literally i literally cannot with your face

i love this one quote from ‘the perks of being a wallflower’ that goes like 

“And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have.”

and everytime i see one of those aggressively motivational posts that are like ‘get your shit together, there are people literally starving to death, ur fine, just like go out and stop worrying’ i am reminded of this exact passage. 

honestly, i feel like people who post those things are literally just trying to make themselves more comfortable with how you live your life and cope with things. it feels like they only want you to stop articulating your feelings instead of actually wanting you to feel better. and maybe that’s one of those ‘justneurotypicalthings’ where they literally cannot fathom what you’re going through, and maybe they think it’s just an ‘i feel a little blue because X happened’ rather than this full blown wave of feeling-awful hitting you in the face.

but when i say things like ‘i’m tired and fucked up and i want to die’ i don’t want someone to tell me to get my shit together and tell me how great my life is compared to someone who lives in totally different circumstances. 

maybe i want to vent about it, maybe i don’t. maybe i want to go out and distract myself, maybe i don’t. but no one is in a position to tell me what i want. not in that moment, and not ever. if they want to help me, and i want their help. good. but on my terms. not on theirs. this is me coping, not them.