literal story of my life tho

some fun customers that happened to me while working at sephora, just in case you’re under the impression people are less weird while shopping for makeup:

  1. the guy who wanted to apply to the store and sat on the checkout counter for 30 minutes while showing me his portfolio. when he FINALLY left there was a live tick where he’d been sitting. i had to walk it across the store without alarming any other customers and discreetly flush it down the toilet.
  2. when tick guy returned a few weeks later i found him applying makeup to clients as though he worked there.
  3. the woman who came in with her 3-yr-old in tow to get her makeup done for the affair she was having. she asked me to make her look sexy but i definitely did not.
  4. the girl who loudly told me all about her lactation problems and sex life while i shaped her eyebrows.
  5. the cult member who came in while the store was empty and cornered me to try and recruit me to her apocalyptic catholic sect, WHICH, as she claimed, met in a garage two towns over and saw visions of the virgin mary. 
  6. the 12 year old shoplifter who threatened me by telling me she had rage problems and shouldn’t be crossed. i didn’t know what to do so i handed her a nice smelling perfume and told her “smell this, it might help.”
  7. the mother of a groom who spent 1.5 hours trying to set me up with her son’s best friend while i did her makeup and she fed me chocolates.
  8.  the shoplifter i bonded with over being gay. we took selfies in the makeup mirrors even tho i’m pretty sure he ganked like $100 of urban decay? whatever, he looked cute.
  9. the other shoplifter (not my friend) who used her baby as a decoy.
  10. the guy who came in to buy a gift for his girlfriend and by the time he’d left i’d learned his entire origin story as a struggling actor who auditioned to play a werewolf in twilight but wasn’t brave enough to buy the plane ticket when he got a callback. i think he had a personal epiphany about his life in those 45 minutes.
  11. one time huda kattan came in and bought so many $500 gift cards the JCP management thought it was a scam even tho we literally had her face on one of the displays like the week before
  12. literally every middle aged lady ever who came into the store looking for lipstick.
  13. i have more but i ran out of energy typing goodnight everybody.

cancers will say some deep intimate shit out of nowhere like literally last friday i was sittin on my bed with a cancer talking about like onion rings and out of fucking nowhere hes like “my dad hates me.” and goes on to tell me his entire life story like okay

9

Tony Goldwyn in The Pelican Brief 

legitliterallyy  asked:

☀ :^0

☀️- Story about your day.

Lmao I literally woke up 5 hours ago so it hasn’t really been an eventful day so far…

Ahhh school is consuming my life atm x-x even tho the only classes I’ve had so far are home ec and P.E lol

And for once I actually did well in home ec :DD
P.E was fucking terrifying tho haha
All the guys were running around with footballs before the class even started and the balls were just flying across the room. Then when class actually started we had to dance?? Luckily I managed to convince my teacher that I was too “sick” to join xD

Ahh I want to go home and take a nap ;v;

so i just watched code geass R1 (for the first time) in one sitting

and it is literally one of the best anime’s i have ever seen even though i had found out before hand (accidentally) about several things that were going to happen, it was still one of the best things i have ever seen in my entire life. i mean, lelouch is the best, the world was not kind to him or anyone actually and this entire story caused me alot of pain in heart but- it was great. end of story.


(i’m not prepared and i think R2 might cause me actual physical pain goodbye)

I DID IT
I DEFEATED RUNE PRANA
[INSERT SPOILER CHARACTER HERE] IS SAFE
I FINALLY MADE THE PANCAKES RECIPE
WE GOT A CUTE GOOFY TOWN EVENT TO HEAL THE SADS
AAAAAAAAA ITS OVERRRR
dear god rune factory 4 u dont fuck around
that was worth it tho
man i just keep thinking about what if something like ff7 had a similar sidequest to get aerith back? a really huge unfair postgame challenge thats practically longer than the whole game until that point. makes it actually feel earned to get that character back, so it doesnt ruin the story impact of their death, yknow?
tho it was still more badass here cos i literally busted into the rune factory equivelant of the afterlife and stole my friend back
ripped a hole in life and death with my bare hands just to hugglesnug my favourite mother figure in all of gaming
and man i liked the extra touch that the final boss battle is literally the final boss battle again
you fight a twisted shade of the very man who killed her, thats the last thing between you and her soul
and i also liked that you finally get to actually battle him in his regular human form, rather than the big ol transformation thingy that all final bosses have to have. It makes it seem more pitiful that he’s reduced to this, and doesnt seem to even have any shred of sentience left. now he looks like a person but is more of a beast than he ever was before…
i kinda hope his soul can find peace now that I’ve defeated him. he was a really pitiful villain.
BUT ANYWAY IM MAKIN PANCAKES FOR MY VIRTUAL MOM, HELL YEAH
only thing im a lil dissappointed with is that the scene when you get her back is kinda short and maybe even anticlimactic. since she was gone I’ve gotten married and had a kid, i wish the game had somehow been able to aknowledge the differences in the town and have her talk about them when she comes back. That’d probably be real hard to program tho!

alright u guys want an artists au????? i’ll give you an artists au.

(i am literally an art major i have seen some THINGS. no hate on other posts i just need u guys to know what its like REALISTICALLY)

lardo- does a little research after getting into her money, and decides to make an artist residency on her campus, samwell. anyone can apply if they have kind of sort of an art degree. they need to submit a portfolio and lardo just kinda picks the coolest ones out and actually talks to advisors and art profs to see who could benefit the most.

the residency gets called bauhaus at first (cuz that was like, the one Art Thing lardo remembers ever learning about and it sounds cool!) shortened to ‘haus’ eventually.

bitty- is still a baker. but not just. sculptural desserts are his Thing. he actually hate fondant, so he tried to make all of his creations beautiful and still edible!! 

jack- art history major. he was pursuing a photography career like his dad, but yknow, things happen and honestly, as passionate as jack is about his work, art history is just so much more fulfilling and photography slowly just becomes a good hobby of his. plus he really likes working with kids as a teacher and sharing is love of art and art history with them :’)

shitty- 2 words. performance. art. he usually tries to make grand statements and really does his research and yes, it does often involve him being nude a lot of the time. but he can b really pretentious and it still a privileged white dude so basically everyone is ‘stfu bansky’ every time shitty gets Started. he takes it in stride and listen to critique. most of the time…

cutting here for length

Keep reading

oh boy literally i have had this blog now for 2 months ( prepare yourselves, jekyll only got 2 months of peace before hyde came back )

2 months ( actually tomorrow, the 19th ), & i have 260+ of you here!! that really is a fabulous feeling!! i have run out of jekyll & hyde stories to tell that are relevant to my own life, so this will be a relatively less exciting follower thing than the previous ones… 

special thanks to @condicionibus @custiis @dyaud ; you guys are great & honestly, where would i be without you. between the three of you, i get to yell about tons of things ( tho, mimi, we yell about our ship with mina & paracelsus but still, you’re great ), which is super mega rad. thank you for dealing with me, i am ridiculous. 


@accursedcreator @aquiilarum @allonsyalone @amoralborn @assassinxberserker @asturiat @amestriansmoker @autocratie @antipathiia @betterhealing @brideofsparda @bupagentkent @bravcycungsuitcr @bonhcmme @crackedportrait @caedxs @calisvol @crystallomance @duskhearted @derelinquar @decielis @eternalfaction @egctistical @edwardthebadass @flightlessgothamite @fragilefated @formalcraft @grimhymn @ghcstfreak @grand-order-girl @godxofxegypt @hannah-the-small @humanrst @hollowgunner @halfofxerxes @influencedbyfear @judgmentcast @journalwrote @jemcraft @joyveined @kingslcigh @kingartoria @kingnxbody @kcguya @lcverboy @ladyinsilk @lctranger @lancerofclay @littlclctte  @millenniumpharaoh @mothersins @monarchmutt @magnificentgoldenking @neverparted @narsussism @naztir @nvius @ofgemstones @ofsomnixm @ofhauntcd @ofeterniiity @ofsoprano @patriarchtosin @pinksaltfreckles @pettiirosso @queenbled @queengarnet @rosaxui @rebclvixen @siderion @sarrutum @seabxrne @saisci @saiilorlad @torchcd @tenacious–quaintrelle @themxdtitan @teaandpcetry @terrorscarred @texxeract @todesarie @uratanite @ululeis @verdegenesis @victorums @virtusferocia @wishbrcker @willowsongs @ximisaari & all of you, i know i forgot some & i m so sorry…. i love you all!!

anonymous asked:

Hey, how can I become an actress?

connections and straight up luck tbh

my story is that ive acted n plays nd shit my whole life nd i got into movies bcuz a teacher of mine’s wife (who was a director) saw a play i was n, liked me, nd asked me to b n her little short film. i said yes (it was a non-paying job) but then that movie got into a few festivals where there were casting directors watching, nd someone from ABC Family saw nd liked me, so i got contacted to work w/ them. n the end i couldnt cuz college tho :\

but literally one thing led to another nd it just worked out that way. complete fucking luck.

now im SAG-AFTRA eligible bcuz i also had a small speaking roll n another indie film i was working on as a cam PA (more random luck. the director saw me nd said ‘r u busy? can u b n this scene?’)

ur best bet is to get ur foot n the door ANY WAY U CAN. try out for hella stuff, grow ur acting resume, become acquaintances w/ almost everyone u work w/ bcuz ppl are more likely to hire ppl theyve worked w/ bfore or ppl who’ve been rec’d. dont b afraid to take non-paying jobs bcuz it looks good, but also make sure u arent being taken advantage of. u gotta b smart.

good fucking luck