literally been on this for hours

Snk Characters As Things My Friends Have Said:
  • Mikasa: My beauty is an illusion. I will seduce you with my glorious hair and then punt you right into the sun when you least expect it.
  • Erin: *screaming, to the vague tune of "Do You Hear The People Sing"*
  • Armin: Literally the only reason I'm here is to stop you from jumping off a roof in a fit of caffeine-fueled rage.
  • Hanji: *mixes three different types of energy drinks together and chugs it* fOR SCIENCE
  • Levi: I'm afraid I have to respectfully disagree, on the grounds of I don't care about your fucking opinion, because you're fucking wrong, asshole
  • Connie: hOW DARE YOU CALL ME 'CUTE'. I AM NOT CUTE. I AM DEATH.
  • Sasha: It's been more than an hour since I've last shoved something in my face, and I'm about to start screaming.
  • Jean: Sometimes I am forced to question why I hang out with you all. I mean, I'm superior in basically every way. I could do so much better.
  • Ymir: Get your heterosexual ass out of my fuckin way, there's a hot girl over there and I call DIBS
  • Historia: *sighs* I used to be a nice person, you know, before I met you guys.
  • Marco: I'm too cute for this.
  • Bertholdt: Guys, it's not gay to be in love with a dude if you say "no homo," right
  • Reiner: *stiffens suddenly* I just felt it...my last fuck...gone...forever...
TL;DT at bottom

Last couple days have been a nightmare.
Tuesday- assistant manager tells me all the mid tasks are done and I just need to worry about my closing tasks. Cool. Turns out literally NONE of the tasks were done. Not one. And that morning the store was closed for an extra 4 hours because the company’s update on our POS system crashed, people were not happy. So I finish them, whatever. I start my period literally 45 minutes from when my shift started. EVEN BETTER. A girl who is in training calls and says she’s going to be late. How late? She can’t give me an estimate. Phone rings again, my closer’s car broke down and she might be late (at least she called an hour ahead).
Wednesday-talk to my manager about the previous day, her response “oh I’m so sorry I was in a meeting with our district manager” THEN EHY DID YOU TELL ME THEY WERE DONE? I had to do her tasks at the end of the night before! Plus I had two girls who hate each other and I have to try and keep them separated in a small bar area where everyone is literally within five feet of each other for 8 hours. And listen to them bitch about one another (love the drama, hate that I’m their supervisor )
Thursday- my fiance is sick and I’ve been up all night and morning taking care of him. Guess what, allergies weren’t allergies I have a cold now. Can’t call in because every supervisor is working or unavailable (yet I signed a contract stating I wouldn’t go to work sick?) Anyways go in and everything is a disaster. The lobby is gross, trash overfilled, lines of customers who are all upset. Midday shift hands me the keys to the store and takes her break. Before I clocked in. I still had my purse on my shoulder and sunglasses on my head. No apron either. Jump right in and it’s like everyone wants to talk to the manager. All I want to do is get my coworkers in order and figure out what happened and how can I make everything fluid again. But instead I have to run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to talk to angry customers and also help make drinks and get everyone’s food. End of the day I was dead.
Friday- Lady calls and wants her receipt from two days ago. Can’t remember her order or what time she came in (literally the only two ways I can search for it) finally found it after ten minutes and she asked if I could mail it to her. Now I am a lowly employee who is in charge of smaller employees at a retail cafe. Plus that isn’t even a thing. I told her she would have to come by and we could print it. Says shell swing by tonight. Never came. I finally take my lunch and I’m already sick, pmsing, and slept maybe 8 hours in the last 3 days combined. It’s the first time this week I actually sit down and try to enjoy my 30 minute break. Not one, not two, but three employees needed me. One for a void on a transaction (which could have waited until I came back),two a customer wanted to know the ingredients in a drink (the person on POS could have told me instead of saying a customer wanted to speak with me), three an employee wanted to know how to make something but literally the directions are on the packet. Ended up telling everyone to leave me the fuck alone and me and one other girl (who is a dear friend of mine) and I got into a screaming fit in the back room.
Saturday (today): tried to request the day off two months ago but my manager said already four people requested it off. It’s the two year anniversary of my father’s death and I would love to spend it with my family (we’re an emotional group). No can do. AND TO TOP THE LIST! Literally right after I clock on and get on the floor I hear screaming coming from the drive thru window. It was along the lines of: “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! I HAVNT SEEN YOU BEFORE! EVERYONE HERE KNOWS MY ORDER!” Fortunately another supervisor was there and she said she’d handle it. THANK GOD! I still hear screaming and cussing so I decide to come over and see what the problem was because everyone in our lobby was looking over the counter, watching as this chick was trying to open her car door. I told her she needed to calm down and lower her voice, TWICE. I almost brought out my phone so if she did try to jump through our window I had evidence (AND A YOUTUBE VIDEO). She scoffed and sat back down in her car and bitched about how rude I was and how rude the other girl was and she’s a regular how dare we treat her like this (she’s like this EVERY morning. She has a reputation yet our manager won’t ban her). Anyways go on about the day and try to push to the finish line. Guy come by walks slightly behind the counter to grab a broom (TOTAL NO GO ZONE. I WAS HERE WHEN MY STORE WAS ROBBED DO NOT COME BEHIND THE COUNTER!). So I said the typical “sir, can I HELP you?” “Well I’d didnt want to have your girls clean the men’s room.” First of all our two restrooms are gender neutral because they are singles. Second, I’ve cleaned vomit from sinks, clogged toilets, period blood, shit on the floors, piss, and whatever that thing was in the corner. Third of all, and have I mentioned it, DONT GO BEHIND MY COINTER. Dude also looked like a drug dealer who would sell you an ounce of weed for $5 or a ride to the nearest 711. Then another guy came in and one of the girls told me a couple of nights ago her and a male friend were at a nearby gasstation and he made sexual motions towards her. So I told her to go into the back room take her break and I’ll keep an eye on him. I walk by him later in the night and he tried to say something to me. Fortunately my fiance was there and told him “don’t talk to her”. Shut his ass down fast. My fiance is NOT a fighter but if someone is making me uncomfortable he will shut that shit down. He’s amazing like that. So the rest of the night my fiance say at the table closest to my register so he can keep an eye on the creeper. FIANLLY 3 MINUTES UNTIL CLOSING and a MOB of people come in wanting drinks upon drinks. I take their orders and tell everyone in the lobby if they’re not waiting on their order they need to leave and the store is officially closed. Crepper dude comes up and my fiance snaps up and goes between us and he’s like “yo I just want to use the restroom” YA! “no sire the store is officially closed.” And just as if someone answered my prayers because a security guard came in and escorted that specific person out of the store. Just so happens during his smoke break my fiance had a chit chat with the security guard.
Good news is a competition company wants to take me with better paid, same benefits, longer lunch, as a supervisor with the same schedule and hours, and my store manager could possible be my old supervisor (who I replaced) who actually appreciates my hard work and is also a friend of mine. Honestly if she gets that promotion I’m gone from this stupid ass company. Only thing keeping me is it’s two cities away (managable but my car broke down and my only method of transportation is by train. And I’d be closing at the dead of night taking the train where there’s been a LOT of crime.)

TL;DR: Week was one of the roughest. Ended up with some lady screaming bloody murder over a $5 drink. Fiance had to fend off this creepy ass guy. Managers suck. Customers suck. But I might get a better job that’s exactly the same but o get more out of it.

dontdrinkcoffeeyouhaveanxietyfool.jpg

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Shit y'all. Guess what happened this weekend? My mom and I had to drive through this country ass back road town the other day to get to where we were going. We both knew we needed to go through and make no stops. We weren’t feeling that shit at all. But then, my mom had to use the restroom and we’d already been driving down this road for an hour. She swore she couldn’t hold it, so we had to stop. As soon as we pulled up to this little gas station, we got stares. Of course. It was no surprise to us. We were out of place. We were the only black people in this town and we saw Trump flags and shit all over the place. The new goal was to just hurry the fuck up and roll out. So we were inside the gas station for LITERALLY THREE MINUTES and when we came back out, someone had popped the headlights out on my car. I was fuckin PISSED. Some hick ass trick ass bitch really tried to fuck my shit up. And we don’t know who it was. Whoever it was, I hope their bitch ass was watching because we fixed it in about thirty seconds and left. I’m just mad someone really did that. Like, the audacity? They sat there, watched us walk in, vandalized my car, and either left or sat back and watched to see our reaction. Scary ass bitch. I wish I would’ve caught them in the action. I would’ve pepper sprayed the shit out of them and threw the strongest punch with the power of my ancestors. I can’t fuckin stand people.

Acceptance - Joe Sugg

Request: Do you think you could do a joe imagine where he’s been planning a really special date night at home but you get stuck at work/busy studying for exams and end up coming home too late and find joe snug as a bug on the couch sleeping and you wake him up with a sweet kiss and cuddles to apologize for being late?

Smut: No

Requests are OPEN!

A/N: So like…I LOVE THIS ONE.

I hope you like it :)

Masterlist

He had been cooking all night. It felt like years until he would finally be face to face with her again. Her career was incredibly important to her and he respected that but he didn’t ignore the fact that it sometimes kept them apart. His life was different than hers; he made his own hours, he worked from home, he could literally do anything at any point in time. On the contrary, she worked 12hrs every day (sometimes even more, depending on the situation), she barely saw the inside of her apartment unless she was sleeping and she rarely had time to go out to even shop for food, let alone have a relationship. But somehow, they made it work.

Pasta Primavera. Her favourite dish. It was a casual Saturday night and all he wanted to do was spend it with her, over a candle-lit dinner and later on, in a nice warm bath but she was late. As she always was. He accepted it though. He knew it was a busy time at the office so it was out of her hands. He didn’t blame her. He wasn’t angry. He just wished there were more hours in a day.

“She’d probably spend more time at work if that was the case.” He thought to himself as he placed the plates down on the table.

Everyone around them seemed to be confused as to how their relationship was surviving. They all knew about her busy schedule and her dedication to her career but they also knew he was someone who liked spontaneity, adventures and fun. How could someone like him be with someone like her? His sister was the most concerned. She wanted nothing but the best for him and she was questioning whether or not this relationship was really worth all the hassle. But he knew it was. She was special. Something he couldn’t find anywhere else. He knew he had to do whatever it took to keep her around…even when she couldn’t be.

1 hour. He sat at the table, waiting for her arrival. 2 hours. He had moved from the table to the couch and barely paid attention to the highlights of the games from that afternoon. 3 hours. He could feel his eyes drifting but he was determined. He wasn’t giving up. 4 hours. He was now lying down, wrapped in a blanket, trying his hardest to stay awake.

5 hours and he was being woken up by the sound of her voice. The pasta had gone cold, the TV was now playing infomercials and he was confused as to what time it really was.

“I’m so sorry, I really tried to get out early but Jace had me running around for hours.” She explained.

He could see in her eyes that she was apologetic. She knew how much he had been looking forward to seeing her and she felt the same. He looked up at her as he rubbed his face, trying to cause himself to be more awake. He smiled as he opened his arms and pulled her down on top of him.

“I really am sorry.” She mumbled against his chest as she wrapped her arms around him.

“Hey,” He said, lifting himself up so he was sitting up right and she was now sitting in between his legs. “You know I support you, right? I love how dedicated you are to your work and that you’re trying to make a life for yourself.”

“I know and I love you for that, I just think…sometimes it takes over my life, you know? I wanted to be here more than anything in the world.”

“And that’s all that matters.” He said, pressing a soft, gentle kiss upon her lips.

I have been feeling way out of it lately. 

I graduate in December and I am freaking out. My whole life I thought I knew what I wanted to do, and suddenly I’m not so sure. 

I haven’t been working out as regularly as I usually do, and when I do it’s kinda weak. Not sure if it’s because my schedule is all over the place or because I’ve had some weird cold for like two weeks. So consequently I feel terrible about myself because I’ve gained weight and it’s showing all in my stomach. It just sucks because I’ve been working really hard to build muscle and I feel like I’m failing at everything. 

I haven’t been getting normal amounts of sleep. If I don’t take cold medicine I wake up a million times and have my usual nightmares. If I take cold medicine I sleep for like 11 hours. I have been feeling exhausted literally all day every day. 

Like, I honestly feel like trash every single day. But I don’t really have anyone to talk to, and I don’t really want to complain anyways so

Rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remover my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people including the person who tagged you…And most importantly, have fun!

Tagged by: I actually got tagged twice, by @danhasotps and @mandykot! Sorry I’m a loser who forgets to do things

A - Age: 24

B - Biggest Fear: Death, dying, pain, being ignored/forgotten/disliked, ridicule

C - Current time: 9:46pm

D- Drink you last had: Birthday cake tea

E - Everyday starts with: Lying in bed scrolling Tumblr and questioning my life choices for half an hour

F - Favorite Song: “Bubblegum Bitch” has been stuck in my head for 3 days

G - ghosts, are they real?: Probably

H - Hometown: I’d rather not say but it’s a small city in Ontario

I - In love with: Literally the entire concept of magical girls

J - Jealous of: People who can make their brains shut up for more than a few minutes at a time, like what the fuck is that like

K - Killed someone: No!!! Fuck dude I have a hard enough time killing off fictional characters you really think I’m gonna straight up murder a fucker

L - Last time you cried: Last week, talking to my roommates about The Adventure Zone

M - Middle Name: Elizabeth Ann

N - Number of siblings: 1

O - One wish: My mortgage paid off

P - Person you last called/text: Dan probably?

Q - Questions you’re always asked: Why are you so tired/stressed? (It’s because I work two jobs and I have next to no free time SHARON)

R - Reasons to smile: fanfiction

S - Song last sang: I don’t remember some dumb pop song on the radio that I like probably

T - Time you woke up: 6:00am

U - Underwear color: White

V - Vacation destination: Japan probably except language barrier so probably the UK because the last time I was there I only saw England and I’d like to see the other countries. Also Lily lives there

W - Worst habit: Procrastination

X - X-rays you’ve had: I think I’ve had some on my mouth/teeth, and also my wrist when I fractured it in grade 4

Y - Your favorite food: SOUP AND PASTA.

Z - Zodiac: Scorpio

Tagging @fluffymccree @no1fan15 @bringingyaoiback @pickleandthequeen @lilyrosethedreamer @fullbattleregalia @nerdpatrole @linkobrata @chwineka @spiritbathbomb

OKAY SO TODAY IS KINDA CRAZY.

- I had a very long Curse of Strahd D&D game to run this morning, which only just ended because they’re insane people who keep running into major plot points.
- I came up with the idea of making my husband one of his favorite foods, soft pretzels, which… its a 2 hour process, but it’s literally the only thing I can make from our limited stock of groceries.
- I have another homebrew D&D game that starts at 5PM my time, and it’s 2:30PM now. 
- I have a lot of customers contacting me about orders all of the sudden, and they all need to be answered.
- Players from all of my games have been contacting me for information/advice, which I do need to give them.
- I tripped, fell, and got oil all over me when I was trying to grab it from the pantry, so I also have to fit in a shower, make-up reapplication, and new outfit.
- I MEAN AT SOME POINT I SHOULD ALSO PROBABLY EAT SOMETHING????
- I need to get all my notes and plans together for the next game.
- I JUST

Originally posted by showtimeandcoal

Honestly? Probably the most laughable thing to me about Fyre Festival is that there’s been so many reports of thievery and stolen wallets, clothes, etc when it’s literally been like 24 hours and these people clearly are well off, some dare I say loaded. They all can shell upwards of $12,000 to the tune and promise of rentable yachts and beach yoga but the minute they’re in mildly inconvenient straights they all turn on eachother and start nabbing up whatever’s unsecured even though they’re RICH and if that doesn’t say something about the ultimate nature of the bourgeoisie then I don’t know what does

Space Australian Medicine

Despite the best efforts of everyone involved, something truly nasty escaped Earth. They call it giardia, a microscopic organism that their Planetary Protection Officer called “pretty dumb” and “not too bad, really, a week of digestive upset and then it’s over.”

Yes, Earth has a Planetary Protection Officer. They have a Planetary Protection Office, and have had one since they were sending probes around their own solar system. Doctor Ma-et had found it a bit silly, like a child concerned about the cleanliness of their toys, until she learned that the job of the Planetary Protection Office had always been protecting other worlds from Earth.

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Trans Lance Headcanons

•He figured out he was trans when he was like 12
•He told his family and they were a bit on the fence at first bc they didn’t really understand it but eventually they were all really accepting
•He picked the name Lance bc Lance was the name of an older boy who always looked out for him and Lance really looked up to him
•The boy killed himself, so Lance also took the name to honor him
•For his 13th birthday his parents got him a binder and he cried
•He hasn’t started transitioning yet, but his parents are saving up the money
•Lance’s family had to fight tooth and nail to get the Garrison to let Lance room with a boy and recognize Lance as a boy, but they managed
•Some teachers would call him Lana bc they were assholes and it messed with him more than he let on
•Some kids at the Garrison made fun of Lance for being trans but Hunk found out and he went into Mom Friend Mode™️ and kicked their asses
•Speaking of Hunk, when he found out Lance was trans he didn’t care at all!!
•Lance was changing and Hunk saw him in his binder and Lance kinda freaked out
•Hunk promised him that he really didn’t care, Lance was still his best friend
•Lance cried
•Lance used to have a really warped sense of masculinity and thought he had to be tough and all those things society expects of men to be seen as a boy
•He still kinda does, and he deals with it by flirting with girls a lot
•He didn’t want to recognize his bisexuality at first either, but then he saw a cute boy (probably Keith) and was like “oh damn”
•Lance at age 14: makeup and skirts are for girls tho
Lance now: *winging his eyeliner and looking in the mirror* this dress really makes my eyes pop tbh
•Pidge finds out when they’re in space and she almost cries bc she’s trans too!!!
•They have talks about it all the time tbh
•Lance at the space mall: PIDGE THERE’S CUTE BRAS, LET’S GET YOU SOME
Pidge: holy shit
•Pidge: hey don’t forget to take your binder off, it’s been like 7 hours
Lance: oh shit you’re right
•Keith finds out during a training session when Lance takes his shirt off and he’s wearing his binder
•Shiro: Keith you’re staring
Keith: nO I’M NOT
Shiro: that’s literally your pining face
Keith: i don’t have a pining face-
Shiro: Keith I’ve known you for ten years yes you do
•Shiro finds out bc Lance tells him one day
•Lance: hey Shiro I’m trans
Shiro, not even looking up from his book: cool
•Allura and Coran are confused at first bc it wasn’t called transgender on Altea but when they explain it they’re like “ohhhh alright that’s cool”
•Whenever an alien accidentally misgenders Lance he gets really uncomfortable but corrects them
•They usually apologize but if they’re a jerk then literally the entire team just. Casually starts bringing out their weapons.
•Shiro: *holding Keith back* Keith you can’t just assault someone-
Keith: he called Lance she and won’t stop!
Shiro: *letting him go* nvm go wild

Feel free to add your own headcanons, I love hearing them!

Viktor-sans-Yuuri is an “I want to go home” type of drunk

When they’re together, Viktor and Yuuri are definitely ‘oh dear oh god oh no’ type of drunk. The worst of bad influences on each other. One-tequila-two-tequila-three-tequila-floor type drunk. They’re let’s play stripping games in this club type drunk. It’s literal canon at this point and we are #blessed to have had this knowledge bestowed upon us.

But Viktor by himself rolls up on a club and is like “Waddup I want my HUSBAND do u feel me??”

Yuuri by himself mostly reverts back to his old drunk self–mostly a normal person, kind of sad, does the same stupid shit only by himself–but catch a singular Viktor sitting at a table by himself, squinting into the distance and waiting for someone to tell him he can go home .

I miss you 😢😢😢 he texts Yuuri when he’s only been gone for an hour.

We agreed that you would stay there for two hours Yuuri texts back. You’re halfway there, baby. Don’t give up now.

“Aren’t you glad to be out of the house?” asks someone, probably someone Viktor doesn’t like very much, probably one of the sponsors Viktor is currently trying to shmooze. “God, it’s good to be away from the ball and chain! You’re married now, Nikiforov, you understand.”

“Literally the only thing I want to do right now is go home and hug my husband for an entire hour,” Viktor tells him, mournfully scrolling up his text history with Yuuri. “I miss him so much.”

“Did Viktor’s…husband… die?” that guy asks a colleague across the room several minutes later. “He’s acting like he…died?”

“No, Petrovich, he just married someone he actually likes.”

Viktor is now staring deep into a champagne cocktail. “Yuuri loves these,” he says.

“Are you totally sure,” says Petrovich, “That his husband didn’t die.”

“I saw him in an elevator on Tuesday.”

Petrovich watches Viktor down the entire champagne cocktail. “I thought only strippers drank those things.”

vegabonk  asked:

Ten times Yuuri adorably fell asleep in inappropriate places.

Ten Times Yuuri Adorably Fell Asleep In Inappropriate Places

10) One during a visit to Viktor he fell asleep in the rink in St Petersburg while waiting for Viktor to show up and no-one had the heart to wake him up even when Viktor arrived

9) On a long-haul flight that he and Viktor were on, which Viktor was kind of envious of because he couldn’t sleep and had to stay awake for like 15 hours being extremely bored with no-one to talk to and Yuuri slept the entire way there

8) In the dance studio in Detroit after a late-night practice. The owners found him curled up fast asleep on the floor when they came in the next day to open the studio again.

7) On a train on a random person’s shoulder. Phichit never let him live it down

6) On Phichit’s bed on top of Phichit after a party when he was very drunk. Phichit has never let him live this one down either

5) On top of Viktor when they were lying on the sofa watching a film together and Viktor was trapped on the sofa the whole night because Yuuri looked so peaceful and he didn’t want to wake him up

4) In Yakov’s house during a gathering with all the Russian skaters. He was mortified when he woke up, especially because his relationship with Yakov is always a bit tense due to the doping thing, but someone had draped a blanket over him and let him be so he assumed no-one was too angry at him (it was Yakov)

3) During a competition when he only woke up a really soon before he had to skate. He was usually very good at keeping up with assignments for college as well as skating but during this particular competition he forgot about one and had to frantically do it the night before and got practically no sleep. The competition wasn’t massively important but he should have been getting ready and warming up but instead he was napping

2) On the ice in Detroit. It was during the exam period and Yuuri was stress skating a lot and not eating or sleeping well. Absolutely no-one knows how it happened but Phichit and Celestino came in to find him literally asleep on the ice of the rink. They woke him up very concerned that he might get hypothermia but not before Phichit had taken a photo and put it on his Instagram because it was hilarious

1) On Viktor’s shoulder on live TV during a competition. He wasn’t competing as it was the Euros but he’d been on a very long flight just hours before and Viktor was still waiting to skate and he just couldn’t keep his eyes open. He looked adorable and the video and pictures went viral very quickly. Viktor spent the entire time glaring at everyone who came close with an unspoken promise that if anyone woke Yuuri up no-one would ever find their body.

IT’S FINISHED

I’ll post some of my favorite frames in a bit, but in the mean time yall should go give the original video a like bc I rly want a part 4! and also because the voice actors are super awesome and u should support them