accustomed to.

8. Low Down Death Right Easy by J. David Osborne

Osborne is doing his own thing and folks who haven’t checked out his work are missing out on a fresh and unique voice in crime fiction. LDDRE is grimy, weird, layered, and full of great passages. Crime fiction shines when dirty is done well, and that’s the case here.

7. Sociopaths in Love by Andersen Prunty

This is the crime book I loved that none of my fellow crime lovers read. Prunty’s work tends to be bizarro, but this narrative about two sociopaths learning (and failing horribly) to live together while one goes on a killing rampage reads like a sicker, weirder version of Natural Born Killers.

6. The Thief by Fuminori Nakamura

This was my introduction to Nakamura and immediately made me put him on my list of authors whose new work I always want to check out as soon as it comes out.

5. Country Hardball by Steve Weddle

Short. Brutal. Sharp. Dark. I could go on and on. Country Hardball sticks with you because Weddle’s writing feels real. My only complaint about this one is that it was over way too soon.

4. The Least of My Scars by Stephen Graham Jones

Jones is comfortably nested in that violent spot where crime and horror meet and the work he produces bridges the gap between the two genres better than anyone else’s. The Least of My Scars is sharp and cerebral, but what makes it one of my favorite reads of the year is the combination of humor, gore, and psychosis.

3. Out of the Black by John Rector

This one brought together all of my favorite elements and delivered them at breakneck speed. Sure, there are guns, bad guys, violence, loan sharks, and the promises of easy money, but the narrative is ultimately about loss, and that makes the novel feel poignant above and beyond its plot.

2. Cold Quiet Country by Clayton Lindemuth

I picked this up and thought “Well, here’s another noir from some dude I don’t know.” A few pages later, I thought “Who the fuck is this guy? This is some of the best prose I’ve read in while.” By the time I turned the last page, I thought “Everyone needs to reads Clayton Lindemuth. I hope he has something else coming out soon!”

1. The Hard Bounce by Todd Robinson

Outstanding dialogue, great violence, tight plot, likeable characters: you want it, The Hard Bounce’s got it. It’s also unbelievably funny. I expected something good from Robinson, but this one blew me away. This was the novel I kept recommending in 2013 whenever someone asked me what they should read next. I’ll probably keep recommending it this year.

The Nerd of Noir

Low Down Death Right Easy by J. David Osborne

This spare, off-beat novel knocked the Nerd on his ass with its originality, intelligence and unwillingness to hold the reader’s hand.

Pale Horses by Nate Southard

An incredible grasp of tension and character kept me glued to this beast but its full-dark finale gave it a place on the year end list.

Fierce Bitches by Jedidiah Ayres

Peckerwood couldv’e also made the list but Bitches consistently surprised me with its invention, dark poetry and big-ass balls.

Donnybrook by Frank Bill

Had been hearing about this novel for no-shit *years.* Even with all the hype it still made the list. That takes some fucking talent right there.

Corrosion by Jon Bassoff

Bassoff has been putting out great shit for years as the New Pulp Press editor but Corrosion proved he’s as good a writer as he is tastemaker.

Sacrifices by Roger Smith

If you’re not hip to Smith’s pitch black, insanely bloody Capetown class/race warfare tragedies, Sacrifices is a fantastic place to start.

Inside Straight by Ray Banks

Banks takes the classic downward spiral noir story and gives it a great man-child/aspberger-y nerd spin that’s fresh as all hell.

Maid’s Version by Daniel Woodrell

A novel both incredibly sprawling and painfully intimate, The Maid’s Version is the shortest “epic” novel you’re likely to ever read.

Rake by Scott Phillips

Part psycho noir, part debauched Parisian travelogue, part brutal celebrity/Hollywood satire, Rake needs to make it to the screen toot-sweet.

The Baddest Ass by Anthony Neil Smith

The return of Billy Lafitte is something to be celebrated and this nasty ticking clock prison novel is one party the Nerd never wanted to end.

Brian Lindenmuth


Mad Dogs, Midgets and Screw Jobs: The Untold Story of How Montreal Shaped the World of Wrestling

This was my favorite non-fiction book of the year. It probably doesn’t have a very wide appeal but I was fascinated by this slice of wrestling history.


Last of the Smoking Bartenders by CJ Howell

This is one of those books that doesn’t fit squarely into any one genre or category, and it is better off for it. This is a book about madness that puts the reader riding shotgun in a manic-depressive roadtrip. This is also a book with the rare actual character arc.

Mountain Home by Bracken MacLeod

Mountain Home starts off with a bang, literally as a sniper starts shooting up a remote mountain diner. From there we move from tense moment to scary moment until we’ve learned about why this whole thing started. The end result is one of my favorite books of the year.

Others of My Kind by James Sallis

Odd is a word that could be used to describe the latest Sallis offering. Brilliant is another one. Sallis has crafted a real gem here with each line being an integral part of the whole, nothing wasted. This may not be a book for everyone but it is a rewarding and haunting one.

The Maid’s Version by Daniel Woodrell

Woodrell is a writer worth waiting for. This is another work where there isn’t a single wasted word and every word is essential. The Maid’s Version is also that rare work with a distinct voice.

Low Down Death Right Easy by J David Osborne

LDDRE is a lean, mean, noir machine. This is a sleek and nasty and minimal noir that isn’t for the faint of heart and the more rewarding for being so.

Peckerwood & Fierce Bitches by Jedidiah Ayres

Peckerwood had the rare distinction of making last years best of list even though it hadn’t been released yet. Peckerwood is a gritty story about family and crime in a small town. Even though it is a dark story I think that Peckerwood has the potential for a wider audience as there is never darkness for darkness sake, just darkness in service of story.

Fierce Bitches was one of my favorite reads this year. For the first part of the story I felt comfortable in what kind of story I was in and where it was going. Then Jed yanked the rug out from under me over and over again. It was a thrilling read because I had no idea where it was going. Then once it got there I wanted to start from the beginning and read it again. Jedidiah Ayres may just have one of the best imaginations in crime fiction and this wholly original novella helps that claim.

The Outcasts by Kathleen Kent

The Outcasts seemed to be marketed as historical fiction but it is really a western. This is a great story, with alternating and slowly converging story lines, fully developed characters, dark moments, and fantastical moments that would have entered into the western mythos had they really happened.

HNIC by Albert “Prodigy” Johnson

I’m a long time fan of street books and a lot of them feel like they could benefit from at least one more round of editing (especially copy editing), even fans of the genre have to admit that. HNIC does not have this problem. This is a fast paced revenge novella in parts of the city that most mainstream crime fiction doesn’t visit.

Grind Joint by Dana King

I had a couple of thoughts while reading Grind Joint which I’ll try to link together (probably poorly so be warned). The Friends of Eddie Coyle is highly regarded as one of the best crime novels ever (the movie is a classic too) but Higgins’s fiction has seemed to have fallen out of favor some. Writers now aren’t talking about his work in the same way that they talk about others. Also a certain kind of crime fiction seems to have fallen out of favor too; fiction with a bigger cast of characters on both side of the law, usually has some mob focus (think Higgins, think Dead City by Shane Stevens). In fact, a well known publisher has “Books about organized crime aren’t our thing.” in their submission guidelines. It seems like there are a couple of writers that are influenced by Higgins and have written or are writing these types of books. Grind Joint is one of them. Grind Joint has cops, small town mobsters, a PI, an old spook, and many others. We see all of these characters deal with a murder case, turf wars, political machinations, home invasions and so much more. King has said that he’s been influenced by The Wire (itself a visual fiction of the type talked about above), and it shows.

Night of the Furies by JM Taylor

I don’t know who JM Taylor is (I have a guess though!) but this one surprised me. It landed on my Kindle, I started reading it, and I just kept right on going because it grabbed me right away. One of the interesting things here is that you have a complete and total asshole of a protagonist in situations that should make him more likeable. That he retains his hate-ability is a brave choice that may shake some readers but remember, this is a noir. So when does get his eventual comeuppance (this is a noir so this isn’t a spoiler) it makes it so much sweeter.

The Hard Bounce by Todd Robinson

Big Daddy Thug’s novel has been floating around the industry for YEARS. The Hard Bounce is a hardboiled series in the vein of the Hap & Leonard books. There is a mystery to be solved but really you are reading for the interactions between the two life long friends, Junior and Boo.

Nothing Save the Bones Inside Her by Clayton Lindemuth

Lindemuth’s debut noir novel, Cold Quiet Country, seemed to come out of nowhere last year because he didn’t come up through the noir ranks of online zines like so many tend to do. It blew my hair back too. Nothing Save the Bones Inside Her is a stark, rural, brutal book with a distinct voice and a story that goes in unexpected places.

Flushboy by Stephen Graham Jones

The main Jones releases in 2013 (Flushboy, The Least of My Scars, Sterling City) are all of a type. They all feature fantastical and highly imaginative events filtered through a tight perspective and a limited setting. They are all also highly recommended. Flushboy is about a teenage boy who works in a drive through urinal. But really it’s about the relationship between a father and a son, a guy and his girl, life in a small town, and chasing your crazy ass dreams.

NOS4A2 by Joe Hill, Year of the Storm by John Mantooth, American Elsewhere by Robert Jackson Bennett

These were my favorite fantastical books of the year. They all feature great characters, creepy moments, great writing, and mysteries at their heart that keep the pages turning.

Honorable Mentions: The Least of My Scars by Stephen Graham Jones, Gravesend by William Boyle, The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes, My Pet Serial Killer by Michael Seidlinger.

Collections & Anthologies: American Death Songs, Fish Bites Cop, Booked, Beat to a Pulp: Hardboiled 2, All Due Respect, Steel Heart, Kwik Krimes, The Beautiful Thing That Awaits Us All, Staring into the Abyss, Troubled Daughters, Twisted Wives.

Favorite movie: Mud

Shout outs:

CV Hunt – I discovered the work of CV Hunt this year and have greatly enjoyed everything of hers that I’ve read so far. Highly imaginative, a certain daring, and a sense of not knowing just what in the hell to expect.

Broken River Books – Great new crime publisher to keep an eye on.

King of the Perverts by Steve Lowe

This was one of my favorite reads from the year but was published last year. After reading the synopsis I was unsure. It’s simple for a premise like this to go awry. So I downloaded a sample to my Kindle and found the tone lighter then I expected. It was also laced with a crude black humor resulting in laugh out moments. That was enough for me to take a chance on the rest of the book. And I’m glad I did.

Yes, this is a vulgar book and is not for everyone. But it’s also surprisingly warm and winds up as a love story. There is also a biting commentary on the cynicism of reality TV, not the least of which is because it isn’t hard to imagine a show like this in real life. One of the sex challenges is down right laugh out loud funny, you wouldn’t ever think you would laugh at something like this but clearly Lowe has a great comedic touch.

Feeling adventurous? Give this one a try.

Best Crime Fiction of 2013 courtesy of Brian Lindenmuth and Spinetingler Magazine


If I were to make/create/build items, things, trinkets, that have to do with classic hollywood - vintage;  would you guys be interested in buying them? 

Hear me out.

I would make things like book marks, decorations, mugs, bag, purses, t-shirts, socks, Christmas ornaments,jewelry, framed collages, key chains, pins, buttons, pieces of art that have your favorite people on them. 

literally anyone you love, Audrey Hepburn? Yes Grace Kelly? Yes Jean Simmons? Myrna Loy? Greta Garbo? Cary Grant? Gregory Peck? Rock Hudson? YES !!!!!!! ANYONE YOU CAN THINK OF - YES!!!!!!!!!!!!11

It would be all Classic Hollywood, EVERYTHING WOULD BE. AND I could personalize your orders. With your name or your faves name.

And by personalize I mean, have faces, names, quotes, on anything.

Prices would be really good, very inexpensive, I could ship to just about anywhere. Payments would be through PayPal. 

I  have been thinking about this a lot and I feel like I could do a really great job pleasing everyone. 

So please- tell me what you think?

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller 


Greece in the age of heroes. Patroclus, an awkward young prince, has been exiled to the court of King Peleus and his perfect son Achilles. Despite their difference, Achilles befriends the shamed prince, and as they grow into young men skilled in the arts of war and medicine, their bond blossoms into something deeper - despite the displeasure of Achilles’ mother Thetis, a cruel sea goddess.

But when word comes that Helen of Sparta has been kidnapped, Achilles must go to war in distant Troy and fulfill his destiny. Torn between love and fear for his friend, Patroclus goes with him, little knowing that the years that follow will test everything they hold dear.


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