Level 1: Mr. Darcy. Strictly entry-level. Really just awkward and kinda rude, hasn’t killed anyone.
Level 2: Lord Byron. Significantly edgier, with a laundry list of real and fictional misdeeds. Probably killed someone at some point.
Level 3: Rodion Raskolnikov. Welcome to Russian literature. You’re definitely lusting after a murderer now, but at least he’s repentant.
Level 4: Nikolai Stavrogin. You’ve graduated to Dostoevsky’s Baddest Boy. He kills people and doesn’t even feel bad after. You’re equally repulsed and turned on (as was everyone in the novel, it’s OK) and beyond all help.
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life… But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. And the reasons? There are no reasons.
Scenes – Isak and Even meet in the schoolyard (9.10 part 4)
Also known as that
post in which I make use of my English lit degree to overanalyse everything.
So here it comes: the
scene, in which everything is laid bare and has been episodes in the
making. You get the script, but as far as you can see, there is only one line
for one of you. That means that the rest of the scene hinges upon you, the
actor, your eyes, your body movements, your energy. Throughout the series,
you’ve had moments in which moments of quietness were needed, but none as long
as this one. To really make it work, it’s all about you and your fellow actor.
As mentioned in @softnorwegians’ lovely post the trust has been established: you know what you’re both comfortable with and
what you can do without breaking the scene. You can challenge each other, and
you have each other’s back; so you can make this as intense as possible. We as an audience have to keep in mind; it could be that the music was played during the filming of this scene, but it’s not the only sound they would’ve heard.
So how is
it possible that this scene feels so particularly intense, even when you
disregard the music? I think that one
of the reasons that makes you feel it so deeply is because of its use of the
five senses in order to focus on feeling. Feeling
that you’re not alone is so different from knowing that you’re not alone.
Regardless of whether Even was really going to take that
final step or not, Isak is scared out of his mind after receiving that text
message. As a person who has the tendency to assume the worst, as evidenced by
his inability to see that people aren’t always mad at him for stuff he does, for
Isak to see that bench to be empty has to be the most horrible feeling in the
world. You feel that his heart just sinks right into his stomach; until he
remembers Even’s ridiculous towel dispenser flirting move – maybe he’s to be
found there. And then, as if the stars aligned for just that moment, Even is
The tiniest hint of a smile is found in Tarjei’s mouth and
eyes, and he makes the relief feel tangible; Even is shocked into a motionless
state, his depression clearly has taken a heavy toll on him with his red-rimmed
eyes. But still, they walk towards each other. Both in different mind-sets;
Even terrified and maybe unable to comprehend what’s going to happen here,
while Isak is slowly taking in the fact that Even’s still here. They keep
looking at each other.
Now, the first time I saw this scene I was confused as to
what Isak was doing here; he’s not kissing his cheeks but seems to be ‘nosing’ them.
But rewatching it a few times, one edit with regular street sounds in
particular, made me realise that Isak slowly wants to make sure that Even
physically and emotionally feels that
he’s not alone. And even for himself, this is the case: Isak needs to feel Even
is there, he isn’t gone yet again, he’s right there. We need to see this in
So first are touch
and smell; cheeks upon cheeks, noses
upon noses as they are so fond of doing. Can
you feel me, Even? How close we are to each other? There’s no space between us.
And when he’s sure Even feels him – because Even leans into him in small increments,
brushing his nose ever so slowly over his cheek – then he moves on to touch and
sight and hearing. His hands make sure Even looks up, into his eyes. Can you see me, Even? I’m still here. See me
here so close to you.
And then he mentions a few of the most wonderful words you
can hear in this universe and all the parallel ones.
You’re not alone.
What a beautiful reaction from Henrik here: he listens, takes it in, and closes his eyes as if it’s too good to be true. Ever
so slowly, they move on to touch and taste. Isak takes the initiative, kisses
Even very carefully and only twice. I’d
like to kiss you so much more. If you’ll let me. But that’s all they need
for this moment. Then there’s the eye contact again; Isak already almost
falling against Even, seeing his face and those wonderful eyes again. Until now
they’ve only given the barest touches to each other, but now that’s not enough
Tarjei and Henrik’s amazing chemistry, trust and ability to show
the feelings and emotions behind this scene without saying anything made this
such a special scene. Lesser actors would not have been able to convey such
intensity in a scene without dialogue.
So Isak envelops Even into his arms, and Even reaches around
him to tightly hug him back. And isn’t that one of the most wonderful feelings in
the world? When you’re completely surrounded by someone’s smell, and touch them
by taking them in your arms, and hear their breath pushing out in relief? Now
you not only know you’re not alone,
but you can actually feel it.
2 November 2016 // [1/100 days of productivity]
There are 4 exam essays (10 000 words) that stand between me and completing this English Lit degree. Crunch time.
Decided to start 100 Days of Productivity to help me stay motivated and focussed. Feeling slightly overwhelmed trying to finish one degree while staying up to date with the LLB I’ve just started. But I know I can absolutely kill it if I put in the hard and long hours and give it my all.
Hope everyone is crushing their goals (no matter how big or small) today and showing the world what they’re capable of!!
Sitting in a comfy chair in a room w/ a bunch of windows, surrounded by plants
Blasting the oldies station to wake up my dad (and bc I like it)
Playing minecraft on my laptop, decidedly not doing my homework
i went to school on scholarship, got depressed and nearly failed out, took seven years away from school, then came back and finished school several thousand dollars in debt to get a lit degree and by god if i want to waste it overanalyzing “All Along the Watchtower” then by god that’s what I’m gonna do and none of you can stop me
this is a good excuse for me to put off being productive and i am in the mood to talk about books bc i had a bad day and book talk makes me feel better, so im gonna go ahead and answer it publicly! If u don’t like books you can blacklist my Lit tag ! or just unfollow me tbh my feelings wont be hurt
hestia: i’ve lived in a few different places so this is all over the place. i miss living in scotland…it’s so beautiful :’) i’d like to live in nyc and i’m moving there in two weeks. small town new england cause i did a lit degree…in some ways i actually really like desert, west texas except that texas is terrible as well
persephone: my favorite season is full throttle autumn, just turning into winter
towards uncertainty like a planet around a sun. through a galaxy, through a universe, minuscule moments made into monuments in my mind. a lashing impression– penitence for consciousness, striations on my back, always
fresh, self-inflicted. not enough lifetime
“I’M WELL AWARE IT’S ONLY SIX and it’s a wednesday, so i probably shouldn’t be on my third drink right now. but in my defence, i had the worst shift at the nutty diner today. i mean, usually people make crude jokes and it really doesn’t help that my last name is nut, but today was so much worse. someone genuinely asked me to give them my ‘special nut sauce’ instead of the usual mayo we put on burgers. like, first of all, if you want nut anything.. go to slice of heaven. we don’t do that at nutty’s. second… i may or may not have started crying. i just have a lot of feelings, okay?don’t judge me. i’m a sensitive soul.”
So summer is finally here!🌞 A word of advice to my paler and complexionless acquaintances :
the sun is going to be out and naturally you are going to bronze for the season. Good for you! What you are NOT gonna do HOWEVER is, place your arm next to mine, after you burnt it in the sun and then say some shit like “hey 😏 I look…just like….YOU😜” ….because I might just accidentally break your arm💗
Your skin looks that way as a result of your vampiric intolerance to sun light.
Mine, on the other hand, is organic & home made…crafted with love, lightly glazed then dusted to perfection 👍🏽👍🏾👍🏿 the result? a 365 days a year (extra lit in summer) 360 degree melanin millionaire glow.
love your pale skin and embrace it, but don’t play yourself and compare it to mine.