literally crying because of this

And here's a bit of advice for anyone thinking about having another kid

You can’t leave them anywhere. Like I mean you literally cannot set them down, not just because they might cry but because your toddler might murder them.

anonymous asked:

I'm literally crying at work because a friend linked me to one of your comics and I can't stop laughing. The shitty drawings are the funniest thing I've seen in months. Also my coworkers are starting to stare. Help.

DRAGON CRY

people get pissed that Zelda’s portrayed as this fuckin damsel in distress and they’re like “TROPES ARE DUMB NINTENDO IS SEXIST”

and i’m like…
have you…
actually…
played a Zelda game???

when has Zelda EVER ACTUALLY been kidnapped by Ganon PAST THE FIRST GAME?

  • in Zelda 2 and I think Minish Cap she was in a cursed sleep
  • In ALttP she was hiding and I believe later sealed away in another world for a while
  • In OoT she was sneaking around as a ninja trying to help you
  • In Four Swords Adventures and A Link Between Worlds she was sealed away
  • in Wind Waker she’s a pirate who travels with you
  • In Twilight Princess she LITERALLY HELPS YOU KILL GANON AND PARTICIPATES IN THE FIGHT
  • in Spirit Tracks she’s DEAD (AND RETURNS FROM THE DEAD AS A GHOST TO HELP YOU ANYWAY.)
  • in Skyward Sword she’s training to unlock her potential as the LITERAL GODDESS INCARNATE
  • in Breath of the Wild she spent her days studying to unlock her power and then spent a hundred years using it to keep her kingdom safe while all her friends and family FUCKING DIED ALL AROUND HER

she’s sealed away and put to sleep so many times because she NEEDS to be disabled

YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE NOT EVEN DEATH CAN STOP ZELDA FROM KICKING YOUR FUCKING ASS

ZELDA CRIED IN BOTW BECAUSE SHE FAILED TO STOP GANON AND LITERALLY ALLOWED A GENOCIDE TO HAPPEN
SHE’S NOT CRYING BECAUSE “WAH I’M SCARED I NEED A MAN TO PROTECT ME”
SHE’S CRYING BECAUSE SHE WAS TOLD HER ENTIRE LIFE IT WAS HER DUTY TO STOP THE LITERAL END OF THE WORLD. AND SHE FAILED.

SO YOU CAN TAKE YOUR DAMSEL ACCUSATIONS AND GLUE THEM TO ZELDA’S FOOT

SO THEY GET SHOVED UP YOUR ASS WHEN ZELDA KICKS IT

  • Jason: I will never pity you, Dickface. I am the perpetual family disappointment, I pity no one.
  • Dick: Oh come on, you think you're the family disappointment?
  • Jason: Well it sure as hell ain't you, golden boy!
  • Dick: We'll see about that. Bruce!
  • Bruce: Hm?
  • Dick: Who is the family disappointment?
  • Bruce:
  • Bruce:
  • Bruce: St--
  • Stephanie: NO!
  • Stephanie: Shut up shut up shut uuuupppp!
  • Stephanie: I cannot be the family disappointment because I am not a part of this family!
  • Stephanie: I don't even go here!
  • Tim: You're here all the time--
  • Stephanie: As your personal Kimmy Gibbler! Not a sister!
  • Stephanie: [to Bruce] I can't believe you. I CANNOT believe you! Say it, Bruce, swear to God, SAY IT and I will slap you again!
  • Jason: Again?
  • Stephanie: I AM NOT THE FAMILY DISAPPOINTMENT!
  • Stephanie: You know who is, Bruce? You. YOU ARE THE FAMILY DISAPPOINTMENT.
  • Stephanie: You haven't done half the crap you should and YEAH I'm pulling out receipts because I INVENTED fake dying and when I got back no one was nice to me SO YOU DON'T GET ANY FREEBIES!
  • Stephanie: I'm leaving! Tell Cass I'm not talking to any of you and I broke up with Tim--
  • Tim: How is this my fault?!
  • Stephanie: --and that I'll be at Gina's on 5th for smoothies because SOME of us keep our promises and don't just go 'hey I'm back from the dead get out of my cave even though I'm a loser who got lost in time like a loser' which, like, PATHETIC
  • Stephanie: [wads up leftover receipt from her purse and throws it at Bruce] BYE FAMILY DISAPPOINTMENT
  • Stephanie: [slams door]
  • Jason:
  • Dick:
  • Tim:
  • Bruce:
  • Bruce:
  • Bruce: I was going to say 'Stop'...
6

find yourself a best friend who looks at you the same way maui looks at moana

5

insp.
- Time can be rewritten!
- Not those times, not one line… don`t you dare!

Their friendship is so beautiful. I’m literally crying rn because I’ve only had one real friend my whole life and we aren’t half as close as I wish we were :/

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2

Stelena Forever Meme || [5/9] Quotes

↳ 2x20: The Last Day

Steal my car, I'll wreck your life.

Back story, i am apart of a small family-owned type used car dealership (cue used car salesman joke here) we have maybe 50 cars on the lot at any time and our main business is sub-prime or people with less than perfect credit. We truly want to help the people that can’t afford/have the credit to buy from a new car dealership. We’re actually very liked in our small community.

So recently I had these customers, lets call her wife and him husband (They’re early 20’s). They come into my store and I like them, they seem like a nice young couple trying to start their lives out, they have two very sweet little girls, and could just use a break. They have made some mistakes in their early lives and have less than perfect credit. I coach them on how to improve their credit and they seem sincerely interested in fixing it so I bust my ass to get them a loan with the wifes mother cosigning on a nice third row SUV. Wife is literally crying hugging me because every other dealer turned them down. Now they are a little short on the down payment so i take a check for the balance and we agree i’ll cash it on his next payday (Mistake number one) but pretty common in this line of work.

I forget about them until the next week when I drop the check at the bank along with other deposits. The next thing i know i receive a notice that the check has bounced. Along with a couple NSF fees attached for me, and the check comes back. It’s a dollar amount that is considered a first degree misdemeanor in our state, just under a felony. I reach out to wife to see what happened and how we can make arrangements to get this taken care of. The last thing I want to do is go after a young couple with two small kids. At first wife is a little shocked and insists the funds were pulled from their account and I show them the picture of the NSF check. She understands and says they can pay half in 2 weeks when she’s paid again and in another 2 weeks pay the other half. I agree to this and just take them on their word (mistake 2).

A couple weeks rolls around and I don’t hear from wife or husband and am now thinking i’ve been taken for a ride Ignoring my calls/texts/etc you get the point. I get a call from the bank and come to find out they haven’t made their first payment either.

Now with this particular bank if the customer does not make their first payment we have to “Buy Back” the deal. Basically we have to give the bank the money they sent us for the loan. After blowing up their phones and facebook they finally call me back. I get the sob story he got let go from his job and he just started a new one and mom is going to help them get back on their feet. I go through hell and high water with the bank to make a deal that if they make their payment they’ll keep the loan but i’m still on the hook if they miss any of the next 3 payments. Wife also tells me they’ll make payments to me on the bounced check once he starts getting paychecks. So i agree, they make their payment to the bank and i go about my life….Until the next month comes around.

I get an email from the bank saying wife didn’t make the next months payment and won’t answer their calls. At this point i’m furious and ready to just go get their vehicle. They won’t answer any of my calls and call mom, mom scrounges everything in her social security paycheck to help try to make the payment for them and is short. Wife and husband tells her they’ll cover the balance and of course don’t pay. Bank says deal is a buyback we need our money back for the loan within 7 days. Now the only way I can payback their loan is if my floor plan (Basically giant credit card we buy cars on) gets pictures of the car in my possession.

I try to call/text/email/message on facebook to get ahold of both wife and husband and they block me on everything. They’re basically just stealing the vehicle without paying. They even blocked mom who has been trying to help them get this handled, yes they screwed over their own mother in this ordeal. I just want the vehicle back and move on with life. So this is where i go @prorevenge on them.

I begin by dropping the check off at the local prosecutor, and they’re delighted to file charges against them. I do some skip tracing calling family members, all of which are more than happy to help because come to find out husband has had 7 jobs in 4 months and has burned every single family member with money they’ve borrowed. I find wifes Father on Facebook, Father has been trying to take custody of deadbeat wife and husbands 2 kids because of how they treat them. He informs me they are staying in sisters house right over the border (we are on the state line of 2 states remember this) I call up a repo company and even myself drive the hour to go get the vehicle. They’ve been hiding it in the garage (according to neighbors and repo company). I do some searching and find out they’re both on probation for stealing a bunch of stuff from multiple stores. So I of course find and call up Mrs. Probation officer to see if she has a last known address. I then mention to her they’re staying above the state line and bounced a very large check to me, and they’re facing fresh charges in my town, she appreciates the knowledge.

Now while I was up at their house one evening I talk to one of the neighbors (Who also hate them they’re always yelling at their kids and eachother) and convince neighbor to call me if they see the vehicle outside. It took one day, I get the call, I send a very large friend who lives nearby them to go get the vehicle. After many expletives, berating my friend, they hand over the vehicle. But not before finally calling me while he was there and tell me how they’re going to sue and blah blah.

I’m out quite a bit of money from the ordeal, but here’s the best part. I just found out by living out of state they violated probation and just got sentenced to 30 days in jail from that, and they also just had their “video court date”(because they’re currently in jail with the probation violation) with the local judge on the new charges of the bounced check. I got my vehicle back and guess what? Deadbeat wife’s Father got custody of the 2 kids.

Shiro coming back to Earth for the first time in years after being abducted, after defeating Zarkon, after being safe, and he eats some Earth food - some potatoes, chicken, lettuce and tomato.

He hasn’t seen or tasted any of those in years

He can barely taste them through the tears that fall down his face

6

Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag / Freedom Cry + main historical locations