literally have no idea what this is i just miss them a lot

iwasapruneratfaverolles  asked:

PLEASE TELL THE CHILDREN THE STORY OF MS. STUBELS

Grace fuck, why would you invoke her name like that???

Okay, fine, gather round children, buckle up because we’re going on a bumpy ride back to everyone’s collective least favorite place: 7th grade.

Some background: I went to a very small Catholic school. One class per grade (we were the largest with 19 kids), everyone knew each other whether they wanted to or not. Despite basically every teacher and faculty members insistence that we were The Best And Most Special Class In The School and that everyone loved having us, the longstanding 7th grade teacher Mrs. O’Hara decided to retire in the summer of 2008, meaning the school had to find us a new teacher for the upcoming year. This would be like, the first new teacher in the school in a while, and as she was getting the ‘best class’, it was viewed as a Big Deal. Somewhere in like July or August we got a letter announcing Mrs. Stubel, and it came with a list of books to pick for the summer reading, and that was basically all the information we had.

So…the first day of class. She seems nice enough. Very…ditsy, I guess? It was very easy for her to get herself off topic while talking. She constantly paced around the room, never staying in one spot for longer than a second, complaining she has restless leg syndrome. Which like, I’m sure she did, but she was in the middle of introducing herself and then went on a 20 minute tangent about restless leg syndrome without anyone prompting her. It was almost like you could see her scattered thoughts flying around her head.

So anyone, she eventually gives somewhat of an introduction- she had only taught in public schools before, and kept worrying she ‘didn’t know’ how to teach in a Catholic school despite the entire class insisting literally nothing was different, you just teach the curriculum, twice a week we have religion class with Sister Mary King, that’s literally it (she still talked over us in worry), she told us about her kids, she told us about her obsession with Emily Dickinson, stuff like that.

And then she hands us this worksheet.

She’s like, “Oh, these are just some basic questions for you to answer! Just so I can get to know you guys better!” like in lieu of an icebreaker game, which is fine, but…the questions. The questions were all “What is your most haunting fear?”, “What is your deepest regret?”, “Have you ever experienced the pain of loss?”, “What was your worst injury?”, “What was your worst nightmare?”, all questions like that, and then on the back she wanted us to draw a gravestone and write out what we wanted our epitaph to be.

We were twelve year olds, mind you.

Oh my God and one girl missed the first day because of her grandmother’s funeral, so when she came the next day and saw what the teacher was insisting she do for homework, she almost had a panic attack? And the lady still made her do it? Literally who wants to think about death anymore at a time like that omfg.

Okay, so then we get to the summer reading book reports, right? Now, she had given a list of maybe, 20 books that you could pick from, read it, and then present an oral report on it. You had to have notecards and you had to be able to answer questions from the class at the end. All in all, I’ve had worse projects.

So, on this list, she apparently put Madeleine L’Engle’s entire book series on the list…only she did not make it known that this was a series and not multiple stand alone books, so when reports started up it caused mass-panic of kids trying to put together plot points and make connections on what the hell they had read.

I was the only kid in the class who had chosen to read “A Wrinkle In Time”, and that has since lead to a series of events that…really actually scares me, I’m still incredibly freaked out, I’m not going to get into it right now because it’ll take away from the current story, but just know that I’m not above wondering if it only happened because I read the book for Stubel.

Anyway, so like, I got through the report okay. The class asking questions about it was fine, but the teacher kept asking questions that didn’t make sense, like, at all. My friend Angie has always had super neat handwriting and Mrs. Stubel got like, obsessed with her notecards and asked if she could borrow them for something. When we got our grades back a few weeks later, Angie had points taken off for not having notecards.

And then her teaching just…didn’t happen. She’d never stay on a topic, she’d always get herself distracted! We were not learning anything. And like, this wasn’t a class of advanced smart kids that loved to learn. By all accounts we should’ve been thrilled. But it got out of hand. It got to points where we had to start teaching lessons to ourselves, asking teacher from other grades for help, always coming home in tears, complaining constantly to our parents and the principal because this woman wasn’t teaching us anything. There were two kids who asked her multiple times for extra help, and she told them each time to ‘talk to me after school’, but then she’d leave immediately after school so they wouldn’t be able to talk to her. They finally brought up the issue in the middle of class and she had a breakdown, yelling about how nobody ever thinks that maybe the teacher has a lot of work to do, and maybe she’s entitled to taking off early, but when we tried to argue she shouldn’t schedule meetings and then break them off in the name of relaxation, she stormed out of the room and tried to get the principal to give us detention. (Which, like, our school didn’t even do, and she was the only one in the wrong during this situation) We are still in September at this point, and already at least ten kids have parents considering transferring them to another school. (And remember, there was only 19 of us, and most of the class had been together since preschool, so that was a big deal).

Then, she starts coming in with all the weird bruises. All the Moms™ immediately started gossiping that her husband had to be beating her, and that’s why she was so screwy in the head. But the way she talked about her husband made it seem like he *might* be dead, and we actually did witness her fall and smack her head into a doorknob once, so no one really knew what to believe. (Also, I’m not trying to imply that abuse would make someone crazy or ‘damaged’ or anything, this is just what was being said. I think they were trying to turn her into a more sympathetic character, because if you feel sorry for her you don’t have to hate her for frustrating your kids so much, and Hate Is A Bad Emotion.)

Also…this woman and Emily Dickinson.

She talked about Emily Dickinson every chance she could get. None of us knew who Emily Dickinson really was before she got there and you could see in her mind it was a capitol offense. She found out the curriculum didn’t have room to cover her (because like, we had a text book), and was way too upset about it. She started reading her poems whenever she found the time (usually somewhere in history class), and always gave us very detailed accounts about her dressing up as Emily and reading her poetry at the library.

Now, two things to note here:

  1. The library did not hire her to do this. She would literally just get in the mood, put on an Emily Dickinson costume that she made by herself, drive to different libraries, and just read poetry out loud to everyone there until someone eventually asked her to leave.
  2. The way she described these events…her tone, the look on her face, her posture…you could just tell that she was getting some sort of sexual gratification out of this? Like dressing up as Emily Dickinson in public and reading her sad poems is really what got this lady’s jollies rocking? Got her all hot and bothered? Which is…a lot, but why would you tell a bunch of seventh graders about it holy shit. What about that sounds like a good idea! What about that turns you back on!

So anyway, we learned a lot about Emily Dickinson against our will.

One of the Davids™ was reading a book for pleasure- which shouldn’t have been a shocker, a lot of kids always had books on them, but Stubel got really interested and asked if she could borrow it from him. He was like ‘sure, after I finish it?’ but she took it that day. He asked her for it back for like five weeks straight.

And…the strudels.

Okay, so the school was trying some dorky thing to promote ~togetherness~ or some virtue or something, I don’t remember the specifics of why, but each class had to make a huge themed poster and hang it on the wall outside the classroom. Which was like, whatever, not the most thrilling project but at least it allowed us to be productive vs just sitting there as the teacher runs about the room rambling about her family vacation from four years ago. Mrs. Stubel decided we needed a quirky nickname and after like three days of deliberation we were christened “Stubel’s Special Strudels”!

(points for alliteration or whatever, but no one actually voted for that and what exactly do strudels have to do with Catholicism? It became a big running joke amongst the kids)

Also, in case you were wondering, she didn’t explain the assignment correctly to us- so every other class had like these beautiful, artistic, well-themed and put together posters, while ours was just…literally a bunch of shit thrown together on paper. Nothing fit with each other, it was literally embarrassing to look at.

But then…she wouldn’t drop the strudel thing. Like she kept bringing it up. She got really into strudels and would just tell us random shit about them. Finally, someone jokes that we should get strudels one day for a party (like instead of a pizza party), and she’s Freaking Out and On Board. She really wants to buy us strudels and have a breakfast party now. She talked about it for like two days straight.

So like… you know in school when you would have a pizza party, usually the teacher would buy it? That’s how they always happened in my experience (not counting the last day of 10th grade when some kid had pizza delivered to the school for lunch but it didn’t get there until math class lol). But especially in grade school? Like if it wasn’t a PTA made party that’s super organized, the school would buy the food, right? Right?

Yeah, so she was like, if this is happening you guys need to give me the money. Just give me the money and then I’ll pick them up on my way to work!! And after some arguing some kids are on board. Strudels should only cost a couple dollars right?

And she’s like, oh no, I’m gonna get them from this high end bakery near my house so it’ll be special, but they’re not cheap and it’ll be a big order! I’m gonna need like fifteen dollars from each of you!

And at this point I’m just like…lady. Come on. 

But she keeps insisting. She’s not gonna go until every student in class pays up.

And I’m like…I’m poor. I don’t even like strudel.  And some of the less-naïve kids are siding with me.

And then she pulls that “you guys are just spoiling all the fun for your classmates” shit, like the naïve kids who already paid up, so it gets to the point where we just gotta cave and give her the money.

(I ended up stealing it out of my Crazy Bitch Aunt’s wallet so it’s whatever, I guess.)

And then of course, shockingly enough, every morning she was met with “where are the strudels?” and every morning she went wide eyed, slapped her forehead and yelled in embarrassed horror “I totally forgot! Tomorrow, guys, I promise!”

Honestly, with how scatterbrained and confused she always was…like to this day I can’t tell you with 100% certainty whether she hustled us or was just actually forgetting about the damn pastries, I choose to lean towards the hustled us side because that’s just the type of people I’m used to, but if I found out it was innocent forgetfulness I wouldn’t exactly be surprised.

She couldn’t handle more than one person talking at a time. Like, we’d have break periods, or group work, or something and all the talking made her go wide-eyed and batty. She’d look overworked and anxious and would be darting around the room trying to do work or something but she couldn’t focus and she’d yell at anyone who tried to talk to her directly. I remember one time she was using this boys desk for something so he asked “where am I supposed to sit?” and she snapped “Sit on the ceiling for all I care!”. And this kid was the Class Clown™ , so he immediately grabbed a chair in one hand and started climbing the bookcase to try and reach the ceiling. She’s standing right next to this and doesn’t even notice. He got all four chair legs planted on the ceiling and was trying to somehow maneuver his way into the chair (I really don’t know what the plan was exactly- he was really tall and it was a small building, so I think he probably had the idea that if he can get his body upside down and in the chair, and stretch out his arms like a hand-stand to hold onto bookcase, he could arguably sit on the ceiling.) but he slipped. Crashed into my desk and the two desks next to me, knocked over the book case, broke the chair in half and hit the desks with enough force to knock them down lower. It was hilarious. Everyone was loosing their shit cracking up (he was fine) and it still took Stubel like five minutes to notice his lying out across the desks right in front of her eyes. She was pissed but how did she miss any of it in the first place? She was barely being helpful in whatever it was she was trying to do.

This was the year the Phillies were going to the World Series, and all the grades were having a Phillies Rally in the cafeteria so a news crew was coming to the school and each class was supposed to come up with fun little cheers for them to broadcast. Multiple cheer ideas were presented to her and she vetoed all of them, someone even suggested just singing the damn eagles theme song with replaced words and calling it a day but she vetoed that too, she was very adamant that she could come up with a cheer all by herself and it’ll be the best one (whoever had the best cheer was winning like an ice cream day or something idk). And then like…literally five minutes before the rally she just hands us signs with the letters and was like ‘we’re just gonna spell out Phillies it will be cute won’t it my strudels???’. We were the weakest class there, predictably. I think we lost to the kindergarteners. There might still be a video online of me yelling “ i “ passionately at the top of my lungs. It was online bc our cheer was so bland the news crew cut it out of the broadcast.

I literally can’t say enough about how she never taught us anything. She’d be going on some tangent about how she doesn’t understand the science behind skiing, and I’d be like “Okay yes but please can you just tell me where Romania is on a map???” And she’d start fights whenever someone actually wanted to learn. It was so easy to get her angry but so hard for her to stay on topic. Kids started teaching the class themselves! Like seriously, she’d be rambling and one of us would just go up to the podium, open the teacher’s guide textbook and just start reading out loud and talking over her. By the time she noticed we’d be halfway through a lesson. And we understood it better than when she tried! You know something’s wrong when pre-teens are more qualified for a job than an adult who supposedly went to school for this.

We were in the church having run-throughs for our upcoming Confirmation and she almost set the church on fire…fifteen different times. In less than half an hour. How hard is it to hold a candle?

Okay, and here’s when stuff starts kicking up. It was October 28th, a Tuesday, and it was our last day of school that week because they were having parent-teacher conferences the rest of the week. So we were just hanging out, watching movies in class and reading (lord knows we weren’t learning), and Stubel calls me over to her desk.

So like, she had given everyone little bags with candy for Halloween, but I get up there and she hands me an extra one. And she’s like “Molly I know your birthday is tomorrow and I bought you a present but I left it on my coffee table this morning by accident! So just have the candy for now!”

And I’m like….”Ma’am I’m like, the sixth birthday this year. You didn’t give anyone else presents?”

And she goes “Oh, I know but this is a special secret surprise. I just know you’re gonna love it! Do you wanna stop by my house later this week to pick it up or should I just give it to you Monday after school?”

And like…In writing this sounds like a non-threatening exchange, and like, it was, but I felt so uncomfortable holy shit. I’m looking over my shoulder and shooting my friends SOS signals. Something about this felt so weird in my gut omfg. I told her thanks and I’d just see her Monday.

So we flash forward to Wednesday- my 13th birthday, the day the Phillies won the world series, and also the day my mother innocently strolled into the school for her meeting only to be met with screaming, the sound of heavy destruction, and the school secretary Mrs. Daily running at her in a panic, waving her arms and yelling “YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED GET IN MY OFFICE NOW!”

So my poor mother, who thought she could handle this whole meeting in a few minutes and barely be an hour late for work, is now barricaded in the front office with the school secretary, as the noises from down the hall get louder and louder. The woman explains that they had gotten so many complaints about Mrs. Stubel that this morning, when she got to the school, the principal Sister Patricia called her in and said “Listen, we need you to be professional and still have the parent conferences, but we have to let you go. We just don’t think you fit in well here, and the kids need to come first and feel comfortable in their school.” and like, I’m paraphrasing because I wasn’t there, but we all know she was very polite and professional about it.

Mrs. Stubel, however…was not.

She flipped her chair and stormed out of the office, and locks herself in the seventh grade classroom. She started wrecking the shit out of that place, screaming obscenities and the top of her lungs, they had to call the cops on her! She was locked in there for almost an hour! And let me just give you a nice little list of everything she did in that classroom:

  • Smashed three windows.
  • Threw everything off her desk and carved swear words all over it.
  • Got cleaning fluid that she knew would damage the chalk boards, smeared it all over.
  • Cracked the chalk boards by repeatedly smashing chairs against them.
  • Wrote swear words all over the walls and on desks
  • Went into students desks, ripped up their books.
  • Stole my glasses. (which were in my desk bc I only used them in class at the time)
  • Threw some desks around.
  • Carved swear words into the boards. (there was so much carving I’m assuming she just had a knife on her person, which has to lead to the question, did she have a knife on her while she was in class with us?)
  • Physically ripped the hooks to hang backpacks on out of the wall.
  • Knocked the closet door off it’s hinges.
  • Ripped up all the books in the bookcases and threw their pages all around the room.
  • Wrote lewd phrases inside student’s desks.
  • Broke multiple chairs.
  • Used her podium as a battering ram against the wall that’s in front of where the backpacks go. (the wall won but Damage Was Inflicted)
  • Set a fire in the trash can.
  • When the principal and other teachers started trying to get in, she tossed her rolling chair at the door to scare them off.
  • She was screaming curse words at the top of her lungs the entire time, and cursing the school and the kids and the principal and the church in general, and the school building was small, so all the parents and the smaller children that had to come to the meetings (who were locked in their respective classrooms in fear) heard everything.
  • So much more? But it’s 4:30 in this morning and this list is already long.

So my mom is in the front office and deadass the

entire police force

shows up, running down the hallway to the classroom yelling at her to stop, and it takes a while for them to get her out holy shit. They knocked down the door and she tried to escape out of one of the broken windows! But they got her and dragged her out.

So of course, in such a small school with very involved parents this shit spread like wildfire. The entire town knew within the day. The poor principal called the newly retired old-seventh grade teacher and was like “So we…need some help” and the lady was like “I already heard I’ll be there Monday” omfg. I remember I got a text from one of my classmates saying “if your birthday wish was for us to be set free from the beast I love you” omfg.

So, we eventually go back to school on Monday and everyone’s buzzing. The principal has us go to the cafeteria and she ‘delicately’ explains the situation, and that the old teacher is coming out of retirement for us, the school has a restraining order against Mrs. Stubel now and that she’s sorry we had to deal with this mess. Our classroom had to go under some heavy reconstruction before we could be let back in there, so for like two weeks we alternated between the cafeteria and the preschooler’s classroom, we had no books or anything, just provided loose-leaf paper and pens. It was like, surreal, but everyone was just so happy to be rid of her and to be in the presence of a competent teacher omfg. We eventually were able to get back into our usual classroom.

  1. It took a while for things to go completely back to normal, though. After the big spectacle she made, for weeks after she was fired we were all very scared of the possibility of Mrs. Stubel returning to the school with a gun in hand. It was always a topic we whispered about at lunch with wide eyes and shivers. Like…genuine nightmare scenario.
  2. About two weeks after she was fired, a boy in the back of the classroom gasped loudly during SSR, and when we all looked at him, he whispered in anger “She never gave us our freakin’ strudels!”
  3. About three months after she was fired, we were lined up at the door to go to Library when a few of us looked through the windows and saw something darting through the trees. It was fast and we couldn’t make anything out, so we let it drop. When the class and teacher returned half and hour later, the book she had borrowed months before from one of the boys was sitting on his desk. It was just laying there, the room was silent, nothing had been disturbed…but I have never seen a book look so threatening. People were freaking out. Someone kept insisting that she turned the book into a bomb. No one figure out how she got in the school, and no one could figure out how she got it on the right desk, as we had switched the seating arrangement since she had last been there.  
  4. A full six months after she had left, it was nearing the end of the school year and our class was dicking around during our last computer class. Someone found a website (that we weren’t allowed to be on) that pulls up any police records attached to whoever’s name you enter, so someone decided to search Mrs. Stubel as a joke. We ended up finding out she had like six DUI’s.

Aaaaand that’s the story of the horrendous teacher I had for two months in 7th grade. One of my favorite party stories but tbh she still haunts me™ .

Literally just all the sexual things Alexander Hamilton sent to John Laurens


“I love you.”

This one is pretty self explanatory. Men were much more intimate back in the 1700′s, forming bonds that seem very ~gay~ in today’s light. Homosexuality wasn’t a very understood thing back then because rigid moral codes and censured education prevented people from learning more about sexuality.

 But Alexander Hamilton knew.

 He grew up on an island where ‘Sodomites’ (gay people) were dumped and  allowed to mingle with the island population. Alex knew that there was a certain zone of interactions between men that went from being merely friendly to sexual. He clearly steps into the bounds of sexual while fully realizing it.

“In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I [- - - - - -].”

Ahhhhhhhhh my son Alex, could you be more explicit? Alex here is obviously referring to his something else (you know) with the knowledge that John Lauren’s knows the size. This sentence right here is basically just one long ;).

 “Your friend” seems to be written teasingly, as if they both know how far from friends they are.

And we can only guess how dirty Alex got in those last six  CUT OUT words.

“Dear Boy” [sent by John Laurens]

John laurens calls his wife his ‘dear girl’, and here he calls Alex his ‘dear boy’.  Moreover, Laurens did not call any other man he ever wrote to as his ‘dear boy’. Laurens seems to see Alex as on the same level, if not higher, as his own wife.

“Did I mean to show my wit? If I did, I am sure I have missed my aim. Did I only intend to [frisk]? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend.”

This phrase right here I unfortunately do not see a lot when people talk about Alex and John’s letters. This, to me, is one of the most explicit. “Wit” also mean one’s you know what (here I give a nod to the Ravenclaw moto), so Hamilton’s saying he was pretty much just messing around with John the last letter he sent. This is the only sort of “intercourse” he is able to have with John, as they are both so far apart. He is incapable of ‘sexual’ intercourse because of their distance, so he feels he must, in the 18th century way, sext.

“I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.”

As you might have already guessed, Alex is inviting John to a threesome on his wedding night. The idea that Alex feels so at ease inviting John to a threesome with his wife suggests they have already had something going for a long time now. 

“But like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued. I had almost resolved to lavish no more of them upon you and to reject you as an inconstant and an ungrateful –”

Here Alex compares himself to John’s lover, and a jealous one at that. John seems to be shying away from Alex’s bawdiness, as if realizing how strange their relationships is in retrospect. Alex is scrambling to hang on to him, even though he knows well what are and what happens to Sodomites. He would do anything for John while knowing the consequences. And John is too afraid to join him. And who the hell knows what the last word was.

“And believe me, I am lover in earnest,”

*cough cough* looks like John knows exactly what happens when Alex’s feeling frisky.

“She [Eliza] loves you a l'americaine not a la francoise.”

The French were renowned for their relaxed stance on extramarital love affairs, while Americans were more Puritan-minding and thought love affairs only should happen in church-sanctioned marriages. Thus Eliza has an a l’americaine love of John Laurens, rather than an a la francoise.

“You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiations that I have no invincible antipathy to the maidenly beauties & that I am willing to take the trouble of them upon myself.”

*cough* this sentence is a bit confusing, and could be taken a few ways. What I infer from this is that Alexander Hamilton is willing, and John knows this, to assume an air of femininity because he finds no fault with it. It was commonly noted by people who wrote of Hamilton that he was very feminine in comparison with other men of his day. Alex’s femininity seems to please John, the topic even having been discussed between the two in ‘negotiations’.

“My ravings are for your own bosom” Alex desperately misses Laurens’ intimate contact in a way that, in my opinion, could never be mistaken as simply friendship. Alex literally wants to be held by John. How fucking heartbreaking is that.

“Yrs for ever”

Ok, this one isn’t sexual, but I had to add it because it is so heartbreaking. This was Alex’s last farewell note to John. That is, if he even received it. He died shortly after Alex sent the letter; whether he read the farewell or not is all lost to history. Alex loved John so much, despite the fact that both already had a wife. He would have always loved him, even if they had grown apart…

That’s it folks: time for me to cry.

Some of these will not apply to many people so pls take them with a grain of salt. Also I’ve been collecting these pretty much for the two years I’ve been in college so it’s not a guide, they’re just… random I guess.

Making friends 

Warning - specially tailored for super shy people aka me

  • There’s a thing called the ‘first week window of endless oportunities’. It’s when groups are still forming and everyone’s desperate to make friends. This is the time to put your best self forward (I’m not saying be fake, just a little extra friendly).
  • Leave. Your. Door. Open. Do it. Even if you have a roommate. Best way to make friends the first week.
  • Actually get out of your room. You’re not going to meet many people if you hole up in your room. If you have a tv room or people are watching a movie, I don’t care if you’re not interested in what they’re watching, go.
  • If you have the balls to go to the room nextdoor and introduce yourself then you probably can skip this section by all means do it!
  • But if you don’t, going from door to door asking for help with your laundry takes a lot less courage + you will learn how to do laundry. Asking to borrow something (pencil, hair tie, hair dryer) also works.
  • If you’re staying at a residence hall, ask to sit with people at lunch! Nobody is going to say no, i promise.
  • Similarly if you see someone alone, ask them to have lunch with you! 
  • Also if you meet someone you get along with, as soon as you can, ask for their number ‘so you can go to the dinning hall together’. 
  • Remember people’s names - it makes people feel like you actually care about them. I know it’s hard but make an effort. Also it just gets annoying when someone asks about your name for the fourth time. Use mnemonics if you have to.
  • Asking what someone’s major is and where they’re from is standard procedure when you meet them but it doesn’t make for an interesting conversation. Think of other questions!
  • Make sure to arrive about 10 min early to your classes. There’ll be very few people and so it’ll be easier to strike up a conversation (actually people will probably talk to you without you having to say anything which is g r e a t)
  • Say yes - as a rule of thumb, your social life should prevail over your academic life the first two weeks. This is the time where you’re not really pressed for time. Say yes to watching movies, say yes to going to lunch, say yes to going to campus events (and even to parties). Obviously don’t do anything that makes you really unconfortable but do try to step out of your comfort zone
  • Make friends with an upper-classman from your same major. Or at least be on speaking terms. Talk to them on Facebook, ask them about your major, just use any random idc excuse to introduce yourself, it doesn’t really matter how you do it.
  • Don’t go home every weekend, even if you live close by. You’ll miss out on the best of campus life and some of the most fun memories with your new friends.

Keeping your old friends

  • If you know you’re going home for the weekend, try to finish most of your assignments/studying and make time to hang out with your friends. Spending time with them is the best way to keep those friendships alive. 
  • But! Don’t worry too much if you can’t come home or make time for your friends too often, you just have to make an effort to text them regularly. It will come naturally if it’s your best friend, but don’t forget to set a reminder to text other close friends at least once every two weeks.
  • You may think you don’t care now but you will once you come home for the summer.
  • If any of your friends are staying in your hometown for college, be ready for them to get another friend group. That doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, but don’t be mad if they seem to have a lot more plans that don’t involve you. You can always ask to tag along some time and maybe even become friends with these people!
  • Some people you’ll just lose contact with. Don’t fret it.

Organization

  • Please print out or buy a calendar that has a whole page for each month. With boxes preferably *shameless plug*. You may think you have it all under control but there’s nothing like being able to see all your due dates, hang out plans and laundry days at a glance. (Also js but the pilot frixion are perfect to use on calendars because they’re erasable).
  • There’s so much space under your bed. UTILIZE IT.

Keep reading

shit i remember from my 2007 - 2013 fanfiction.net experiences (before i finally jumped ship for ao3 like everyone else)
  • “don’t like don’t read”
  • uses of the terms “lemon” and “lime” (apparently there was a difference. lemons were porn but i’m STILL not sure what a lime is. i also have NO idea how “lemon” came to mean “porn”. not sure i want to, tbh.)
  • soooo many “i do not own please don’t sue me” disclaimers
  • fics where the whole premise that the whole cast was trapped someplace together and the reviewers would leave questions in their comments and then the characters would answer them in-story. like “ask that guy with the glasses” except shitty and usually self-indulgent towards the author’s preferred ships. (i may have written one of these when i was 12.)
  • authors who legit updated on a schedule (and stuck to it). some every fucking day. (you still see this on ao3, but not NEARLY as much.)
  • fanfic authors who basically had a following and fandom of their own. (again, this still happens, but not as much. not sure if that’s a good thing or not.) not bad considering most of them were 13.
  • “yaoi!!! that means boy kisses!!! don’t like don’t read!!!”
  • putting “————-” or “xxxxxxx” bc ff.net wouldn’t let you insert a horizontal line to show the end of a section
  • very long, very rambley author’s notes
  • some of which had the authors interacting with/talking to the characters in the fic.
  • fics that weren’t so much stories as they were a chapter-by-chapter detailing of all the cliche plots and tropes used in that fandom’s shitty fanfics. (i actually sorta miss these, tbh)
  • songfics. no, not fics inspired by songs. fics where the lyrics were put in between every paragraph, with some lyrics altered to fit the characters. it was horrific.
  • fics that were up-front about the oc being a stand-in for the reader so they can read about themselves getting with their fave character. as in, it was written in second person and the summary outright said the pov character was meant to be the reader.
  • the forums being used for roleplay before tumblr rp was a “thing”
  • long, LONG author profiles, filled with things like “copy/paste if you’re a [whatever] shipper!” or obviously fake sickly sweet anecdotes (think chain email levels of bad), or worst of all (in my opinion), a pro-life anti-abortion story from the point of view of a fetus. it was as bad as it sounds, if not worse.
  • listing all your ships on your author profile page
  • seeing a title that was all lowercase letters and thinking “lazy” rather than “aesthetic”
  • “101 one ways to annoy [insert character here]” (voldemort was popular for these things)
  • it being fucking impossible to find f/f fic that wasn’t porn
  • writing ships as “characterxcharacter” instead of “character/character”
  • author’s notes in the middle of the story. literally you would be reading a fanfic and all of a sudden, in between paragraphs… A/N: awwww isn’t it cute how they’re thinking the same thing!!! XD”
  • for that matter, author’s notes using the XD emoticon
  • people FLIPPING THEIR SHIT whenever their fave author (or just a well-established author in the fandom) changed their username. ESPECIALLY if they changed it from something fandom-specific to something more neutral.
  • “character x/character y. NO CHARACTER X/CHARACTER Z.” bc apparently you think i’d think your fic clearly marked character x/character y would be nothing but character x and character z making out.
  • trollfics trying to capitalize on my immortal’s infamy. there are still trollfics, of course, but they tend to be more subtle. 
  • for that matter, trying to pass a trollfic off as a legitimate fic rather than just admitting it’s a parody
  • specifically reading fics for your notp just to bash it in the reviews
  • people putting replies to reviews for the previous chapter in the author’s notes (this died down a LITTLE once ff.net finally added a reply function, but not much)
  • the great fanfiction.net purge (ahh yes. history lesson time. basically, back in the olden days of fanfiction, when everyone actually used ff.net, one fateful day, back in biblical times – 2011 – ff.net decided to make MA rated stuff – basically porn – not be allowed on the site anymore. ofc people kept posting it anyway, but then ff.net started deleting stories from the website with no notice to the authors. just poof! gone. the aftermath was HORRIFIC. people were FURIOUS, as a lot of people had no backup and just lost their stories. so ff.net stopped enforcing the rule, but the damage was done. this was when people began to officially leave for ao3, i think.)
  • lots of harry potter fanfics about the my immortal versions of the characters interacting with the canon characters. some of these were actually quite funny – i think they’re still around, but i don’t see them as much. (i actually wrote one of these stories. it is still, to this day, the most popular story i ever wrote.)
  • drabbles that were ACTUALLY 100 words long.
  • fictionpress (a sister site for original fiction. it was like wattpad before wattpad was wattpad. it never really took off. come to think of it, i may still have some stuff on there from when i was 12 i need to take down)
  • “crackfics” that consisted mainly of “lulz iM SO RanDOm!!!111!!!!!oneone XD cheeeeeeeese!!!!!!” humor
  • “i suck at summaries”
  • “this is my first story so please be nice”
  • “i’ll only update if i get 10 good reviews”
  • AUs before “AU” was a really widely used term, so the author’s note would have a length explanation for why they had to change things for the story and apologizing over and over instead of just noting the AU in the summary
  • AUs out of laziness rather than for creative/plot reasons (ie, “luna’s a gryffindor in this fic because i couldn’t find another reason for her to be here”)
  • authors notes apologizing for late updates
  • being genuinely shocked when you found a GOOD fanfic
Dating Tom Holland Would Include....

  • Constantly bickering with Harrison on who Tom loves more. 
  • Always winning these fights
  • “Sorry mate, but have you seen her? She’s absolutely stunning.”
  • Having all sorts of adventures with Tom and Harrison
  • Because let’s face it, wherever Tom goes, Harrison follows.
  •  But never really minding because as long as Tom is around, so are you.
  • Tom always making sure that you’re okay. 
  • “You sure, love? Okay. I just want to make sure my girl is happy.” 
  • Him wrapping his arms around you every chance he gets.
  • Calling you every kind of cute nickname in the book because he can never just pick one.
  • “Babe, love, doll, sweetie, beautiful, gorgeous, cutie, honey,” All of them.
  • Sometimes finding himself just staring at you because he can not believe how lucky he is to have you.
  • Having to break up Tom and Harrison’s arguments on who loves you more. 
  • “Enough, you two. I swear you guys are like little kids fighting over a toy, and I am NOT a toy.” 
  • “Course you’re not, babe. But, I do love you more than Haz.” 
  • “I know you do. Why do you think I’m with you.” 
  • Tom leaving you with little notes that he placed everywhere.
  • “Hey babe, I love you!”
  • “Did you know you’re amazing?”
  • “You’re my girl, don’t ever forget.” 
  • “Call me when you find this!” 
  • “I could stare you forever.” 
  • “You’re the first and last person on my mind.” 
  • “I miss you.” 
  • Tom begging you to go with him everywhere because he just doesn’t want to leave you. 
  • “Please come with me.” 
  • “No, Tom. I have to work-”
  • “-but, I’m Spiderman. You don’t have to work.” 
  • “Did you just seriously use that line on me?”
  • “Did it work?” 
  • “Absolutely not, you dork. I love you, I do but I promise I’ll come visit. Okay?”
  • “Fine, but you better.” 
  • Always, always feeling guilty because you know that sometimes he gets a little bit of anxiety and stressed and you seem to be the only remedy. 
  • Flying out on the next flight possible.
  • And immediately all the stress and anxious thoughts are thrown out the window the minute he sees you. 
  • Him always whispering in your ear, “Thank you.” 
  • Always reassuring him that he’s earned all the success in his life.
  • Sometimes feeling a little scared that he’ll forget you with his oncoming fame. 
  • Tom reading you like a book and breaking these thoughts from your head. 
  • “You do know that I love you right? And that I wouldn’t be here without you. I’d be a wreck if I ever lost you. Don’t ever think for one second that I could make it without you.” 
  • Feeling reassured until the next time you felt scared. 
  • Tom always going above and beyond in his gifts for you on birthdays, anniversaries, and just because he want to’s. 
  • Him surprising you with a vacation to a place you’ve always wanted to visit. 
  • Following him basically anywhere and everywhere because he will literally get on his hands and knees to beg.
  • Forcing you to play basketball with him even though you know that there’s a reason why you’re not a pro basketball player. 
  • But always seeming to win.
  • Knowing that he lets you.
  • But never questioning it because it was his way of spending time with you.
  • Spending time with his family.
  • Because in a way, they’re your second family.
  • Tom’s mother commenting on how happy she is that Tom has found himself a wonderful girl.
  • His father agreeing one hundred percent and cracking jokes as to when they should expect the wedding.
  • His brothers always teasing Tom about how much you have him wrapped around your finger.
  • Blushing because you would never want him to be “whipped”, but it’s nice to know that you have that power.
  • Tom clapping back with, “At least I’ve got a girlfriend.” 
  • Laughing when they’d all get into a wrestling match.
  • “If I win, [Y/N] is mine!”
  • “No, if I win, [Y/N] mine!”
  • “Bloody Hell! You gits think you’re actually going to win? [Y/N] will always be mine, whether or not I do lose.” 
  • Going to the gym with him.
  • Getting distracted because by God those muscles should be illegal.
  • Him knowing it and teasing you about it.
  • Always getting back at him by doing anything and everything that shows of your figure.
  • Tom throwing down his weights and attacking you with kisses. 
  • Him always being respectful of your boundaries. 
  • Never pushing you to do things you don’t want to do. 
  • You loving him for it.
  • Knowing that you will eventually let him but just not right now because you’re not ready.
  • And him being perfectly okay with that.
  • Sparring with him.
  • Tom being beyond impressed at your skills.
  • Telling you everyday how much he loves you.
  • Begging him to take you to go get icecream even though he can’t really have any.
  • Scolding him when he says, “fuck it,” and gets himself some. 
  • “You’re trainer is going to be pissed.”
  • “So what.” 
  • Shaking your head and enjoying your icecream date with him.
  • Taking Tess out for walks together.
  • Taking a million pictures of her because she’s just so damn cute.
  • Lazy days with Tess
  • Cuddling the poor dog into suffocation until she can’t take it anymore and leaves.
  • Leaving you two clinging onto each other.
  • Tom leaving trails of kisses along your forehead.
  • Holding you tight.
  • Falling asleep in each other’s arms. 
  • Waking up in the middle of night, panicking because your parents are going to freak out.
  • Tom shooting out of bed to get you home.
  • Him trying to help you sneak into your house without your parents waking up.
  • Him mumbling that the two of you should just move out together.
  • Telling him that it would be a good idea but to talk about it later.
  • Tom always gushing about you in interviews.
  • Always being his plus one to the films you want to see.
  • Introducing you to your favorite actors.
  • Getting embarrassed when Robert Downey Jr. finally gets to meet you.
  • “SO, this is the girl you never shut up about? It’s about damn time I finally meet her. [Y/N], it’s so lovely to meet you. I feel like I practically know you with the amount of stuff Tom has told me about you.” 
  • Also getting a little embarrassed but not as embarrassed as when fans stop you on the streets.
  • Getting panicky because you’re just waiting for the hate.
  • But being surprised when it’s nothing but love and awe.
  • Agreeing to take pictures with them and asking to take one of them so you can put it on Instagram as well. 
  • Speaking of Instagram, Tom is forever posting sly pictures of you. 
  • You are literally all over his page.
  • But, it’s okay because he is all over yours.
  • You’ve been trending on #couplegoals for days
  • Threatening Tom with his life if he doesn’t stop posting the selfies you send him. 
  • Him not caring.
  • “I’ll take my chances, babe.”
  • Getting him back on snapchat with the crazy filters.
  • Agreeing to tone down the embarrassing pictures. 
  • But one or two always comes leaking out and you are forever mortified. 
  • Starting a prank war. 
  • You always seeming to have better pranks.
  • Feeling bad and deciding to call it off but not before Tom gets you really good. 
  • Laying out under the stars and talking about the future.
  • Telling each other that as long as you have each other, the future can bring whatever it wants.
  • Tom surprising you with a promise ring. 
  • “We’re both still really young and I know a lot of people our age are getting married but I just can’t imagine getting married at this moment. But at least with this, it’s a promise that you will have my last name, just not right now.” 
  • You accepting it because there is not a damn soul on this earth aside from Tom that you could see yourself with.
Cute Bus Stop Guy

Sterek, Teen, 2K words, Meet Cute AU


Stiles groaned and took a very long swig from his travel coffee mug as he hitched his messenger bag up higher on his shoulder. It was barely eight in the morning, and consequently, he could barely keep his eyes open. He was a grad student for fuck’s sake, and it was understood that in order to make up for the shitty stipend and the whole working-around-the-clock thing, he got to sleep in until 10. At least. After all, if he was up until 3 working, it was only fair. But noooo, his advisor—fuck you, Finstock—had insisted on an early meeting today.

He passed the bus stop and realized that at least he was lucky in that he lived close enough to campus that he could walk instead of dealing with public transportation at rush hour. Small condolences, really, though.

He yawned and accidentally bumped into someone walking past him. Stiles tried to apologize, but the word got stuck in his throat when he opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of the person he’d nearly knocked over. He was about Stiles’ height but bigger, all broad shoulders and muscles capped off by really great hair and an unfairly attractive face. “Uh.”

The guy gave him a curt little nod and neatly sidestepped him, continuing on his way. Stiles snuck a look over his shoulder, and yep, the rear view in those tight slacks was pretty good, too. The guy stopped at the bus stop, leaning against the sign, and Stiles sighed. It was a dreamy sigh, even he could admit that.

He had a feeling he was going to become a morning person.

Keep reading

Alright, so, I’ll start this off by saying I am honestly not an expert on Kakyoin, contrary to popular belief (I’d actually consider myself more of an expert on Jotaro’s character, if anything), but I’m going to do my best to give my views on Kakyoin’s character, as well as some canon evidence to support it, and hopefully it will help a bit.

If you want a great reference of how to write Kakyoin in fic, go read Sand, sand and more sand on AO3, because it’s honestly one of the best depictions of Kak I’ve ever read, and he’s quite close to canon.

*ahem*

Kakyoin is pretty snarky. He’s subtle about it, but he’s also kind of a shithead. He’s polite most of the time, but it seems to be more of a setting he defaults to when he doesn’t feel entirely comfortable around the people he’s with. We have quite a few quips from him as examples of this, such as him laughing at andd mocking Anne during the dark blue moon arc, and saying she couldn’t possibly be the stand user on board, and in the Geb and N'Doul fight where he orders Polnareff to attack the canteen because he “doesn’t want to”. He also at one point responds to Polnareff saying “this looks bad!” with, “well it most certainly isn’t good.”

He’s blunt, but this also means that he’s honest. He dislikes liars, and prefers that everything is set out before him clearly and plainly as opposed to someone that is clearly dancing around the subject.

He also seems like quite the know-it-all, and likes being right; and he’s probably the type to argue with someone even if he knows he’s wrong. He seems to genuinely enjoy teaching the crusaders about the culture of all the places they visit on their journey, and he has the ability to retain all of that information to recant to them, as well. It seems to be somewhat of an interest of his.

And then there’s this, of course…

The cherry thing is something that kind of bothers me in fandom and fic. Yes; Kakyoin says that cherries are his favourite fruit. Child Kakyoin has cherries on his shirt (keep in mind that the scene with child kakyoin is added in my DavidPro and is not technically canon). BUT, it doesn’t mean that he has to have everything cherry-related. It’s a seriously overused trait in fandom to the point that it just becomes annoying. Kak can have a coffee without it having to be cherry flavoured. Just remember that he canonically enjoys lots of different foods, and that he doesn’t need to exclusively eat cherries and cherry flavoured things. He probably likes to eat foods from all different cultures.

Video games: There is evidence to suggest that Kakyoin spends a LOT of time playing F-Mega, however, this doesn’t mean that his extreme knowledge of the tracks and mechanics applies to every video game in existence. He’s a teenager, with no friends in the 80’s, of course he’s going to spend time playing video games. But back in the 80s, people often only had one or two games, so it’s likely that he has simply replayed F-Mega a LOT, to the point of knowing it by heart. I know the levels of Mario 3 extremely well, simply because I played them over and over again as a kid. If you are fixated on a single game for extended periods of time (especially if it’s the only game you own), you are of course going to know the game well. Knowing a lot about a single game does not mean that he’s obsessed with video games, and does not necessarily mean that he’s a shut-in, and never goes outside.

Also keep in mind that he says that he’s “pretty good at video games”. He doesn’t claim to be great at them, and since we’ve already established that Kakyoin is quite blunt, it would be out of character to assume that he’s being humble here. He literally means that he’s just “pretty good” at them. No more, no less.

His real-world experience is vast, and it’s also mentioned that his parents take him many places on vacation. He’s been to a lot of places, and retains cultural knowledge. It’s not as if he’s read it in books: he’s actually been to these places before, and he mentions it frequently. This suggests that he gets out quite a bit, and also kind of suggests that maybe he isn’t quite the model student type in school.

Kakyoin doesn’t appear to be the honours student & straight A’s type. He doesn’t think twice about skipping out on his new school to travel to Egypt, and as I said before, his knowledge appears to come more from first-hand experience rather than school studies (and I bet he missed more than a few of his classes due to the trips that he and his parents took). He’s a know-it-all, but it doesn’t mean that he does well in school.

On the other hand, Jotaro IS a model student, despite his delinquent status. It’s more likely that Jotaro would be the one helping Kakyoin with his homework.
(He might disrespect his teachers, but he still gets good grades, and let’s not forget that he becomes a marine biologist later in life.)

Kakyoin’s profile also mentions that he “appears very effeminite”. This is another thing that is often misinterpreted. His appearence may be somewhat feminine, and he takes pride in how he looks, but his personality and mannerisms are not inherently feminine.

He hates being forced into submission, and this is the reason why he despises Dio so much. Dio took advantage of his vulnerability and the fact that Kak didn’t have any friends to use him as his pawn. He drew Kak in, made him feel wanted, needed, and then took control of his mind and body.

“He appears to be very effeminate. In reality, he despises submitting to people or sucking up to them.” - Taken directly from his canon personality description.

Another thing that people seem to miss is the fact that he’s extremely sadistic. He says himself that Heirophant “loves nothing more than to rip things to shreds” and that it might “drive him mad with joy”. He likes being in control of the situation, remember. He probably hates losing fights, as well (especially since he could be considered a weakling for losing).

Kakyoin also seems to like Baseball, judging by his profile naming a favourite team, and sumo, as we all know from his exchange with Jotaro.

One of the things that fandom does definitely get right, is Kakyoin being the mother hen of the group. He’s taken on the role of the responsible one, because Joseph is… far from being an adult. He’s strategic and thinks everything out logically, and so is the mature one of the group, especially after Avdol’s “death”. He appears to be content to follow Joseph, but when it’s needed, he steps up and becomes the leader in his place. This is seen when Jotaro, Joseph and Polnareff start physically fighting random men that they suspect are the one in the Wheel of Fortune car, to which he says that, “this is not a good idea,” and that it’s, “getting out of hand”. It’s also seen in the tower of grey fight where he mentions that it’s better that he fights on the plane, because he’s the least destructive of the bunch (even though he’s capable of blasting holes into clock towers, apparently his emerald splash isn’t destructive; okay Kak…).

He’s also fiercely protective of his friends, and extremely loyal as well. Kakyoin isn’t the type to abandon his friends in any circumstance.

He’s a CASANOVA. While Jotaro draws more unwanted attention from girls due to his bad boy façade, Kakyoin is slick and smooth with them, so much so that they notice him more over Jotaro. He’s quick to diffuse the situation when Jotaro pushes the girls aside (again, in the tower of grey arc), and it’s just… yes.

Just look at this. You can bet your ass he’s not the type to blush and stutter as he’s confessing. Straight up grabbing the girl and apologizing for Jotaro. Smooth as butter.


Here are some other scenes that might be able to explain his character a bit better as well:

Mouthing off to Joseph- Jotaro approves.

This line is wonderful. (Again, to Joseph? It’s almost like they have this kind of rivalry going on, haha)

Some really good insight to his character and motivations (And one of my favourite Jotakak moments).

The anime kind of makes this out to be a sort of “Kakyoin mocking Polnareff” scene, but in the manga he seems like he’s just stating what he heard. Pretty matter-of-fact about the whole situation.

Unimpressed.

I believe that this is the first moment that Kakyoin really realizes that he and any of his companions can die at any moment. Avdol has been shot, and he’s in complete shock. This is a normal teenager that’s now painfully aware of the danger he’s putting himself in to help out Jotaro and Joseph. Sure, he realized that he would be involved in fights, and a little blood would be shed for the greater good, but I don’t think he had realized up to this point that he might actually die.

And here’s Kakyoin’s character bio.

It’s also notable that he didn’t tell his parents where he was going prior to leaving. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s in bad standing with his parents (especially since his dying thoughts were of them), and could possibly be because he didn’t want to worry them, or something of the sort, but the fact remains that he didn’t tell them beforehand. Take from this what you will.

So yeah, this is what I get from Kakyoin. He’s kind, loyal to a fault, and deeply in love with Jotaro– and he’s a pretty complex character to write. Don’t feel like you need to take all of this into account, because it’s hard to keep his entire character intact with fanfiction. A lot of his personality comes across in facial expressions, so it’s sometimes difficult to translate that into non-visual media. Just refer back to canon if you aren’t sure of something, and you should be fine. Good luck!

anonymous asked:

What do you think were the best nalu moments in this arc so far?

Hmm~ This is a good question!  I had to go back quite far for this one, but I think you’ll like it!  It’s gonna be a long answer, so let’s get started!

First off, we have Natsu coming back from his year long training session:

I mean, in the entirety of chapter 418 we see just how much Lucy misses Natsu (and Happy too of course), but in this page, you can see how happy she is that he’s back.  She looks almost relieved (not that she wasn’t thriving on her own, but she had a hole in her heart).  Natsu looks ecstatic to see Lucy (we even get a little blush).

Moving on to chapter 419 (don’t worry, I won’t be going through every chapter like this lmao) but OH MY GOD LOOK.  Natsu had no idea how hard Lucy was working and how broken she was losing Aquarius, everyone, and HIM all at once.  I think this is where he truly understood her pain whether he knew all the details or not.

Also, how can we forget how “first chapter” this page is.  It’s almost like Lucy can’t believe it.  He’s back and so is Fairy Tail.

Here, it’s pretty clear that Natsu has learned how much him leaving as well hurt her.  I think this is v important for their relationship…  Which they still have yet to “resolve” though I don’t think Natsu leaving was entirely “selfish”.

I think here Natsu is trying to gain Lucy’s trust again.  To prove himself to her, and honestly I believe that this scene is very intimate between them and the way their relationship is.  Not so much romantically, but their trust in each other.

We also get a LOT of scenes of both Natsu and Lucy reacting like this to one another… 

Hmmm…

Okay, okay I know, I’m nitpicking everything- HOW CAN I PICK JUST A FEW FAVORITES??  But alright, I’m going to get into general, overarching moments that I think are the best and really love!

There is A LOT under this break and there are also spoilers of the latest chapters!!  Please read with caution :)

Keep reading

characterization, filters, and characterization to be found in the lack of filters

Talking about Jane earlier got me thinking, you know, Jane is not at all the only character that uses this device to show off the less desirable traits lurking in the psyche of all these damaged teens. Like. So many characters have these lurking deep seated issues that stay hidden deep down because the characters are pretty good at projecting a less damaged and more together version of themselves. 

If that sounds familiar it’s because it’s a fucking outrageously relatable quality and part of what makes the Homestuck characters RESONATE so much. Why they feel like they have all this dimension and depth that makes us grab on to them and never want to let go. 

I’m just going to run through some examples here while I’m thinking about it. The first OBVIOUSLY since thinking about her is what got me going on this – Jane. Crockertier Jane removing the layers of self-imposed filter on Jane’s festering insecurity, entitlement issues, jealousy and so on. I’ve already talked enough about that today.

Grimbark Jade! You notice Jade says what she’s thinking WAY more easily while she’s mind controlled, and she still sounds like herself – she sounds kinda like she does when she’s owning Karkat repeatedly, doesn’t she? Because angry Jade has that same effect of pushing her nice girl filter aside and letting the angry witch (not a cutesy slur, her literal witch class) within fly free. Grimbark Jade tells us that behind that nice girl front Jade Harley actually thinks some pretty uncharitable thoughts sometimes, she just keeps a tight fucking lid on it because – well, don’t most people? Relatable as fuck. 

Jadesprite! Since we’re talking about Jade anyway. Jade likes to think she has everything together, that her visions from Skaia and her scientific prowess and the tools her Grandpa left her are more than enough to handle everything that comes her way, she’s independent, she’s capable, she’s certainly never LONELY oh no of course not certainly never CRUSHINGLY OVERWHELMED by the responsibility of her own existence nah those are weak feelings for weak girls who aren’t as awesome as Jade! And then – Jadesprite. Why do you think Jade got SO ANGRY at Jadesprite? Because she was being confronted with something she knew deep down was a reflection of weaknesses in herself (totally normal ones that her later arc reinforced were a mistake to pretend weren’t there – Loneliness and fear and regret are all tied in with Jade’s character progression and learning how to deal with those things is where I imagine her arc would have gone if Homstuck’s ending hadn’t been the literary equivalent of chopping off a limb and cauterizing the wound.) Jadesprite is Jade without the filter of implacable strength Jade imposes on herself to fuckin cope with living on a hell island with the stuffed corpse of her grandpa who she grew up thinking literally killed himself at BEST.  god damn

Davesprite. Dave Strider with a slow long agonizing depressing arc wherein he realizes his coolkid persona won’t make anyone think of him as their best friend anymore, and in the absence of the security that persona afforded him when he was The Real Dave he has no idea what to do with himself. He’s lost, he feels aimless, untethered, incapable of being happy – and yes, Davesprite is his own character, but you can still infer a lot from Dave’s character about him – for instance, how he completely ties his self worth up in how useful he is to his friends or how worthwhile they find him and has no idea how to even BEGIN the hard journey of looking within for worth instead of relying eternally on changeable external sources. Davesprite is Dave not WITHOUT a filter but certainly with a VERY DIFFERENT one.

Homestuck does this with almost every single damn character on its roster at some point. Shows a version of them with a different or lesser or completely missing filter to highlight flaws and issues and internal struggles of all kinds. 

Homestuck is a damn deep dive into an exercise about analyzing nature vs nurture and what we’re predisposed to do and what comes from within and what is put upon us by forces out of our control, and how that line is blurry and messy and everyone has the potential to be either the worst or best version of themselves. Even Caliborn was given a choice. Hussie-The-Character explained it to him at great painstaking length. 

There are so many other examples. Jasprose is Rose without a filter, and the way Jasprose goes around gleefully calling every hot girl she sees hot and delighting smugly in knowing more than just about anyone else and lording over the information and playing smarter-than-thou games – that tells us a LOT about Rose! A LOT about what sort of urges Rose tamps down on every day in an effort to just be fucking cool! 

I bet you have things like this with yourself, right? Doesn’t everyone?

Tricksters! Look at how they act. They’re not themselves but there is plenty to glean from them. Jane immediately goes for Jake, the object of her desire, to pursue an exaggerated version of her idealized future. Trickster Jake is a passive fucking ragdoll who immediately acquiesces to everything everyone demands of him because their happiness becomes his happiness – Jake hates confrontation, so Trickster Jake is just a fucking doormat. Roxy goes for Jake AND Dirk because divorced from the guilt she normally feels for harboring desire toward either one of them she knows exactly what she wants! ETC ETC. Of course they would never do any of this shit if they weren’t high as balls and incapable of understanding the meaning of the word “consequence.” That’s the point. Seeing what they do in this situation is an interesting window in!

Brain Ghost Dirk is a version of Jake (yes, of Jake, not Dirk) without a specific filter Jake runs his own personality through before he’s comfortable presenting it to others, and you’ll notice, it’s EXTREMELY biting and critical sometimes. Jake knows what he’s about. He just buries it most of the time because that’s easier than dealing with it. 

I could seriously keep going. 

Homestuck loves to show us what our favorites do and say and ARE when basic filters go out the window. Those filters that most of us employ to make other people believe we don’t all have intrusive thoughts or bad desires or just plain old weaknesses we’re ashamed of and want to keep hidding at costs – or that we occasionally think things or think about doing things we would never ever ever do in real life are demolished or changed or temporarily suspended. 

It’s brilliant tbh. It lets us see facets of characters that would normally never really get full spotlight reveals by their very nature, especially with protagonists. 

Vriska vs (Vriska) – (Vriska) is just Vriska with some more self awareness and more willingness to let down her self-imposed filter and actually examine the shit she wants and why because watching Aranea fuck the timeline over out of motivations eerily similar to her own hardcore shook her enough to develop in that direction. (which makes sense since HER original motivations are copying Mindfang who IS alt-aranea lmao I love Homestuck)  (Vriska) is still Vriska, it’s just a very very different lens through which to view her character. 

blah blah blah blah etc there are so many examples

anyway I love Homestuck and good character writing what up

anonymous asked:

Do you think they're going to end up killing Shiro just like in the original?

I really don’t, and my answer has surprisingly little to do with how much I like Shiro and am rooting for him. I have a lot of thoughts on this so I’m going to break them into categories.

This turned into a monster of a post, but, hopefully that’ll help people sleep at night a little better?

Keep reading

The Anti-Myth Masterpost

Out of sheer boredom and frustration, I’ve compiled a list of dumb things antis say and some facts to contradict them. Though I don’t think antis actually pay attention, they just vomit nonsense and never stick around for a rebuttal, here goes nothing anyway. Because I am tired of seeing good, pure people being harassed and sent death threats by these crazies. So here we go.

Anti-Myth: Otayuri is pedophilia.

Fact: Pedophilia is legally defined as attraction to or sex with a minor under the age of 13

Anti-Myth: Yurio is still a minor.

Fact: Yurio is now 16, the legal age of consent in Russia. He and whatever partner he chooses, as long as his partner is over the age of 16, is within their legal right. 

Anti-Myth: 16 year olds brains are not developed enough to comprehend sex.

Fact: A 16 year old can understand sex. Hell, even a 15 year old can. Teens at 15 or 16 hop into bed with older teens all the time–even I did. It’s actually normal. Plus, 16 is a far more common legal age of consent in the developed world anyway, this is not some perverted law by Russia and Kazakhstan, it’s actually very very normal. Even in Canada, 16 is the legal age of consent. If you’re American, respect your own laws, but we’re talking about A. fiction, and B. another country.

Anti-Myth: Otabek is too old for Yurio.

Fact: Otabek is literally 2.5 years older than Yurio. They’d literally be a junior and senior in high school, which happens all the time. It did with me, it did with countless others, and none of us were being abused. Plus, Otabek is not technically an adult, he’s still a teen himself. Same with JJ, if that is your ship. 

Anti-Myth: Shippers are disgusting because they are forcing Yurio into a sexual relationship and don’t respect their friendship.

Fact: Dude, if you want to see them as platonic friends, go ahead, no one is stopping you. Secondly, I’ve never met a shipper who doesn’t enjoy their friendship as being the stable building block of their relationship. For you, the relationship stops there. For us, we go on to see them as starting a romance after they’re ready. It’s all about the friendship, we just add to it.

Anti-Myth: Shippers like to sexualize 15 year olds. 

Fact: Well, maybe a few do. I mean, that’s what happens in big fandoms, you get some bad apples, especially if they come from countries themselves where the consenting age is 14 or something. But many, many shippers do not. They usually ‘sexualize’ Yurio when he’s a little older, or like to imagine him a little older when he starts becoming intimate. Plus it’s not just us, the creators and animators of the show have been sexing up Yurio for months now in official art, and with WTTM flashing his nipples and abs–I mean, don’t blame us.

Anti-Myth: Otayuri conditions children to think pedophilia is normal.

Fact: First of all, no it doesn’t. Yet again, pedophilia is any relationship where one is over the consenting age, and the other is under the age of 13. Which is not happening here. It may give them the impression that 16/18 is normal, and yeah it is, especially in many developed countries. If you have a problem with that, take it up with them, not us. This really should not be a hard concept. Also it’s FICTION. Do people jump into bed with their siblings after watching Game Of Thrones? No, because they’re not idiots. Not everything is based on American laws. This is an anime, written by a Japanese woman, made in Japan, and a lot of anime sexualizes young teens. No otaku I know of are hoping into bed with kids because of anime, unless they were already pedophiles. It doesn’t develop with a goddamn cartoon.

Anti-Myth: I’m uncomfortable with this ship because when I was younger I was abused by–

Fact: Okay, stop right there. I will try and explain this the best way I can. Whatever happened to you in your past is tragic and I do sympathize (one of my cousins was abused when she was younger so I know the horrors of dealing with that), but I’m sorry, it has nothing to do with shipping two teenagers. You’re imagining abuse, despite nothing canonically abusive happening. Otabek would never hurt Yurio. He’s no pervert. See, Americans who prey on 15 and 16 year olds do so because they KNOW it’s illegal. That’s why they do it. But if you’re from a country where, once again, the legal age of consent is 16, there is no abusive mindset. It’s normal behavior. There is no perversion or predatory behavior, because it’s not illegal. I do understand you being uncomfortable and it bringing up memories for you, but the reality of the situation is there is no actual abuse, and you really must try and understand that. This is literally like saying I can’t post pics of dogs because you were bit once, and that I’m condoning you being bit or something. It’s not true, nor is it fair to me, I just like dogs. But I do hope you find peace in your life.


All this being said, I will admit I use to be an anti myself. For about ten minutes, until I realized all this stuff and I knew I was being silly. And hey, there is a good chance Otayuri could become canon after everything we’ve seen, so it’s a good idea to be prepared for that by trying to understand these points I’ve made. It’s not too late to see things differently and to be a decent human being.

Markiplier Theory: Markiplier’s Egos are trying to take over through TV- but why?

But Dark isn’t the one who’s the top power. He’s on the other end. He’s just the other guy who’s controlling the meeting.

The other one was standing. Wilford Warfstache. And by visual, that means he’s controlling the team. He’s the one manning the ship. And by technicalities, that means he’s the one fueling the movement of the egos, since in meetings the one who’s standing is the project head. 

Dark wanted to take control, but failed all the time. He literally cracks all the time when he possesses Mark. The real ending with ADWM is that he doesn’t even win. You still get the ‘retry’ option after it because it’s not the ending that you’re supposed to get. He’s still defeated.

Dark reinforces his admiration to Wilford in the video. He says “Look. Will. I respect you. I always had.” He turned to Wilford because he’s not the one who could do it. 

Wilford has always been a seamless character, no problems in confronting Mark head-on. He has been on TV for so many times (though ending in a bad way). Wilford has interviewed Mark, Slenderman, FNAF guys, and all. He has the most power out of all the egos. 

Take note he’s the base character/ego. He’s literally the one on Mark’s profile pic forever. 

Wilford hijacks the game that was initially for Bim Trimmer. He hijacks the Bubbles commercial. He’s the one presenting the idea to everyone. And his idea is amazing. Because TV isn’t only for TV anymore.

You can get TV shows through the internet. TV is the main media- you get news, you get drama, movies, et cetera. And now the egos are targeting that.

This also implies Wilford got every, single possible ego to help him in the endeavor. It might have been lost in Dark’s eyes (he’s not one for entertainment. He doesn’t get it. But he still concedes because it’s Wilford.) There were new egos introduced here.


Now: Everyone’s roles in the TV Industry

Game Show Segments: Bim Trimmer. He was the one who decided the game, and hosts on weird conditions. He had the Disc of Riches, and most probably others too.

Commercials/Advertisements Segments: Ad Mark (probably akin to Scent O’ Iplier advertisement) is seen and heard in the Bubbles segment.  Ed Edgar Adopt-a-Lot, who was supposed to have a “30 second segment, barely getting 5”. He wants the money. 

Movies/Series: Silver Surfer. What’s the most prominent series right now? It’s usually the ones with heroes. He says “he took a break from crime fighting to pursue entertainment”. He’s the one that’s going to star in those series, usually on Netflix. Another one, akin to “House, Grey’s Anatomy, etc”, Dr. Iplier is going to be the star. He says “I came across as a professional and handsome actor.” Let it be known that the ‘hit’ looks for doctors are hot ones- which Dr. Iplier readily knows. However it is to be noted that Septiplier is an actual ego (lol) which might have been a romantic segment for a series.

News: The Jims. Both are Jims- Jim the head newscaster, and the weather reporter. This means that they are literally broadcasting, not only to TV, but on radio and newspaper as well. The other Jim was on the Sun as well. This implies their range of power. Probably has connections all over the world because of their status of being reporters.

Music: Mark Bop. Akin to MTV, this one is targeting the music industry. He’s alive and bringing back the classics, and most probably going to make more. He’s doing revivals, he’s going to dominate.

Reality TV: Possibly the only one that was intended to where the ‘real’ Mark and the team were supposed to show up. They are shown as the ‘actors’ of their ‘roles’- with Mark as Markiplier, Amy as Peebles, Kathryn as Editor, Tyler as Apocalypto_12, and Ethan as Crankgameplays. (This still means that Wilford got them to do this for Markiplier TV.)

— Also the segments of “Bad Dog” can be compared to those series you’d see on AXN, like Breaking the Magician’s Code. Mark ‘crying’ and the subscriber drop is a close second here, most probably those series with “Living with the…” titles. It is important to note that Kathryn was also there at Wilford in the Disc of Riches, where the whole team was. It might be speculated that the Teamiplier are just actors, and Tyler just acted dead because it’s obvious Wilford didn’t really have bullets when it sounded, and Kathryn was more of the behind-the-scenes type.—-

Other possible TV segments: Informational-Probably like Nat Geo, King of the Squirrels might be in this part, however he is shown to be out of the meeting- possibly because it’s a so-so segment. Wilford doesn’t know what to do yet with him, alongside the many other missing egos. Talk Show- maybe more directed to Wilford or Bim Trimmer.

Technical Run Through: Google. He’s the one who keeps them at bay, to let them remember their ‘primary objective’. With his role in the meeting room, it can be assumed that he is the one holding the technical stuff- when the episodes air, how the lighting is, cameras are placed, etc. This also means that whatever is shown on TV will be uploaded on the internet. It will be easily accessible. Alongside him is The Author, now known as The Host. He tells how everything goes in how the things should go. He’s the scriptwriter. He’s the director. He literally is a host to the people watching Television. Without the structure of a show, how does one run? Without the audience’s help, how does a show follow through? Without good mediums, who will like it? That’s his job.

Now, Dark and Wilford are the acting CEOs. They don’t necessarily have the segments, but that mean they are the ones who are going to control the whole operation. Dark’s probably like the ‘president’ and Wilford is the ‘CEO’ of Markiplier TV. (President: Second-in-command. CEO: owner, chief). Usually the CEO who is on screen more than the president, which makes sense in this way.


Now, what do you guys think?

anonymous asked:

teachers au? where marauders + lily all work at the same school? just an idea after reading ur camp au. love ur writing lots, ur super talented x

  • sirius keeps making fun of james for being That English Teacher™ that makes everyone read the book because ‘sixteen year old prongs would fuckin hate you mate’
  • lily has pot plants on her desk but they’re always dying
  • it’s a school meme how often remus hits his head on low doorways
  • james and lily frequently argue about who has the best class while standing over their stove eating rice out of the pot
  • remus teaches history and james spends half his time trying to convince him to take a lunch break
  • someone keeps stealing james’ whiteboard markers and putting them in the photocopier and hes sure its sirius but its actually lily
  • peter is the I.T guy who never knows whats wrong with the internet
  • lily has to put a dollar in the jar every time she says how much she loves graph paper and the money goes towards, as the label says, ‘getting sirius a haircut or maybe moony a sense of style’  
  • they all eat together in the staffroom but remus wont share his tic-tacs and james is the only one who can make lily’s tea right
  • Sirius is that weird substitute that you think you won’t have to do anything with and then you’re in chemistry with goggles on while he tells you to shut your eyes because this wasn’t on the instruction sheet but he did see it on mythbusters once
  • lily keeps going in really close to james’ face like shes going to kiss him and then at the last minute just whips out a calculator and whispers ‘embrace maths’
  • sirius keeps coming to remus’ class dressed as historical figures even though remus literally never asked
  • for their anniversary james gets a lily a bouquet of rulers and puts them in water and she stares at them forever when she walks into the kitchen. no boy has ever been as sweet as hers.
  • the carpet in lily’s classroom reaks of canola oil because of a terrible sirius prank that peter doesn’t let them talk about
  • remus hates highlighters for some reason so naturally every year james buys him an industrial pack of 200 for his birthday
  • sirius isn’t allowed to speak at school assemblies anymore ever since he blasted ‘gasolina’ while Al Gore’s climate change documentary silently played on the projector and no one could figure out how to turn it off
  • lily reads the great gatsby for james and hates every minute of it and she reminds him of this when they’re in bed and he’s hogging the covers
  • ‘listen here bitchman i read that fucking piece of romantised toilet paper for you so give me back my fucking sheet’
Lie to me? Steal my work? Have fun going from 52K a year to minimum wages.

(warning: long story)

Takes place back in 2014, long read with a lot of buildup to revenge. I was about a year into my job and was being recognized for my talents and promoted pretty regularly. I was constantly being used as the liaison between my company and the client companies we had business and contracts with, and literally have saved our contract companies hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Then I was approached by Amy, who was in another department, for a job opportunity in the next month or so. She was going out on medical leave and was going to train me to take over her position in the interim and then fully take it over once she came back and moved into a new role. I was ecstatic because I knew she had a salary position and that’s what I really wanted. Most of the salaried positions in the company were the kind you had direct reports and in my industry there is a lot of stupid and handholding so I was not looking forward to have to deal with that stuff, but here was this angel offering me the salary I wanted and the stepping stone I wanted to get further in the company, all without having to deal with stupidity on a daily basis! So for the next 3 weeks I’m pulled from my current duties about twice a week to train in her position. In the beginning it was really menial stuff to get aquatinted with her department but then we started getting into the bigger Excel stuff. Now her job was 90% Excel based, but in having her teach me her job and the duties and deadlines for certain things I realized she was basically flying by with basic Excel knowledge (I’m taking formulas to do math and VLOOKUPs were the majority of what she used in EVERYTHING). Now I was really okay with it and knew I could bring a lot more to the position with my knowledge and really help out the management team and showcase my expertise to them.

Keep reading

but a B99 Great British Bake Off AU

obviously this involves it being an American edition/season but that’s fine

  • all of the squad are contestants, as well as like, Doug Judy and a couple of others (maybe Figgis just for laughs idk)
  • Holt and Wuntch are the judges, Kevin and the Vulture are the presenters
  • Wuntch, weirdly, is the nice judge for the most part, cos it’s mainly just Holt she hates, Holt is the tougher judge that everyone wants a handshake off
  • they never agree on anything, coming to decisions is a NIGHTMARE which is how Kevin and the Vulture are unofficial judges behind the scenes
  • the Vulture is his usual awful self, slaps Jake’s ass off camera a lot, genuinely makes him really uncomfortable until Gina and Rosa notice at one point and threaten him until he agrees to stop
  • Kevin is the presenter who goes around and reassures people when they are freaking out
  • also he and Holt met in a baking class back in the day which is part of the reason they love baking so much (they bake together all the time at home)
  • Jake is the baker who literally has no fucking clue how he actually made it in bc he has no idea what he’s doing but somehow he just has a Knack and it always turns out amazing (with the exception of a couple of True Disasters)
  • Amy comes from a long line of amazing bakers and is hella competitive, and super meticulous with her recipes and all instructions, means she Stresses during the technicals but she does know her shit and she just has to keep reminding herself that it’s like an exam where she has to learn in advance and remember
  • Rosa relies on family recipes, says she cares about them more than the actual family members who made them, also goes with her own gut feeling (usually involves putting alcohol in the food if she’s not sure what’s missing)
  • Gina learned how to bake via trial and error and general self-discovery during a year where she was forced to stay at home and take things easy after she got hit by a bus (also usually the one putting alcohol in her food)
  • Terry loves baking for his kids and his wife and they’re his biggest fans, all of his bakes are inspired by them/done with them in mind, he gets teary on the show a lot
  • Charles is still his Foodie self, so he gets Very Intense about it all and is the one that tries all the super weird flavours
  • Hitchcock and Scully applied together and everyone’s fairly sure they just got picked for the comic relief but then occasionally one of them will actually bake something really good??
  • Jake falls in love with Amy during a peanut brownie challenge while they flirt over peanuts, he makes heart eyes at her for the whole competition after that, occasionally gets so distracted by how beautiful/adorkable she’s being that he fucks his bakes up
  • Gina falls in love with Rosa after seeing her punching her bread dough, spends the whole rest of the competition trying to pick her up, it starts to take priority over the actual baking and Kevin has Noticed and is subtly trying to help her out
  • Jake and Gina have been besties since the auditions so they start trying to help each other get their girls
  • aaand let’s not forget Doug Judy
  • aka Jake’s ex-best friend from high school, they used to be the baking bros and use cupcakes to pick up girls
  • until one day they were going for the same girl, so they both made stuff to impress her, and she said she preferred Jake’s but then Doug took the credit for them, and took her to prom only to stand her up
  • Jake has never forgotten and never forgiven
  • hasn’t made cupcakes since, too painful, too traumatic
  • which really fucks him up when they get a cupcake challenge
  • seriously like imagine him trash talking Judy and then they announce “cupcakes!!” and he does his melodramatic NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • (you decide if he manages to nail it and beat Judy’s cupcakes yet again, or if he totally botches it bc nerves)
  • anyway at one point Jake gets the coveted Holt Handshake and he is so elated his entire life has just been made bc he has been watching the show for years and idolises him so much
  • Amy is the same and she is so horrifically jealous until Holt tries her food next and also gives her a handshake and then her and Jake just look at each other like “WHAAAT”
  • Jake comes over after and is so excited he just gives her this real big hug and it’s really Pure bc then he gets super embarrassed and awkward but she is like “oh no, he’s so cute, help I have been specifically Not Noticing That” 
  • I have no idea who wins but Peraltiago and Dianetti and Holtzner are all in love and happy at the end

basically what I’m saying is can someone with the adequate baking and GBBO knowledge please write this AU I need it desperately

ot4 things
  • group chat has to remind mari to eat/sleep/stretch if she’s been designing for too long
    • alya: hi mari this is your hourly reminder to fucking get up and stretch oh my god you’re probably crouched over that chair like a shut in go for a walk gdi
    • adrien: ok so…..i texted you four hours later…..like you told me…..i hope you’re eating. lunch is important.
    • nino: get some h2o up in that bitch or i swear to god dude
  • alya has to call a fucking intervention every time she loses more than ten ladyblog followers overnight
    • one day, just to fuck with her, the three of them all unfollow her the same day and she bursts into class screaming 
    • “we’re not mutuals anymore ????? who the fuck why the fuck ???”
  • when someone’s sick or having a bad day, adrien stops by their house and drops off little care packages bc he’s literally perfect
    • photocopied notes from class, homework, water bottles, snacks, medicine, candy, a get well card, you name it
    • alya takes pictures of all of them and keeps an album
    • mari keeps the cards in a scrapbook for her shitty days
    • nino cries almost every time he gets one
    • the three of them pitch in to do one for adrien when he’s sick but he somehow manages to outdo all three of them consistently
  • nino starts an instagram account that’s literally just videos of mari and chloe fighting. alya and adrien both help moderate it
    • mari has no idea it exists so like sometimes the three of them will be cackling over nino’s phone and try to cover up what they were doing when she walks by
    • she thinks she missed out on a meme or something
    • everyone in school follows it
  • they rabbit a new anime every week bc adrien just keeps finding new ones and he always says “no trust me they’re so good” and they can’t say no to that face, he’s so excited, literally how adrien
    • kid has a good taste in anime, so six hour binges on saturday night are at least entertaining 
    • yuri on ice left mari and nino crying and adrien recorded it for posterity
  • adrien and mari make gym days a thing on sundays bc for some reason they’re fitness freaks and when did that happen they’re also so ripped like how ? ?
    • mari and adrien go through the whole shebang: cardio weights, machines, stretching, you have it
    • alya just stays on the elliptical the whole time watching reality tv on the televisions above her
    • nino stays on his phone the whole time walking on the treadmill instead of actually running
    • adrien: they’re working up to it. 
    • mari: we’re going for a run next week. no technology allowed. 
Dean’s Plaid

Summary: You and Dean do NOT get along. Until the night that you do.

Warning: smut, anger sex

Word Count: 3200

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy some Dean smut! XOXO

There are two things in the world you really hate: plaid and Dean Winchester.

There are plenty of things that you don’t like, that irritate and annoy you, that you’d rather not deal with. But those are the only two things you actively hate. A store with a window display of plaid clothing is enough to get your blood boiling these days. And Dean? Well, you make sure you never think of Dean. That just tailspins your world into a mess of violent anger for days before it wears off.

So the fact that you are currently wearing one of Dean Winchester’s plaid shirts, listening to him hum along with the radio as he drives you to his motel?

Yeah. You’re gonna need something to kill.

Or you could just kill Dean.

Keep reading

Another from this long list of prompts, completely unprompted.

Number Ten: “If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re on the couch for a month!!”


Stiles needed to take a good long look at his life, he decided as he dug the emergency plastic seat covers out of the trunk of the Camaro.

Reason number one: he and all of his friends kept emergency plastic seat covers in their trunks so in the event of a big bad monster exploding all over them, they wouldn’t have to explain massive blood stains to the guy at the auto detailing shop.

Again.

They only made that mistake once, and Lydia spent the night in jail three counties over.

Stiles shook out the plastic with a spiteful flourish at the universe, and laid it out over the leather passenger seat, while Derek did the same for the driver’s before sliding in.

Stiles hesitated, bracing himself.

Reason number two: Stiles was far too young to always be this sore.

He groaned as he lowered himself into the car and the plastic crinkled underneath him. His knee was messed up, he knew that much without professional opinion, but he was going to hold off on an official diagnosis unless it got to the point where he couldn’t walk on it. And he was pretty sure that none of the blood soaking his khakis was actually his, so compared to the last few big faceoffs, he was doing pretty well.

But it was the soreness, the constant aches when he got up in the morning—his shoulder actually ached with the weather. His grandfather had that problem, and even his dad didn’t have as many back problems.

Stiles was twenty-eight and there were days when a bad enough thunderstorm rolled through, and all he could do was lie on the couch and pop Tylenol like candy.

At this rate he’d be using a cane at thirty.

He yawned as Derek put the car in gear and drove towards home, letting himself drift off.

Reason number three: he was always, always exhausted.

Keep reading

post breakup AUs

because i haven’t seen enough of these around and i am so here for angst:

  • “today was the first family gathering i’ve been to since we broke up and my little cousin that absolutely adored you asked where you were and i had to lock myself in the bathroom and sit in the tub for a half an hour and look through a folder on my phone of pictures i took of you to feel okay again¨ AU
  • ¨i still have your phone number memorized even though i haven’t called you since we split and somehow i remembered it even though i’ve had like six shots of bourbon and hey, i know you’re pissed that you’re here at this dingy club at 3 in the morning to pick my drunk ass up, but you have to admit that’s pretty impressive¨ AU
  • “i’m pretty sure if taylor swift and i were in a competition of who could write the most breakup songs in one night, i’d win by a landslide because i still set two plates out for dinner even though i eat alone and it’s almost pathetic because we’ve been broken up for ages but i’m still not over you” AU
  • “so i know we haven’t talked in like, two years, and that things ended pretty badly between us but what the fuck do you mean you’re engaged to be married¨ AU
  • “yes, i know this is your sweatshirt and that we broke up five months ago but it’s really comfy okay. i totally don’t wear it because like it still smells like you or is the only thing that even remotely feels like home since i moved out. pfft. absolutely not.” AU
  • “look, i know we agreed to be friends and everything but that’s what everyone says when they break up. i can’t take you asking me for advice on how to ask out the new person you’re interested in, okay? it’s killing me” AU
  • “oh hi, totally didn’t expect to see you here at this one hole in the wall coffee shop literally no one in the entire world besides you knows about. what a coincidence.” AU
  • “it´s my [insert family relation here]´s wedding and seeing all these happy couples is killing me and all i can think about is how this was almost us” AU (bonus: “i know that it’s two in the morning and i’m dressed really formally and a little (a lot) bit drunk but i couldn’t stop thinking about you after my grandma asked how you were doing also can i come in it’s freezing out here”)
  • “i still have your sister’s scarf and i know it’s stupid but i’ve been hoping maybe one day you’ll come by and pick it up so we’ll be forced to talk again because i haven’t seen you in months and i’m maybe kinda sorta still in love with you” AU
  • “i know we were never officially together or anything but seeing that picture you posted on [insert social media] with him/her literally felt like you carved my heart out of my chest and stomped on it and i’m not really sure why i’m leaving this voicemail but my pillow still smells like you and i miss your stupid face” AU
  • “we have a lot of mutual friends so we see each other more than two broken up people usually do and i know we’re not really close anymore but you’re wearing that stupid (adorable) hat you always wore when you were upset so tell me what’s wrong because it’s literally killing me to see you look so sad” AU
  • “so like, i know we broke up and stuff but funny story, i haven’t told my family yet and they just assumed you’d be coming with me for [insert family celebration] and i really don’t know how to tell them and i know this is really selfish but i can’t break my great grandma’s heart like that, she’ll probably have a heart attack and– wait what? you’d do that for me? holy shit, i love you… wait–” AU
  • “i found your box of letters underneath my bed last night and because i’m a nosy motherfucker i decided to read them and it turns out they were all addressed to me and the last one was dated the day you moved out and i’m not quite sure why i thought this would be a good idea but here i am, standing on your doorstep, wondering why the fuck we’re not together anymore” AU
  • “well this is really awkward considering the last time we saw each other, i was screaming at you to never talk to me again, but like, my dog recognized you all the way across the park and literally dragged me over here because she misses you so hi” AU